Dear Diary

I never knew it would take 2 years for my next entry to take place. Things turned out quite unexpectedly so this might be a long entry.

My father went too far. He kidnapped Baek Won just when I was going to marry her. That sealed the deal. He unleashed the screw that held me in check. I knew I could never look Baek Won in the face again after all my father's misdeeds. I just need to save her, ensure sufficient evidence is collected for my father to go to prison, and I will die. I want to die. There is no point going to jail with my father anymore. He betrayed my trust totally. It was endgame for both me and him. And I did it, using my life. I shot myself in the head, and never expected to survive.

Yet survive I did. I don't know how. Perhaps I just couldn't let go of Baek Won, especially after hearing her pleas of not leaving her alone. How could I have been so selfish? I wasn't thinking straight. I was just thinking of myself, my own feelings, when I should have been considering hers. The doctors said the bullet struck my head at an angle that damaged the areas which affected my movement. So for 2 years I haven't been able to get out of bed or move much, until last week. Again I have made myself into a burden to her.

The recovery process was really trying though. Emotionally, I was too ashamed to meet Baek Won and refused to see her for weeks. She withdrew all the charges against embezzlement. But she is indeed one persistent woman. Even her mother came to see and talk to me, as I lay in bed, totally listless and withdrawn. I didn't see the point in living anymore. Chun Won also came to encourage me, surprisingly, and said Baek Won forgave even her. My dear silly soft hearted Baek Won.

It finally took a firm scolding from her mom that gave me a wake up call. She told me not to dwell on the past anymore, and I am not my father. Baek Won doesn't hold it against me, and neither does she. She told me that me pushing Baek Won away is hurting her far more, because the stubborn girl said she will wait even if it takes more than 14 years.

What else could I do?

DY