Chapter 8

As soon as they had left the crypt Willow began walking quickly and resolutely towards the exit, keeping her gaze fixed on a patch of ground a few feet ahead of her, and never turning her head to either side, much less to look back at Spike. He ran after her and put a hand on her shoulder, spinning her to face him, "what's gotten into you, Red?"

Willow pulled away from him and continued her speed walking out of the cemetery. "Willow! Hold up just a minute, will you?" Spike hurried after her. "We just got the information we need to fix Buffy, far as I'm concerned that's a good thing, yeah? So what's with the sudden cold shoulder?"

"The sudden…? Spike, I don't even know what side you're on anymore! Down there you were just a little too good with the kinkiness and the creepy sex slave having and the dark, menacing promises. Kinda makes a girl remember that for over a hundred years you weren't pretending, that was really you."

"Still is, pet. In a way."

Willow let out a noise of disgust mixed with frustration, "see? This is why I really just need to get home, to my nice, Spike-free environment, around my nice, not so morally ambiguous friends."

Spike snorted, "yeah, good luck with that, Red. Should I tell Anya and Buffy to clear out then? Leave you and the whelp to form the executive board of the bigot club? Sorry, I'm afraid I'll be a bit too busy getting results to join in the fun."

"Ugh, it's not the same, Spike. Anya's reformed, and Buffy, well, it's temporary and she can't help it. And I don't see them beating their lovers to a bloody pulp as a part of sex play."

Spike cocked his head to the side, remembering, "actually, you shoulda seen some of the marks Buffy left on me during her idea of foreplay…"

"Eeww! Ickyness! That's another thing! I'm tired of being understanding, non-judgy Willow! I'm feeling pretty damn judgy! And the whole you and Buffy having sex thing? Kinda high on my list of things to judge! How could you take advantage of her like that? You say you love her, but then why didn't you understand that she was going through a hard time, not exactly the best time to start sleeping with her ex arch nemesis!"

"No, you don't understand," Spike growled, stepping in front of Willow and cutting off her path. "You lot are supposed t' be her friends, but you're such a bunch of selfish, near-sighted, whiny, little brats that you couldn't let her rest in peace. Just had to go playing with the dark forces, didn't you, Witch?" He shook his head, letting out a bark of mirthless laughter, "what a joke; you're darker 'an all of them, darker 'an me, maybe, and yet here you are, all brassed off with me for not being as vanilla as your quaint little sensibilities would like. Get a grip, Red. All I've done since you and the slayerettes brought Buffy back is give her what she needs, what she bloody well deserves,and you lot are too busy pretending life's all sunshine and roses to even see it!"

Spike's speech struck Willow dumb, and when she finally responded all the fury had drained from her voice, leaving only bewilderment and a lingering note of revulsion. "But those things you did to Drusilla, I mean, I know she's a bad guy, but she was so beaten up. And the way it was all sickly erotic…You must have enjoyed doing all that." She shuddered.

"It was," Spike sighed and searched for a way to explain it, "nostalgic. And it's not as bad as all that; I only gave Dru what she wanted. Different strokes, right Red? You of all people ought to know that. The only really cruel part about it was the fact that I was lying to her. And I was; you can be sure of that. God help me, it's still all about Buffy. I only did it to save her."

Willow pondered that a while before answering "you'd do anything to save her, wouldn't you?" she glanced over at him from beneath a furrowed brow, her words barely more than a whisper. He gave a small nod, and she took a deep breath before continuing, her voice louder and lighter this time. "Well, it's still majorly icky, but I guess I believe that you really did it for Buffy. And maybe it's icky to me like Tara and I might be icky to you…So I can be all tolerance Willow for now."

Spike smirked, "Hey now, who said I find anything about you and Glinda 'icky?' On the contrary…" He curled his tongue behind his teeth and grinned lasciviously at the witch.

"Oh, you!" Willow smacked him on the arm, "now you're just being a pig on purpose!"

000

"Back up there a minute, Willow. How is this in any way, a good idea? This is Spike we're talking about, remember? Big on the bleach and creepy, stalker-like obsession with Buffy, but kinda lacking on the team spirit front? Not to mention, I don't even know how it would work…"

"Well, we're still kinda hazy on the how part of it, except we can't exactly use the same method we did with Angel, it's too volatile…but really, it makes sense to at least try! If what Aaron told Spike was true, and the Don Finch prophecy seems to back it up, we can't just use any old spell to return Buffy's soul to her, her demony slayerness and soul have already gone too unmixy for that. Drusilla's visions have always been reliable, once you get beyond the whole craziness factor; if she saw Buffy getting her soul back for good because of Spike 'melding' his soul to his demon, we should at least look into it." Willow gasped for air a bit as she finished; that had been a record-breaking ramble even for her.

Xander didn't even try to address all of Willow's points; he just threw up his hands in exasperation and gestured towards the blond vampire, "yeah, but Spike!"

"Harris, you sanctimonious, bigoted prick." Spike spoke with low, pent-up fury. "You might care more about hating me than saving your best friend, your goddamn hero, but thankfully this isn't about you! Any of you. I'm not saying you wouldn't be a help, damned if I know why but you lot do have a knack for the mystical, but this is about Buffy, and now it's about me. If there's even a sliver of a chance that getting my soul back will restore Buffy's to her, then I'm going to the ends of the bleedin' earth to get it. I'd rather do it with you lot at my back, make things a hell of a lot easier, but I am doing it. With or without your soddin' approval. So get fucking used to it."

Anya let out a noise of confused frustration. "I don't get what everyone's so upset about. All you guys do is complain about Spike being all evil and soul-lacking. Well, he's about to go run off to get a soul, so where's all the jumping for joy?"

"But honey, it's Spike. We can't exactly trust him," Xander said gently.

"But he's changing himself, going against everything he was, for love! I thought you good guys ate that stuff up. You sure should." Anya looked pointedly at her fiancé before turning away and ignoring him completely.

Spike threw a grateful glance at the ex-demon and she nodded at him, still avoiding Xander's gaze.

"It's not as simple as that, Anya," Giles said with irritation, "I don't doubt that Spike's feelings for Buffy seem very real to him; and because of the heightened stress of Buffy's current, ah, state, he might be temporarily considering extreme measures. But no demonic, evil creature has ever willingly adopted a soul before. Why even Angel had to be—"

"I'm not Angel," Spike growled.

"I know that, Spike, but you are a demonic, naturally evil being and the point remains that it's entirely unprecedented for—"

"Well maybe I'm bloody different! I don't know, not really much for self-reflection! Not like it matters a damn anyway, it's my soddin' soul, and I'm gettin' it back! For her!" He got up and stormed out of the Magic Box, muttering under his breath, "don't know why I bleedin' bother with this lot, never understand; don't want to. Fucking white hats."

000

The Scooby meeting petered out pretty soon after Spike left, everyone heading to their respective homes and agreeing to reconvene the next day. Soon after Tara, Willow, and Dawn had arrived back at 1630 Revello drive, the phone rang.

"Hello?" Willow answered, cradling the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she puttered around the kitchen tidying up. They hadn't spent much time on housekeeping the past few days.

"Willow?" came a sharp, hissing whisper from the other end of the line.

"Anya? Why are you whispering?"

"I don't want Xander to hear me; he's in the other room. I'm calling about Spike and Buffy."

Willow stopped moving around the kitchen and put her hand to the phone to hold it more stably. "Tara, Dawn and I were thinking about the um, situation too. You think you can make it over here without Xander smelling anything fishy?"

There was a pause as Anya made some mental calculations before she answered, "yes, I think so. I'll tell him I want to plan my bachelorette party with you guys to take my mind off the whole Buffy being evil thing."

Twenty minutes later the Scooby women all gathered in the master bedroom, wanting to avoid any chance of their conversation drifting down to Buffy in the basement. They'd all spent as little time as possible down there over the past week; every meal delivery time came with a personalized dose of psychological poking, prodding, and taunting from the chemically weakened Slayer, and they were all quickly reaching the limit of what they could take.

"Well I'm just going to say it," Anya burst out after they'd exhausted their meager reserves of pleasantries. "Xander and Giles are being dumbasses. The Slayer is freaking terrifying. I spent a thousand years with the Slayer being the big, scary boogey man, um, woman, to me and my friends. And I had magic demon powers to protect me then! Now I've got nothing and I'm feeling just a tiny bit threatened! You guys are used to fighting on her side, but until she gets her soul back, we're her enemies. Take a look at the life expectancy of her enemies! I mean, Spike's the only one still around that she hasn't killed."

Tara nodded in agreement, "Anya's right. Buffy's formidable and it's only a matter of time before she finds a way out of the basement. Even without her Slayer powers, she's cunning."

"Yeah, she defeated a crazed master vampire while locked up in an old house the last time Giles gave her those power-draining injections," Willow mused.

"So we're going to help Spike get his soul back, right?" Dawn piped up excitedly. "I mean, that's why we're having secret meetings and Anya's lying to Xander, right?"

Anya nodded matter-of-factly. "Yes. Honesty is an essential part of a healthy relationship. I wouldn't be going behind Xander's back if it weren't to save his life down the line. I really need him to be alive for the wedding. Also, I love him."

Willow sighed lightly, "well, now that we're all talking about the elephant in the room, how are we going to do this? We can't use the gypsy curse, and I can't do any heavy lifting magic wise."

They all sat silently for a while after that, thinking. After a bit Anya began to look uncomfortable and chew on her lip. She battled with herself for a few minutes longer before expelling a frustrated sigh. "Ugh! I am so going to regret suggesting this. I am going to get myself into so much trouble."

"So you have an idea?" asked Dawn excitedly.

"Well, I know this demon…"