Disclaimer: I disclaim any imaginable rights on my part of owning Bella & Edward… o well.

Question: "…in the part where Ash introduces herself to Alice and Emmett, Emmett calls her Bella, and she says," It's Bells!" Why?"

Answer: Emmet was being his dummy, playful vampire-self. Asheni thought that he just got her last name wrong… her last name is "Bells." :-D

Reminder: THE WHOLE STORY IS IN EDWARD'S POV. If A LOT of the part is in italics then it's probably the past:-D

Yes. So I know that I said some "everyone" question would be answered in this chapter but it wasn't… not really… it's in the next chapter… maybe… I hope :-D

Chapter 8: The Loved & Hated Past

I could only see the red dress as the human walked to her seat. I felt the greatest urge to get up and rip it off her. I hated the fact that she was wearing it. I wanted to get up and hold her in my arms and protect her like I wish I could have done with Bella. I sat in my desk in English class seeing only that hateful red dress. My body was here but my mind was there… in the past where I loved and hated being. In my past, where she was alive yet where she had died.

"Alice." I answered my cell phone.

"Where are you?" she asked. I looked around. The city of Volterra was at my back and the forest in front of me. "I'm going hunting, Alice. I need to; I haven't for almost three weeks now. I haven't seen them anywhere around me or heard anything about us recently. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…"

"I don't know what to say…"

"Have you had more visions?"

"I know that we are safe, Edward. I don't see our deaths anymore but..."she stopped.

"Alice, just tell me."

"I still see Bella's death, Edward. I still see it. I don't know why you leaving changed the outcome of our deaths but it did… but it didn't change my vision of Bella. And you have to come back now, Edward. I don't know if there's much I can do to keep Bella sane anymore."

"I have to keep her safe," it was the only thing that mattered to me.

"At least talk to her then."

"What if that makes everything change? What if I somehow make it worse for her? What if that makes it so that all of you die again?"

"What if?! What if?! I hate "what if."

"I know," I sighed. "What will happen if I go back, Alice?"

"It's still the same, Edward. You stay there or you come back… it's still the same. Maybe you can keep her safer if you are here."

"Maybe?" I asked incredulously.

"I don't know everything! I try but I don't!" she yelled back.

"I'm sorry, Alice. This is just hard for me. Look, I will go back. Don't tell anyone yet, though, especially Bella. I want to sneak around and make sure that no one is following or stalking her."

"Will you call her at least? Please, Edward, call her. She's… Please call her." I closed my eyes, thinking of my beautiful angel. How I wished that I could see her.

"I will call you later. Bye Alice." I hung up before she could reply. I was angry that no matter what we tried doing, that hateful vision was still present!! I ran inside the forest looking for anything that could sate my anger and hunger. The vampires that the werewolf had seen in the forest had been the Volturri. Jane, Aro, Caius, Felix and another guard had all come to make sure that Bella had been transformed into a vampire. They went to visit Carlisle the night that Alice had had her vision.

I had not been present when they had come. By then we had made it seem as if Bella and I had left Forks. Alice had seen that even if I tried to turn Bella that night, her vision of Bella in the red dress wouldn't come true but everyone else's and Bella's death—as a vampire—still would. I could not understand why. It was the only thing that we could think of at the last minute, for me to leave. It was the only decision that hadn't brought all of our deaths. Bella had said that she would never forgive me if I didn't leave and protect her parents and my family. She did not care about her safety. I would stay away as long as I thought it was safer for Bella.

I left town to Volterra that night while Bella had convinced her mother with Alice's help that she needed to go to Phoenix that same night to look for her wedding dress. I was never sure how exactly they got Phil and Renee to drive that night to get to Phoenix. Girls will be girls, I guessed, when it came to weddings. I was sure that Phil had just been dragged along. They had told Renee and Charlie that since Bella was going to Phoenix, I had decided to check out the place where we were going to live. I wondered how they had taken the news that Bella and I weren't staying in Forks for long after the wedding. Not very good, I guessed. Charlie had not liked the idea.

Alice had heard from upstairs in Bella's room when Charlie had told Renee that he was scared that I would back out and leave Bella again. If I had done it once, what guarantee did he have that I wouldn't do it again? He had told Renee that he was sure that this time; Bella wouldn't be able to overcome it. He wouldn't know what to do with her if it happened again. When Alice had told me this, I knew that she had done so as a warning for me to come back for Bella. There had no need for the warning. I was planning to go back to her. I was, actually, going back very soon.

I had been at Volterra for three weeks and I had not heard anything that might mean that they were planning to go back to Forks anytime soon. The Volturri and their guard had only been at Forks for two days. They had not wanted to stay longer. Aro had not wanted to ruin what Carlisle had created in Forks; a home. He would have if I had broken what they had created in Volterra. I was glad that I hadn't. He respected Carlisle for accomplishing his "crazy vegetarian diet."

They had been in Volterra ever since. I had made sure that no one in the Volturri knew I was there. I had blended in with all the human tourists. I had done so for so long that the Volturri, who never bothered to, easily missed me. Felix had wanted to return for a while just to make sure. He had hated the fact that we had escaped without any harm done to us by him. But he soon forgot about us, as most vampires tend to do about trivial things. I was glad that he wasn't obsessed with us. He hated us but (I was glad) the hatred had not been overwhelming. Ever since Felix's last thoughts a few days ago I had not heard anything else pertaining to us. I wanted to go home to Bella.

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The next day I returned to Forks without telling anyone. The first thing that I did once I got there was to go to Charlie's. I wanted to see her, at least from a distance. I had caught the evening flight and made it to Charlie's house at night. I looked inside from the top of a tree in her backyard. I smiled crookedly as I saw my angel and love at the dinner table with Charlie. She was picking her food.

She's acting just like when he left the first time, I heard Charlie think. I will kill him if he doesn't return soon. I don't think he has even bothered to call her!!

He tried to get her to talk about anything… the wedding… she answered with one word syllables and quietly answered and shrugged when asked about the wedding. Guilt swept through me that I hadn't even phoned her. I had just wanted to make sure that the Volturri didn't accidentally hear me talking to Bella, especially if I was suppose to be with her already. I stared at both their sad faces; Bella for me and Charlie for her. Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I hated seeing her heartbroken face, so impulsively I called her. I saw her run up to get the phone. Charlie just looked after her.

"Hello?" she answered hopefully. I felt love blossom at the sound of her voice talking to me and not from a distant.

"I'm sorry." I blurted without thinking. I saw her eyes widened and a full fledge grin started to spread across her face but then stopped midway as she realized what I had said. I realized I had said the wrong thing.

"What?" she whispered.

"For not calling, Bella. I'm sorry for not calling you sooner."

"Uh huh." She pressed her lips together waiting. I knew that she wasn't breathing. I laughed softly.

"I'm coming back for you, Bella," I made sure that she knew. She stilled didn't seem to know how I just couldn't live without her for very long. The three weeks without her had been very painful. The grin spread fully this time across her beautiful face. I smiled as I saw it. I had missed her so much.

"I've missed you."

"Me, too, Edward, me, too," she sighed. I vaguely saw Charlie smile slightly, put his plate in the sink and leave. "Where are you?"

"I'm coming to you soon, Bella. Now, tell me what you have done lately." She grinned and began to tell me the details of all the torture Alice, Renee, Esme and even Rosalie had submitted her to for the wedding. She smiled the whole time she told me the plans for our wedding.

I remembered that night. She had looked full of life and hope for our future as I had sat looking and listening to her talk from the tree in her backyard. I should have been paying attention to my surroundings but I hadn't. My plan had been to make sure no one was around and to keep her safe. Her presence had overwhelmed me that night; to have her so near and hear her voice had made me forget why I had been hiding in the tree in the first place. I wished that I had seen it coming but I hadn't.

I had been staring non-stop at the human who reminded me so much of Bella throughout the whole class period. I realized that my staring had not gone unnoticed by her. Her cheeks were beet-red. I forced myself to look away and waited agonizingly for the class to be over. I was out before the teacher could finish dismissing us.

When I reached our table I sat and tried to keep myself from going back to the past. Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie soon joined me. Alice and Jasper sat next to me and the other two in front of us. They all talked about trivial things that I cared not about. I heard Alice softly gasp when she saw what the girl was wearing when she entered the cafeteria. Jasper followed her stare and glanced my way. Rosalie and Emmet turned to see and then both turned to look at me. I tensed and said nothing. I was very glad that I could completely block everyone around me. It had taken me centuries but I eventually learned how to block everyone's mind. I didn't want their pity or their memories cluttering my already tenuous mind. I had blocked everyone since my first day at school.

Suddenly, for the first time in many weeks, I wondered if she was like Bella in another way, as well. I took a deep breath and she was far enough that her smell only vaguely reached me. I mentally prepared myself and tried to read her thoughts. I slowly opened my mind and reached for her with my mind. An emotion overwhelmed me… one I didn't understand. Disbelief, relief (of all things!), anger, nervousness, hatred, longing and panic, all mixed together. Blank, her mind was blank. I couldn't read her mind. I did not know what I was seeing anymore. I could only see the human. The girl whose smell I couldn't resist, the girl who had the face of my lost love, the girl whose mind I couldn't read…

I had not wanted to go back but the past flooded around me and I drowned in it.