Butt-sex!

Okay now that I have you attention.

The following are shout outs to reviewers

The ones in bold are to specific reviews, but I recommend all readers to read them (say that five times fast).

They explain my writing and such.

Oui, I have never taken a French class in my life. I have two years of Spanish under my belt, but that is about it. That is how my computer told me to spell chére and I trusted it. Stupid me. As for italicizing languages and Accents. I am a lazy. This is nothing knew. Both are poorly done. Yes in the far reaches of my mind I knew that languages are supposed to be italiced ( I read enough of Chopin to know that) but I tended to ignore that completely. As for accents, I honestly don't care much. This isn't a prize work I'm handing in. I'm trying more now to fix them when I edit, but honestly to do accents well I have to sit and say the sentence out loud and change it from phonetics to words.

Yes, there is no imagery. I don't like imagery very much. Once in a while, it is all fine and good, but after a year of AP Lit, I'm quite done with excessive imagery. The result? Absolutely none to speak of in my work.

Contractions? Didn't even notice the lack of…

I honestly don't see how Logan is being a jerk. Yeah, he isn't being all sweet and cuddly. He isn't exactly happy with Rogue right now. I have them in a father/daughter relationship right now. Picture a father that knows his daughter is flat out lying to him for a (as he sees it) a scummy swamp boy she barely knows. He is a wee bit hurt by that.

Oh yeah- I'm sorry but Jean as the resident tomato mascot is pretty funny.

Yes, Gambit does light up cigarettes with his powers. I actually have a whole reason he has the lighter that I forgot to include in my last chappie. Basically, it is pyro's and he kept it in his trench for a while (it is a nice lighter). He took it from John because John was planning on setting Sabertooth on fire with it for taking another lighter of his. Gambit wasn't extremely worried about John's welfare, he just knew he would get stuck scrubbing out the blood stains. Sabertooth doesn't clean and Piotr just kinda lifts boxes all the time. That is why he had the lighter.

RDV to the rest of the reviewers:

Of course it would be better if they were French. It just doesn't have the same affect from a short Italian kid. No matter how cute they are.

They do need to work on making every guy tall, Cajun, and hot. And yep- you gotta wait

Squirrels with guns! Run!

Acting his shoe size? Well if the rumors are true that would be very old indeed…. I'm such a perv.

Yes, I tried desperately to go to Tulane college in New Orleans. I said it was for the academics. In truth, I think I just want Remy.

Genetic porn music? Excuse me while I laugh hysterically at that one

Poor little guy friends…

And to all- here I am keeping it up/updating/still writing/being that bunny on crack/saving the rubber chicken, etc.


Using Logan's healing ability I was only out for 6 hours. However that landed me awake at like 3 in the morning. Luckily I was awake in my own bed. I'm assuming Logan carried me. What a gentlemen. I should get him a top hat and a cane. Then make him dance like bugs bunny. Okay that probably won't happen. Because of his healing ability I couldn't get him drunk enough.. Darn shame.

So at three in the morning I was happily reading my book. At about five I felt tired enough to fall back asleep. No one forced me awake on Saturday morning so I didn't roll out until about ten. That is how it always should be. No more of this getting up before the sun crap. It just isn't natural.

Because of how well rested I was, I managed to wrangle in another collar wearing. Mr. McCoy had a set amount of times he wanted me to wear the total suppressing collar before I switched to the new one. He, of course, did not feel inclined to share this number with me. So basically wearing it was like playing a slot machine. I would just keep going until- BINGO! Well- I guess "Jackpot!" would be more accurate to my simile. (Look at me with my bad-ass English words.) Whatever. The point was made.

I wore it until one o'clock and slept until a little after 6:00. The professor said the reduced slumber time was a good sign. Yes he did say "slumber". I think him and Mr. McCoy read a thesaurus in their spare time just to confuse us. They have to get their kicks somehow, right?

Since dinner was at seven I decided to take a shower. Yes, I hadn't taken one yet. What can I say? I'm a dirty dirty girl (yet another line I won't be sharing with Frank). I was under the water for about five minutes when a knock sounded on the door. Being the amicable person I am I politely replied, "GO AWAY!".

"Non, chére. You gotta le' me in."

I gotta let you into the bathroom with naked me? I think the boy has smoked some funky cigarettes.

"No way. Leave meh alone!" I screamed.

"S'il vous plait! C'est un emergency!" He said in a panicked voice.

Alright the boy sounded worried and he seemed to have forgotten how to speak English.

"English, Cajun! Ah don't speak French."

Pas vrai, but he didn't need to know that. Someday I would tell him that I was fluent. When it was most useful of course. Until then…

"Please chére, it is un emergency!"

Guilt is a bully. It is the tall kid with the ugly hair and bad smell that stands over you, making fun of you until you do what he asks. Admittedly, guilt has never called me a doo-doo head, but it has the same affect. Why else did I go back to that guild house?

I wouldn't give in to guilt without a fight though. "Sorry Swamp boy, the door is locked and Ah'm not gonna get out and open it."

"Pas un problème," he said in a cheerful voice. I heard a faint click and then a small gust of cold air hit me. Of course, I told the thief that I had a locked door. It was probably like giving him a cookie or something.

"Now, what the hell is the emer-" I cut myself off with laughter. As I was saying my sentence I had peaked out of the shower (mentally thanking the professor that we had dark curtains and not doors) and spotted Gamb- er- Remy (I'm working on it). He was covered in food. I mean covered. There was some sort of red stuff in his hair, something orange on his ear, his clothes were just…

"What the hell happened?" I asked when I could breath again.

"Enfants fous! Ils m'ont attaqué! La nourriture partout! J'étais juste…"

Even being fluent I got completely lost, he was speaking so quickly. It was a giant French blur. Like the Eiffel tower attached to a rocket.

"Remy!" I said, "Jeeze. Breath!"

Kudos for me for remembering to call him by his name. He stopped shouting and took a deep breath.

"Dey asked me to help in the kitchen. Then I heard a "get the new guy" and I was being attacked from all sides! Food everywhere! I barely made it out alive."

I thought I was melodramatic… Being the kind person I am I was as sympathetic as possible.

"All right chére, you can quite laughing now."

"No I can't. That is the-"

Yet again I was interrupted by a knock. "Hey Gambit! Are you hiding in there," Jubilee asked in a sing-song voice. Suddenly I understood why Gambit had come running in here.

"I'm trying to take a shower. Now go away." I called.

"Hey, is Gambit in there with you?" Bobby asked. I don't think he quite understood what he had asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "Gambit is in here taking a shower with meh." Gambit gave me a panicked look. I rolled my eyes and mouthed, "watch." (Which really made no sense since they were on the other side of a door, but oh well).

"Whoa! Really," Jubilee asked excitedly. Someone give me a blunt object, please.

"I think she was being sarcastic Jubes," I heard Bobby reply quietly. Apparently he wasn't completely hopeless. Kudos for him. Gambit smiled.

"Oh" Jubilee said, "Uh…bye Rogue. If you see Gambit let him know we were looking for him."

Yeah, that message would bring him running…

"Okay." I lied.

Gambit gave me a thumbs up and then went over to the sink to try to get some of the food off of him.

"You might as well just go take a shower, Cajun." I told him.

"Can't. They have all the bathrooms covered, 'cept dis one."

"Front door?"

"Yep."

"Wow, what did you do to deserve this?"

"Not'ing. I'm innocent."

He said that with a straight face too. I gave him a look.

"Okay, They found out that I was trying to look nice tonight."

"Why are you trying to look nice? And how did they find out?" I asked.

"Dey found out, 'cause I told dem and I'm trying to look nice 'cause I've got a date tonight."

Poor girl. Her Cajun honey is going to smell like, I sniffed the air, spaghetti sauce. I started to chuckle some more.

"Pas funny, chére" He said in a grumpy tone. I looked out again. His expression was best described as moody. He didn't make a good moody person. He greatly resembled an overgrown two-year-old. Who didn't get their favorite toy. Obviously that didn't really help to stop my laughter. He chose to ignore me and return to trying to get the food off of him.

A minute later I had finished rinsing the conditioner out of my hair. I then faced a conundrum. Gambit was still trying to dunk his head in the sink and I wanted to get out. I finally decided that the towels were big enough and got out of the shower. I would just pretend that a towel wasn't the only thing between naked me and the Cajun. Making sure the towel was tightly wrapped and tied around me I stepped out. Gambit gave one last shake of his head in the sink and stood up.

Remy (that's his name. Yep. I know his name) had managed to clean off pretty well. The front of him was spotless. And shirtless. Nice.

"Turn around." I ordered.

He did as I asked and I spotted something orange behind his ear as well as large red streaks in his hair.

"You missed some spots in your hair. And by your ear." I said.

He sighed and tried to get them clean. No dice. This time I sighed.

"Okay," I said, "don't move or turn around. Ah'm goin' to get my clothes on and clean you up."

"Isn' 'turnin' around' da same as moving?" He asked. Smart Ass.

"Just stay please." I said and reached for my clothes.

After I got dressed I dragged Remy over to the bathtub and turned on the water. Roughly putting his head under the facet. Ten minutes later my gloves were completely soaked, but the swamp rat was clean. After I checked to see if the coast was clear, we left the bathroom. By the time I got new gloves on it was time to go to dinner.

It was actually a quite affair until Gambit walked by about ten minutes into it. He had on a dark green form-fitting shirt with black pants. His hair had that "I just got out of the shower, and didn't bother to fix my hair but it still looks as sexy as hell" look. I know he had to have styled it that way. Okay I'm hoping, because if his hair naturally falls that way it just isn't fair. Cat-calls erupted.

"Wow Remy, you were serious about dressing nice," Amara said, "Where are you headed? Hot date or something?"

"Oui" Remy replied with an arrogant smirk, "A beautiful femme by de name of Stephanie, if I remember correctly."

Amara looked astounded so I thought I would enlighten her with some truth. "A.K.A., a scantily-clad blond he picked up at a bar." I said with a nasty smile.

"Dat's not nice chére," he said narrowing his eyes at me.

"Truth hurts, sugah." I replied.

Did I just say sugar? Did I just call Gambit sugar? I think I smoked some of those funky cigarettes.

"Forgive me chére, if I don't take datin' advice from a girl who hangs out with bikers twice her age all day."

Oh it's on!

"This from the swamp rat who excessive sleep overs with whatever drunk busty 'femme' he comes across."

"Forgive me for enjoying a little socialization. Not all of us like to hide in our rooms all day."

"Socialization? Oh is that what you call it. I would just call it being a slut, but however you care to see it is fine."

"A slut, chére? You are callin' me a slut? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound righ' now?"

"Ridiculous? You are the one dressed up like a little man-whore, and not the type for women. You know..come to think…are you sure Stephanie isn't actually Stephen?"

Gambit opened his mouth to speak but Storm interrupted him with, "I think that is enough! Rogue and Gambit, if you feel such a need to fight, please take it elsewhere. No reason to subject the rest of the students to this." As she entered the dining area.

I wouldn't call it 'subjecting' them to it. They seemed to have enjoyed the little show. Kurt and Kitty were whispering to each other while Bobby and Jubilee seemed to have lost the ability to talk. Logan was worst of all. He was the one supervising the meal since the other adults were running late. He hadn't bothered to interrupte our little fight like Storm. I think he was laughing too hard to have the ability.

Remy and I both apologized. And Remy said his farewells. I couldn't resist calling out as he headed towards the door, "Don't be cheap on your date. Take Stephen to a nice hotel like a Holiday Inn or something."

He back tracked and stood over me. I tipped my head back to meet his eyes as he leaned his weight on the table. Glaring down at me he said, "I will chére, don' worry."

I smiled and replied, "That's a good boy." And he finally left. I looked back down to finish my dinner which promptly exploded in my face. Bastard.

I planned on spending the rest of the evening alone in my room reading. Reading…check. Room….check. Alone….well, you can't have it all.

"Oh my gosh, what the heck was that at dinner?" Kitty furiously asked, "I can't believe you sat there flirting with Gambit."

Hold the phone! Flirting? Were we at the same dinner table? Last I checked, that was called fighting.

"What planet do you come from, Kitty?" I asked. "There was no 'flirting'. We were fightin'. F-I-G-H-"

"Oh please. That was such a total flirt fight."

Flirt fight? Same dinner table? I don't even think we live on the same planet.

"Ah have no idea what you just said, but most likely it isn't true, soo….you can go away now."

"Not yet. I have to know, honestly, are you okay?" she said looking at me like she was about to cry.

I was momentarily speechless by this sudden change in emotion. I blinked for a second before saying intelligently, "huh?"

"Are you okay? I mean about Gambit and all? Do you want to talk about it? Or we can just get ice-cream or something…"

Did I miss an episode or something? 'Cause I have no idea where she is going with this.

"Kitty-" I said slowly, "Ah have no idea what you are talking about."

"Gambit is going on a date tonight!" She said as if it explained everything.

"You know-Ah actually picked up on that, thanks." I said. I was seriously confused.

"Well, aren't you upset?"

"About what?"

"Gambit going on a date!" She said again.

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza.

"Yeah…Ah'm still not followin'" I said.

She gave an annoyed huff. "Are you okay? Since Gambit is going on a date with someone else and you like him and-"

"What?" I asked, completely panicked. Now it all made sense. She thought that I would be jealous or something over Gambit going out because she thought I liked him or something. "Oh no- no, no, no. Ah do not like swamp boy. You need to get that notion out of your pretty little head right now."

"Rogue, come one. Get over your pride for one day. I'm not going to tell anyone, you can confide in me. Talking to other people helps with the pain, I promise."

First off- who said I liked Gambit? Second off- Why was midget brunette talking like someone had died? "Helps with the pain?" She has gone off the deep end.

"There is no pain," I said firmly, "Because I don't like Gambit. Seriously Kitty, this isn't some psychological cover up. I don't like the boy, I don't care if he dates my mother!"

Okay that was a lie. That was one really disturbing thought. I shuddered before continuing

"The point is. I don't have a crush on him or feelings for him. I am not sad or jealous or hurt or whatever. So you can just go off and play with your Barbie's now. Rest assured, I'm fine. Thanks and bye."

"If you are so fine with it, what was with the fight at dinner then? We start up an argument about something you don't care about?" she asked in a confident voice as if I would break down in a sob-filled confession at this piece of evidence.

I gave her a blank look. This ain't Jerry Springer, sunshine.

"That was nothing. I was just joking around."

"I don't' believe you," she said. "I think you were just trying to deal with the hurt by insulting him. It is a defense mechanism called rationalization"

Did the girl eat a psychology book recently?

"You are being ridiculous kitty. We were just talking okay?"

"You were fighting. You were angry because you were hur-"

"No! It was just, Ah dunno, casual banter between friends, alright?" I said exasperated.

"Like flirting?" she asked.

"Exactly!" I said, "we were just….flirting." I finished my sentence in a low resigned voice.

"Oh. Okay then," She said with a smile and phased straight through my door.

Oh that smarts. It smarts bad. I flopped on my bed and screamed into my pillow. I tell ya- the girl is evil. Ten kinds of evil. No one ever believes me. Sure she is small and cute and looks all harmless, but it is all just an act. You would think the others would realize this after they've seen the way she drives- but nooo…. Cute kitty is harmless.

Life lesson- Cats are never harmless. They are evil demonic creatures, hell-bent on destroying the world. I don't like cats. At all. Dogs will fetch you the paper. Cats will fetch you a dead ferret. Dogs will always be loyal. Cats are loyal only to the can opener. Dogs are there to be your best friend. Cats are in it for themselves. And they are always, always, always up to something. Don't get sucked into the fuzzy cuteness. It is all a ploy. And just when you least expect it….Bam! They've gotcha! And no, I'm not overreacting.

I had about ten minutes of peace and quite before-

Bamf. "Hey Rogue, what are you doing?"

I'm eating crayons, what does it look like I'm doing?

"Just reading, what's up, Kurt?" I asked.

"Nothing much. Just seeing how you are doing."

"Ah'm fine." I said, not bothering to cover the suspicion in my voice.

Insert awkward silence here. And in 5….4…3…2…1…

"So Rogue- are you okay? Honestly?" he asked

Can you say déjà vu?

"Yes…" I answered slowly, "Why wouldn't Ah be?"

"Well, I just thought, well considering…" He started.

"Kurt, just spit it out." I ordered, annoyed.

"Well, considering Gambit's date, I thought you-"

I changed my mind. I didn't want to hear it.

"Kurt, I don't like Gambit and I don't care if he is datin' the Scarlet Witch."

Yeah- I though I would amend the 'my mother' bit when speaking to Kurt. Since it kinda turns into 'our mother' and gets even more complicated from there.

"Are you sure," he asked sounding like he didn't believe me in the least.

No. I'm just making it up.

"Yes, Kurt, Ah'm sure. Now go along and play with Kitty."

Instead he sat down on my bed and started into, "You know if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. We are siblings after all and siblings stick-"

"Kurt! I'm fine. Don't worry!"

Again I was ignored. "

"But Rogue, I know you don't like to admit your problems but-"

Desperate Times. Desperate measures.

"I'm fine Kurt." I said firmly. "In fact, I'm just going to listen to some music and relax." I reached over and turned on my CD player.

DU!
DU HAST!
DU HAST MICH!

"Uhh…I'll be going now" Kurt said and "bamf" he was away.

For some reason Kurt doesn't like to be in the same room where Rammstein is playing. Odd child.


You know the drill...

Oh, and thanx as usual for baring with the bad editing and randomly missing words.

I'm not sure when the next update will be (I know this one was very late. Blame the hurricane. That left like six days ago) because HP comes out tommow and that is like a bloody holiday. Seriously. I value HP more than Christmas. Easter at least. Well, I hate easter. Lets go for...umm... St. Patty's day. There we are.

Point is...Happy HP day.

I'll write again eventually.