*KIND REMINDER: English isn't my language*
I want to dedicate this chapter to luciebean, bestiewritters and Luiza who took a few minutes of their valuable time to leave me a review, thank you very much and thank you for your compliments regarding my English, I must confess that sometimes I have to google some words, but most of the time I try to write it without the help of a translator. Also thanks to all who continue reading this fic.
Chapter 8
Stay With Me
Guess it's true I'm not good at a one-night stand. But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man. These nights never seem to go to plan. In don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand? Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all I need...
"I'm pregnant"
Teddy's words were like a low blow, all the air had left his lungs and his head couldn't find the words to answer.
"Are you not going to say anything? And don't ever ask who this baby is... Do not you think it's obvious?"
Owen got up from the bench, his hands were sweating, his body trembling; on one hand his whole body wanted to burst with happiness he had always wanted a child, a family; On the other hand, he couldn't stop thinking about the circumstances that led them to be in this situation. Rubbing his face over and over and over again with his hands, looking at the sky waiting in the stars to find the right words but he couldn't; Teddy suddenly realized that he was hyperventilating, right away she was at his side helping him to sit down again, caressing his head, his neck, his back trying to calm him down. After a few minutes his breathing had returned to normal.
"Sorry, sorry it's just ..." Owen said.
"I know, I know… For me was quite impressive too."
Doing the math in his head Owen realized that it was most likely that Teddy was around 8 weeks along but she hadn't said anything, until now.
"For how long have you known?"
"I had had my suspicions for a couple of weeks but until today I confirmed it."
"And didn't occur it to you to tell me when your suspicions began?" Owen said a little annoyed. "I am the father, I deserved to know it from the beginning."
Teddy was astonished, she couldn't believe the attitude that Owen was taking.
"They were just suspicions! If I told you something and it turned out to be a false alarm…"
"So you thought it was better to hide what was happening."
Teddy got up quickly from the bench, bringing her hands to her head. "Oh no… oh my Gooood! I cannot believe it. I didn't hide anything from you because until a few hours ago there was nothing to say!"
"Two months have passed Teddy. How is it possible that in two months you have not noticed anything? You have been drinking coffee as if it were water in these last days. It seems that you don't know how bad caffeine is during pregnancy, you are a doctor for God's sake! Two months without medical attention, if you had told me since your suspicions began…"
Teddy interrupted him immediately, she felt her whole body tremble, she didn't know if it was anger or fear "Of course! I get it! Because my only job is to sit in the living room of my house waiting for something important to happen! I have a job, Owen! A job and a daughter who take almost one hundred percent of my time, the last thing I thought could happen to me was to get pregnant, believe me it's the last thing I expected. "After Teddy's rant silence fell between the two, she didn't stop pacing back and forth with her hands on her hips, he didn't stop following her with his eyes.
Suddenly Owen remembered what had happened to what would have been his firstborn; he couldn't help but ask with panic in his voice.
"Will you keep it, isn't it?" Teddy, for God's sake, I beg you…"
"Owen, Owen stop! You know me… and even though I respect the decision of women who decide not to keep their children you better than anyone else knows that I don't think like that, I'll have it." She assured him as she took a place next to him on the bench.
"We'll have it, Teddy you're not alone in this, you understand me?" Owen said looking directly into Teddy's green eyes which were already flooded with tears that ran down her cheeks and down her neck. "What's wrong, are you not happy?" Owen asked placing a strand of hair behind her ear and stroking her cheek gently.
After staying a few seconds in silence Teddy finally found her voice again. "You know? When I was a little girl I always wanted a sibling, my mother would shut herself up in her room, depressed or doped, Prozac and Xanax were her best friends…" She let out a humorless laugh. "A-and my father… my father would only come home on weekends, so the rest of the week I would spend my time alone, wandering the halls and the gardens of my house imagining all the things I would do if I had a sibling(*)". Teddy couldn't stop crying. "So… since then I promised myself that someday I would have a big family, at least 3 children, preferably all girls, two dogs, a big house with white walls, floor to ceiling windows and a huge garden, but above all I wanted a husband that will love me like nobody… I was so stupid and naïve… As time passed, I realized that my dream was vanishing more and more… Soon I forgot all those dreams and I concentrated fully on surviving in Baghdad and then in my career… then Henry came, making true many of the dreams I had and although I thought that the child's part would be impossible due to his illness… my little angel showed me the opposite."
"I know Teddy, I know about your dreams, I know about your hopes. And I know it because I would dare to say that I am the person who knows you the most in this world. I know of your dream of a big family and there was a time when it was also my dream…"
"When Addison gave me the positive pregnancy result I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to feel…I always thought that it would only be Angela and me for the rest of our lives, and now this ... just when I had let go of the big family dream comes this baby and I don't know how to feel." Teddy said, sobbing.
"Happy? Teddy, you should feel happy this is good news, isn't it?"
"I don't know how to feel" She said looking at him with red-rimmed eyes. "When I found out that I was pregnant with Angela I neglected my pregnancy for a long time, I didn't dedicate a single thought to my poor baby for months, I was in such a state of denial that it wasn't until I felt her move inside me, kick and flutter, alive and healthy when I realize the precious gift that life was giving me… when I started to suspect about this pregnancy unconsciously I started doing the same thing, denying it, denying it to myself, putting it in the back of my head because… I didn't know how to react…"
"This time you don't have to think about how to react, Teddy, this baby is something beautiful."
"It's just… It's not as I would've liked it." Teddy burst into tears. "Not when the father of the baby in my womb doesn't love me". She thought.
Knowing that deep down this was something that Teddy had always wanted gave Owen some hope. "Very few of the times a child is one hundred percent planned." He said with a smile trying to cheer her up.
"I don't know how I'm going to tell Angela and my father."
"Do you want us both to tell them?"
"First I want to wait a few weeks… you know to be sure everything is fine with the baby."
"Sure, of course I think the same."
"So for now I would ask you for some discretion, besides you Addison is the only one who knows."
"Count on it Teddy." Owen got up on the bench and started pacing back and forth. "So, a baby. Hmm? A baby ... we'll have a baby… you and I." Owen's voice was trembling and the biggest smile Teddy had seen in him for a long time appeared on his face. Suddenly Owen walked towards Teddy, lifting her from the bench and taking her by the waist began to turn her in the air. She couldn't help but laugh loudly. Once Teddy was back on his two feet Owen knelt in front of her and no matter who saw him planted the softest of kisses on Teddy's belly and then buried his face into it and whisper. "I love you, I love you both."
Teddy froze. "Owen, can I ask you a favor?" Teddy said as she took Owen by both hands to put him on his feet.
"Of course, of course, whatever you want."
"Do you think it would be possible to take this easy? I mean, it's not necessary for us to live together, let alone get married tomorrow, neither I want you to feel obligated to do or say things that you don't feel just because I'm carrying your child in my womb, real…"
Immediately Owen interrupted her "What I said…I didn't say it because I felt obligated Teddy, it's not the first time I do it that night I told you, maybe you don't remember it but I said it. The day that you decided that we should forgot what had happened I was going to say it again but you decided that this had been a mistake, for me it wasn't... I love you Theodora Altman, I love you, I love Angela and I love this baby, I love you all. "
"Owen, stop! Why are you doing this? Why? With me you don't have to pretend… I know you…you-don't-love me." Teddy said emphasizing each word, her voice was trembling. "Tell me, what would you do if in this moment Cristina returned saying that she loves you? I bet you anything that you would run straight into her arms and once again I would be hurt and humiliated. "
"Do you really think I would leave you if Cristina appeared again in my life?" Owen asked.
"Well, maybe you will not leave me completely, I want to think that you will be a responsible father but since it's not necessary to be together to raise our child, I say yes… without thinking twice you would leave me for her."
"Unbelievable!" Owen was getting upset. Didn't she realize that he loved her? What did he have to do to prove it? "I cannot believe you doubt my word, my love. Tell me now you don't think of Henry. "
"Don't you dare, don't you dare bring him into this discussion! He is dead, he will never come back, but Cristina…"
"Enough, Teddy! Enough! Do you want to know what I would do if Cristina returned? Nothing, I wouldn't do anything. Or maybe would, I would let her know how happy I am, how happy I am with you, with Angela, how happy you made me when you turned me a father. That would happen!" Owen couldn't help but raise his voice to Teddy. "And just to be clear, that night you also told me that you loved me." Upon seeing her tears he immediately regretted it but her doubts were really getting on his nerves.
Teddy remained silent, processing Owen's words while the tears didn't stop running down her cheeks, it seemed incredible to accept that he could love her as a woman, as a life partner and not just as a friend. Owen came slowly to her and took her gently by the waist.
"I agree with you that it's not as I would have planned but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about it, but we will do what you want, we will take things slowly, just don't ask me not to love you because that will not happen."
Teddy just hugged Owen by the waist and burying her head in his chest she burst into tears. Owen stroked her hair and her back with soft circles. After a few minutes she was calmer.
"Addison booked me an appointment for tomorrow, it's at 9:00 in the morning ..."
"I'll be there." Owen answered immediately. Tomorrow he would see his child for the first time. The mere thought made his chest and heart swell with pride and love. Both remained embraced for a few minutes, Owen's caresses, the fatigue of the day and the emotions of the last minutes made Teddy's eyelids gradually feel heavier and heavier, she couldn't contain the yawn that came out of her mouth.
"Ok, time to sleep, I'll take you to your home and in the morning I'll pick you up, tomorrow will be an exciting day." Owen said.
"Don't worry, I can get to my home safe and sound, remember, we will take this slowly."
"I know, but I also know you're exhausted, I don't want you to drive in this state, so let's go home."
Owen was right, she was completely exhausted so without the energy to argue with him she just took his hand and they both went to Owen's truck.
…
The next morning, while Teddy was making her daughter's breakfast she tried by all means to keep the nausea at bay, she didn't want Angela to notice.
"Mommy, are you sad?"
"No, why do you ask, my angel?"
"Because last night I heard you cry and today your little face looks sad."
It was true, last night Teddy had cried until she fell asleep. "Last night I was watching a very sad movie but you are right, mommy is very, very tired but it is because I work hard so that you and I don't lack anything."
"I wish I could work so that you will stay at home resting." Angela said.
Among the fatigue, hormones and the sweet words of her angel Teddy's eyesight was getting cloudy with tears. "When you grow up you can work to help mommy."
"But I don't want to be a surgeon, I want to be a lawyer and live in New York, like grandpa."
"You will be whatever you want my angel, doctor, lawyer, chef. Whatever you want, do you understand me?"
Angela just nodded vigorously, giving her mommy a big hug. The hug was soon interrupted by someone knocking at the door. Immediately Teddy went to see who it was.
"Owen?! It's just 7:00 a.m. What are you doing here so early?"
"Well ... I thought maybe ... I don't know. Could you need something?" Owen didn't know how to explain that he had spent the night awake so when the sun came up he decided to come to her house. "Are you okay, looks like you were crying?"
"Oh, it's nothing." Teddy answered nonchalant. "But come in. Have you had breakfast yet?"
"No, the truth is that I expected to eat something at the hospital."
"Nonsenses… come in, Angela and I are just starting. Angie, my love, look who's here."
"UNCLE OWEN!" Angela ran to hug her uncle. "I missed you so much! Do you stay for breakfast? Mommy and I are making pancakes with Nutella."
"Sounds delicious!" Owen answered giving the little girl a kiss on the cheek.
"Uncle, your beard tickles me!" Angela said laughing and squirming in Owen's arms.
Teddy couldn't stop seeing the scene in front of her. Two of the people she loved the most in this world. "Maybe my dreams can come true," she thought. "Maybe we can become a fam ..." her thoughts were interrupted by a strong wave of nausea.
"Would you excuse me for a moment… Owen." She managed to say pointing to Angela before covering her mouth and running to the bathroom. Owen caught the message immediately.
"Mommy is sick, uncle?"
"No angel, mommy is perfectly fine. Why the question?"
"Because last night I heard her cry and today in the morning I heard her throwing up in the bathroom, people throws up when they are sick."
"No, darling, mommy is pretty well, maybe she ate something that made her sick."
"Like when Sofia, Zola and I ate so much chocolate ice cream that we got sick?"
"Exactly!" Owen replied with a smile. In his mind he couldn't stop thinking about what his life would be like from now on. He imagined a future with Teddy, Angela and the new baby. Wake up late on Sundays, stay all together in the warm bed, make breakfast. "Maybe my dreams can come true," Owen thought.
Minutes later Teddy returned to the kitchen and although her face was alarmingly pale she tried to act as normal as possible. The trio had breakfast and spent the time in great harmony, Teddy and Owen took Angela to school and then went to the hospital. Although both were bundle of nerves none expressed it but it was evident in their faces. Taking Teddy by the hand, they both made their way to the hospital entrance.
"Owen, wait." Teddy said, letting go of Owen's hand.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes, it's just ... I'm scared." Teddy's eyes were filled with tears, which seemed to be a constant these last days. "Owen, I'm not getting any younger, I'm 44 years old a-and… What if there's something wrong with the baby? You said it yourself, this baby has gone weeks without medical attention, I don't know what I'm going to do if ..." Owen immediately wrapped her between his arms. Immediately regretting what he had said the night before, it was evident that the thought had remained in Teddy's head and knowing her probably spent much of the night thinking about it, stressed and scared. "You're an imbecile, Hunt," he thought.
"Whatever happens, we will be together and this baby will not lack love or attention. You hear me? Now, we don't want to be late for the first ultrasound."
Both went to the OB-GYN wing. Both nervous but at the same time immensely happy, maybe they were right and fate finally began to smile at them.
Song: Stay With Me - Sam Smith
(*) You can learn more about Teddy's past (at least the one I made up) in chapters 9.1 and 10 of the first part "Life After You"
