One week. One whole, entire week and nothing. Absolutely nothing. No text messages. No phone calls. Nothing.
How dare he drop off the face of the earth like that!
For an entire week, I have waited for Leo to reply. I only asked if he was okay. And he gave me nothing.
I don't know his family life, and I especially don't know his father; the one thing I do know is that his father isn't someone Leo is fond of, if his evasion of the subject is any indication. I only know this: HE SHOULD HAVE ANSWERED MY TEXT.
When he didn't initially answer after one day, I considered texting him a second time, but thought better of it. I know he got the message. He's just choosing not to answer.
Maybe the father is home and Leo is unable to contact me. I have a sneaking suspicion that Leo is concerned his father will think he's gay if he so much as looks at a man. Fine. Reasonable. I can understand that.
But surely he could text me at night? When the father is asleep? What on earth could keep him from messaging me?
It doesn't help that we have this god forsaken project to finish. Granted, I don't really need him at this point. I just need to touch up my side and I'm done. But I'd think someone like Leo, studious and serious, would have at least messaged me about it. But nothing. Regardless, I proceeded with my end, and I am as good as done.
Sakura is making breakfast this morning, the day that school is back in session. Hinoka, long out of high school, is enjoying some tea as Sakura finishes up the rice. I sit down, slamming my phone on the table and sigh dramatically.
Hinoka chuckles. "Your boyfriend hasn't called, has he?"
Bile nearly rushes up my throat. "Hinoka, he's not my boyfriend!" Sakura winces at my loud voice. I hear Ryoma's booming laughter from inside his room.
"You don't have to get all defensive, Takumi. I just see that irritated look on your face and the constant checking of your phone. Anytime it beeps you jump, but then you look so disappointed." She winks. "Who is it you're waiting for? That Nohrian boy?"
"His name is Leo," I grumble. "We have a project and I'm sure our insane teacher wants it done today. And Leo hasn't texted or called me about it."
"Sounds pretty irresponsible. Nohrians." She rolls her eyes and mumbles. I try to defend him but she hushes me.
"I'm kidding. He's rough around the edges, but if you want to be his friend that badly, then he must be alright."
"He's a fool," I growl. "How dare he not answer."
Hinoka laughs. "Oh, Takumi." Sakura sets the table with food. "Eat up. Today you go back to school. Enjoy your last bit of freedom." She gets up, not even bothering to eat.
"Where are you going?" I ask. Sakura sits to eat.
"I'm meeting a friend for breakfast today. We're catching up." She grabs her jacket and skips out the door.
Some friend. Hinoka never skips. Must be a girl.
"You think it's some lover?" I ask Sakura. She blushes.
"I-I'm sure when she's ready, Hinoka will let us know," she mumbles. "Until then, we should be patient."
Ryoma enters, dressed for work. "Ah, Sakura, you've outdone yourself." He helps himself to some fish and rice. "Smells great."
"Thank you, brother."
"So. Back to school is it? Better not miss the bus. I know it comes soon." He checks his watch, and suddenly I hear the brakes of the bus. It's here earlier than usual.
"Shit," I mutter as I scarf everything down. I nearly choke, but I chug some tea and rush out the door, Sakura trailing behind. I hear Ryoma yell out, "Language!" but I'm too far this point to really take heed. Oops. I said a bad word. I'm not in the mood today to be reprimanded.
"Takumi! Slow down!" Sakura runs as fast as she can to catch up, but she was never much of a runner.
The doors open, and I wait for her and we enter the bus together.
Hinata and Oboro are already there, gesturing to the seat next to them. Sakura sits near the window, and I know she's waiting to see Subaki and Hana. We have yet to reach their neighborhood.
"So this weather huh!" Hinata laughs. "Glad it's over! I'm surprised we haven't lost anything!"
"My parents' tailoring shop received some damage," Oboro comments. "But it isn't anything too big. What about you, Takumi?" She blushes as she says my name.
I shrug. "The restaurant also had minimal damage, but everything overall is good." I compulsively check my phone. Maybe I should text him again.
"Something up?" Hinata asks.
"It's nothing," I answer, shoving the phone back in my pocket. "Just wondering about that project."
"I don't know, man, I really hope it isn't due today," Hinata gripes. "Me and Oboro have barely scratched the surface."
"Because you won't focus!" Oboro slaps Hinata's shoulder. "We'd be done sooner if you weren't such a slacker!"
"Hey, I'm no slacker! I've got basketball practice!"
"During the floods? Really? The court was destroyed and you know it."
Hinata has no comeback and just shrugs. "I mean, I got most of my side done."
"Most won't cut it! Who knows if the teacher will give us an extension? I doubt it. He's nuts."
"Got that right," I mutter. "But it doesn't matter. What's done is done."
"Such a defeatist attitude," Hinata mocks. "One must never lose faith. Everyone fails!"
"You sound too much like Azama Sensei," Oboro jokes. "You've got him down pat."
They continue to laugh and joke, and I can't help but sulk. I see Subaki and Hana enter the bus, and excitedly Sakura pushes past me to sit with them. She's so reserved but her quiet excitement is touching.
It makes me think of how Leo gets excited about school, how he seemed eager to learn of our culture, and how he talked about books with Sakura. The pure…passion he has for academics is really astounding.
"Man, you must have it bad," I hear Hinata say.
"What?" I snap back to reality.
"I don't know who it is, but some girl must really have a hold on you," he jokes.
"W-what?!" I splutter. "Who said anything about some girl?"
Oboro looks a little hopeful, but I see a slight look of dejection flash about her face. "She must be something," she says quietly.
"There isn't a girl! I was just thinking about school!"
"With that look?!" Hinata mimics my face. It looks pretty bad. Pretty mushy, like I'm positively smitten. He even bats his eyelashes at me.
"Yeah, man, that's the look of love. So who is she?"
"There's no girl, Hinata. I'm not interested in anyone right now." It's not like I really engage in conversation with anyone but them. I'm not much of a social butterfly.
He looks disappointed. "Come on, man, I know you have to like someone."
I shake my head. "I don't."
"Is it Hana? You were kinda looking her way…" He hints. I shake my head.
"What about one of Hinoka's friends? I know you mentioned one of them was kinda off…"
"Setsuna? No. She's definitely not my type." I can play around a little, sort of hint that there's some interest. I don't want them to know quite yet that I'm gay. "She's older than me. And besides, I'm pretty sure she's seeing Azama Sensei."
"What?!" Oboro yells. "How do you know?"
"I heard Hinoka say something about it on the phone once." I roll my eyes. "Can we drop this? There isn't a girl."
"So…is it a guy?" Hinata asks. "Because if that's what you're into, man, it's totally cool with me. Just like… I don't know, I don't see you that way, Takumi." Some friend, trying to take the no homo approach.
"That isn't it either, Hinata, but I guess it's good I have your support," I say dryly. "Seriously. There's no one."
"What about Oboro here?" He elbows her. "She's pretty cute, I guess." She blushes profusely and I can hear her swear under her breath.
"That's not funny, Hinata!" She slaps him. He just laughs.
"My god, I can't believe I'm friends with you two." I lean my head against the window. "Seriously. Just stop."
"You didn't say no!" Hinata cries out joyfully. "So is it Oboro?!"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP." I yell out. Suddenly the bus is quiet, staring at me intensely. I whisper hastily, "I swear on my mother's grave there isn't some girl." It's not a lie. There isn't a girl, but there isn't a boy either.
I swear there isn't a boy. I swear.
"Alright, man, chill. Just joking." Hinata shrugs away, a little intimidated by my brash behavior. "I guess you don't really hang out with anyone but us…"
"Didn't you hang out with that Leo guy? The one you hate?" Oboro ponders.
"It was hardly hanging out," I grouch. "We just worked on our project at his house. But it got flooded out so we went to my place."
"Oooooh, Takumi had a friend over," Hinata nudges me, ignoring the "flooded" part. Typical. His only focus is me. "You never invite people over. Only us."
I roll my eyes. "We're hardly friends, him and I. But I learned a lot about him I guess…" I shrug it off. "Maybe this project thing wasn't so bad."
"Are you saying you and he are friends now?" Oboro asks. "That's really unexpected."
"Well…" But the bus stops at the school. "We can discuss it later. We should head out." I rush out the bus.
"Oh come on! It was just getting good!" Hinata chases after me, Oboro tailing him.
"Later!" I've got to find Leo. I am so infuriated, I can see red. How dare he not answer, how dare he not even acknowledge me…
How dare he wear that shirt.
I'm utterly shocked at the sight I see. I suppose he must have gone shopping, because I don't recognize that shirt. It's a deep violet, hugging his form, and I can make out the lithe figure beneath it. It's accompanied with a black vest with a navy blue inside, and he's wearing tight, dark jeans. His hair is styled as usual, and he flicks a piece out of his face, gracefully.
I have to stop staring, because he looks directly my way.
He doesn't look too amused, and he's talking to his sister, who had dropped him off from her car. Figures. A rich boy like him doesn't need to ride the bus. Elise exits the car as well, in a knee length black dress with pink stitching. She's got the innocent schoolgirl look going for her, with knee high socks and loafers, hair in those giant pigtails. They look like the stereotypical affluent children, untouchable, unreachable.
I strive to be able to reach him.
I shake my head from those disgusting, confusing thoughts, and stomp my way over. I see Camilla wave at me, and then she's off, speeding away. Elise giggles and leaves, leaving me and Leo alone.
"Hello, Takumi," he greets calmly. He has a grim look on his face. I guess he expects what I'm about to say.
"Care to explain why you haven't texted me? It's not like we have some project that's supposed to be due today."
He looks confused, genuinely confused. "What…?" He pulls his phone out and checks. A look of horror hits his face.
"I completely forgot. You texted me while my father was talking to me… More like lecturing." He grimaces again. "I meant to answer you. It must have slipped my mind."
"Really?" I gripe. "That's your excuse?"
He sighs loudly. "Yes. Unlike you, I just lost my house. I've been busy helping with renovations. I finished my portion though." He pulls out his report. It looks hefty. "We can look over it together before the bell rings."
"That's all I ask." I pull my own out. It's just as impressive as Leo's. "I got mine done too."
"See? It's not so bad." I follow him to the cafeteria and we take a seat at one of the tables. I see Hinata and Oboro grab breakfast. "So anyway…" He has a mischievous look on his face. "I see you missed me."
"I did not." I deny terribly. He can see right through me already.
"Yes you did. Why else would you demand an answer from me? I'm surprised you didn't text me again." He looks at his phone, dejectedly. "I only ever talk to Niles and Odin, but they were busy with their own issues." He puts his phone back in his pocket. "I apologize for not answering. Forgive me?"
There's a cute little smile on his face, like he's teasing me, and it drives me insane. What sort of friend does that to a guy? Especially one so far in the closet he reeks of moth balls?
"I guess I can…" I look at our folders containing our reports. "Let's just go over this."
So we pour over the notes, the essays, even the flash cards we made for our speeches. His arguments are sound, as are mine.
"This will be interesting… The class ultimately decides the winner. It seems you and I rival each other well." Was that a compliment?
"Well… We really did work hard…" is all I can say. Hinata and Oboro show up, holding their breakfast.
"Mind if we interrupt this date?" Hinata jokes. Leo blushes, face red like a tomato, and I just clear my throat.
"It's not a date…? We're at school…?" I can only feign confusion.
"I'm kidding!" Hinata plops down into his seat, Oboro following suit, but more dignified. She takes a bite out of what looks like some sort of breakfast pizza, and Hinata guzzles down his chocolate milk.
"So you're Leo. Never thought old Takumi here would let you sit with us."
Leo chuckles dryly. "I sat here first. He invited himself." He gives me some sort of mysterious look. "He's the one that tagged along." Hinata just loved that.
"Hey, you're not so bad!" Hinata goes to give him a high five, and Leo, a little confused, returns the gesture. It didn't take him long to suddenly fit in with our group.
"Despite the hard time, we really look up to him, ya know?" Hinata says through a full mouth of a donut. "Take good care of him."
"As opposed to bad care? I didn't realize you were giving him away for marriage. I have yet to prepare a dowry."
I'm astonished. "Did you really say that? Did you just make a joke?"
Hinata is having what looks like a stroke, laughing at our interaction, and even Oboro herself is giggling, and Leo simply looks at me, down his nose, and states, "I'm more than capable of making a joke, Takumi. I may be bookish, but I have a sense of humor, albeit a dry one."
"Gods, you're annoying," I mumble. I steal a bite from Oboro's food, watching her blush. I wish she'd come out with it. I don't want to embarrass her. Having a crush on a friend is normal, I guess.
And that leads me straight to Leo.
Leo is not like a normal friend. He doesn't follow me around devotedly like Oboro does, and he doesn't try to emulate me like Hinata does. Despite the teasing, Hinata does idolize me. I saw him mimicking my way with a bow once, and his and Oboro's hair nearly matches mine in style. I know they're both…a little too fond of me. It's not insulting, but sometimes it feels like they have no sense of self, feeling the need to emulate someone they believe to be cooler… I'm not though. I'm just…me.
Leo though… He stays true to himself, and he doesn't try to be me. He responds using his own words, not ashamed of anything he has to say, and really he does little to embarrass himself (besides the crumb incident.) He challenges me in ways I didn't think another person could. In short, he fascinates me.
So maybe I've got some sort of friend crush on him. I can't help but admire his strengths, but I'll always pick at his weaknesses.
The bell rings and I'm forced to depart from Hinata and Oboro. Leo follows me, as we both have the same first period: Literature.
The class itself is fairly easy. Writing essays, reading novels that neither of us are truly interested in. Occasionally a pun is had. For once, Literature is endurable, because now, instead of having no friends in that class, I have one friend.
The class itself is small, and being so we don't have assigned seats. Granted, everyone sort of "assigned" their own seats at the beginning of the year, so Leo sitting next to me today threw off everyone's equilibrium, causing gravity to shift, and the rug was pulled out from our feet. It's funny, honestly.
Our teacher, Orochi, notices this change, gives us a funny look, but she simpers and pulls out her lesson plan and begins her class as she always does. She goes on, embellishing as much as she can, though truth rings in her words. Orochi has always been an interesting teacher, and I know her outside of school: she was my mother's best friend.
I had always been fond of Auntie Orochi, as I called her when I was little. Now, it's simply Orochi, and she chides me when I call her as such. "Oh, my little Takumi," she'd coo, "Why don't you call me Auntie anymore?" She'd pout, lament some more, and the minute my temper would rise she would laugh in that boisterous way of hers and be done with it.
Eventually, when the lesson part is over, we're left to our own devices, working on whatever we need to for the day. Orochi was a fan of self-teaching, and often she'd hand out some papers or books and with the main lesson in mind, let us have at it. By not pressuring us to learn, we actually tend to learn more, even if it seems like a blow off class. It really isn't.
For once, instead of being solitary, I have a partner, and we look over whatever lesson Orochi has for us. Something about literary devices, but my mind can't seem to concentrate on anything but the boy next to me.
"So this author is rather fond of analogy and allegory," Leo mutters, highlighting various symbols and metaphors and the like in his own copy. "Takumi, are you even listening?"
"Yeah yeah, he liked making religious allusions, I got it." I sigh heavily. "You ever get tired of this class?"
Leo gives me a perplexed look. "I thought you took school seriously?"
"I do, dummy, but sometimes this stuff seems so… unnecessary. Like, not everyone needs to know what an anaphora is to make it in life."
"That's oddly specific," Leo states. "Did you notice an anaphora in your life and now you're mad because you know what it is?"
"No, that's not it at all. I was just using an example."
"Isn't that in itself a sort of symbol?" He jokes.
"Do you ever not think about school?"
He sets his jaw, shrugging in an unpleased way. "I don't really have a choice. Without my grades, I'm just in my older siblings' shadows."
"…oh." I know the feeling.
Ryoma is the oldest. Ok. Cool. Hinoka was born shortly after him. Fantastic. Kamui was taken in, not meant to be with us forever, but unforeseen circumstances led my family to adopting him. Ok that's fine. Then I was born, and it just feels… Like I'm some sort of afterthought. Sakura is the youngest, but being so means everyone has to give her more attention, so everyone is raising her. Me? I feel like I raised myself, like I had to constantly be in my oldest brother's shadow, while my oldest sister doted on my other older brother. It's frustrating, because I feel like I can never reach past that great shadow.
So I too hit the books, and where my oldest brother is an accomplished swordsman (he did swordplay as a serious hobby before taking over the restaurant), I decided at a young age I would be an archer. And I'd like to think I'm good too, but I feel like my bow has more talent than me. It's rather degrading, now that I think about it.
And it's not like I was ever bad at the sword; Ryoma always told me I was good, but he was so much better that I couldn't help but be discouraged, which is what really led me to the bow.
"You've gone silent. Was it something I said?" Leo asks, a little concerned. He's still reading though.
"No, you just reminded me of something."
"Oh?" He lifts his eyes from the book, but his head stays in place. "Do tell."
"I know how you feel, I guess. I've got older siblings too, you know."
"I know. I met them."
"You know what I mean!" I say, flustered. "It's annoying, being the middle kid."
"I must agree, but we must deal with the cards we've been dealt, lest we suffer more."
I stare at him, astonished by how seriously he says things. "Can you not have, like, a stick up your ass for once?"
He glares. "I don't. You do."
"Ugh, whatever," I roll my eyes and click my tongue. "So anyway, back to this stupid book…"
The bell rings, but Orochi holds me back, letting Leo go. He nods his goodbye, knowing he'll see me in our next class, History at the end of the day, and walks off.
"What's going on, little Takumi?" Orochi asks, so sweet that I know there's a catch. Orochi is never truly sweet. Nice woman, but not sweet.
"I don't know what you mean. Aside from my mom dying not too long ago? Nothing," I answer, a little too gruff for her taste apparently. She makes a face that says "don't sass me boy" but sighs.
"I'm talking about your new friend. Leo. Something going on?"
"Why?" I'm confused.
"The year may still be fairly new, but I know you Takumi. You were never meant to be friends with that boy, yet here you are. Befriending him. What happened?"
Of course my mom's friend would butt in. Ever since Mother died Orochi pays untimely visits and makes untimely calls to check in. Like Hinoka and Ryoma aren't capable. It's annoying and unneeded.
I don't know what she means by "never meant to be friends", but I shrug it off. Maybe she thinks it's a racial thing, me being Hoshidan and he Nohrian. It's…not uncommon, for Nohrians and Hoshidans to not be friendly, making our friendship something peculiar, but that's neither here nor there. "We have a history project together and I guess it made us friends? I don't know. He's cool I guess." I try to play it off, but Orochi sees right through me.
"Don't lie to me, Takumi. I've been a teacher for ten years now and I've known you all your life. This is very unusual, and as your unofficial aunt, I'd like to know."
"Doesn't this break some sort of school code? I, the student, don't have to disclose info to you, the teacher, and you, the teacher, aren't allowed to pry." I deflect from her question. I really don't think it's her business, no matter how long I've known her.
"Sure, maybe there's a rule like that, but it doesn't say anywhere about your mom's best friend figuring out her son has a crush." She winks. "I've been around the block a few times, Takumi. I know."
My face heats up and I feel the red blush coming. "Orochi, I don't want to talk about that right now. It's not true anyway." I cross my arms. The warning bell rings. "Shit, I'm gonna be late!" I try to turn, my satchel hitting my leg, but Orochi clears her throat. I turn to see her writing an excuse note.
"Don't worry so much, Takumi. I'll be by for dinner tonight. I'll let Ryoma know. I need to have a chat with you."
"Whatever, Orochi." I snatch the note and run off, knowing I'm going to be really late this time.
The end of the day is finally here, and I'm exhausted. I share a PE class with Hinata and Oboro, and the unit we were currently going through was basketball, which is Hinata's forte. Our team dominated the drills, and it was a nice distraction from Orochi's prying.
Senior Astronomy was interesting, as we went over some Hoshidan constellations. I already knew of them (Orochi was always fascinated by the stars, and while she did delve more into astrology, she knew a lot of the science behind stargazing, so she always tried to teach us) so that period wasn't difficult.
My other classes, Calculus, Art History, and Government, went by uneventfully. Math is math. The teacher goes into the lesson, you do the problems in the book, and then you discover how good at math you actually are. Most of the other students groaned because this unit (limits) seemed to have everyone confused. I never really struggled that much with math, so I wasn't fazed by the unit, so seeing some struggle with it was a little amusing. Art History is one of the most entertaining electives I've ever taken, as Izana is quite flamboyant, prone to histrionics, and uses dialect I've never really heard before. It's like he's trying to fit in with the "young people" but is failing in the most bombastic way. And then Government… Sir Gunter (as he liked to be called) is a very strict teacher, but he genuinely wants us to succeed, so if one of us is struggling, he willingly tutors them outside of school until they get it. I mean, it's sort of his job to ensure our understanding, but it seems like he goes above and beyond. He may be stern, but he's passionate about his job.
And lastly, there's History, taught by Azama Sensei, shared with Leo, Hinata, and Oboro. He is one of Hinoka's friends, so I've often seen him outside of class, and I can assure you nothing about him changes professionally or personally. He's acerbic, has a mild temper, and isn't afraid to use sarcasm or wit to shame students from not understanding. In a way, it helps us understand more, as it makes us think harder about what he's saying. He teaches Philosophy at the local college in the evenings, so you'd think he'd be exhausted all the time and that's why he's grumpy, but I've known him long enough to know that isn't the case. He's always a jackass.
"Ahhh, my favorite student is here," he greets in his own way. He isn't afraid to state he has favorites, and I'm one of them, apparently, because I'm his friend's little brother. It's a really bad reason to like a student, but I admit I don't understand Azama's thought process.
Ironically, he hates Leo. Azama has always had…racial preferences, and being Hoshidan, an outcast his whole life not only racially but even within his own community due to his personality, he tends to be quite the, for lack of a better term, asshole. If you had asked me earlier this year if I supported his outright dislike of my once-enemy, I'd have declared my support. But now… It's wrong. Leo isn't a bad guy.
Leo knows this, and he struggles with Azama, as they always have debates on different historical conflicts. Azama tends to switch sides, often confusing the class, yet raising points on how both could be right. It infuriates Leo, who is sometimes so single minded, and the two often squabble.
Despite Azama's own personal preferences, he certainly never chooses one side when it comes to history. But I know him well enough to know he will always be distrustful of Nohrians.
I know today will be interesting, as Azama has announced that despite the bad weather, he expects us all to present today, time permitting. A collective groan of misery is heard throughout the room, and all Azama can say is, "You've had more than enough time. Two weeks! There is not one excuse you can give me, even if your house was utterly destroyed by this monsoon." I think monsoon is a little dramatic, but Azama is prone to that too. He's absurd.
But how he says it… About a house being destroyed… It makes me wonder if he knows of Leo's situation. Then I see the direct glance at Leo. We're sitting next to each other, so it's hard to ignore, and I see Leo smirk and pull out his folder. Pages and pages of research and outlines can be seen through the cover sheet. Azama sighs and shakes his head. I suppose he felt like Leo would have finally failed.
Azama doesn't fail people based on his dislike of them though. He's fair enough in that. He just hates that Leo is too smart for him to truly hate, or something. I wonder how he knew Leo was the one with the destroyed house.
But then I remember he's Hinoka's friend, and she must have said something about it.
Azama starts the class off by reiterating what the project is about and giving a brief example using the more recent events in history involving Ylisse and Plegia. He raises the question of Ylisse never sharing their resources, excluding Plegia for unknown reasons, despite the idea it may have been due to race. He then says that despite the rebuff, Plegia abused its own wealth by eventually getting Valm involved in the war and their radical religion set the country aflame. No side, he claims, was truly right. But Leo naturally makes a comment under his breath about how Ylisse simply wanted to keep the peace, that Plegia instigated it when they finally took a nobleman's daughter hostage.
"Hmm, was that a rebuttal I heard, Mr. Leo?" Azama uses formal titles when addressing the students, even though it's meant to patronize them.
"Oh, never, sir. It must have been the wind." Leo stays stone-faced and Azama seems a little put off by the passive stance. Leo spoke up usually. Today, it seems, he wants to stay quiet.
Azama harrumphs and finishes his spiel and then asks for any volunteers to start the show, as he said. Leo immediately raises his hand.
I groan. I hated going first. It sets a precedent and then someone exceeds it. I hate being the standard, because someone always surpasses me. I just want to go in peace.
"Ah, your partner seems put off by your eagerness, Mr. Leo. Let's hope both of you are prepared." Azama sits, putting on glasses and placing a clipboard with notes on his lap, pen behind his ear. He pulls out a timer, and I'm reminded it's timed. Even if one of us was forced to stop when time went up, the "winner" was still ultimately determined, so being timed was to ensure everyone had a fair amount of time to share, and not to cause a disadvantage between partners.
Leo stands up, heading to the front of the class. I grumble, grabbing my things from my bag and follow suit. I stand next to him, nodding that he can go first. I still have to process that I'm actually standing here, next to him.
I don't feel prepared to be honest. I didn't really prepare myself or practice for the debate part, and public speaking isn't one of my skills. Leo is far more eloquent in these matters, when I just let my emotions get the better of me and end up lashing out. I can't do that here. Azama might favor me, but I know he'd give me points off. And since this is a collective grade between us, I really don't want to set Leo off by getting a less-than-perfect score.
"For the project," Leo began, "Takumi and I chose the war that happened in Elibe, set six hundred years ago. A war that tore the nation apart, as Bern used its military might to take over Ilia and Sacae, turning its sights to Lycia." Leo had taken Bern's side, and went into the advantage Bern had over the other nations, the idea of gaining more wealth and power, and spreading its influence to the other nations.
Of course, the entire continent of Elibe was at war with one of its own nations, so while I am technically on the entirety of Elibe's side, I chose to focus more on Pherae and Ostia.
"If Bern truly wanted to spread its influence, it could have done so in many different ways," I argue. "Military might may take over countries unwillingly, but it only causes rebellion and for the other, stronger nations to fight back."
"But rebellions are like seeds," Leo argues back. "One must salt the earth to ensure they never sprout." How he says that is eerie, and I know him well enough at this point that it can't possibly be an original thought of his. He heard that somewhere. "And Bern had enough power to easily gain control of Ilia and Sacae."
"Yes, but the Lycian alliance, consisting of Pherae and Ostia, was a force to be reckoned with, as the army was led by Prince Roy, studying tactics and strategy in Ostia, taking over in his father's place, and ultimately winning the war. Some military might Bern has for being taken by an inexperienced boy."
Leo argues that in its own way, Bern had succeeded, as it caused absolute chaos, and it took years after Roy's eventual reign to place the continent back in order. That in itself was a small victory for Bern, and really, would being under the control of the military be such a bad thing? It ensured protection from other nations hoping to invade, and ultimately would lead to peace.
My argument is that there would never be peace in a nation destroyed by war. Leo disagrees, citing other instances in history where peace could only be obtained by squashing the nations that had started the war, which had sprouted from the ground, relating back to his previous metaphor.
"Yes," I say, "but truly, attacking countries that had plenty of resources already that shared them with other nations… Wouldn't you agree that it was completely selfish and arrogant to instigate a conflict simply to cause harm? And you just said that squashing nations that started wars led to peace, which is exactly what Pherae did to Bern." There was a pause as that set in, but Leo repeated himself, stating that sometimes things had to come to conflict in order to be better understood, and at that point I had no comeback. His resolve seemed weakened though, and I took that as a small victory.
The timer goes off at this point, and I'm certainly relieved. Had Leo come back to retort, I would have run out of arguments. Azama claps, seemingly impressed. I grab my things, hand them off to the teacher, and sit down. I feel my hands shaking.
Leo sits down, gracefully, and nods his approval. "Not bad, Takumi," he congratulates me. "I was almost concerned there." He's teasing me, and I feel my face go red and I turn away from him.
Azama addresses the class, relating back to points we made, correcting any fallacies (there weren't any) and finally asks who won. He points to Leo, a fake grin plastered on his face, and at least half the class raised their hands. He pointed to me, and the other half raised theirs Hinata and Oboro being overzealous in their support. He counted each side, writing our names on the board, chalk screeching, tallying up votes.
We tied. We. Tied.
I'm surprised to say the least. Leo seemed much more assured up there and I felt vulnerable and weak. To see that half the class had my back… It was mollifying.
Leo doesn't look too pleased, but he says nothing.
Considering we are the two least popular students in the class, if not the school, it's gratifying to see that the other students who disliked us so much almost started their own war. Actual debates happened, students claiming that Bern had the right to take over, others arguing that the other nations didn't even do anything to deserve the war. Azama quiets everyone down, laughing at the utter passion each student has for their side. It was unprecedented, especially in a class that most would, stereotypically, declare was boring.
Leo and I stare at each other, at a loss.
Azama decides to put his two cents in. "I greatly admire the utter fervor each of you has for this. Truly, I'm aghast. I didn't expect this. Mostly because some of you are so busy texting on your phones to pay attention that I almost want to give up teaching and hole myself up in a remote forest, living under a waterfall."
Everyone gives him an odd look, wondering about the sanity of this teacher, but he lets out a loud laugh, states he's kidding, and decides he'll take this seriously.
"I'm rather impressed with both of you boys. There really isn't much I can critique on. I expected one of you to cave and lash out on their opponent," a pointed look is given to me, "and the other to retaliate with nasty words," he glares at Leo, "but instead a healthy argument was had! This isn't even a public speaking course, and truly you two kept your composure and did your respective assignments right. I'm…almost proud." He fakes wiping a tear. "So, as neither one of your peers can seem to agree on who was right, I must weigh in.
"To say that Bern had military might is an understatement. They were devastatingly powerful, and none of the other nations had a chance. For Pherae, who was known to have a fairly good army, especially after the conflict with Nergal, to come out of the woodwork and use the crown prince, rather than their own Marquess, to lead the army was unprecedented at the time. And for this boy to win, well, it's truly amazing.
"That being said, for Bern to abuse their power as they did was an action that I, as your teacher, don't approve of. However, I am a teacher of history, not of ethics, so I must hold my tongue in that regard.
"Bern wanted to spread influence, as Mr. Leo stated, especially the influence of destruction, and that's mildly putting it. Bern simply wanted to conquer all, even if they had to destroy the others.
"As we will learn through the course of the year, each smaller nation of Elibe had certain strengths and weaknesses. Etruria, for instance, was a leader in the arts. Sacae was home to nomads, those living off the land, not doing any true harm to anyone. Ostia was the place to study. Pherae was simply a country that led by example, fighting for what they believed was the greater good.
"The point of this assignment isn't to choose which side was right, as really, life is not black and white. The point is to see how each of you can come to understand one side, and work with your partner to understand the other. In short, the point of this assignment was to promote the idea of unity. Each nation you studied was at war with another at some point. Had they learned to approach things peacefully, instead of fighting, perhaps there would be no wars to study. However, humans are prone to folly, and while we all may have our prejudices and preferences, it is possible to learn to live together peacefully." He smiles in a way that betrays his true feelings.
"Or you could just live as you want, fight who you want, and pay no heed to me, as I know you will. Life is absolutely absurd, and to focus on what we deem as good or bad is utterly pointless, as life ends either way." A morbid observation, but I suppose Azama isn't wrong.
"Now that I have given my spiel, I must pick the next group. Good job, boys, by the way. You'll receive your grade tomorrow." Azama sits down, asking for more volunteers. No one raises their hand, as they all look too sheepish to go after what I guess they think was a spectacular event, one that no one could one up, so Azama starts picking people based on who looks the most frightened.
Everyone manages to get their allotted time in, and when the bell rings, a collective sigh of relief is given. Honestly, this was the most stressful project I had ever done, and for it to be finally over sends a wave of relief down my spine. I rise, grabbing my bag, and head out the door.
Leo tails me. He looks like he wants to say something, and I decide to acknowledge it.
"If you've got something to say, then say it."
He purses his lips, looking a little unsure. "You looked nervous there for a bit. Care to explain?"
"I'm just no good with public speaking. It's not something I enjoy doing. It's bad enough when we have family meetings Ryoma makes me speak up, and I hate it. No one listens to me, it feels like."
"I doubt that. Your family loves you. I can see it."
I turn, a little perturbed. "Then how do you feel?"
He pauses, pondering my words. "When we have meetings, I try not to speak at all. I just get ignored anyway. We had one recently though, and it…didn't go very well." He sighs heavily. "I think my father suspects me…"
Oh. Oh.
"What did he say?"
"He just called me odd and expressed what is supposed to be concern over how I show no interest in nothing but my studies. He's not upset over that, but he finds it peculiar. Says I'm hiding something." He shrugs, shoulders slumping. "He's not wrong."
"And I guess it doesn't help that your siblings suspect it."
"No. It doesn't." He rolls his eyes. "I wish they'd let it alone. I don't see what the big deal is. It's my life, and if I want to hide, if I want to study, if I want to just be me, then I should be allowed to do it."
I look at him, concerned. I'm heading towards the busses, and he is following, probably not realizing where I'm going. "Maybe they're worried you're not being yourself at all."
"Explain." He makes a gesture at me.
"If you're not in the open, then you're not being yourself. You're hiding, pretending to be something you're not. And in your case…"
"Don't say it," he says cuttingly. "I understand what you're saying. But I can't let them know. My father… is not a good man. He would do awful things to me, kick me out, hurt me…"
"Then leave." He has money, and even if the father cut him off, I know his sister would support him. But maybe what I said was too insensitive.
"It's not that simple." He finally notices where he is. "Oh, you ride the bus."
"Yeah. You better go." He nods and turns, but then I grab his shoulder. "Stop by for dinner tonight. I'm sure my family would like to see you again." I don't know why I said that. It almost looks like I'm interested in him. Which I'm not.
"Why?" He looks confused.
"Why I'm inviting you, or why they'd want to see you?"
"Both."
"Well… We're friends, as much as we'd like to deny, and I think my family wants to get to know you better. I don't know why."
"They think we're together." He avoids using boyfriend. I guess he doesn't want to be overheard.
"Yeah… But maybe you being there, denying that notion, will finally get them off my back."
"I'll consider it. I'll let you know." He turns away for real this time. "I need to go. Bye Takumi."
"Bye Leo." I wave, but he doesn't see it, and I catch my hand, wondering why I'm being so sentimental.
