Chapter Seven

'Aches and pains'

AN: A short chapter, way to short IMHO to be a chapter. But the next one got so out of hand, copy/pasting it on would make it even bigger.


"I want to die," said Xander the next day as he dropped down in a chair in the school's library, "I hurt in places I never knew. I think I hurt in places I don't even have."

"I have to agree," said Buffy dropping down as well, "even I hurt. Although probably not as much as you, Xander. I hope you don't feel as terrible as you look."

"Much, much worse Buff," Xander replied with gritted teeth as he straightened one of his legs, "be very, very glad for your slayer strengths."

"Hey, you wanted it, Xan. You got it. Be careful what you wish for. What were you thinking."

"I thought of that myself throughout the night," admitted Xander as he straightened another leg, " especially when I woke up and even reaching for the painkillers was a whole new glorious adventure in pain. Ah, that's better."

"I have to say, it was most fascinating," said Giles excited as he was still busy writing down his notes from last night, "I know there are some Earth martial arts which are meant to improve your life energies."

"Like that tai chi you always make me do," Buffy said leaning over backwards in her chair.

"Exactly, Buffy. But this is way more advanced. It makes tai chi look like child's play. If the council would adopt these techniques for potentials at an early age it would revolutionize future slayers. Before a girl is called she could potentially already have near slayer power."

"I think he's very excited," said Xander, "look at his nose, its absolutely twitching."

"Absolutely,"Buffy smiled, "potential Giles overload!"

"I'm writing down Belmovekk's instructions in order to a create a new slayer training manual," sad Giles, oblivious to all comments.

"You know," said Buffy leaning over to Xander, "if he keeps this up he's going to need clean underwear."

"Please Buff, have some mercy," Xander groaned, "I hurt when I laugh."

At that moment Willow entered the library and moved on to the painful duo.

"So, how are my big strong Xander and Buffy doing?"

"Exploring the wonderful and exciting world of hurt," replied Xander, "I wish I was dead."

"Don't say things like that," said Willow in mock outrage, "you're on the Hellmouth, remember?"

"I can't think straight, Will, its the pain talking."

"Didn't you take the painkillers?"

"Up to the maximum allowed dosage and then some for good measure," Xander smiled with a big grin that quickly faded to mock horror, "and it's still not enough.

"That's not very responsible, Xander," remarked Giles.

"No, but you didn't go through military boot camp on steroids last night. So don't begrudge my scooby snacks."

Before Giles could make another reply a bird suddenly flew into the library.

"Giles,"" Xander said, "I'd point if I could but instead of talking about my scooby snacks you'd better close the windows or you're going to spend all evening cleaning the..."

The bird suddenly transformed into the Saiyan Belmovekk.

"I may be in total pain," said Xander, "but if it means I can do that later it will be all worth it. Dude, that is utter coolapalooza!"

"So how are my new pupils doing," the Saiyan asked as he walked to he painful duo.

"Let me give you a list," Xander said, "auw, auw and even more auw?"

"Lots of pain I guess," the Saiyan said with an evil grin, "that was to be expected. Especially the first time. How about you, young lady?"

"Big on the pain but I can manage it. Its already not as bad as when I woke up."

"I suspected as much," the Saiyan nodded, "you did say you got improved healing skills."

"Not fast enough if you ask me," Buffy commented. The impossible had happened. Ever since she had become the Slayer muscle ache from training had become but a memory. Her previous watcher had put her through her paces in ways unimaginable but she had never hurt. Some of Giles' exercises had been equally grueling but not exhausting. Yet now she was aching like she had never done a moments of exercise in her life.

"How come my body aches," she asked, "I train all the time but I never ached before?"

"The purpose of your training must have been to increase you combat efficiency," Belmovekk theorized, "to improve your skills so you could do more with what you have. A worthy goal. These exercises however are geared towards increasing your strength and lifeforce So you can do more because you will have more."

"I don't feel like I can do more with more," groaned Xander, "I feel like doing less with less."

"Let me have a look," the Saiyan said and showed little gentleness as he pulled up the sleeves of Xander pants and shirt, paying no head to Xander's protests. Then he started to feel around, causing more protests.

"You are all tensed up," he finally said.

"Tell me something I don't know," said Xander through gritted teeth,"oh, and by the way, your bedside manners stink."

"Forgive me, young man," Belmovekk apologized, "I am just not used to training your kind. Let me help you, I know some Saiyan massage techniques that will relieve you of your pain. If you were to remove your shirt and pants I will give you a rubdown."

Xander shook his head.

"Even though I feel like I'm being skewered with hot needles that so does not sound very appetizing," he said.

The Saiyan looked puzzled.

"What? Do you not wish to be relieved of your muscle pain," he asked.

"Yeah," admitted Xander, "but not while being handled by a man wearing only my briefs when anybody can walk in."

When Belmovekk still looked puzzled Buffy stepped. Figuratively of course because she didn't feel like stepping much.

"What Xander means is that he fears for his reputation of manliness," grinned Buffy, "this is a public space after all.".

"What has that got to do with a massage," Belmovekk asked, "don't they give massages on this world?"

"They do, but not in libraries," Buffy said.

"Oh for the love of the gods," muttered the Saiyan and pointed his hand at the door, giving a slight grunt.

"There, nobody can come in," he said, "I erected a forcefield. Now take of your clothes and get on that table, buttmonkey!"

Buffy and Willow nearly fell on the floor laughing and even Giles could hardly suppress a laughter.

"I so hate my life," muttered Xander.


His complaints quickly ceased during and after the massage.

"This is amazing," he said, "It is like its almost gone away."

"Feeling better, Xan," Buffy asked.

"You have no idea, Buffy," Xander said as he hurriedly put his clothes back on, "I'm officially downgrading pain level alert from hot penetrating meat skewers to dull pricking forks."

"That good then," Buffy asked impressed.

"You have no idea," said Xander as finished his clothes and started to pose like a body builder to prove the effects.

"Your turn, young lady," said the Saiyan and gestured to the table.

"I'd rather not do it here," said Buffy hesitantly.

Belmovekk sighed and rolled his eyes upwards.

"What is it with this world," he exclaimed, "they all act as prudes, especially the girls, yet they all dress cheaper then Marag harlots! Strip and get your ass on the table, young lady. I haven't lived for 4000 years without having fulfilled my quorum of lust or seeing my share of nubile naked young ladies. Nothing I have not seen before. I promise not to enjoy it. Much. Besides, my word is law, remember?"

"OK, but you guys better not watch," said Buffy to the other men in the library.

"Ah, come on, Buff," protested Xander trying to suppress a big smile, "you got to see me undressed!"

"Yeah, but I'm not a hormonally driven teenage male. Turn around, read a book or something. Don't we have some research mode to do on Spike?"

Sighing Xander turned around, trying to get a glimpse through the reflection in the window. Giles of course was courteous enough to immerse himself in working out his notes.

"And no looking through the reflections in the windows," said Buffy, soliciting further sighs from Xander.

"Now, you may not feel as much pain as your friend Xander," said the Saiyan, "but its still there, all tensed up. I think its better if I move tomorrows training up a day to give you two more rest. I have to to put you through your paces again to get better, not worse."

"I have to say, this does feel good," admitted Buffy when the Saiyan unleashed his massage magic.

"Of course it does, young lady, thats what its meant for."

"Are you really 4000 years old," Willow asked.

"Yes, young lady, sometimes I even feel like 4000 years as well. I am glad though that I do not look the part. Belgarath is even older, 7000 years. And he does look the part."

"That's a lot of birthday candles," Willow replied.

Belmovekk shrugged.

"After a while you just stop counting."

"Or you could make one candle count as ten instead," suggested Willow.

"Or you could do that," smiled the Saiyan.

"I'm curious," asked Giles from behind his book, "that routine you did just before starting the exercise, what was it about?"

"We take our martial arts very serious, master Giles," the Saiyan answered as he worked Buffy's legs, "like all the arts it is a creative process and in that respect divine. There are even Saiyan forms of martial arts whose only purpose is to become one with the divine."

"T-that sounds very similar to many Eastern martial arts disciplines, Giles replied, "this is most interesting."

"Because we believe that our martial arts derive from the divine no Saiyan instructor will ever begin training without first assuming a position of respect towards the home of the Gods, mount Selyesna. Then he or she must bless the training ground for the duration of the training by invoking the blessing of the Goddess of War. To forgo this would mean incurring her wrath and severe bad luck."

"Fascinating," concurred Giles

"We can't piss off the divine, can we," said Xander standing in front of the window, "this is the Hellmouth after all."

"Xander, quit peeking," yelled Buffy as she caught Xander peering a bit to much to her taste into a certain window reflection..

"Sorry," Xander said as he shifted his stance.

"Still," said Giles, "if your planet is gone, is there any real significance to this ritual, especially now that your homeworld is destroyed."

Belmovekk paused his massaging for a moment to think it over.

"Gods are funny creatures," he said as he resumed massaging, "if there is one thing I learned about Gods after 4000 years of serving my Master is that they do not always inhabit the same sphere of existence as we do. Planet Vegeta may be gone, it does not stand to follow that that the Saiyan Gods are gone. For 4000 years I have observed the ritual. I have every intention to continue. In fact since you will oversea their training in my absence you yourself must oversee the ritual."

"For 4000 years, does your kind live for that long," asked Giles.

"I ceased aging the day I became a sorcerer, master Giles"

"A sorcerer?"

"Thats how I can do the shape shifting," Belmovekk said as he moved to Buffy's arms.

"Do you use magic for that?"

The Saiyan huffed derisively.

"Magic is for beginners, master Giles. It is borrowed power. We sorcerers do not need magic spells, amulets, herbs or borrowed power. Sorcery comes within. You think of something that you want to to happen and then you will it to happen. Its a sort of similar to what I am training the youngsters here for. Chi fighting basically pumps up one's life force in order to use it in combat. A sorcerer however tries to increase his willpower in order to manipulate the material world. You do not need to be physically strong to be a sorcerer. All you need to do is to gather your will and unleash it through a word. That's why Belgarath calls it the will and the word. Smart guy, not so good with making names though."

"Seems more easy," said Buffy, "just say die to the baddies, baddies die."

Belmovekk stopped again as if she had said the dumbest thing.

"On the contrary, young lady, you need to be extra careful. While its safe to unleash your lifeforce and blast an enemy to pieces you have to be extremely careful using sorcery. You cannot just say die, you must be specific. The most dangerous thing to do is to say be not and so unmake something. The universe will not allow it. It will allow a sorcerer to create something form nothing but not to unmake something into nothing. Anyone trying to do that would be unmade himself. In the heat of battle you can say many stupid things. It would not do well to say the very thing that would destroy you yourself."

"I get it, no saying bad things, just blasting bad things," she said, then she noticed something, "Xander, quit looking!"

"Sorry Buff, I'm trying," Xander said as he again shifted space, "bad hormones, bad hormones!"

"Belgarath always says that if you want to make sure you kill somebody its infinitely better to stick a sword into said somebody," Belmovekk smiled as he resumed his massage, "less messy. Or more, depending on where you stick it, right?"

"As long as they don't bleed on me, I don't generally care," said Buffy, "you should become a professional masseur, Belmo. Can't we get him a job as the school masseur, Giles."

"I could make some inquires, if you'd like Belmovekk," Giles suggested, "it would provide you with a job and a good cover."

"Tempting," the Saiyan said as he thought it over, "but I can't be here all the time. There, finished, young lady, you can get dressed."

Buffy got up and moved her arms. The pain was almost totally gone.

"Thanks, I feel like new again, You sure don't want to become the school masseur? You'll have a fixed income and I could so get used to this."

"I have other business to attend to, young lady,"Belmovekk smiled, "and being a sorcerer has its advantages. I can always create stuff."

The Saiyan stretched out his hand above the table and out of nowhere gold coins started to fall out of nowhere on the table."

"Giles, he can create gold! That is so cool," exclaimed Willow.

"Hello, yellowwy goodness," said Xander as he moved closer and started to drool looking at the money."

"Momma needs a new pair of shoes," said Buffy gazing hungry.

"Now you've done it," said Giles shaking his heads, "you do realize they are Americans, right? They worship at the altar of the almighty dollar."

"They do? How very Tolnedran of them," the Saiyan said raising an eyebrow

Giles also came to the table and examined the gold.

"There's even a rumor at Watcher central that Alan Greenspan sacrifices a virgin once a year at the Federal Reserve."

"They do? What a weird world," the Saiyan said,and gestured towards the gold, "If you want you kids can have one of each. Do not spend it all at once. Oh, before I forget."

And with that the Saiyan conjured up a series of ankle and arm bracelets.

"Young man, young lady, I want you to start wearing these around your arms and legs."

"Do we need jewelry now to wear into battle," Buffy asked.

"No, try lifting them," Belmovekk said as he put them on the table, "these are for you and these for Xander."

Xander tried to lift one of his bracelets.

"You must be kidding, right,"he said shocked, "these must way 10 pounds each!"

"That's the whole point, young man. Through my training and by constantly wearing these weights your body will be forced to adapt to these new conditions. Once you get used to constantly moving and training in them it will help you to reach a new level of chi power far quicker then just mere exercise. When you were watching those nice pictures on that computer you were commenting on how absurd Piccolo's shoulder pieces were. They happen to weigh 10 tons these days."

"Ten tons?"

"And he only ever takes them off when the fight is going really bad," Belmovekk smiled.

"Ten tons," muttered Xander speechless.

"Mine don't weigh 10 pounds," said Buffy as she picked up one, "they must weigh at least ten times as much!"

"Well you are the slayer, you can handle more," the Saiyan said smirking, "to each his own. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Before you go could you please open the door," asked Willow, "we have to go to class and the forcefield seems to be still up."

"I almost forget," said the Saiyan and made an opening gesture. Nothing visible changed.

"Be seeing you," he said and shapeshifted into a bird again and flew out of the window.

Almost at the exact moment the library doors opened and Cordelia barged in.

"What is it with the closed doors," she said angrily, only then to have her jaw hit the floor, "hey, is that gold?"