Seven Days of Ugly Christmas Apparel

This one is sung by Sherlock to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

On the first day of Christmas
John Watson gave to me
A jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas
John Watson gave to me
Two reindeer antlers
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the third day of Christmas
John Watson gave to me
Three flashing pins
Two reindeer antlers
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the fourth day of Christmas
John Watson gave to me
Four candy cane scarves
Three flashing pins
Two reindeer antlers
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the fifth day of Christmas
John Watson gave to me
Five gaudy rings
Four candy cane scarves
Three flashing pins
Two reindeer antlers
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the sixth day of Christmas
John Watson gave to me
Six bells a-jingling
Five gaudy rings
Four candy cane scarves
Three flashing pins
Two reindeer antlers
And a jumper with a light-up Christmas tree

On the seventh day of Christmas
John Watson gave to me
A blow job to make up for the ridiculous crap I've been wearing all week

It was worth it.

End Notes: Feel free to make up your own verses for the rest of the 12 days… ;)

If there are any artists out there who would be willing to illustrate this, I'd be forever in your debt.