"Are you sure this is alright?" Lily said nervously. James grinned.

"It's a little late to be asking that now, don't you think?" he said, merriment in his every movement. She glanced down at the bags he carried, filled with goodies and her own brand-new CopyQuill.

"In for a penny, in for a pound, I suppose," she said.

"What?" he asked confused, but she shook her head.

"We may as well," she explained, and he nodded.

And with that, James threw the cloak over their heads and bundled it up in his arms. There were only a few patrons in the Three Broomsticks, at such a late hour, but none looked all that impressed with their sudden appearance if they noticed at all. Lily blinked, and they smiled at one another, Lily slightly more shyly than James. His free hand slid into hers and Lily felt her cheeks blush. He looked down at their intertwined hands in that look of dazed euphoric bewilderment he had been using all night. She loved holding his hand. It was large and warm and tough, but touched her in a manner that suggested he was handling something delicate.

"What?" she finally asked of his gaze.

"I just can't believe that we're really-"

"James Potter!" Lily's eyes shot wide, guilt and fear shrouding her features. He visibly flinched under that strict tone. "I know I've been lenient in the past, but no amount of charming from you or Sirius Black is going to get you out of trouble tonight! You're Head Boy now, for Merlin's sakes! It's no wonder that redhead you're so enamored with thinks you're immature! You should know better!" Madame Rosemerta exclaimed. She knew the back of that scruffy black-haired head better than she knew her own name. She wondered what excuse he'd have conjured up this time. Sure enough, he turned around with that charming grin of his that always seemed to make her temper soften. She tried to hold firm.

"No!" she said, closing her eyes and holding up her hands in defense. "I don't want to hear whatever excuse you've managed to cook up this time!"

""But this time it's really not my fault!" he cried, and stepped to the side, revealing the aforementioned redhead. The girl was blushing and looking apologetic. Madame Rosemerta felt her heart soften.

"The Head Girl made me!" he said, drawing Lily close to his side and gazed at the girl with the most unabashed expression of adoration she had ever seen. Whatever reserved strength she had to fight him off was butchered by that look.

"Oh! Go sit down already!" she cried, shaking her head and going to the bar to grab a couple of butterbeers. She put them on the table in front of the two and sharply jabbed her finger at James. "You should just be grateful that I never swear in front of a lady, Mister, or else you'd be getting an earful! And you!" she said, turning to Lily. The girl looked absolutely terrified. "I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into with this hooligan!"

Then she smiled, winked, and strode off to refresh the drinks of the other patrons in the bar.

"You know, I think that's the lightest I've ever gotten off with her. I should bring you around more often," he said.

"As long as you don't start blaming everything on me, I might take you up on that offer," she said carefully after a moment, before busying herself with her bottle.

"Am I to understand you've actually enjoyed yourself this evening?" he grinned wickedly.

"And in spite of your company too," she teased.

"Well I rather think a toast is in order then!" he cried triumphantly. She laughed and raised her drink. He held up his drink in a solemn manner and tried to hold onto his serious expression, though his eyes danced with hers. "To my taming and/or corruption of Lily Evans, a feat once thought impossible by friend and foe alike," he declared. She rolled her eyes.

"To my cessation to enemy forces, a feat once thought to be the apocalypse, but which in reality only culminated in the destruction of any form of rational thought I may have previously owned," she drawled.

"Hear, hear!" he said, scolding their glasses together. She took a sip of her butterbeer, surprised that it did not taste as she remembered. It seemed…dulled somehow. The blessedly warm wash it usually gave her seemed to pale in comparison to the already noxious stirrings of heat in her stomach and heart as his foot tried to play with hers beneath the table. She knew it was horrendously childish and immature, but she felt a dimple form in her cheek from where she bit back her smile and kicked him lightly back. He grinned. What was it about him that affected her so? Was it that she was so overwhelmed by him, or was it that he seemed so overwhelmed by her?

She didn't care to examine, and so pushed the thoughts away. Sometimes she felt too frustrated by everything he made her feel because she didn't want their relationship to be the icky sweet temporary romance of a school crush. She wanted to stay herself, and not fall into the ploy of loosing all sense of reality outside of him, but it was hard when he stared at her like nothing else mattered and she was hard-pressed not to agree.

"Have you received your Auror application yet? I got mine in the post this morning," she asked. His face fell somewhat into a more serious expression.

"Yes," he said shortly, then shook his head. "I don't know why I'm so bitter about it. I glanced over the questions on it and it doesn't seem too difficult. Or rather, I know what my responses should be."

She sighed. "You're lucky. I don't have the first clue where to begin. The first five pages seem to just be a questionnaire, but the essays look dreadful."

James grinned. "They're supposed to be dreadful. They're essays."

"Ha ha," she said, but suddenly she felt the intense urge to share something with him, something she had never shared with anyone before. She looked away. "I sometimes wonder if it's just a waste. My application, I mean. I know that I've done well in school, but that doesn't really say much about what I have to offer. It's not as if I'm a great candidate, being a Muggleborn, being a girl. Sometimes I feel like I should focus on other things so that when they decline my application I'll have something else to fall back on, but nothing really interests me like becoming an Auror does. I wish it did. I wish I could find something that I know I'd be good at, where I know I'd belong. Sometimes, my future seems so hopeless."

James's hand suddenly in hers, squeezing hers painfully, drew her attention to the sharp look in his eyes. "óåçðïõ ïàäÝí, ðóíôó ä´ åçðéæåéí ÷ñåõô," he said. She blinked several times. "It's Ancient Greek. It's by Euripides. It means: Nothing is hopeless; we must hope for everything. I won't lie to you: being a girl and being a Muggleborn will count against you. As much as I'd like to believe that our system is getting better at putting aside old prejudices, it's nowhere near what it needs to and should be. But you're a great witch, Lily, and the only girl I know that I'd want at my side, and that I wouldn't have to worry about, if I were in a dire situation. I admire the fact that you're willing to risk your future if it means not accepting anything less than what you really want. It gives me hope."

He looked away from her, almost shyly. "I have to confess that ever since you said you wanted to be an Auror, it's changed what I thought about my future. It was exciting suddenly, because I could picture what it'd be like, to have you there with me, in training and by my side. Even if we never got together, it's been a reassuring thought. I wouldn't be bored if you were with me. I wouldn't have to worry that I was going to end up like my father. I wouldn't have to worry about losing you. So don't say you wouldn't belong, because it's too easy for me to envision you there."

"You wouldn't be afraid I'd get hurt?" she said, and she seemed surprised and happy. He looked down at their hands, and remembered that day after OWLs by the lake when she had said that she didn't want him to defend her.

"Of course I'd be afraid, but that doesn't mean that I don't trust you to be able to handle yourself. It's been hard, but I've learned that it's not fair for me to say that I genuinely care about you if I can't have faith in you to be the person I care for. You've never given me any reason to doubt that you can take care of yourself. I guess sometimes I just felt like you shouldn't always have to."

She looked stunned by his words. "I always felt like you thought I couldn't handle it on my own. It made me so angry. I think I just never wanted people to believe that I was dependent on others in order to take care of myself. I wanted others to see me as strong, capable. I didn't want you to look at me and feel like you had to come to my rescue because that's what's expected."

He grinned. "You are strong, and I never came to your rescue because I thought you couldn't handle it. I just always wanted you to know that I was on your side, that I was with you."

"You're such a prat," she said smiling, and he squeezed her fingers in her own again.

"So I hear," he drawled, finishing the last of his butterbeer. Eyes glittering with delight, he added casually, "It must be the company I keep that brings out such fine qualities."

She glared at his winning smile. "Now, now, I can't take all of the credit. Some of your character flaws are completely capable of expressing themselves without my presence. Like your firm belief in the fact that you're anything more than a marvelous idiot, for example," she said. He laughed, placed a couple of coins on the table to pay for their drinks and a tip, and stood up, reaching out his hand to her. For a moment, she looked at that hand, before graciously accepting it and standing.

"See?" he said. "How dare you even think of depriving me of your wonderful wit? Just think of the disaster it could cause. For a single moment, I might possibly disillusion myself into believing that you hold a tremendous affection for me."

"Well with that threat hanging over my head, I suppose I shall have to become an Auror, and never leave your side," she said sarcastically. His intense gaze caught hers, and though a smile still tugged at his lips, an entirely different expression hung in his eyes.

"Good," he whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear, as though he was not sure he wanted her to. Heat spread through her cheeks, and she didn't dare look at him. She tried to think about how she wasn't at all smitten with him, and how incredible he made her feel about what life had in store for them. They walked for a time in silence, her focus barely on the fact that he was leading her back to the castle, and how his arm brushed hers with every other step. She wanted to take his hand, but was afraid. Already she was losing so much of herself to him, and it was so easy being by his side. She didn't want to be dependent on him, but now that she had finally realized that he had never thought she was, it was possible she was beginning to be. Did that mean she should distance herself from him, or further embrace what was building between them? She thought that once they were together that things would settle and the confusion would leave, but she was even more confused than before.

She couldn't deny what she felt for him, she realized. They had spent too long on that already, but she couldn't totally embrace everything he made her feel or else she would close off the rest of the world. She needed to find a balance between the two. When the world was all around, when people were watching and when she had other responsibilities, he could only be a shadow; but when they were alone, when it was just them, he could have of her whatever he desired. The thought made her shiver as she felt his arm brush hers again. She cared for him in a way she had never thought possible to care for someone, like there was an endlessly deep cavern inside her heart where he dwelled, that she could spend forever getting lost in and never feel despair. She cared for him deeper than she wanted to admit, but she knew that she couldn't allow her life to be wrapped around his.

He stopped walking suddenly, and she paused to look back at him. Something about the intensity of his gaze made her feel as though he could read every thought in her head. He looked almost nervous, and he shoved his empty hand in his pocket so he wouldn't ruffle his hair. She smiled coyly and raised an eyebrow. "What is it?" she asked.

"Can I kiss you goodnight? I just thought that since I promised to be a gentleman back at the Tower, that I'd ask now before it's too late."

She felt warmth a thousand times more exciting than Butterbeer flood through her stomach, her heart floating on top of it, almost out of place like the roof of a house after a heavy rainstorm. She grinned at his shy question, wondering how it was possible to even think she could deny him. "If you'd like," she said, and he grinned his mesmerizing smile that she was always so surprised to find she was the cause of. He dropped their bags, and reached for her, pulling her close and wrapping her up in his arms. She loved the feeling of it, loved how safe it made her feel. Her arms folded up between them, her hands splayed across his chest, the icy feeling in them ebbing away as she felt how quick his heart was beating. She could hear her own heart in her ears, flying just as fast, and she wondered if it had ever beat like that for anything other than him. Their warm breaths clouded softly in the cool night air, brushing against each other's cheeks and causing shivers to run down their spines. The dark ink black of night melted with the outlines of his hair, and deepened the look of focused desire in his eyes. She wondered if he thought her trembling was from the cold.

Softly, slowly, he let his lips find hers. Her eyes slipped closed, and she did it without thinking about it. The overwhelming feeling a being washed away by a tidal wave of pleasure left her barely able to stand, let alone see. He continued to kiss her as his hands stroked through her hair and bound her almost flesh up against him, his movements intense and purposeful. Lily realized in a distant part of her brain that when you kissed the right person, no matter how many times or ways you did it, your stomach was always be replaced with either fireworks or marshmallows. She felt dizzy when he finally pulled away, unsure of just how much time had passed.

"We should get back," she said, feeling like her entire body was blushing under his ministrations and the open night around them. He frowned, as though he had not drawn back to give her air just so she could blow him off.

"Not yet," he whispered, still entranced with how red and delicious and pliant her lips were looking, begging to be devoured by his own. She moaned as he kissed her again, though he wasn't completely sure it was in protest. After a moment though, he could feel her pushing against him with her hands and pulled back.

He buried his face in her neck, though he knew his affections towards her were more forward than she was entirely comfortable with. He made sure his hands never wandered away from safe places on her form, and distracted them when they begged to touch more of her by combing through her hair or gripping at her waist. He knew that for being a new couple, they had definitely moved fast. Still, she had to know that he was serious about her by now and that he wasn't just using her for physical intimacy. They might have only officially been together since she had first kissed him, but their original courtship had lasted years. It really was not his fault that he was half-desperate at every given moment to kiss her, and it really rather was a testament to his character that he had only acted on that intense driving need when entirely appropriate.

When he pulled back to look at her and smile, he was surprised by the completely foreign look on her face. He had been sure that he knew every expression she was capable of making, and yet this one was completely new and completely undecipherable. "What is it?" he whispered to her shining eyes.

"I want to remember this for always. You can never go back to a moment in time when you're truly happy, and I'm not ready to give this one up yet, not when it's so perfect, not when it's so real," she said, deliriously captured in his arms and eyes and heart.

"I love you," he whispered, the words slipping from his heart to his tongue before he even realized it. He felt his heart clench when he saw her breath catch, and because he did not want to make her feel awkward, he buried his face into her neck again, inhaling deeply the musky sweet jasmine scent she always seemed to carry, believing the words with his entire being. He felt her nestle into his chest as though trying to burrow her way deeper inside of him, and he felt his heart splinter into a thousand pieces with joy. He didn't know how it was possible to be so happy and in so much pain at the same time, only he had never felt so complete in his entire life. There was nothing to fight, nothing work for, nothing to change. He had only to breathe to feel alive in the most pure way he had ever known.

"We really should get back," she whispered after a moment of indulgence. Reluctantly he pulled himself away from her to pick up their bags and toss the Invisibility Cloak around them once more.

FAQs:

why has this taken so incredibly long to come out?

I never wanted to be one of those fanfic authors that took more than two weeks to update let alone over a month. It upsets me as much as it does you, I'm sure. I want to be working on beautiful contradictions. I have just had some real-life issues 3000 miles away that needed my attention for the past month. Many apologies to my faithful readers. Your reviews and emails are what keep me from stopping altogether sometimes.

when is the next part coming out?

As soon as humanly possible. Being gone for a month means I am failing all of my classes and I have come back to midterms. I also have work. I reiterate: I do want to be working on bc, I just need time. The best way to find out about updates is to check out my bio, which gives notices about when and what is coming out, and usually about delays.

why are you so anal about some grammatical structures and so blatantly bad with others?

Several people have brought up some grammatical quirks of mine that I justify through poetic license. I don't like quotation marks. I think they are ugly. I use them in fanfiction because I know it is easier for other people to understand. However, often times I will use them incorrectly. It is not that I don't know the rules, I just don't like the rules, so I don't follow it. I also use run-on sentences and awkward structuring. In my best defense, English is not my first language. Mostly though, I am just quirky. Sorry if that bothers some of you.

why don't you put breaks in places where there should be breaks?

I do, but I also type this is html, and I have yet to find a code for a divider that ffn does not erase. I am working on it. Sorry!

is not consistent with the books.

Thank you. I love when people point out inconsistencies with the books to me. I want to make this as realistic as possible, and it's frustrating when you read something and it doesn't fall in place with the way you see it. This is not an invitation to get nit-picky about plausibility, but a thank you to those who have noticed little things that have helped me to revise and make this story better.

how long is this going to be?

This is only going to be as long as seventh year. I do not plan on doing anything l/j after that. Please don't ask me to continue it because I am susceptible to guilt and I really want to try some other pairings after this.

why haven't you reviewed my story after I asked if you'd check it out?

If you asked before I left a month ago, then I have probably read your fic and have enjoyed it and was a jerk and did not review. I am a horrible person for that, I know, but generally I only review fanfics when it inspires me to write better and when I am in the mood. I think I have reviewed a total of maybe twenty fics since I joined a couple years ago. ::inserts guilty look here::. It's not that I don't like your writing or that I'm a prude…I am just lazy. Sorry! I don't mean to offend anyone. Please don't take it personally.

AN: as for the ancient greek, I had to improvise on some characters. Hopefully you all can see it. If not, blah.

okay, my turn to ask some questions! Very, very tentatively, would anyone be interested in buying this is book-form? Only cafepress will print them and I would only charge what that costs and not extra to make any money. I ask because a lot of people have expressed how much they like this fic (hugs and cookies to you all!), and I know how cool it would be if my favorite authors started doing it so I could have awesome fanfics in book-form too. Just curious.

Also, I was wondering if people prefer the longer chapters I've been writing, or is that tedious, and would you prefer shorter chapters?

And, of course, would you be wonderful and review? Because I love those who do!