Kili was laughing in earnest now, and had to hold his side where the wound ached. "...This laughing...can't be good...for the healing, Balin." he choked out, trying to ignore the pain. Balin's eyebrows shot up, and a small frown appeared on his kindly face. "Sorry, laddie. But it is good to see that smile on ya."
Kili nodded, his smile fading somewhat, but feeling much lighter than he had before these few members of the company came to visit, bringing him food and ale as he hadn't seen since Beorn's house. There was Balin and Dwalin, telling him tales of squabbles among Dain's folk. Bofur and Ori, encouraging him to eat. Nori had made him really laugh when he told him how, through his sneaking and spying, he had somehow overheard Dain call Thranduil, to his face, a woodland sprite. "One day you'll have to tell me how you "overheard" the conversations of kings in private meetings, Nori." he smirked.
Nori shrugged his shoulders innocently, his arms crossed, and flashed a wicked grin. "A master doesn't reveal his secrets, my lad."
Kili laughed again, and winced. Balin and Dwalin were immedietely up and around him, offering water and looking at him like he was about to fall apart. He waved his arms at them. "You two are worse than a couple of old dwarrowdams, fussing over her child. I'm fine." he exclaimed.
Dwalin shook his head. "You're not off death's door a full twenty-four hours and you want to tell us not to worry! I'd slap you upside the head if I wasn't so sure it would knock you back to unconciousness, and I don't need to be sitting here any longer listening to you snoring and mumbling in your sleep, that's for sure."
Kili grumbled under his breath but held his tongue. He knew all the members of their company were hurting. They had lost friends. They had lost their king. He had to be gentle with them, let them fuss a little, if it helped. "Where are the others, anyway? Gloin and Oin, Bifur, Bombur, Dori?"
Bofur began, "Well, they all wanted to see you, my boy, but Oin advised not overwhelming you. A few at a time, as it were. Oin is being kept busy in the healing tents, actually seemin' to enjoy spending time with them elves, learning a bit, I'd say."
Balin continued, "Aye. And Bombur has been put to work in the kitchens, of course, in charge of keeping all these armies and refugees fed. 'Tis not a small task at hand. And I know I've seen Bifur here and there, tinkering with toys and making the children laugh."
Dwalin snorted. "And of course Dori's been holed up in Erebor, out of his wits with all the crafting rooms and gems. Word is he's trying to get them up and running, even now. And Gloin has been at Dain's side, assisting with the, well, the counting of things. There's a might bit of gold to be sorted and divied out, and you can bet that's what Thranduil, Bard and Dain have been discussing for hours on end."
Dwalin's face turned into a scowl when he said Dain's name, and Kili finally worked up the courage to ask the question that had been lingering at the back of his mind. As he picked at his plate, he asked carefully, being sure to make it sound like simple curiosity, "So Dain is performing well in his duties as King Under the Mountain?" he kept his eyes on his food, very deliberately taking small bites of the chicken, only glancing up a few heartbeats later.
Balin was looking nervous, and Dwalin's face turned red, his stance more frigid. Balin finally said, "He has been declared temporary King Under the Mountain, as your fate hung in the balance and there was work to be done. My boy..." he hesitated, glancing around the room and catching the eyes of the other dwarfs gathered around the table. He leaned in, his hand on the tabletop, gesturing as he spoke. "We know it will take time for you to heal. But your claim to the throne is stronger than Dain's, and there is talk in the camp of a sort of...referendum...to see whom the gathered peoples of Durin would call King." He looked Kili in the eyes then, emphasizing, "We all stand behind you, my boy. You have the blood of Durin's folk, and Thorin and Dis raised you well."
Kili gulped, his mouth suddenly dry. He didn't really know how to feel about this, and the idea of being King Under the Mountain wrenched at his heart - he had never thought to have to worry about this moment - surely Thorin would be King, and Fili his heir, to follow him? But that was all changed now, in one broad stroke of tragedy. His heart sunk, and he felt the creeping despair that had taken hold of him earlier. How could he do any of this alone?
Balin shifted in his chair when Kili said nothing. Then he spoke again, more lightly this time, no doubt in his wisdom guessing at what the boy must be feeling. "My lad, there is much that needs to be done before this matter is settled. You have time to...think on things. And we have time to come up with a plan. Nothing official will happen until our scattered peoples return to Erebor, and the repairs that have begun are well under way. Only then will the issue be brought before the Council. For now...there are other matters at hand."
Kili let out a soft sigh. At least there was time. But again the darkness weighed on him as he knew these other matters involved the funerals of his brother and his Uncle. He was suddenly cold, and not at all hungry anymore. He looked up at his brethren, glad of their love for him, but tiring all the same. He forced himself to smile up at the company. "Well...I am glad of Dain's eagerness to sit in meetings with elven kings and direct repairs. Sound like mighty exciting work, and I surely wouldn't have the energy for all that...talking." he smirked, and Dwalin and Bofur laughed.
"Aye!" Bofur cried. "I might need to pair up with Nori next time he's accidentally hearin' things he shouldn't, just to get a peek at how excited old Dain looks while poring over contracts and arguing with elves!"
"Would love to get a glimpse of those two old enemies playing at civility under these suffocating tents!" said Ori, smiling broadly. "Wonder how long into it before Dain starts in with that woodland sprite business." he said, seriously, his face dropping into a look of deep thought. The whole company burst out laughing at that, and Kili slapped the table with his hand, momentarily pulled out of his sadness again.
Suddenly he realized the laughter had ceased, and he looked over to see the company's eyes all at the head of the tent. Kili couldn't exactly turn himself around in the chair, so he said in exasperation, "Well, what is it? Someone here?"
Balin turned his head and looked at Kili like he felt sorry for him. "It's what appears to be a very angry she-elf, my boy, staring right at your back."
Kili's face dropped. She was going to kill him for getting himself out of bed! And laughing and joking around with the company - and drinking ale! He tried to think how he could hide that fact, but came up empty. He gulped, a look of helplessness on his face, and then the entire company laughed again, slapping his back as they passed him towards the exit of the tent, Bofur winking at him and Ori giving an apologetic smile.
Tauriel's voice was sharp and clear, but with a hint of teasing in it. She declared loudly, "Any dwarf who doesn't want to get their ears boxed would be wise to exit this healing tent -" she said the words slowly and deliberately - "right now."
Kili was shocked not to hear a word of objection, especially as an elf had just threatened a group of dwarven warriors, but then he remembered that things had changed quite a bit since the battle. The company in all likelihood held Tauriel in reverence for saving his life, and in any case their relations with the elves of the camp were much more civil since they had fought side by side against a common enemy. It was amazing how fast change can come in the world, he marvelled.
"Lass, be gentle with him." he heard Dwalin say before he exited. "We just got him fixed up, and I dunna want to see him broken again so soon."
Tauriel quickly replied, "I'll not be too harsh with him, but he will get a talking to about getting up and out of bed on his own. And ale! Now that I blame on you, Master Dwalin."
Dwalin turned red and huffed. "I...uh...well, I have important business...elsewhere." he stammered, and ducked out of the tent.
Kili nearly laughed again at hearing tough old Dwalin so flustered, but then he heard Tauriel coming up behind him and winced, fully expecting the light slap on the back of his head when it came.
"Hey!" Kili protested, his face in a grimace, even though Tauriel knew she hadn't hit him hard enough for it to hurt. He was putting on his charms for her, but that wasn't going to save him from this talking to, not when he put himself in danger so recklessly.
She stood in front of him, her hands on her hips, her lips tight as she practically growled at him. "What were you thinking!" she cried.
"It was good to get some proper food in me, you have to agree." he said, changing the subject.
"I'm not talking about the food, and you know it. The ale is hardly the thing you need for healing, but it shouldn't hurt you. The thing that bothers me is that I know you, and so I know that when you got out of that bed, you did it alone." she stopped and stared hard now, driving home her point. "You could have hurt yourself, made the wound worse, or broken something! What were you thinking!?"
Kili turned a light shade of red. She was getting to him, then, and her guess had been right. He shifted in the chair, clearly uncomfortable. "I just felt...shut in, is all. A bit...suffocating in here."
The miserable look on his face made her heart melt, and she softened and sighed. "You could do with a bath, and some fresh air."
He looked up hopefully, grinning at her. "Bath?" He had a mischevious look on his face.
She blushed. "I'll help you to the bathing tents. After that you're on your own." she said, pointedly.
He grinned. She came closer to him, and gently put her arm around him, sliding her's underneath his shoulder. "Slowly, now." she said, her breath close to his face, and she very aware of their closeness. She pushed her feelings down - her job was to keep him safe, and flirting with him wasn't going to help with that, not right now. "Keep your weight on your good leg as much as you can. There you go."
They were standing now, her back arched over so she could help him walk, stooped down to his height. They went a few steps, and didn't falter. "This isn't too bad." he breathed.
"No, we should make it to the tents in no time. Off we go."
They slowly made their way out of the tent, into the daylight outside. Kili blinked in the sunlight, surveying the camp as they walked, letting Tauriel guide him. So many tents, as far as the eye could see. And Erebor, so close, yet so far for him, up the hill. He could clearly see the gates, and dwarves, men and elves working there to repair them. Still a strange sight to his eyes, but a comforting one.
They headed towards a dark green tent with an elvish guard posted outside. Tauriel smiled at the guard. "Mae govannen, Ailenil. This is Prince Kili."
Kili nodded up at the guard, breathing a bit heavily. The pain in his side was starting to ache, and the idea of warm water awaiting him was making him anxious. He probably smelled of sweat and grime, and momentarily reddened at the thought of Tauriel laying next to him overnight - had she thought it off putting? He hadn't had a thought towards that before, but then again, he had a lot to process. His mind wandered as Tauriel said a few words to the guard, but then a shock of pain had him inhaling sharply, and it drew her attention. "I'm fine." he assured her, putting on one of his smiles, but she looked at him with worry.
"Let's get you inside." she said, leading him. The guard stepped out of their way, but Kili caught the way she stared at them as they entered the tent. He supposed he would have to get used to that - people of every race would find their closeness strange, even if they didn't know how the two felt about each other.
Inside the tent there was steam, and a large tub waiting. He paused, and Tauriel stiffened. "Shall I help you...undress?" she asked, nervously.
He sighed. He didn't want their first glimpses of each other to be like this, with him weak and helpless. There was a small stool next to the tub. He shook his head. "No...just help me up on that stool and I can maneuver from there." At her harsh look he said confidently, "I'll be careful. It will be easy to slide myself into the tub once I...well...once I get my trousers off." he blushed, feeling like a hapless young dwarf flirting for the first time.
She nodded reluctantly, and helped him onto the stool, which only took a moment. "I'll be right outside." she said, before reaching for his cheek and touching it tenderly. "I'll make you some tea, you'll need another draught or the pain will worsen. Then, there is somewhere I want to take you. Not too far off, but quiet."
He looked at her lovingly. She somehow knew he needed silence and solitude. Perhaps it was the bond she had spoken of, the way she could sense him. He smiled. "Thank you." he said, putting the weight of his heart behind the words. He reached over and touched the hand at his cheek, bringing it to his lips and kissing it tenderly. She smiled back at him and then turned around, exiting the way they had come.
It took him but a moment to loosen his trousers and wiggle his way out of them, catching them just before they slid to the floor. He laid them carefully on the edge of the tub, and then swung his legs around, letting them enter the warm water first. Carefully, using the little strength in his arms that he had, he lowered the rest of his body into the tub and sighed audibly, feeling all the aching muscles in his body relax and the spot where his wound lie, covered in layers of some kind of elven fabric, somehow soften, the pain lessening every second.
Twenty minutes later, Kili had unstopped the bottom of the tub, and let the water drain out slowly. He reached for the scrap of towel hanging on the side and dried himself, roughing up his hair and imagining what a mess he must look. But at least he didn't smell anymore, he thought, encouragingly. He reached for the trousers and slid them on, still sitting in the tub, and then called out for Tauriel. She was there within moments, and carried with her a pile of new clothes. "Here, put these on while I fetch your tea."
Just like that she was gone again, and he struggled to get changed in the large tub, pushing back feelings of embarassment for being so in need of her help. He knew he was lucky to be alive, and bit back the feelings of guilt and grief that always accompanied that thought. She was soon back with elven bandages and salves in her hands, and silently changed his dressing before he put on his shirt. He caught the way her eyes lingered on the muscles of his chest and arms, and smiled a bit, basking in the attraction between them and savoring her touch as she gently wrapped the bandages firmly in place.
She grinned at him, biting her lip in a way that stirred him. "Put on your shirt, already." she teased, and he shot her a mischevious grin as he obliged. She leaned in to help him up, and he struggled but finally got back to his feet, letting her help him but a little back onto the edge of the tub so he could lift himself back up to the stool. It was markedly easier this time around, and he knew the bath had been good for his muscles. Finally back on the chair, she thrust a mug of tea at him. "Drink." she ordered, and he took the tea and downed it swiftly, not wanting to wait for the pain to find him again. She left the cup on a small table in the corner, and then helped ease him down to the floor, and they walked as they did earlier, with her arm under his shoulder, and him carefully placing weight on his good leg and slowly shuffling along.
On their way out they both nodded to Ailenil, who smiled and nodded back at them as they passed her. Tauriel was leading them towards the mouth of the forest, and within minutes they were under the trees and in the shade, the sun peaking through the branches in little slivers of light. A moment later they were at a fallen tree, and she eased him down onto it, then took a seat next to him, close. He closed his eyes and lifted his head, basking in the warmth of those slivers of sunlight, feeling the breeze on his face. When he opened his eyes she was staring at him calmly, a languid smile on her face. She looked away shyly.
"This is a nice spot." he said, breaking the silence.
"Yes. Private, but not too far from your tent. You have to take this healing process slowly."
"I know." he whispered, feeling the weight of his sadness again on his heart. So many things reminded him of Thorin and Fili - his wound, Erebor, the trees, even Tauriel herself. They had been a part of every moment of his life - when would thoughts of them stop being accompanied by these waves of grief? When would he be able to think on them without feeling sorry for himself?
He felt Tauriel take his hand. He squeezed it. She gently rested her head on his shoulder, and he could feel her breath on his neck, felt the slight tickle of her silken hair against his skin. He closed his eyes. "You are the only reason I'm in one piece right now." he said, softly. She said nothing, but stroked his hand with her fingers. "My heart is so heavy, I feel weighted down with grief." he confessed. "There are so many things I'm supposed to do...so many decisions that have to be made...and I can barely think past getting through each and every moment. It is so hard..." his voice broke. He would not let himself cry again. He fought to hold the tears back behind his eyes.
"It is always hard to lose the ones we love." she said, softly. "I know this pain. This heavy darkness. The hollow ache will forever be there, but the weight is lessened, with each passing year. The ache further away."
He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the top of her's. The scent of flowers and honey drifted up at him. "Who did you lose?" he whispered.
"My parents." she said simply. "Many centuries ago. I was but an elfling."
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I never knew my Da. He died before I was born. Thorin was...he was the one who raised me, with my Ma. He, Ma and Fili were my whole life."
"But Fili was the most important."
It was not a question. She knew. Whether she could feel it in the bond they now shared, or simply observed it from her time with the brothers, made no difference. It was true. "Yes." he said, simply. There was nothing else to say.
"You are not alone in this." she said, firmly. "I will be with you, through all your hurts."
He sighed against her hair. "I know. That is what keeps me going, in the moments I feel like I am going to break from the pain, I see your face. The way you looked when you healed me in Lake Town. Crowned in a golden light. I'd never felt so at peace in my life, and I was dying at the time."
She smiled, and pulled her head up, looking at him. "No more almost dying, Kili. There are plenty of other ways to flirt with me."
He laughed, amazed at her ability to make him feel lighter, and turn a moment weighted with grief into one of joy. They stared at each other then, happiness written on both their faces. He leaned in close to her, feeling the pull between them, and whispered against her lips, "Aye, there are." Then he kissed her under the trees, the sun sparkling through the gaps of the forest like so many diamonds. She returned his kiss, and they stayed there in the woods for some time, trading kisses and talking, and never once parting their hands from one another. They had come so close to being forever pulled apart and separated, and now clung to one another, as if saying to the powers of the world, we will not be parted until the end of our days.
