DPOU Chapter 8
Chapter 8…..Anger Within
We hope you all enjoyed the episode last night. We sure did.
We are moving forward with our little story here and we thank all of you for the reviews and follows and favs. We know this fic is dark, but we are overwhelmed by the support. So here we go….SOA and Vickih
-Darkest-
"What if I said I wanted to go?" Carol stood there staring at him, she knew what his answer would be, but she wanted to go with him. She had been doing so much better and she felt strong enough to go with him on his hunting trip with Glenn. It was the second he was making and she knew that he wasn't being totally truthful about what they were doing.
Daryl shoved a few things into his bag, not looking at her, "I said NO and I meant it. Ya have things to do here. Michonne is plannin' on trainin' with ya and Maggie said she was going to walk with ya around the yard. I'm just goin' out there to get some meat and I'll be back."
Carol shook her head, "You said you'd never lie to me."
Daryl spun around, "Fuckin' hell woman, I ain't lyin' to ya. I'm goin' out there to get us some meat."
Carol took a step toward him, her hand going to his chest, "Daryl, I'm stronger now, not like I was but stronger. I just want to help!"
Daryl nodded, his hands gently going to her arms, he had missed her so much. That night they spent together seemed to be a life time ago. He leaned his forehead to hers, "It's somethin' I have to do. I'll be back before dinner, like last time."
Carol closed her eyes, her voice soft, "This happened to me, not you. I should be the one…."
Daryl's head came up and his eyes narrowed at her, "You think this didn't happen to me? I had to … I'm not getting' into this with ya. Not yet, I'm goin' huntin' with Glenn and I'll be back before ya know it. Christ knows your little Hispanic guardian angel will be around."
Carol sighed, "Daryl, that's enough! If I can forgive him….."
Daryl put his bag on his shoulder, "NO! Don't ya dare ask me to do that shit. NO!" He took a few calming breaths, he wasn't going to lose his shit, not with her. She was still so damn fragile, she was getting better every day but he wasn't going to do this here with her. He leaned his forehead to hers again, leaning up to lay a hard kiss there, "I'll be back, I swear and with dinner. Please…..remember, I love ya."
Carol closed her eyes, gripping the front of his shirt, "I don't want you to go."
Daryl nodded, he went to wrap his arms around her and she jumped a little, reminding him that she was still suffering inside, "M'sorry, don't want to fight. I'll stay if ya need me too."
Carol couldn't do that to him, she cling to his shirt, putting her head under his chin, a place where she fit so well, "I'll be fine, just please come back to me. I promise I'll remember and I love you."
Daryl nodded, finally wrapping his arms around her gently, he felt himself stir in his pants and he hated himself. He knew she was NOWHERE near that, but he loved this woman, had loved her for so long and having her in his arms made him want her. He pulled away from her, "I'll be back."
Carol watched him go, sighing as she sat down on the bunk. Martinez appeared a few minutes later, "Well Caro, you ready?"
Carol nodded, giving him a tight lipped smile, "As I'll ever be."
-Darkest-
The women trained for a few hours, but Michonne could tell there was something bugging her friend. There was sadness to Carol and listlessness in her swings that hadn't been there yesterday.
"Hey Carol, why don't we knock off for today."
"If you want to, I guess I'm not as focused as I need to be." Carol's voice seemed to get fainter with each word.
"Ok honey, what's up? Don't you dare say it's nothing, because that would be a lie."
Carol laid her sword in the box and sat in one of the chairs. "Daryl is up to something and I'm worried."
Michonne could see how much this was bothering her friend but was afraid to tell her what she thought Daryl was up to. Instead she just gave a slight chuckle, "Carol, he's a man and lord knows they are always up to something."
"No, it's more than that. He's so, I don't know, angry. I'm afraid for him and us, I can't lose him now that I've found him. What do I do?" Carol sounded almost desperate.
"Carol, you need to remember that what happened didn't just happen to you, but to him as well. He may not have suffered the things you did, but he had to watch them being done to you. He loves you and he's standing by your side."
"I…I guess so."
Neither woman noticed as Maggie walked over to them. "Carol, is it alright if I sit with you?"
Upon hearing Maggie's voice, Carol jumped and cringed a bit, fear shooting through her.
It's ok, it's Maggie, just Maggie.
Carol listening to her inner voice, tamped down her fear and nodded.
Michonne and Maggie, both noticing her reaction glanced at each other before the younger woman joined them.
"How have you been Carol? Your training is looking good."
Carol paused before answering, "I'm doing better. Just not ready to .. Well you know."
Maggie nodded her head and slid her chair a little closer to Carol. " I overhead what you two were saying, and if it's ok I wanted to add something."
Michonne and Carol looked at each other and nodded.
"You remember when Glenn and I were taken by Merle? Do you remember who Glenn was after we got back? I don't know everything you've been through, but can tell you, Daryl suffered. I know Daryl, not as well as you do of course, but that is one man that takes what he thinks of as failure personally. As long as I have known you two, he has watched out for you. I think he's loved you for a long time and having to watch what was done to you almost broke something inside of him."
Carol felt her eyes burn, but refused to let any tears fall. She knew he was in pain because of what happened and knew he, more than anyone else would see it as his failure to protect her.
"How do I make him understand this wasn't his fault."
Michonne put her hand on Carols shoulder "Remember the first day of training when you said you were responsible for what happened? You blamed yourself and so does he. Have you and Daryl sat down and talked about any of this yet?"
Carol shook her head, "No, the only thing we've talked about is Caesar. Daryl doesn't understand why I forgave him. Any time I try to talk to him about anything, Daryl cuts me off. He says he doesn't want to fight, but he's not listening to me either."
Maggie had heard from Glenn about the situation with Martinez, she didn't understand how Carol could forgive the man and had to ask. " Carol, about Martinez, how could you.."
Michonne tried to cut off the question, not wanting Carol to get upset, but stopped when Carol answered.
"He saved Daryl. He brought us home."
Michonne didn't want Carol to go over this again. "I tell you what, I'll talk to Daryl when he gets back, ok?"
"Yeah, ok."
The three women sat in a comfortable silence for a while, watching some of the other survivors go about their daily lives.
" Umm, how long after…" Carol took a deep breath, "How long after , you know, before you could be… touched again?"
Michonne answered first, " It took me a long time, but I didn't have someone like you do. You know Daryl's not going to push you, right?"
Maggie added, "It took a bit, but then I didn't ..I didn't get raped. He just threatened to do it."
Carol looked down at her wedding band, "sometimes I think about the night in the cabin before… and I want that again, but other times the thought of anyone touching me…"
"It'll get better, don't worry. You know Daryl would never hurt you."
"I know, I just… I'm just worried I'll never be ready. How is that fair to him? What if I can't?"
"We can't give you all the answers Carol. You'll be ready, when you're ready and Daryl will be there to help you." Maggie offered the best answer she could think of.
Michonne got a flash of insight, "Do you think killing those men will help?"
"Maybe, you did say you would go with me, so did Rick. Caesar is going to help as well." Carol hoped this would be the solution to her problem.
"We'll talk about this again after they are dead."
"How are we going to get Daryl to agree to it. He doesn't want me to leave the prison. I know I'm not as strong as I need to be yet, but he's not going to let me go."
"I'll have Rick talk to him about it, if that doesn't work, I'll try. If I need to, I'll take you without him knowing. We'll figure it out."
Maggie tried changing the subject, scared of the look in Carol's eyes, "Do you think you might be ready to visit with Glenn soon? I will make sure he knows to not hug you, but he has been missing you."
Carol thought about it and answered , "Maybe tomorrow when Daryl is with me?"
Maggie and Michonne shared a smile over Carols head, it was slow but they had made progress.
"That will be fine, come on, let's take that walk."
The three women rose as one and began their loop around the fence.
-Darkest-
Daryl walked through the woods with Glenn, he already had a few rabbits on his string. They had found a large buck in one of the snare traps and they had tied it up into the trees so walkers couldn't get it. They were moving at a fast clip heading toward one of the trucks that Rick had help them hide away from the prison, so Carol didn't see them leave. He had a good lead from the first day they went out.
As they got into the truck, Glenn sighed, "Back to the house?"
Daryl nodded, "Yeah, I want to follow those tracks we found up toward the East side of town."
Glenn nodded pulling the truck onto the road, he kept giving Daryl glances, "So Carol looks better, what I've seen of her."
Daryl nodded, chewing on his thumb nail, he hated not being with her, but he needed to do something. Sitting back at the prison just watching her go through the motions. She was coming out of her shell but she wasn't there yet, he had no idea what her and Michonne were doing during their 'training sessions' but each day when she came back she had a little bit more life in her eyes and that was something, "She's doin' better."
Glenn nodded, "You know if you want to talk about, I'm here. We just want you both to be in a better place, so anything I can do…"
Daryl nodded, "Thank ya, we're fine for now."
Glenn sighed, "I have to ask, Martinez…..Rick said…well Rick told me that he…..how have you not killed him yet?"
Daryl looked over at him, his eyes dark, "Because he dies last."
Glenn didn't say anything more, he focused on the road hoping that him going out with Daryl was enough to help the man come around more. Daryl was more withdrawn now then he had been when he first got to the quarry with Merle and Glenn was afraid he was losing his friend.
Daryl stared out the window trying to focus on what he needed to do when they got back when he saw a flash of metal in the distance. He tapped Glenn on the shoulder, "Hold up here."
Glenn nodded, pulling the truck over. Daryl slipped out of the truck working through the trees toward where he saw the movement. Glenn followed close behind him. When they got to clearing, Daryl saw a familiar man standing outside a small house; it was one of the governor's guards. His heart started pounding in his chest and felt like he couldn't breathe. He signaled for Glenn to stay there as he worked around to the back of the house. He peeked into the kitchen window and saw one other man going through room by room looking for items of use. Daryl crept into the back door and came up behind the man, stabbing him through the back of the head, he dropped the body on the ground and advanced toward the door.
The man who was outside, came in a few minutes later, as he went to walk into the kitchen, Daryl brought up the butt of his bow and smacked him in the head. The man went down hard. Daryl stood over his body, a smirk of satisfaction came to his face, this was one of the men, one of the men who had hurt her, had ruined his woman. He shook as he rolled him over, slapping him in the face, "WAKE UP! HEY ASSHOLE! WAKE UP!"
The man groaned, his eyes opening slowly, when he focused on the fact that Daryl was now standing above him, his eyes went wide with panic. Daryl smirked, "That's right asshole, I want ya awake for this, I want ya to feel the blade cut into your damn skin, I want ya to feel what SHE felt."
Glenn was at the door now, watching him, "Daryl?"
Daryl didn't look up at him, "Go get the truck."
Glenn didn't know what to do, "Daryl we need to go, just kill him and get it over with."
Daryl cocked his head to the side, his voice was soft, "Get the truck, I'll be right out."
Glenn nodded, "Alright, I'll be right back." Glenn half ran to get the truck, hoping like hell Daryl didn't do anything crazy while he was gone.
Daryl turned his attention back to the man. He didn't say anything as he took his knife and stabbed the man in the crotch several times. He stared into his eyes as he screamed, he didn't stop stabbing until the man's body stilled under him. Then he stomped in his head to make sure he didn't come back.
When Glenn got back with the truck, Daryl was outside washing off his boots with some rain water that had collected in an old window box. Daryl got into the truck, "Let's head back."
Glenn didn't say anything, he just nodded figuring there wasn't anything else to say. If it had been Maggie, Glenn knew he would've wanted them all dead and if killing these men helped Daryl, who the hell was he to say anything different.
-Darkest
As the women finished their second loop around the fence, Daryl and Glenn returned home.
Carol looked at Michonne, "Can you talk to him today? I need to know he's alright."
Michonne put her arm around Carol's shoulders, please to see her not flinch, "Yeah, after dinner. I'll have Martinez stay with you and get Rick to help talk to him."
Carol gave the woman a small smile and walked over to the truck.
Daryl came through the gate and rushed over to meet her. Putting his arms carefully around her, he leaned down and rested his head against hers. "Hi baby, did you have a good day?"
Carol nodded as she slipped a hand to his arm, "Yeah, I visited with Maggie and worked some things out. Do you want me to take the game and clean it?"
Daryl was surprised she offered, it was one of the tasks she had been avoiding since they got back.
"If you want to, I got rabbits and a deer. Where's Martinez?"
"Rick had him working on something, but Michonne and Maggie were with me all day."
Daryl smiled at the thought of Rick keeping Martinez busy and away from Carol, "Maybe Maggie could help you with the cleaning. I need to talk to Rick for a minute."
As Carol and Maggie went to get the game, Michonne walked over to Daryl, "We need to talk."
Feeling panic rising in his chest, Daryl asked, "What about? Is Carol ok?"
Michonne just looked at him, " She's fine. I need you and Rick to meet me in the guard tower after dinner. Martinez will stay with Carol. "
Daryl didn't know what was going on, but he had a feeling he wasn't going to be happy after this talk.
