Wasteland
Chapter 8
Disclaimer : You know, it breaks my heart each time I have to write this. I still don't own Twilight, or Jasper. ...*Lower lip quivers*
Quick note : This chapter will be divided in two sections. The first half is the usual Jasper's POV, and the second will be Alice's.
How did I ever end up here?
I didn't mean that literally. I knew how I ended up in the dark, lonely street of London. I remembered getting on the plane, cursing myself mentally the whole time for not taking more precautions such as reserving an aisle just for myself. The woman sitting next to me should thank whatever deity she believes in that my world had been crumbling and I was too absent to really notice her. Killing a human and getting rid of the body was easy enough, but on an airplane? Definitely not a good idea.
I meant that first sentence as 'How the hell did I end up here' emotionally.
My mind vaguely registered the wet, cold wall I was leaning against, soaking through my shirt, but I ignored it. The only thing I seemed to be able to concentrate on was the pain. Like the slow ticking rhythm of a clock, I could feel my unbeating heart in my chest chip away with each passing second. Funny how something that hadn't moved in decades could still hurt so much.
It was unnerving, but at the same time, comforting.
I chuckled darkly. Yes, it was comforting to know I could still feel something. I couldn't imagine how I could deserve any less than pure agony. The atrocities I had commited certainly qualified me for this torment. But most importantly, I had run away.
I had tucked my tail between my legs and fled the one person I had sworn to never leave.
I had to be insane. It was the only explanation that made sense.
I glared up at the cloudy night sky, blinking away the raindrops falling in my eyes. Even the rain was mocking me, a constant reminder that I couldn't cry away the pain and sorrow I felt so vividly. I was barely aware of the odd looks I was getting from the humans passing by the alley I was in. Couldn't a person simply wallow in peace any more? But I wasn't a person, was I? I hadn't been for nearly a century.
A sigh escaped my lips as I looked to the ground briefly before moving further down the road, away from suspicious eyes. The searing pain echoing in my whole body was my only companion as I walked aimlessly. Painful memories flitted though my mind, of Alice, always of her, and I simply let them devour me alive.
Time became nonexistant; not that it had ever played a major role in my life. I eventually walked out of the maze that was London's alleys, and found myself on the sidewalk of a well-lit street. The cheery light the lamp posts made me feel sick. I stayed in the shadows, the light a few inches away from my feet.
Monsters should stay hidden in the dark.
"Jazz?"
My head snapped up at my nickname and I'm sure, had I been human, that my neck would've cramped up. The woman walking past me on the sidewalk recoiled at the sudden movement, hesitating, before giving me a wide berth as she hurried past my shadowed form.
"No, I don't like jazz." I heard a young girl giggle, and I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.
Just two love-struck teenagers talking about ridiculous things over tea. My gaze swept past the little cafe across the street, mentally cursing myself. Of course she wouldn't be there. How masochistic could one get?
I had left her, and still, I couldn't stop searching for her.
I heard the girl laugh again, and couldn't help but notice the difference. Whereas Alice's laugh was musical, hers sounded like an untuned violin compared to it, the sound making my teeth grind together. I winced and turned around, walking back the way I had come. I hadn't gone very far when I caught sight of a reflection in a window of an abandonned warehouse, and I stopped. The man staring back looked like me. Same height, same messy honey blond hair. The exact same ragged scars adorning his pale body.
But his eyes, blood red, as if witness to the fires of hell burning inside of him, terrified me.
I ran a hand through my hair, and the reflection mimicked my movement. How did I end up like this? Why couldn't I get over it? Wasn't feeding on human blood my nature, after all?
It was maddening.
A low growl escaped my lips as I pulled my arm back and punched the deceitful glass and watched as it broke into a thousand tiny pieces. The relief I felt was cut short when I looked down and saw my reflection stare back a thousand times over on every piece.
I screamed in frustration and walked away as fast as I could, wishing it were so easy to run away from myself.
Alice's POV.
"What's bothering you, my daughter?"
I wanted nothing more than to grit my teeth at the nickname Aro had chosen for me. Instead, I kept a serene expression on my face as I turned my head to look at him. My hand absently straightened an imaginary wrinkle in the long, black silk skirt I was wearing. I forced a smile on my lips. "Nothing's the matter, dear father. I was simply thinking."
"Aah." He moved closer, seemingly floating, and took a seat next to me on the bench by the grand window reaching halfway to the ceiling. "Thinking of him, I presume?" He continued, and my smile faded a little. Of course I was thinking of him. How could I not?
I nodded, turning back to look down at the busy, oblivious humans below. I couldn't help but imagine how their relatively simple world would change if they knew vampires lived amonst them, and that they were merely pawns, amusement, and food to us. Well, most of us, that is. I didn't belong in that last category anymore, though.
Funny how the most simple of things can cause your whole world to change.
Jasper had left me, and everything was different. I found myself not being able to look at things with the same enthusiasm as before. I had always prided myself in being someone who was cheerful, outgoing and optimistic, but all that seemed pretty vain these days. It was as if I was only a shell, void of everything that once was me.
And I didn't understand why.
Sure, he had left me, but it was what I had wanted, wasn't it? I wanted him away from the horror that was my life now. I wanted him to be free whereas I couldn't be, hoping my knowing he was happy would help me cope with reality better.
It didn't help.
I couldn't lie to myself, and pretend he was happy. I could've stopped looking for him through my visions, but seeing him was my only way to cope these days; my sole comfort. How I wished to see him smile in my visions. Just once. One smile would've been enough to make an eternity worth living.
Only the memory of his crestfallen expression lingered in my mind, successfully ripping my heart in two.
Aro's voice put an end to my thoughts. "It's really a shame he didn't stay with us. A gift such as his would've been more than welcome." Anger seethed through me, even as I avoided letting it touch my expression. All he was interested in was making his little "group" stronger. He didn't care about any of us on a personal level; to him, it was all about the profit.
Heedless to my internal struggle, he went on. "Not every vampire's strong enough to accept what they really are, I suppose." His smile made me want to growl. "I'm glad you were, sweet Alice." I forced a smile on my lips and nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment.
He rose to his feet, looking down at me for a moment before speaking once more. "You should follow my advice and forget about him. He's not one of us." He turned around, leaving me alone as his words sank in.
Not one of them, of us.
And yet through Heaven, Hell, and everything in between, he was my everything.
Chapter 9 will be coming soon! I hope you enjoyed this one!
I can't believe I have over 50 reviews! I'm already overjoyed when I get a single one, and now after fifty, I'm all WOAH~!
So a BIG, HUGE thank you to everyone who read and reviewed! You guys are the best!
