Note: Sorry about the lack of updates recently. I've been rather busy with the holidays and moving, but now the story will be updated more regularly. Thank you for the feedback and, as usual, enjoy.
The Gathering Night
It was strange to wake up and see the familiar ceiling of her room in District 7. At first Pandora thought she might be dreaming, but the far off noises and voices reminded her that she was back.
Her eyes tiredly peered to the window. Yesterday was the final night she would spend in District 7.
It was the largest feast her home had seen since Johanna Mason won the Hunger Games a couple years ago. There was music and song. Everyone was filled with joy because they knew that one of their own had made it through the arena, but there was no comfort for Pandora. Today was the culmination of her deepest fears. President Snow had lived up to his word, and now she had to live up to hers. Today she would stand on the platform of District 7 one last time, look out towards the knolls and forest and say goodbye. A shiver of guilt and shame swept over her. Suddenly she felt nauseous.
Near the door her dress still hung loosely around the wooden frame.
Her hair wildly fell around her shoulders as she threw the covers away and slipped out of bed. Snow had melted in the weeks that she had been away. Though there were still a few patches here and there, rain now replaced it. It was coming down in sheets, filling the roads with puddles.
Miles had been traveled and pained experiences spent, and yet Pandora still felt like she was stuck in square one, unable to move.
Her fingers grazed the warm banister as she descended the steps and wandered through the hallway into the living room.
"I was coming up to bring you tea."
She peered over her shoulder. August was holding a steaming mug.
"I overslept."
"I think we can forgive you, it was a long night."
"Thank you," she whispered, receiving the tea. Her lips tingled as she sipped at the scolding liquid.
The living room was filled with cases, tools, drawings, and luggage. Her entourage had more than made themselves at home, they had completely taken over.
"I didn't see you that much last night, I was hoping we would talk," August said, brushing away one of Caradoc's sketchbooks to sit.
Pandora's eyes widened. "Talk?"
She was thankful that the news of what happened in District 2 hadn't traveled to her family, thankful because if she had to explain the details of that morning she wouldn't be able to without delving into her own repressions and thoughts. They were ignorant to the true depths of danger Pandora was in, and that was how she wanted to keep it. She had made each one of her entourage swear to silence.
"I missed you."
She rubbed her lips together and nodded, "Yes, it felt like I was gone forever."
"Well, you're back home now."
Although Pandora told her mother and Dash, she hadn't found the courage or time to tell August she was leaving them. There were stories and lies she had thought over for the past year but none of them seemed believable. It was always easier to lie to the others, but not to August. He was too perceptive, too full of questions. Pandora knew that was the reason only August was around today, she knew that the rest of her family couldn't bear to see her leave yet again. Now more then ever she felt like a coward.
"August I have to tell you—"
"There she is!"
Her words stopped and her eyes angrily twitched to the line of people filtering in.
Lucius came first, smiling like a goon. Then Vibia and Caradoc.
August scanned them over in disgust.
"You're not even dressed!"
Pandora felt her chest tighten. Her eyes fearfully looked to August.
"Dressed for what?" He inquired.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about—to the family about—"
"For the trip to the Capitol of course!"
"What?"
"August—I—"
"Oh dear," Vibia whispered with her hand over her mouth, "Lucius I think you let it slip."
"Slip?!"
August tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. It took a moment for him to realize what they were yammering about, but slowly it set in, particularly when he noticed Pandora's face change.
"What?!" This time when he said that single syllable there was no doubt or confusion in his voice, only urgency, only shock.
Make it believable, She told herself.
Her fingers hesitantly grazed her lips as if she were thinking. Her eyes lifted to his.
"August, there's so much good I could do from the Capitol."
"You're leaving us?"
"No. Not forever, just for a while," She lied, nervously peering to her stylist team.
"We just got you back!"
She let out the best laugh she could muster and shrugged. It was hard to act casual towards her brother, he knew her so well.
"And you'll have me back again. August—" she tried to ignore everyone else in the room as she took the few confident steps towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders, "This is something I want to do."
"You don't want this…we're a family, we stick together. What about mom?"
"I've already told her and Dash. She's strong she can make it with your help, and Dash—well—he'll be fine. Ophelia is young, she doesn't know the real difference yet. I'll be back before everyone knows it."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I want to. I—I need to, August."
Lucius awkwardly cleared his throat, only adding to the tense atmosphere in the room.
Urgently he grabbed her wrist and leaned closer, "Are they making you do this?"
She blinked her eyes in shock and peered at Caradoc, "No—what?!"
"Pandora, are they?"
She scanned his face and eyes. She was being to passive with him. If firmness was the only way to make him believe her she'd do it, Pandora would do it so that she could ensure her family's safety.
With a furrowed brow she wiggled away from him and shook her head, "I said no, August. How many times do I need to tell you that this is something I want? It has nothing to do with them, or the family. It's something I need to do!"
"I'll never forgive you if you leave."
The words jarred her. Pandora's muscles went rigid, her eyes widened. "August, stop—"
She tried to reach for him but he was moving too fast.
Before she knew it he was just a shadow. When the door slammed she jumped and parted her lips in frustration.
It took her a few brief seconds to remember that Caradoc, Lucius, and Vibia were standing nearby. When she finally did her eyes dropped to the ground. Her hand pressed against her forehead.
"Well—I'm sure everything will be fine," Vibia tried to console.
Pandora lowered herself onto the sofa, leaning her elbows onto her knees, "No it won't."
"Like you said, you'll be back before they know it. He's just in shock."
"Vibia—" Caradoc tried to interrupt.
"And then everything will be as right as rain!"
"Vibia!"
Her blue face turned towards Caradoc in surprise.
"Be quiet."
"I was trying to help—I'm trying to make her realize that she'll be back before she knows it."
Caradoc tightened his lips, "She's not coming back."
It hurt Pandora's heart to hear Caradoc say the words that she had been repeating to herself for a year now. Her hand moved from her forehead to her cheek. Her brown eyes peered towards the fire.
"And she doesn't need to be soothed like a child."
She saw Vibia's shadow nearby, felt it as her makeup artist physically moved away. She didn't need to look up to know the expression that was on Viba's face. She had seen the expression many times before, the look of pity, of confused and uneasy pity.
"The train leaves soon, Pandora. An escort should be arriving to usher you to the Capitol."
"Catia?" She whispered back, staring at her fingernails.
"Catia left this morning."
"Why can't you escort me?"
"Because I'm no escort, I'll be rendered useless for you now, we all will until we're needed."
She lifted her eyes and looked between the faces standing before her. Pandora remembered then how scared she had been when she had first met them. She had been overwhelmed and disoriented from being reaped for the games. Now their faces were so familiar.
"Will I have time to say goodbye—" she briefly turned to the windows, "—to my family?"
"That was what yesterday and this morning were for."
She could feel tears stinging her nose and eyes, but she held it back as the dull light melted through the windows, "Right, of course."
No other words were said. She kept her eyes on the window as she heard the team pack their things away and shuffle in and out of the room. Occasionally she would feel eyes on her but she ignored the prickle at the back of her neck. It wasn't until she heard the front door shut that she looked around. Everything was just as it had been before the Victory Tour. Her mother's living room was barren and neat again. Her eyes shifted to the ticking clock near the fireplace mantle.
"Soon," she whispered to herself, tapping her fingertips against the velvet fabric of the sofa.
She brought her knees to her chest and slouched further into the cushions. There was no sound or music in the house. Silence swallowed her. As time passed the ticking clock became a lullaby, singing her to sleep. Heat from the fire blanketed her. She felt her lips part as her body gave into a quiet slumber.
Hours must have passed. Hours of nightmares.
A crack of thunder was the first thing she heard.
Her eyes opened in bewilderment.
To Pandora's fatigued ears it sounded like a tray of dishes falling to the floor. Her hand instinctively tightened into a fist.
The fire in the hearth had died down, leaving only a few embers and logs glowing. As she lifted her body off the sofa her eyes twitched to the window. The sky was blackened and bruised. Rain was pouring from the clouds. The spring storms were starting.
"Caradoc?" She called in confusion, half-forgetting that her entourage had left.
"Hello?!"
No reply.
She wandered into the entryway and gazed up the staircase. The house was still. Another few footsteps past and she was near the coatrack.
She had just grabbed her coat when she heard a familiar voice. Dash's voice stung her ears.
Pandora narrowed her eyes and pulled the coat on. When she grabbed for the doorknob she winced, it was cold to the touch.
"Dash?!" She called to him, opening the door, "What are you doing out there?! You'll catch a cold in the storm!"
Cold air and rain hit her in the face.
She stepped onto the porch, "Dash!?"
Her boots thumped against the wooden beams but they stopped when her eyes found her brother. He was talking to someone, or rather laughing with him or her.
At first she couldn't tell who the anonymous person was, but as he lifted his umbrella she gasped. Two hazel eyes stared back at her. Just beyond the officer's black cap she could see the wisps of electric blonde hair.
"Pandora!" Dash cheered.
Her face contorted into an expression of repressed anger.
She barely remembered herself as she jumped off the steps and into the rain. Her hair was soaked by the time she got to her brother and Adric, "What are you doing here?"
"Relax, I was just talking to Dash."
It was then that she noticed the cup of hot cider in Dash's hand and the pastry in the other. Adric was shielding him from the rain with his umbrella.
"Don't eat that Dash,"
"Why not?" He asked in confusion.
"I said don't!"
Adric Pedersen widened his eyes.
"Give me that," Pandora continued, snatching the drink and bread away from Dash, "Go inside, please."
"Pandora—" He droned, rolling his eyes, "I'm fine."
"Well you can be fine inside, you'll catch a cold out here."
"August let's me play in the rain."
"I'm not August."
Dash stubbornly peered between Adric and his sister before tightening his scarf and bowing his head to the soldier.
She waited for her brother to be inside before she turned back to Adric, "We don't need your trifles."
Pandora practically threw the food and drink at him.
"That was for him—"
"He doesn't want it."
He peered off into the distance, flipping the collar of his black coat up. It brushed against his cheeks and lips, "I see you're just as sharp as ever."
Raindrops rolled down her face. The snow had melted but there was an icy chill in the air, a chill that matched Pandora's demeanor.
"Why—" she stumbled over her words, an acidic expression swept over her face, "Why are you here?"
Past the curved edges of the dripping umbrella she could see Adric's eyes, "I'm here to escort you to the Capitol, of course."
Silence was the only reply.
Pandora's back straightened and her lips tightened. "Why you?"
"I asked."
Again she adjusted her posture in surprise, Adric Pedersen was unexpectedly blunt and forward. It was unsettling to Pandora. Through her brief travels to the Capitol she had quickly caught onto the fact that their citizens were not only absurd and frivolous but also vapid. With Adric this was not the case at all. He spoke to Pandora in a way that reminded her of honestly wrapped in barbed wire. A whisper of kindness in his eyes would quickly be followed by concise and pointed words.
A whistle bellowed.
Adric's eyes quickly shifted to her face, "That'll be the train."
"I'm not ready—" she peered over her shoulder, towards her house. Dash was sitting at the foggy window. Pandora could see his rosy cheeks and wide eyes through the rain. "I need to say goodbye."
When she turned back to him she expected a stern face and stubborn eyes, but there was only understanding.
He lowered his eyes and nodded, "You have all the time in the world. This train is for you, I suppose it can wait for you as long as you need."
She parted her lips. Her brow furrowed as she tried to hold back the tears that were stinging her nose and throat.
"Thank you," she managed.
Her boots trudged through the muddy ground and traveled up the steps of her porch. At the door she paused. The sigh that left her lips trembled. Behind the door she could hear their voices coming closer and closer. Dash must have told them it was time.
Her fingers quivered as she grabbed the doorknob and twisted.
When the door opened they were all there, standing in a row. Each had a different expression on their face.
"I'll miss—you—" her whole body was shaking, "I'll miss you all."
Hot tears were brimming in her eyes.
She wanted to hug them and ask for forgiveness, tell them the truth…but she couldn't. Her tongue was tied with threats and lies.
"Just come back soon…" Dash whispered.
A sad smile formed on her lips. She lifted her hand and jingled the bracelet.
"I'll be back before you know it."
For a moment she caught August staring at her. A smirk told Pandora that he would eventually forgive her. She wondered how long that forgiveness would last when he realized she was never returning.
She took a few steps back, grimacing at the cool breeze that was blowing in through the open door.
"I love you—all of you."
Her mother walked forward. Pandora tried to calm down as she felt her mother's hands hold hers. She led her to the porch as if she were a little girl again. Softly, her hand pressed against Pandora's cheek.
"I'm proud of you."
A tear rolled down her cheek. She stared at her mother, trying to remember the color of her eyes, the wrinkles in her face. It was a face that she had grown up with, a face that had molded not only Pandora, but also her entire family. Her eyes moved to her brothers, then her baby sister.
"Goodbye," she breathlessly whispered, biting her lip as she pulled away and descended the steps.
The wind blew. She could hear the mud squishing under her boots, feel her body sinking into the ground with every step taken. Their eyes remained on her until she was past the fence of the Victor's Village. Of course they weren't going to travel to the station with her, it would only make it harder.
Pandora wanted to look back, to catch one more glimpse of their faces, but she couldn't bring herself to.
Her hands were still shaking in the car. Her brown eyes tried to take in every nook of District 7, every building. Adric was the only other person in the car, apart from the driver.
The shops and people they were passing by were the basis of Pandora's life until the Hunger Games. These were the things she had relied on. She was watching her childhood pass through a bit of glass now.
"We used to play just over there," Pandora suddenly spoke, pressing her fingers against the window and rubbing her trembling lips together, "We would race each other."
He looked at her in astonishment and followed her gaze to a tiny square the car was passing by. Mossy roofs loomed over palettes of lumber, freshly sawed.
"We used to laugh and pretend, pretending and playing," She whispered, "But we stopped when—" something caught in her throat, "—all of this happened."
"Why did you stop?" He courageously asked, expecting a hateful glare.
Instead she kept her eyes on the window and slowly shook her head, "I was reaped, I killed people—and—and I guess I grew up. Though I pretend still, always pretending."
He stared at her with awe. Before he could talk himself out of it he reached for her, placing his hand on her knee.
A heartbeat passed.
Her eyes slowly peered at him.
"You aren't done…not just yet, Pandora Sullivan."
It wasn't a threat, or a snide remark. His eyes were so soft, his tone generous.
"You don't know me," She gently whispered back, "How can you say that?"
He retracted his hand and looked away, "I know you more than you think. That's why you should trust me when I say—"
"Say what?"
"You can bend but you'll never break."
She abruptly looked away and crossed her legs. Her lips rubbed together as tried to shake a strange feeling at the pit of her stomach.
With a jolt the car stopped.
Adric reached for the handle but Pandora's words stopped him, "Wait."
He glanced to her and arched his eyebrow.
"Why are you here?"
"To escort you to the Capitol, I thought that was clear."
She shook her head, "I know, but why?"
His eyes lowered, "I have a lot to apologize to you for, it seems. You think I'm a monster—I'm here to prove you wrong, Pandora."
She stared at him in speechless disbelief.
He pushed the car door ajar and jumped outside. He moved around the car so fast that when he opened his umbrella and her door she widened her eyes.
A glimmer of a smile pulled his lips up as he shivered and peered inside.
"And I warn you," he added, "I'm not easy to shake."
She fastened the top button of her coat and climbed out of the car, glancing at the umbrella and the train with a sigh. Her lips remained straight, her face hardened.
"Of that," she quietly responded, "I'm sure."
