Hey, everyone. I see a few people have put my story on an alert list and that satisfies me a lot, but I do hope that some of you will review and tell me what you think of the story so far (hopefully more than 1 sentence comments). As most already know, the tsunami and category 8.9 earthquake, with resulting aftershocks, has done major damage to Japan. Please keep everyone in your prayers, especially Hideaki Anno and his family.
NGE: Will to Live
Chapter 8: Recollection
It was a normal day as students celebrated their return to school after the huge battle by listening to the slow, monotone speech of the teacher. Due to the ensuing activity of the previous week most students couldn't even pay attention to the teacher's lecture, not that they couldn't repeat everything by heart already. Shinji scanned the room to pass the time, noticing the different activities other students were participating in. Having been directly involved in the battle, he was not as enthusiastic as them. He could still feel the intensity of what he went through; the fear, the pain, and the relief that he was here and not dead.
Half of the students were busy gossiping behind the teacher's back, who was busy spitting out 2nd Impact jargon and memories that he had during that experience. A lot of girls could be heard saying "I know, I know" while boys were going "I bet it was so awesome, I wish I had seen it." The brunette couldn't understand their enthusiasm. I'll bet if they had fought in that battle they wouldn't be saying half the things they're saying now. He was interrupted by a small beep from his laptop screen. He already knew who the message was from.
KA: Shinji I found out something really interesting yesterday.
SI: Really? What did you find out? Please don't let it be about the battle. Please, please don't let it be about the battle
KA: It's about the battle that took place last week. A small thump was heard, causing Kensuke to look back and see Shinji righting himself back into his seat. Are you okay?
SI: Yea, just lost concentration for a sec and fell out of my seat. Years of keeping this a secret from his friends had made him better at making excuses. So what did you find out?
KA: Well, after making sure it was clear, I managed to sneak onto my dad's computer and saw this mysterious file. Guess what was on it? He paused. Details about everything. It was so cool.
Okay, now Shinji was getting worried. Not only was his friend constantly getting involved with his secret job, but he didn't know what information he was obtaining. All it took was combining the words "Shinji Ikari," "Pilot," and "Evangelion" and his cover would be blown. He had to make sure just what kind of information his friend had gotten hold of, not only to uphold secrecy but also protect the life of the geek.
SI: So what kind of things did they say?
KA: The first thing that came up was the enemy, which they call an Angel. I know, right. Seems ironic that they'd call it that after it caused all of that destruction. Anyway, the next part was about the weapon that was used against it.Shinji was beginning to sweat with every moment as each new detail was mentioned. You wouldn't believe it, but we actually have our own giant robot.
SI: A robot?
KA: Yea, but the most irritating thing was that the file with data on the robot had a code that I wasn't able to crack. I was only able to see from the file description that it was called Eva. I don't know what that stands for, but it may be either a name or just what they call the robot.
SI: That sucks. Thank God that he didn't get to see anything other than that. Is that all?
KA: Not even close. I was curious so I tried to go through some backdoors to get more information, but all that came up was a file that was in the category of related searches. Shinji could see Kensuke's glasses shine with mischief. There was another file I couldn't get into but under the description it said "Eva Pilot." It's common sense that a robot needs a pilot so whoever the file was about must be the pilot.
Shinji inwardly let out a sigh of relief and secretly thanked Mr. Aida for being thorough about classified information. Then again, it would have been better if Kensuke hadn't been able to see anything in the first place. How in the world is he always able to get into things he's not supposed to? He's like the kid who keeps trying to reach the cookie jar or steal ice cream from the freezer. Then again what does Shinji know about parenting? He still occasionally tries to find where exactly the stick is in his own father's butt. Speaking of his father, Shinji glanced to the side to check on a certain someone, who was still staring out the window as she did often.
Shinji always wondered why Rei constantly kept staring outside during class time. Sure, the class was always boring, and maybe the teacher had a habit of sometimes repeating lectures word for word, but did that mean that she had no desire to learn? Nah. In fact, her grade was always in the top percent of the school, and outside of work she had a habit of reading when she was alone. He was only able to keep up because he studied hard. A small beep from his laptop meant Kensuke probably caught him daydreaming and wanted to get his attention, luckily for Shinji the lunch bell rang.
As if on cue, Touji burst in the classroom with an armful of snacks and treats that he had bought. His two friends almost thought he was literally a bottomless pit if they had not already seen him reach his limit before, not that they wanted to remember. Touji and Kensuke had already turned a group of chairs around and were waiting for their third member to come over. Shinji, on the other hand, watched as the blue-haired girl stood up and headed outside the classroom.
"Yo, Shin-man, come over and sit with us." Touji waved at his skinnier friend, while the geek was taking the time to clean his camera. Normally, the young teen would just pull up a chair and listen to normal school gossip and talk, but today he needed a change in plans.
"Sorry, guys, I have catch up on something today so I need to head out for a little." He received confused looks but nodded as he left the room. He felt bad for lying to them, but he just didn't think he could return to normalcy just yet. The worst part was that he couldn't vent anything to anyone because of secrecy. Therefore, he decided to eat lunch in the only quiet place in the school.
*Rooftop*
Sure enough, there was no one in sight, which made it easier for him to relax. After taking a seat near the fence line, he opened his bento to partake of one of the major skills he had. He had only started eating for about ten minutes when he heard the rooftop door open. And here I thought I could actually get some privacy today. Turning an irritated eye at the door he was almost taken aback by the red-eyed girl coming his way. She quietly took a seat close-by and began eating her bread, which appeared to be her lunch for the day.
"Ayanami, I didn't expect to see you hear." Rei looked over slightly before turning back to her meal.
"Am I not welcome to eat here?" Shinji shook his head and leaned back against the fence. He smiled as he stared at the sky.
"No, not at all. In fact, I'm glad that it was you who came up here." He turned to see her eyes staring into his own blue eyes. "I just didn't feel like spending time around anyone else at the moment. With you, Ayanami, I can at least be myself." He went back to his bento eating almost mechanically as he began thinking.
"You can be yourself around me?" If he had not known her for four years he would not be able to notice the slight confusion in her almost passive face.
"Yea. Ever since I started training and piloting, I've been kind of torn since I have to keep everything a secret." He took a sip of his tea and stared at his reflection. "Right now I have to play the part of a normal high school student, but the only drawback is that when I want to talk about things that concern piloting or anything about Nerv I can't. I feel like my normal life is an illusion." Rei was silent for a short time before speaking.
"Do you dislike being with Nerv?" He admired the albino for her ability to always ask the right questions. If they ever had the chance to live a normal life, then he would seriously recommend that she become a therapist.
"I can't say. I really can't." He took a bite of rice with his chopsticks remaining in his mouth. "But I wouldn't say that I want to quit either. There's too much at stake for me to run away. I don't think I would be able to forgive myself if I made everyone handle my burden too."
"I remember…" Shinji's turned his head in confusion.
"What?" The blue-haired girl has a far-off look as she stared straight ahead.
"I remember that time long ago," she paused, "the time when you first ran away."
Shinji smiled slightly. He remembered that time as well. It was a year after the physical training had started and he had been introduced to the evangelion. The shock of seeing the giant monster before him was almost enough to overwhelm him, but the fight between the Angels was the straw that broke the camel's back. As a young kid, he naturally took it as a joke but when no one started laughing he had a small mental breakdown. How was he, a young kid, supposed to fight off a group of monsters bent on destroying the world? He avoided Misato for a while and eventually decided to run away from home.
It was only for a few days but they felt longer. He had traveled all around the area from the red-light district to the mountains and tried to come to grips with what he wanted to do. Part of him wanted to run away and not have to fight, but another part reasoned that he should stay and do what he could. He knew that Misato and the rest were there to support him, which ultimately led to his return. That didn't mean he was willing to comply completely since immediately afterwards he was given a stern talking to by Misato. But what made a big impression on him was his conversation with Rei.
Although they had not had many deep conversations, Shinji could feel that he and Rei were getting along to a certain degree. While she didn't start many conversations she did manage to reply to his questions and answers. During his time away, he thought about her, in the sense that he was guilty about possibly abandoning a person whom he has made his friend. To him, the girl seemed even less fortunate than he was and once he remembered that he had begun contemplating returning to Tokyo-3. He still hadn't told anyone of this for certain reasons. One, Misato you most likely tease him. Two, he didn't want to ruin it by giving Rei the possible wrong impression.
He would be lying if he said that he didn't see Rei as a member of the opposite sex. Shinji knew for a fact that she was attractive. Her natural features made her even more unique and her personality, which some took as suspicious or distant, made her more alluring to him. But since he felt that his relationship with Rei was fragile he always felt worried if someone mentioned the possibility of anything beyond friendship, at least around her.
The brunette remembered talking to her a few days after he had returned from his time alone. Even though he had only known her for a year, he could sense a slight disappointment emanating from her stare. He asked her if she found out about his little escapade, which she confirmed. He was surprised when she asked him why he left, which prompted him to explain his feelings about his supposed mission.
After being introduced to the evangelion, Shinji was also made aware that Rei was already ahead of him in training with the machine, further confusing him. He had asked her about her feelings on piloting and fighting the Angels, to which she said that she trusted his father's work. He then went into a ramble, asking how he was going to stop the Angels or why someone like him had to carry this burden. However, during his rant he momentarily forgot that she was carrying the same burden as him. In her own way, she managed to tell him that if he didn't want to do it then he should leave, but that she would stay.
It took a few weeks for Shinji to approach Rei again and during that time all he could think about was her words. He occasionally went to watch her train and during that he was able to see her resolve towards her mission. Despite the time he was at Nerv, he was never able to find a personal reason to pilot, except to not let people, especially those close to him, die. He came up to her one day and told her that he doesn't know if he can be like her and that he admired her strength, wishing he could be like that. Shinji explained that while he may be scared and want to run away, he didn't want to abandon her and leave her to do things alone again. That was the first time he had seen her drop her mask slightly.
It seemed so far off but in reality he could recall everything from memory. Now he was fourteen, he had trained extensively, and he now had experience in order to see if he was truly ready to face the future. True, he was still afraid, but who wouldn't be in this situation. What mattered was how he planned to confront this fear head-on. The boy looked at his red-eyed companion.
"Ayanami," the girl looked up towards him, delicately swallowing the bread in her mouth, "you always eat so little when you come to school. Why?" Rei turned her attention to the bread in her hands.
"This is sufficient to satisfy my hunger. I do not require much to eat in my daily servings." The boy was bewildered. While he had seen her eat different things before, he literally never saw her eat more than a handful of something for every meal. It was like she was fasting. No wonder she looks so pale and skinny.
"But that's still not healthy, Ayanami. You should still eat more in order to prevent from getting sick or suffering from malnutrition." The girl looked at him, as if this was her first time hearing about it. Shinji speculated that she probably took something literally that his father told her and stuck with only eating what she thought would sustain her health. Suddenly an idea popped into his head and he smiled. "Hey, Ayanami, how about I make you a lunch to bring to school that way you can start eating better." The albino looked as if to consider this and then responded.
"I do not wish to trouble you with such a thing, Ikari."
"Oh don't worry, it won't be any trouble at all."
"I do not wish for you to make a lunch for me every day that we attend school. I believe that would be too much of an inconvenience." Shinji frowned. So it appeared that she wasn't concerned with him making her lunch as much as the trouble of him making her lunch every day.
"Hmm…." Shinji needed to find some common ground so that she could accept the offer. "Well, let's try this then. I'll make lunches for you for a while, but in the mean time I'll also teach you how to cook that way you won't have to worry."
"Teach me to cook?" Rei's eyes gave the impression that she had never thought of learning how to cook. Shinji could tell there was a slight curiosity in her eyes as well. "I suppose that would be acceptable." The lad gave a large smile.
"Great, that settles it. At least now we'll be able to make sure that you can eat better." Just then, the lunch bell began to ring, signaling both people to head back class. Shinji headed back with Rei following behind. He didn't care if anyone misunderstood the situation of them heading back together, his mood had drastically improved.
*Nerv HQ – Command Room*
"Yes, everything is going according to plan." Gendo sat behind his desk talking to an unknown recipient. "Just be sure to safeguard the cargo on your way." Setting the phone down, he eyed the folder in front of him. A picture of an attractive young girl was seen alongside a four-eyed red robot. "It seems that things are progressing in the right direction." He shifted his focus to outside the geofront. "Don't you think so, Yui?"
Finally I managed to update. It took me a while to get everything the way I wanted. I kept starting and erasing every detail that I used in the beginning of the chapter but now I can move on. Let me know your impressions.
