Author's Note: I'm so sorry for not updating lately! I have gotten busy in university especially now that I am currently working on my thesis. When my summer vacation came, I mostly slept as I barely had any sleep at all during the last term. Summer vacation ended for me three days ago and today is my second day of school [sigh, back to suffering].
My updates will take longer because of school so please do your best to be patient and I'll do my best in school and to write more! Sankyuu~
Correction/Explanation: For those who got confused because I think I made a typo in the previous chapter and in a chapter before that, Mayu did not drink the black water from Chiyoko-sama (she pretended to drink only). She also did not drink the black water found in her room. The glass of black water was put there but she did not touch it. It was just there to temp her to drink it but she did not drink it in the end.
Also, just in case there are some people who haven't realized it, the story is composed of events in the past and events that are in present time. Like it has a flashback and return to the present kind of thing. ^v^;
Endearment
Eh? I'm at the backyard of the citadel? How did I get here?
"Mayu!"
"Haru!"
I happily run towards him and jump into his arms. His hug is the warmest of all; even winter could not match the warmth he gives.
"We've got the goods right here! Hana made a lot this time so eat as much as you both want!" Jouichiro says as he holds a big picnic basket in the air happily as he walks with Hana following behind.
"Perfect weather for a picnic, right? The view is always great here under the big tree." Hana says. "The shade keeps us cool too!"
Haru and I lay a blanket on the lush green grass.
"It feels good to stay lie down right here under the tree. It's the best place to take a nap in the daytime!"
"Haruto! Get your back out of the blanket!"
"But it's so comfortable this way, Jou!"
"We need space for the food!"
"Let me enjoy this for a few minutes, please?" Haru says teasingly.
I lie down beside Haru. "Wha! The tree looks so beautiful from this angle!"
"Isn't it?" Haru turns on his side to face me.
"And Haru is right; it's so comfortable to lie down here."
"Really now?" Hana decides to lie down on the blanket too. "This is pretty good! It really is comfortable!"
"What—Why did you two join him?! Where am I going to put down the food?!"
"Hold your horses for a while, Jouichiro. Just put the picnic basket down over there and join us. This is something you have to do too!" Hana says.
Jouichiro sighs and gives in to all of us. He puts the picnic basket down near the base of the tree and lies down on the blanket.
"Oh—! This is comfortable!"
"See? I told you." Haru says proudly.
"It feels wonderful just like the view." Hana says.
"In noise you find chaos. In tranquillity you find peace." Haru says in a quiet voice.
I look at him. "Haru, why did you say that?"
"It was just something that Chiyoko-sama once told me. I had too much in my mind that it held me back in my training and in some of my duties so she said that to me." Haru pats Mayu's head gently. "If you keep thinking about too many things at the same time or if you keep yourself too busy all the time, you won't get things done right or in time. Sometimes we have to really take some time off and just take a moment to step back and rest while looking at everything in a different perspective."
"Hmm. You do work a lot, Haru. Sometimes I don't know if you get time to rest."
"Don't worry. I do have enough time to rest even if it doesn't seem that way; I sleep pretty well. You're the same too, Mayu. You work a lot too."
"I do?"
"You have so many training sessions and then you do some extra studying in your room in the evening; that's a lot on your plate too. I also know that you've been trying to keep everyone cheerful and that's a lot of work for someone in your age."
"I don't think I'm working that much. Sometimes I feel like I still need to do more."
"Trust me Mayu, you're doing more than what everyone expects of you. You remind me of myself, actually. You need to remember to take a break too from time to time."
Haru pinches my nose. "Wha! I can't breathe! Let go!"
He laughs the moment he releases my nose and I get to breathe in the fresh air again. I ruffle his hair a lot in return.
"The old man fell asleep! Hahahaha!" Hana suddenly says.
Haru and I look over at Jouichiro and he's sleeping with his mouth wide open. I think he's drooling a little.
"The old man got too comfortable hahaha!" Hana pokes his face a little.
"When he wakes up, all of the food will be gone." Haru says playfully.
"Whaaa! You guys are so mean to Jouichiro! He's been working the hardest among us all after being assigned as the new leader of our citadel. You're all meanies!" I pout at them.
Haru and Hana look at each other and then they smile wryly.
This…I remember this happened around a month or so after Chiyoko-sama's cremation. We were all still mourning deep inside but everyone knew that Chiyoko-sama would have wanted us to get ourselves back into good form and fulfil our duties as saniwas.
Jouichiro wakes up after a while and we start to lay the food onto the blanket.
"You did a very good job with the food as always, Hana! These croquettes taste great!" Haru says happily.
"The salad tastes great! You should try some, Haru." I pick up a broccoli piece and hold it to him.
"Ha…ha…ha…Um, I'll let you enjoy the salad since you like it Mayu."
I frown at him and move the broccoli closer to his mouth. "You should really learn to eat more vegetables, Haru. You need the nutrients that you can get from them!"
"I-I know! I'll learn to love them them someday!"
"And when would that be?" I say in an annoyed tone.
"So this is where you've been, Mayumi-sama." Mika says as he comes over.
"We're having a picnic!" I say happily. "Look! Hana made lots delicious food! She also made them look cute like these apple slices that look like bunnies and then the sausages look like octopuses and they have faces too!"
"Hm? A picnic? It is a fine day for a picnic indeed. Enjoy yourself, Mayumi-sama."
"Wait a minute. Now I know what seemed different." Haru points at Mika. "You weren't by Mayu's side all day today! Neither are Taroutachi and Uguisumaru!"
"Oh Haru, I told them to—"
"Are you guys abandoning your duties?!" Haru asks frantically.
"Haru! No! I told them to just do what they want for today! Since I was going to spend the whole day with you guys, I told Mika, Tarou, and Ugui to spend the day whatever way they'd like; I always give them free time whenever I can."
"What Mayumi-sama said is true. She told us to take the day off today and thus we have been apart doing our own things for the meantime." Mika nods.
"Oh." Haru settles down.
Mika pats my head with a smile. "I must be on my way now. I'm currently playing with the little ones."
"What are you guys playing?" I ask.
"Hide and seek. I am currently 'it'."
"Have you found any of them yet?"
"I've found Maeda, Akita, and Honebami. I've still got a lot to find."
"Good luck, Mika! Don't let them beat you!" I gave him a cheer by putting both of my fists up.
"I appreciate the encouragement. This grandpa won't lose."
Mika takes his leave. I kind of worry if he'll ever find everyone who is hiding. I mean…he hasn't even noticed that Sayo has been following and hiding behind him all this time.
"Mayumi, you call your swords using nicknames don't you?" Hana asks as she swipes Jouichiro's beer from his hands and drinks from it.
I nod. "Yes. I gave them nicknames—Mikazuki is Mika, Taroutachi is Tarou, and Uguisumaru is Ugui. It's more convenient and I feel closer to them when they have their own nickname."
"Actually, Mimi even calls the other swords thru a nickname she makes for them." Jouichiro says as he gets back his beer from Hana. "She calls my Ishikirimaru as Ishi, Tonbokiri as Tobo, Kashuu as Kiyo, and Yamatonokami as Yama."
"Mayu calls Yagen as Kusuri sometimes. Ichigo becomes Ichi, Midare becomes Mi-chan, and then Ookurikara becomes Kuri. Ookurikara's nickname is cute but he tries to kill me when I use it." Haru says.
"That's quite cute. I didn't know she calls other swords with nicknames too." Hana says.
"I also have nicknames for your swords too, Hana! Mutsunokami is Mitsu-nii, Nikkari is Niko, Hakata is Kinmaru, Shokudaikiri is Dai-chan, and Nagasone is Nako!"
"Wait, wait, wait, you call Hakata as Kinmaru? As in gold circle?"
I nod. "Yes! He's always concerned with money so I decided to call him Kinmaru!"
Hana laughs. "That nickname is good! I'm going to start calling him that from now on hahaha!"
"Does Mikazuki refer to the other two using their nicknames, Mayu?" Haru asks.
"He does sometimes. Tarou and Ugui also use their nicknames to refer to each other sometimes."
"I think…if my swords start calling Ookurikara as Kuri then he'll murder them all…"
"Really? I don't think Kuri would do that; he's really nice and warm."
"I wish he would be as kind to me as he is to you. Sigh."
"Maybe you tease him too much, Haru?"
"I believe it is the other way around."
We continue to enjoy our little picnic on this fine weather. When the wind blows, the big tree's leaves rustle; it is such a calming sound. We'll definitely have this picnic again someday. There will be lots of food, the weather will be just as good, and most of all we'll all be here.
For sure.
Someday.
"Hnghh…"
The sun's warmth heats up the blanket of my futon and awakens me from my sleep. With my eyes still closed, I hear the birds singing outside; the window must be open. I fell asleep on my left side even though I usually sleep on my right side.
The first thing I see upon opening my eyes is a blue and white cloth clutched inside my right hand. As my vision settles, I see Mikazuki quietly reading a book by my side.
"Nghh…Good morning, Mika."
"…Good morning, Aruji-sama. Did you sleep well?"
"I did. I even had a dream…a good dream."
"Oh? May I ask what it was about?"
"It was about that time when Haru, Jouichiro, Hana, and I had a picnic under the big tree at the backyard."
"If I remember correctly, that was one of the days when Taroutachi, Uguisumaru, and I had a free day. I was playing hide and seek with the young ones back then and saw all four of you when I was looking around."
"Yes, that's right." I sit up and thought for a moment. "Hey Mika, how about we all go for a picnic today? The weather is just as wonderful as back then. Wouldn't it be a nice way to relax today?"
"That sounds wonderful. I think that is a good idea."
"I'll start with preparing the food then!"
"I will gladly help you. I shall inform everyone before heading to the kitchen to help you."
"Okay!"
"But Aruji-sama, would you mind letting go of my sleeve? I won't be able to go if you keep hold of it."
"Ah! I'm sorry!"
"Ha, ha, ha, some old habits do not die easily."
"I-I guess so."
Mikazuki visists everyone's rooms to tell them about the picnic. He, Uguisumaru, Mitsutada, Kasen, and Sayo decide to help me prepare the food. Kashuu and Yamatonokami went to the general store to buy drinks. With their help, the preparations went on smoothly and swiftly. We carried the food in baskets to the backyard where Shishiou and Hasebe laid the blankets; everyone was already there waiting for us.
"Whaaa! There's so much food! Ah! The apples are cut like bunny rabbits! The pork buns look like little piggies! The sausages look like octopuses! Oh! And the sandwhiches are in different shapes and designs!" Midare says.
"The food all seems too cute and beautiful to eat." Souza says as he picks up a rice ball.
"It was Aruji-sama's idea and she herself helped to prepare the food we have today." Mitsutada says.
"Then for sure they'll all taste really good! Itadakimasu!" Taikogane says. "The pork buns taste really good!"
"What would you like to try, Sayo?" Souza asks.
"I want to try the pork bun too."
"Okay. Here you go. Chew it well before swallowing."
"The octopus shaped sausages are so funny! If you wave them like this, the legs move just like an octopus!" Yamatonokami says.
"Hey! Don't play with your food! That's rude." Kashuu says. "What—?! You took my tuna belly! Give that back, Tsurumaru!"
"Whoops! Sorry, Kashuu! It fell into my mouth. Hehe."
"It's lively as always." Honebami says.
"It sure is! That's the best part! It's never boring when we're all together like this." Namazuo says.
"Taroutachiiii! Come and just us over here! The sake is really good!" Jiroutachi says.
"Sigh. You're drinking and drunk again, brother. What have I told you—"
"Awww! Don't scold me on such a beautiful day! Come! Relax and unwind yourself with us! I guarantee that the sake will make you feel great!"
"I'm fine over here, brother. Continue on drinking without me. Sigh."
"The weather is very calm and cool today; it's perfect for a picnic." Hachisuka says.
"Even the birds are singing beautifully on this day." Uguisumaru says.
"Aruji-sama, would you like some more tea?" Mikazuki asks.
"Yes, I'd like a refill. Thank you, Mika."
"….." Everyone suddenly becomes quiet and looks at me.
"Eh?" Did I say something wrong? Or perhaps am I supposed to say something?
Everyone keeps their eyes on me and I still have no idea as to why.
I lean a little closer to Mikazuki and whisper, "Why did everyone become quiet all of a sudden and why are they all staring at me, Mika?"
He smiles wryly at me. "Aruji-sama, I do not know if you have noticed but you have been calling me by my nickname since you woke up. I believe everyone is in shock from hearing a name that they have not heard of in quite some time."
Oh that's right…I haven't used anyone's nickname since I became the head of this citadel; I've been using their real names all this time that they've grown unaccustomed to hearing their nicknames. I gave them nicknames not as a way to show ownership or any of the sorts but because I simply thought it would be a more personal way to refer to them; I thought that it could help us become closer to one another. For me, I thought it was a form of endearment just like the way Haru calls me Mayu. Maybe…I should start using their nicknames once again. Our bonds are of great importance; I should have been careful with commiting actions that push them away from my heart. I should strive to become closer once again with them. Perhaps it is time that I stop and avoid the noise and seek the silence. I must stop mourning and instead walk forward with my life. It would be what Chiyoko-sama, Haru, and the others would wish for me.
"Ishi, the meat on your skewer is falling. If you don't bite it soon, it will fall." I say.
"A-Ah, yes! Thank you, Aruji-sama." A hint of joy is found on his face as he bites the chicken on his skewer.
"Kiyo, Yama, staring with your mouths open isn't proper and it makes you two look silly."
"Aruji-sama! You said my nickname! Also Kashuu's!" Yamatonokami says. "Did you hear that, Kashuu?! Did you hear that, Kashuu?!"
"Tobo, would you like some more meat?" I ask.
He nods with eyes wide open.
"I think this is your faovirte if I remember correctly. Enjoy it! Dai-chan made the sauce and it's really delicious."
Mitsutada looks at me with a piece of meat stuck in his mouth in surprise.
"Ishi, I think Niko should try this. Could you pass it to him please?"
Ishikirimaru passes the dish I hand over to him to Nikkari Aoe who was sitting beside him.
"Aruji-sama." Gokotai tugs on my kimono lightly.
"Yes? What is it, Gotai?"
His face lights up. "Aruji-sama, why are you suddenly calling us using our nicknames?"
"…Do you not like it? I will stop if you don't like it—"
"We like it!" Midare shouts all of a sudden. "We like it and we missed it!"
"We thought that you might have grown tired of us when you stopped using our nicknames gradually. We didn't mind at first when you suddenly only used our nicknames sometimes but when you stopped using them completely, we became a little worried…" Gokotai says meekly.
"We couldn't ask you about it because you changed in other ways that brought us other concerns—you had become someone consumed by great grief. You may not have confided anything to us but we can surely sense it from you, Aruji-sama. Everyday you smile and have fun with us but at the same time your eyes had traces of deep sadness and worries." Kousetsu says. "You suffered and changed in silence. It must have been difficult for you."
"Aruji-sama, you may have gone thru difficult and sad events in the past that perhaps most of us may not know about but rest assured that we all will be by your side." Souza smiles gently. "In your own words, we are all a family, are we not?"
"Yes! We're one big family!" The little ones say loudly.
"You kids are so lively." Yagen says as he drinks sake.
"You sound like an old man for a second there, Yagen." Ichigo says.
Everyone laughs and continues to tease Yagen. I could not hold my laughter from their jokes; they can be so creative.
I worried everyone…I did not mean to worry or sadden them. I did my best to keep everything within me but it seems they saw thru me and read me like a book. Kousetsu was right—I was consumed by my grief and lost part of myself along the way; I became distant and placed a wall around me. Only Mikazuki, Taroutachi, and Uguisumaru know about the past while everyone else does not as they all came to this citadel two years after the that incident; they know nothing and I have decided to tell them nothing of how everyone died here except for me. Of course I told them about the black water but that is perhaps the extent of whatever I decided to tell them. To be honest, I think it is more appropriate though to say that everyone returned two years after the incident and that they do not know anything because they had forgotten what had happened and I have decided not to help them remember.
As I stared at my tea, a strong gust of wind blows by and takes my shoal up into the branches of the big tree.
"Ah! Aruji-sama's shoal! It flew!" Midare says.
"Kogi." Mikazuki looks at Kogitsunemaru.
"I'm ready when you are." He stands up and squats a little with his two hands put together.
Mikazuki walks some distance away in the opposite direction where Kogitsunemaru is.
"Eh? What are you two doing?" I ask.
"Looks like Jiji is going to fly." Yagen says excitedly.
"Fly? What do you mean by that?!"
Mikazuki suddenly runs towards Kogitsunemaru and leaps onto his hands that were put together. The moment Mikazuki's feet touched Kogitsunemaru's hands, Kogitsunemaru lifts his hands up with great force and then Mikazuki jumps into the air.
"Up he goes." Uguisumaru says.
Mikazuki lands on one of the upper branches and leaps to the higher ones. He reaches the height where the shoal floats in the air and leaps towards it. He grabs tightly the shoal and starts to descend to the ground; strange enough, he is still smiling.
I drop my tea and stand on my feet filled with worry. "Mika!" I shouted.
Kogitsunemaru grabs my hand. "Don't worry, Aruji-sama. He'll be okay."
Taroutachi stands up and takes out his very long sword and swings it towards the spot where Mikazuki is falling to. He holds his sword sideways so that the flat side faces Mikazuki.
"Mika!" Taroutachi utters.
Mikazuki nods at him as he falls on the flat area of the tip of Taroutachi's sword. He then does a backflip and safely lands on the ground.
Everyone claps in amusement.
"The old man still has it." Yagen says.
"Impressive as always." Uguisumaru says.
"Mikazuki, are you really okay?" Ichigo asks. "Your legs are shaking."
"My landing was a little off. Ha, ha, ha."
I take a long deep sigh of relief. These guys will be the death of me if they keep pulling off such dangerous stunts!
Mikazuki returns to my side. "Your shoal is retrieved—"
I hit him on the head.
"Ack!"
"You didn't have to do that! That was dangerous, you know! I thought you were going to hit the ground and get seriously injured or worse—break! You know I can only do repairs despite all these years that I've been trying to forge a sword! Repairing you is possible but recreating you or creating another you is impossible!" I hit his head a second time. "I could always sew another shoal or just buy one!"
I turn around and face Kogitsunemaru.
"Kogi!" I say sternly.
"Y-Yes?!" He becomes tense.
I hit his head too. "You shouldn't have supported Mika to do such a dangerous thing! You should know better!"
I walk over to Taroutachi.
"Tarou, bow down!"
"Y-Yes, Aruji-sama."
He obediently bows down to my level and I hit his head too. He takes hold of his head immediately and stands upright.
"You should have just caught him instead of letting him do his stunt! You know that he can be a little showy or extra! And I thought you had a better sense compared to him and Ugui! You should have known better!"
"Y-Yes, Aruji-sama. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry."
I let out an angry sigh. "You're all going to kill me thru heartattacks!"
Everyone becomes quiet and lowers their heads.
"As compensation for making me feel like I lost ten years of my lifespan, let's all put this behind and enjoy ourselves for the rest of the day."
"Okay!" Everyone shouts joyfully.
I sit back on my spot and wipe off the tea I spilled.
"Aruji-sama, here is your shoal. It is quite windy so you must protect yourself from feeling cold."
"Mika, you can be an idiot sometimes." I pout.
"Ha, ha, ha." He puts the shoal over me then pats my head. "Yes, I know that very well since I share that same characteristic with my master."
"Wait, do you mean me or Haru?"
He smiles and says nothing.
"Mika, you—"
He suddenly turns around. "Kogi! I'd like to taste the pudding. Could you pass one to me?"
"Wha! You're running away!"
"Aruji-sama." Nakigitsune quietly talks to me.
"What is is, Nagi? Is there something you want to talk about or perhaps there's food you'd like me to get for you?"
He shakes his head. "I…wanted to ask you something."
"Oh, okay. Fire away, Nagi."
"…Since you're using our nicknames again, can we call you just like how we used to?"
"…Yes. Yes! I wouldn't mind at all. You and everyone else can call me that way if desired."
He smiles and nods at me. "Okay. Thank you…Mayumi-sama."
"Yay! We can call Aruji-sama as Mayumi-sama again!" Midare shouts. "Come one everyone! One, two three!"
"Thank you, Mayumi-sama." They say in unison.
Hearing them all say my name after such a long time brings such an enormous joy in my heart. It brings back so many good old memories and at the same time creates new memories that are just as wonderful.
"Mayumi-sama, a-are you crying?!" Kiyo asks.
"Here's some tissue!" Yama says as he offers the tissue.
"Do not worry; these are not tears of sorrow. My eyes teared up because you all filled my heart with so much joy. I'm just so happy to be with you all."
After everyone had died back then, I collected as much as I could of the injured and shattered swords. I spent days, weeks, months, years, trying to collect their pieces and to repair each and every sword that I could. Some could not be repaired as they were missing too many parts. All others were incomplete so I had to improvise using new pieces of metal. It was only Mika, Tarou, and Ugui who were complete since they sustained the least injuries during that day. When I was able to repair the others, they were good as brand new but I noticed that they had memory lapses; they didn't remember anything of that day nor anything of their former masters. With they way they are now, I do not see a reason for them to remember and perhaps it will be this way for a long time. All they know is that there were other saniwas who lived here but they died protecting this place and I was the sole survivor. It is not a lie but it is not the whole truth either.
I drink a new cup of tea. The air is filled with laughter and smiles that shine so brightly. I hope that this would last for a long time; if possible, until the day I die. I will do my best to protect you all just like how you all do your best to protect me.
"Mayumi-sama, it's great to see you smiling honestly once again. It has been a long time since the last one."
"True. However, your flattery won't exempt you from what you did. Starting tomorrow you shall help me with paperwork, Mika."
"Ha, ha, ha…"
"But, I'd like to say thank you despite what you did. I know you went after the shoal because of its value to me."
"I did think that it would bring you sadness to lose it. That shoal did belong to Chiyoko-sama."
"Thank you."
"It is nothing, Mayumi."
"Still, you're still going to help with the paperwork."
"Understood." He smiles wryly.
