A/N: To my myriad of fans (haha) sorry it took so long to get this up. I wrote it and rewrote it probably four or five times... Thanks to the two of you that left me a review! It was much appreciated! This one's for you...Oh, and there's a little bit of dirty language and adult situations, though that's why this is rated 'M'... If I could rate it higher than that, I would... You have been warned!!

8

"Happy Halloween!"

"Happy Halloween, beautiful. I got you something," Draco said as a smile crept onto his face. He pulled a small velvet box from his pocket and put it gently in her hand, receiving an excited smile from Ava.

"Really?! You know, I've never gotten a Halloween gift before," she said with a grin, wrapping her arms around his neck. She had heard that Muggles celebrated Halloween, but preferred to dress up like folks from the wizarding world. However, Halloween was an incredibly sacred holiday in the wizarding community and it had hints of everything from Christmas to Valentine's Day in it.

"Before you get too excited, open it up and see if you even like it," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I'm sure I will," she said, leaving a quick kiss on his cheek before she gently opened the box. Inside, a tastefully large emerald necklace, set in white gold, rested against the soft fabric. Ava's eyes widened as she stared at it before turning and wrapping her arms around him once more. "Draco, I love it. It's incredible."

"Not as incredible as you," he said, pulling out the necklace and clasping it around her neck. "Besides, you're with a Malfoy. Nothing but the best for you, my dear."

"I have something for you too, but you can't have it until later," she said with a smirk. "I have to go though. Potions, you know?" Ava leaned forward and kissed him passionately before standing up off the common room couch.

"I want it now," he mock-whined, grabbing her hand and pulling her back down. "He's the only wanker in the castle making you go to class on Halloween. Can't you just skip it this once? Please?"

"You know Snape would kill me," she said, kissing him once more. "I'll be back soon, don't worry."

"Alright… But come back as soon as you can," he called after her as she took off towards the door. Draco had turned into a near perfect companion, which shocked Ava in a variety of ways. She had stopped questioning it, however, and had learned to accept his new form- even if she was the only one who saw it. He still remained the same old Draco, especially when Potter and his entourage were around.

The hallways weren't very busy as it was right after lunch and most of the students were either in their common room or out on the grounds, enjoying their day off. Ava quickened her pace and made her way down to the potion lab in record time, bursting into the office as soon as she got there. Snape was seated behind the desk, leaning back in his chair slightly as though he had merely been waiting for her to arrive.

"Happy Halloween," she said with a devious smile as she struck a seductive pose in the doorway. She quickly continued walking and inevitably ended up climbing into Snape's lap. He immediately wrapped an arm around her waist and let the other one rest dangerously high up her thigh.

"Happy Halloween, my love," he said quietly as he nuzzled himself into her neck. Ava leaned into him gently and his grip on her tightened, pulling her close.

"I have something for you," she said with a smile, causing him to pull back slightly and look at her.

"Oh really?" he said, smirking. "And what's that?"

"Here," she said simply, pulling out a miniscule pouch from her pocket and enlarging it with her wand. She handed him the now fairly large jar for him to unwrap, which he did immediately. A smile crept across his face as he stared into the jar.

"Dragon's blood?" he asked quietly as he gently sloshed the rare red liquid around in the jar. "How did you… How did you get so much of it?"

"The Malfoy's aren't the only wealthy, pureblood family around," she said with a smile. "It was either this or a book, but I couldn't think of anything you would want that you didn't already have."

"Thank you," he said, setting the jar gently down on his desk before kissing her, "and now, for your gift."

"Severus, you didn't have to get me anything," she said as he turned the chair slightly and opened the bottom drawer of the desk. He pulled out a large envelope and handed it to her without saying a word. She stared at it briefly as a million ideas ran through her head as to what could possibly be inside.

"Open it," he finally said, squeezing her leg gently. Ava slid her finger under the flap and pulled out the contents. The November issue of 'The Alchemist's Gazette' rested in her hands and a page had already been marked with a slip of parchment. Ava glanced at Snape questioningly, but he simply nodded in response, urging her to open the magazine. Once open, Ava's eyes immediately stopped at the top of the page, where in big, bold letters it stated:

Pepper-Up Potion: New Method; Better Results
Produced by: Ava Coombs and Severus Snape

Ava stared blankly at it as the weight of it sank in. She read the heading over and over again, barely able to comprehend what he had done.

"You… You published this? You published it in here?" she stammered, looking back and forth between Snape and the magazine. "They liked it? They said it was good?"

"Of course," he said silkily as a smile curled the corners of his lips up. "It's bloody brilliant. Even the editor, Horance Fletcher, thought it was genius."

"He did?" she asked, now grinning broadly at him. "I can't believe it! Severus, this is amazing! This is probably the most incredible thing anyone has ever done for me. I just can't believe it was good enough to get published!" Snape held her tightly and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her passionately as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She ran her fingers through his hair, brushing it back and away from his face as she melted into him. "Severus," she murmured between kisses, "I love you." Snape immediately froze and pulled away gently, watching her for a moment before he spoke.

"Why would you say that?" he asked slowly, keeping his gaze locked on her. "You know the rules."

"You know why I said it. Besides, publishing our work isn't breaking the rules?" she demanded, instantly putting her guard up.

"That's different. It's not the same as saying something like that," he said, pushing her off his lap so that she crashed to the floor. After months of this treatment she was used to it and quickly scrambled to her feet. "It's just sex," he continued as he began pacing back and forth in the office.

"You mean to tell me that you don't love me?" she said, making a futile attempt to block his path, which he nearly ignored with the exception of shoving her out of the way.

"It's got nothing to do with that Ava," he said sharply.

"So you do love me then?"

"Stop it!" he yelled, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her against the wall. "Enough! Let it go Ava!" She hit the wall hard but, once again, was completely unfazed by it. Their 'meetings', as he liked to refer to them, had progressively gotten more and more violent as time progressed. However, lately they had leveled out somewhat. Ava had come to the conclusion that there was really nothing left to do without it resulting in any serious physical damage.

"Fine Severus, have it your way. We'll have meaningless sex all the time… Just like you want," she said sharply, causing him to finally stop in his tracks and look at her.

"It's not meaningless," he said with an eerie stillness to his voice as his eyes darkened. "Besides that, when I tell you to stop, you stop," he hissed, crossing over again to her quickly. Ava braced herself as he pushed her into the wall, pressing his body against hers until she was barely able to breathe. "I don't know what's gotten into you, my pet. I thought we had gotten past all of this? I thought you had finally found your balance with Malfoy and I."

"I thought I had too," she said softly, keeping her eyes locked on him. "If you want, I can tell you that I didn't mean it, but then I would be lying," she whimpered.

"Enough, you foolish girl! You don't know what you want. You're confusing your lust with some abstract emotion in an attempt to fulfill some sort of deranged fantasy you have. I don't know what you want me to tell you Ava, as I've already told you: I am not the man you want me to be, and I've given you plenty of reasons as to why. If you really were in love with me, you'd see that," he sneered as a lanky hand reached up and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. She was immediately pulled from the wall and dragged into his personal quarters. Once inside, Snape pushed her into the bedroom and onto the bed. She curled up onto it, folding her legs underneath her as he began to pace back and forth in front of her.

"You're wrong, Severus," she said meekly, furrowing her brow slightly as she waited for another outburst.

"Excuse me?" he said as he stopped in his tracks and turned his head slowly.

"You've never given me any good reason as to why you refuse to let yourself feel something for me," she said simply, despite his obvious irritation.

"I've given you plenty of reasons!" he roared as his hands went flailing about for emphasis.

"No you haven't. You gave me some bullshit excuse in a pathetic attempt to hide the fact that you're just too scared to admit that you feel the same way. You want me for yourself, don't you Severus?" she asked, watching him completely unfazed. "I think I should go," she said quickly, making an attempt to climb off the bed.

"What do you think you're doing?" he said loudly. Ava stared at him blankly from her spot on the bed, as his remark had halted her movements. A million thoughts ran through her mind, yet the overwhelming reality of his rejection, yet again, was sinking in. She had to get out and she had to do it fast. The last thing she needed was to show anymore signs of weakness in front of him.

"I'm going back to the common room. It appears neither one of us are having a very good day. Of course, I take full responsibility for this. I should have never told you how I felt," she said quietly as she rose from the bed.

"It's an illusion-," he began before being silenced by an unusually cold look from her.

"You have every right to stand there and tell me that my feelings aren't returned, just as you have every right to try and convince yourself that you don't feel the same way. What you don't have the right to do, however, is to stand there and tell me that my feelings aren't real. You may not agree with them, or even understand them, but don't you dare stand there and tell me that I'm wrong, or that I don't know what I'm feeling. I love you, Severus Snape, and for the first time in my life I feel like I belong somewhere and I do. I belong with you. If you're to stubborn and unwilling to see that, that's fine, but I am not going to wait around until you do. Goodbye Severus," she snapped, brushing past him quickly and heading into the classroom. On the outside she was cool and calm, almost emotionless. On the inside, however, she was a wreck. Her heart was pounding so loud she could hear it, and it felt as though any minute she would break out into hysterics. As she walked towards the dungeon corridors she silently begged him to come and stop her, to call her back and tell her how much he loved her.


It was supposed to be a happy day, or as happy of a day as Severus Snape could manage to make it. He had spent an almost infinite amount of work getting Ava's potion published, which was no easy feat as she was still a student. She was going to come in, tell him 'Happy Halloween,' and then throw her arms around him and tell him how wonderful he was for publishing her work. She was supposed to kiss him passionately and then he was going to carry her into the bedroom the way he longed to carry her-like she was his bride- and he was going to make love to her. Not sex… No, sex and love were two different things. For the first time he was going to show her how much she meant to him by treating her the way she deserved to be treated. That should have been enough, even though it could be viewed as the coward's way out. But, he had never been good at expressing himself verbally, so he had decided the best way to show her how much he cared about her and needed her was to literally show her…

But then she said it. She had to say those three little words that had caused him so many restless nights. Those three words, eight letters in all, that were so simple and sounded so beautiful coming from her lips. For a fleeting second his heart had skipped a beat and he had known what it felt like to be loved and appreciated and cared about. He had finally felt important to someone, and not just because he was their Head of House or professor. No, in that fleeting moment he saw in her eyes and felt in her touch that he was not only a professor, and one she found brilliant, but a kindred spirit and someone whose presence radiated into the very depths of her soul. He was loved, and it had been the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced in his life.

"Stupid bitch," he thought as he sank onto his now empty and cold feeling bed. Just moments before, she had been sitting in the exact same spot, and he had hoped he could talk some sense into her. His mind had raced furiously as he tried to come up with any reason to keep her from feeling that way about him. When their relationship, or whatever it was, had started, he had no intentions of pursuing it past anything other than physical encounters. It wasn't that he didn't fancy her, or find her stimulating in every possible way, but he was hardly deserving of her sex, let alone her love. Unfortunately, as time had worn on he found that he had simply come to adore her in every way possible. She was intelligent, beautiful, witty, sexy, submissive, alone, confident, and cynical, all in one nicely wrapped package. In all reality, if he had still believed in finding "one true person", she would have been it. Her seeming infallibility however, was exactly why he couldn't let himself feel anything resembling love for her. She was perfect and Severus Snape did not deserve perfect.

He had watched her walk from his quarters, through the office, and into the classroom. She had not looked back once, but as soon as she had entered the classroom he had ran over to his office door and peered through the crack in it, watching her walk away from him. He had felt pain many times before, but the feeling he had as he watched her leave was something entirely foreign to him. It felt as though someone had physically reached into his chest and was crushing his heart with their hand. It became apparent to him, as he stood there, exactly what people had always meant by using the phrase "broken heart." However, he found it to be the understatement of the century. Broken would have been welcomed at this point, as what he felt resembled something similar to someone squeezing the life out of him and had concluded it must be similar to a dementor's kiss.

Now he sat on the edge of his bed and stared blankly at the thick, wooden door that led from his quarters into his office. Part of him wanted to run out and find her and scream out to everyone in the castle that he cared about her and wanted her to be his… He still couldn't admit he loved her, not yet and possibly not ever. He didn't deserve it. Yet the only thing he wanted to do was to tell her he did, even though it was nowhere near logical for him to do so. Instead, he sat on the edge of his bed and watched the door intently as though she would come through it at any moment and tell him everything was going to be okay. His eyes began to burn fiercely and his breath became slightly quicker and deeper as he felt the pain of her exit consume him all too quickly. A pale hand reached up and quickly wiped his cheek off. He was glad no one was around, though even if there had been no one would believe them if they had told anyone they had seen the coldhearted Professor Snape cry.

"Get… your… pants… off… now…." Ava said through quick and heavy breaths. Draco smirked at her as he peered down from his position over her and she began unclothing him roughly, causing a mild look of surprise on his face.

"Geez, Ava, I've never seen you like this before," he said with a devious smile, leaning down to kiss her.

"No kissing," she said abruptly as she put a hand on his chest to halt him. "You just get those boxers of and fuck me now." Draco stopped all movement and stared at her with complete disbelief, as though he couldn't have possibly heard her right. "You heard me," she snapped, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down so she could kiss him roughly, "Get naked and fuck my brains out."

"Uh… I…Yeah… Okay…" he stammered out, pulling off the remainder of his clothes. Speechless and now naked, Draco pushed his way into her letting out a deep moan in the process. Within seconds he was pounding into her, causing her to bite at his shoulder to keep from screaming out in pleasure. It didn't take long for Ava to reach her peak, wrapping her legs tightly around him as she did, and as soon as she went Draco followed. He collapsed onto her, still naked and covered in sweat, and she traced over his back lightly with her finger tips. "What the hell was that all about?" he muttered. Ava smirked slightly and kissed him.

"Happy Halloween," she said quietly.

"I love you," Draco said. Ava immediately stopped her movements and subconsciously held her breath. She had wanted and needed to hear those words so badly, and she had longed to return them for so long… Just not to Draco. Life was playing a cruel trick on her and the familiar stinging of tears began pricking the corner of her eyes.




Finding them was easy. Of course, he had really been looking for Ava. He was done feeling sorry for himself and making excuse after excuse as to why he shouldn't be happy. She said she loved him and wanted to be with him… Maybe she wasn't lying. She didn't look like she was, nor did she act like it. In fact, he was quite certain she was nicer to him than anyone had ever been in his life. That alone was scary enough, but he was done being scared. Severus Snape would be unhappy no more, and was finally going to fall in love.

It only took a second for the two to make their way into the hallways, his hands pawing all over her. They were too preoccupied to notice him lurking in the shadows, watching them patiently and following them to their destination. He smirked as she led him to the Room of Requirement, an interesting and mildly genius choice in location. Making a mental note to bring her back here himself, he waited until they were inside the room and pressed his ear against the door. He should have busted the door down, given Draco a detention and taken Ava back to his office. If he had known what was coming, he would have. Instead, completely mesmerized and, for the first time, a little appalled at Draco having sex with her, he snuck into the room and stood in the shadows once again. He had gone completely unnoticed, though he had a clear view of the pair on the bed. It turned his stomach to see them like that, to see her like that, but for whatever reason he couldn't tear his eyes off her.

In one quick moment, her entire body tensed up and she moaned her pleasure into his skin as he followed suit. Snape's jaw tightened as he watched, though for whatever reason, he was finally able to close his eyes as she climaxed. Finally, the pair had relaxed with each other and he listened to her tell him "Happy Halloween." It had been her idea? Not his? Snape had always envisioned that sleeping with Draco was something completely devoid of passion and was definitely not something she would ever initiate. It appeared he had thought wrong though, as she very obviously had been the one who started this encounter…

And then the boy said it… He said the words that he, himself, had been too cowardly to say. He said the three little words that she had said to him earlier and the three words he had come to tell her. There was only one possible way things could get messed up, a way he had never even anticipated, and this was it. He watched silently as her entire body tensed up and his heart skipped as he silently begged her not to return it. There was a pause, and while it meant nothing to Draco, it meant everything to him. He knew what was going on in her head; she was cursing him right now, and hurting because she wanted so badly for Draco to disappear and for him to be in his place. Of course, he could make that happen… There would just be too many questions later and Lucius was an irritatingly prying man who would not let his son's death go unpunished.

"This is the part where you say it back," Draco's voice cracked. He was nervous and Snape was eating up every second of it. The smallest hint of a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth, waiting to see her response. He momentarily debated whether she was going to humiliate him, scream at him, tell him she was in love with someone else… Any of it was going to be beautiful as someone needed to knock Draco down a peg.

"I'm sorry Draco," she said breathlessly. She was crying and Draco was confused, leaving Snape to conclude she was going to tell him about their relationship. Perfect.

"Why are you crying?" Draco demanded, though he gently brushed a tear off her cheek. "This is supposed to be a happy thing."

"I know," she said with a half smile. Snape was unable to contain his excitement and was now grinning from ear to ear. "It's just… It's overwhelming, you know? I just love you so much and to hear you finally say it to me… It's amazing."

For the second time that day the pain was overwhelming. Snape slid down the stone wall, still hidden in the shadows of the room, and buried his face in his hands. He was too late. Everything he had built up in his mind, all the courage it had taken him to even try and find her, it was all for not. She loved Draco now and soon, Snape would be nothing but a bad memory to her. He didn't watch the pair get dressed, nor watch as they left. Once the door closed he did, however, manage to make his way over to the bed and lay down on it. Ava's scent still lingered on the sheets and pillow, causing the knife to sink even deeper in his chest. He buried his face in the pillow and inhaled her deeply before pulling the sheets up around him. A good part of him wanted to lay there until he withered away to nothing, which, he decided, was exactly what he was going to do. Inhaling deeply again, as he closed his eyes in an attempt to pretend she was still there, he let her scent linger as long as he could before exhaling again.

"I love you," he muttered into the pillow.