A/N Trigger warning. Character death. Suicide. So this is the last chapter. I might do an alternate ending that's fluffy and sweet. Don't own glee or Simple Plan's Untitled or uptown girl. Nick owns that one.


Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the sight in Nick's room. The bathroom door was broken off its hinges like it was kicked in, blood handprints and footprints lead from the bathroom. Wes covered in blood crying while paramedics started pulling a stretcher out of the white room. Nick, unconscious and laying on the flat stretcher, being lead away by the paramedics. Bandages covering both his wrists. My mind wouldn't accept what happened. Slowly I walked in to the bathroom. The peaceful white disturbed by the red lining the floor, walls, sink, towels, everything. It looked like I walked into a horror movie, and I did. I walked into my own personal nightmare.

'This is all your fault.' His voice, god his voice, but it was bitter and cruel. ' If it wasn't for you and your cutting I would never have gotten the idea. God why did I ever love you." Nick's brown eyes looked at me with regret and disgust.

"No I'm sorry. I didn't... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Arms wrapped themselves around me.

"Jeff look at me."

"No Nicky, I can't, I failed you. It's all my fault."

"Jeff snap out of it. Please." desperation lined his voice. 'Jeff your worthless.' fake Blaine smirked.

"Blaine I'm sorry. Please stop."

"Jeff...". "Dude it's ok.". "Jeffers" the warblers voices all mixed together but their words changed. I cringed at each insult. After another five minuets of insults, they stopped and I felt myself being picked up.

"Come on Killer let's get you to bed."

"Seb please not you too. Please don't tell me I'm worthless and it's my fault, cause I already know it is."

"Ok how about if I just hold you?"

I nodded and he laid me down then laid down next to me. It was cold and the bed was hard. After a moment it registered that I was on the roof not in the horror movie dorm room. I sat up and looked out at the night sky. It was clear and the stars sparkled all around. I looked around and saw all the Warblers sitting around huddled. Most of them, the ones who knew Nick since we came here, we're crying and hugging each other. The freshmen who were new clung to each other around Wes. One of their brothers had fallen and they found comfort in the head council member. I wiped my eyes and stood. I made my way over to the ledge of the roof. One false move and I would be free. It looked like a pretty sweet deal. I was brought back to the Warblers when Wes' cellphone went off. He answered it and I went back to staring at the sky. I knew it before I heard Wes sobbing. It felt like a piece of me had died as soon as the ambulance left. My soulmate, my life, my love, my best friend, my everything, was gone. And he was never coming back, and it was all my fault.

Wes, David, Thad,Trent,Sebastian, Blaine, they all pulled me into a group hug. That's where I broke down. I cried and cried until I couldn't breath. Heart wrenching sobs left me and no one could stop it. Only one person could and he was gone. There was nothing left to do except cry and scream Nick's name out into the night, hoping he'd come back to me.


Three days later and I was standing around a hole in the ground wearing a suit my mom picked out for me as soon as she heard. The September heat blared down on the ceremony but I couldn't move. I was glued to the ground as the pastor spoke. There shouldn't be a pastor at a 16 year olds funeral. A 16 year old shouldn't be buried next to his grandparents. Not before his parents are. I shouldn't be standing over my best friends grave. He should be here holding my hand and we should be together. But life is a bitch and here I am standing on a September afternoon watching Nick be buried. Soon the pastor stopped talking and gave the floor to the Warblers. Slowly I made my way over to them, it hurt to much to much to be here but, it was for Nick. I took center stage and started singing.

I open my eyes

I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how

I can't remember why

I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain

And I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I've got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I've got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I've got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

I finished and stepped back so Blaine could take over.

Uptown Girl lyrics

oooh, oooh, uptown girl,

she's been living in her uptown world

i bet she never had a backstreet guy

i bet her momma never told her why

i'm gonna try for an uptown girl

she's been living in her white bred world

as long as anyone with hot blood can

and now she's looking for a downtown man

that's what i am

and when she knows what

she wants from her time

and when she wakes up

and makes up her mind

she'll see i'm not so tough

just because

i'm in love with an uptown girl

you know i've seen her in her uptown world

she's getting tired of her high class toys

and all her presents from her uptown boys

she's got a choice

oooh, oooh

uptown girl

you know i can't afford to buy her pearls

but maybe someday when my ship comes in

she'll understand what kind of guy i've been

and then i'll win

and when she's walking

she's looking so fine

and when she's talking

she'll say that she's mine

she'll say i'm not so tough

just because

i'm in love

with an uptown girl

she's been living in her white bred world

as long as anyone with hot blood can

and now she's looking for a downtown man

that's what i am

oooh, oooh

uptown girl

she's my uptown girl

you know i'm in love

with an uptown girl

my uptown girl

you know i'm in love

with an uptown girl

my uptown girl

you know i'm in love

with an uptown girl

my uptown girl

you know i'm in love

with an uptown girl

The crowd applauded and then went back to watching the workers lower the casket and start filling up the hole. I didn't cry, I had cried to much in the past four days. I knew when I got home I'd break down, but not here. This was to important for me to mess up, besides all I felt was numbness. Nick always was my better half. The ceremony finished and I still stood there. The tombstone stared back at me. It had his name and life span like all the normal tombstones. But it had music notes carved into it as a border. The Warbler symbol carved into the top center of it and the words "3 to my 6 " carved at the bottom with other quotes made from the Warblers and his family.

"I love you Nicky. I always have and always will. We'll be together again someday." I wiped away a few stray tears and made my way out of the cemetery and over to Sebastian's car.


I wish I could say I moved on, but I'm not a liar. Everything hurts to much it all reminds me of Nick. I can't keep living like this. Which is why I'm up on my roof staring down at all the students making their way to class. It's my senior year. Nick never got to his senior year. He didn't graduate. So why should I? I wish my life had a happy ending, but it doesn't and I can't ever be happy without the one I love. That's why I'm standing here, why various pill bottles are thrown around the roof, and why most of them have their contents thrown about. Why my body is getting heavy and shutting down, and why I'm falling asleep in the peaceful beauty of Dalton. This is how the story of Jeffery Sterling ends. This is how he reunited with the love of his life and finally after 18 years, how he became happy.


So...I'm sure you all want to kill me now. Sorry for the super angst but it felt right. For my Jefbastian fans I'm working on a one shot and for my Niff fans which I'm sure most of you are...I'm working on the other ending. So review and let me know what you think. Reviews make me happy cause people actually like my work. Thank you for keeping up with the story.