"I have to go," he said as he stood up.
"She's terrified, Dean...Be careful," Sam said softly to his brother. He knew exactly what he had meant. Even though he would have much rather Dean wait until the next day he could see the anguish in his eyes. Dean just nodded and flew to the Impala. He sped towards Holly's apartment not entirely sure if that's where she would be but it was the best place to start. He couldn't imagine she would have gone to the bunker. Several times he almost caused accidents but eventually he cut the ignition and ran into the apartment building. He took the stairs two at a time and arrived at Holly's door. He steadied himself with a few deep breaths before knocking, counting the seconds until he heard Holly walk to the door.
"Who is it?" Holly asked, her voice was shaky.
"It's me," Dean said softly as he placed his hand on the door. There was a rustling and then he heard the lock unlatch. He took a step back and waited. Holly opened the door and Dean raised his hands instantly. Holly was holding a blade and it was pointed squarely at Dean. He noticed the blade almost immediately, he had given it to Holly only a few months ago, made her promise she would look after herself and that was exactly what she was doing.
"Don't come near me," Holly spat but the tears had already begun to fall onto her cheeks. Dean didn't move, he didn't speak. He watched her take a step back then she ran from the apartment, slipping between him and the wall.
Dean glanced into Holly's apartment, only for a seconds but it was long enough to note that her car keys were still on the side table. He ran down the two flights of stairs, again taking two at a time. When he emerged into the raining night he spotted Holly fleeing down the street. His heart was aching as he recalled the fear in her eyes. He had never wanted to hurt her, her never want to frighten her and yet in a small amount of time he had done both of those things. He's destroyed the one thing he loved and he wasn't sure how to deal with that. His legs carried him faster than he'd ever gone before, he had to make things right. Dean watched as she sprinted around the corner and into the park. He noticed that the knife was no longer in her hands and he hoped she had dropped it, he didn't particularly feel like been stabbed tonight, he was already in pain. In a few long strides he was behind Holly. He reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Get away from me!" she screamed.
"Please, Holly, just listen to me..." Dean pleaded. Holly was fighting with all of her strength to get out of Dean's grip, and he thought she just might accomplish it. Dean couldn't describe the feeling in his chest, it was something like fear, heartache and total destruction all mixed into one. It was unbearable. He let go of Holly's arm and watched as she took several steps backwards. He braced himself for her to run and told himself he would not go after her again if she did. The fear in her eyes was now enough to tell him that he needed to back off.
"I thought you loved me," Holly growled.
"I do...It wasn't me back there..." Dean answered, although he knew it was a lie. He thrust his right arm out and pointed to what Holly thought was just a scar. "It was the Mark..."
"What the fuck is that?" Holly retorted.
"It's...It's hard to explain..." Dean sighed. "Please, let's just go inside and I will tell you everything,"
"No! I'm not going anywhere with you...How do I know I can trust you?" Holly asked. She was trying to keep her voice strong but it was wavering. The street light not far from them was dim and didn't help much but it was enough light that Holly could see the pain on Dean's face. She watched as he struggled with himself to find the right words, the words that might just bring her back to him.
"I..." Dean stopped, looked into Holly's sad, hazel eyes and then took a deep breath. "Because I love you."
"Do you?" she challenged. Dean didn't speak. He didn't move. He knew that he loved Holly, he had to figure out a way to prove that to her. He wracked his mind for the answer, hoping that he would find it soon. He wanted her to understand everything. He needed her to love him and right now it seemed that she was heartbroken and had dismissed anything to do with the love. He didn't blame her though, he knew what he had done was the perfect recipe to end things between them.
"You're here," all of a sudden he knew what he had to say. "If I didn't love you then tell me why you're here? If I didn't fight the demon then you wouldn't be here,"
"Show me your tattoo!" Holly demanded. Dean knew why she wanted to see it, he knew that she wouldn't understand.
"It's there," Dean sighed but still pulled the neck of his shirt down. Holly's breath hitched, she could see the tattoo still there on his chest. Warily she stepped closer. Her hands were shaking as she reached out and gingerly ran her fingers across the embedded ink. She couldn't deny that that tattoo was there. It took a moment for everything to sink in. She recalled Dean's words before he sent her back to her apartment, she thought about the specific wording that Sam had used on the phone.
"H...how?" she stammered.
"The Mark of Cain," Dean said simply. He had to explain everything but for now that was the best he could come up with. They stood for a moment as the rain continued to pour down, both processing everything that had been said. Again Holly reached out and her fingers lingered over the tattoo on Dean's chest. Dean reached up and pressed Holly's hand to his chest, he held it firmly. Only a moment later Holly began to sob again, this time she didn't try to hold anything back. Her body shook and a wailing rose from her throat, it was raw and real. She felt her legs give way and seconds later she had fallen to the water sodden ground. She gave in and let all of her guards down, she didn't want to try any more. All her efforts had been exhausted in such a short time that she had no fight left. She let Dean take her into his arms, let him hold her close to his chest as she sobbed. She only had one thought in that moment; Why?
Thanks for reading! x
