Disclaimer: this part is annoying but I feel it necessary
Note: Wow. Okay. I know I say it before every chapter, but thank you for all the comments/favorites/follows or just simply stopping by to read. It gives me such a good feeling. And you guys are so encouraging! You know, you can say something not-so-nice if you want; I promise I wont take it badly. But if you truly don't have anything negative to say than I'm glad too lol. Just wanted to put it out there since several of you have expressed concerns over it, I promise that there will be a happy ending. I don't think I have it in me to write a tragedy because I like happy endings too much lol. Also, not to give too much away I hope, but there is some foreshadowing in this chapter. If you care to take a guess, feel free. Enjoy!
~~~~~SVU~~~~~
Amanda and Olivia spent the entire next day sleeping, only waking up just before sunset by their hungry stomachs. Amanda hunted and cooked as quickly (and lazily) as possible, despite Olivia's protests that fruits and vegetables from the garden would be sufficient, and together they devoured the meal. Amanda checked on Liv's wounds before they once again returned to sleep. When they next awoke, it was midday the next day. They both felt much better after their rest. Olivia's side was still painful, but she was shocked to see, the next time Amanda redid the wrappings, that the wounds looked less red and even more closed-up than she expected. According to Amanda, her dragon-blood had chased away the infection and was now working to heal and sew the wound quicker than Liv's would on its own. With the human's permission, she let more of her blood flow into it, earning a sigh of relief from Liv. "It numbs the pain," she explained when Amanda gave her a questioning look. Amanda was pleased she was able to help in such a way. She hunted and cooked again. They were eating in silence when Olivia declared it time to ask her questions. "So now that I know what you are, am I allowed to ask you questions? 'Cause I gotta tell ya, I'm really curious."
Amanda chuckled, "I supposed there is no harm in that; I expected you would be. Ask away."
Olivia grinned before asking one of her questions at random, "What did you look like when you could transform into a dragon?"
"We were all generally smaller than what the dragons had been before we could transform, and females are smaller than males, but by human standards I was big and tall enough that I would probably just barely fit in this room. My scales were blue, darker than my eyes but not as dark as my wings are. I had two horns on the crest of my head, black claws, long teeth. I looked as most of my kind looked, but my father and several of the other males in the villages used to tell me my dragon form was beautiful- that I would be quite desirable when I reached full maturity."
"Could you breathe fire?"
Amanda shook her head, "No. Only mature dragons can. I was only teenaged when everything happened."
"How come only mature dragons can do it? Is that why not every dragon who attacks us breaths fire on us?"
"We have an organ we call our fire bladder that isn't fully developed until maturity. It's somewhere close to our lungs," she pointed to the center of her chest to demonstrate where it was, "It's basically this sac that's full of a combustible gas. When a dragon wants to breathe fire, it opens the sac so air gets in and ignites the gas. Then we just expel the fire, like a human would a belch. And yes. That is why only some of the dragons you've come across breathe fire. When the change happened, it stopped their aging."
This made Olivia pause as a thought occurred to her, "But what about the children of your village? Or infants? Did they change?"
Amanda looked down in sadness, "The disease killed may children and infants. Some, if they were on the cusp of teenagehood, were able to make it to their teenage years before they changed. Any pregnant female lost her child before she snapped."
They fell into a moment of silence as Liv allowed Amanda to grieve. Then she cleared her throat and changed the subject, "What other abilities did you have?"
Glad for the subject change, Amanda looked back up, "Well, young dragons, since they could not breathe fire, were able to expel a thick, acidic fluid while in dragon form. Before the fire bladder fully develops and is able to produce gas, it produces this fluid that a younger dragon can use. It would corrode basically anything, and it stank incredibly bad. Just the smell could disorient a foe. We were taught at a young age to fight though the instinct was inside all of us at birth. We have incredible night vision and senses in general. Flight is a given. Um… Oh, we used to eat metal and gold with our meals because it would make our scales stronger and brighter in color… I think that's basically it. Every dragon had those abilities; some even had more. Our leader, for example, had the power of telekinesis, which had been passed down through his family for generations. I had a childhood friend who could control plants. Dragons were always very close with magic though, after the gift was spread, that was watered down a bit; human bodies aren't the best hosts for magic even if it is possible."
Olivia was fascinated to being learning so much. "What about that eye-glowing thing you can do?"
Amanda's face suddenly took on a sheepish look, "Actually I had no idea I could do that. Supposedly, that is supposed to be a purely Alpha-dragon ability." At Olivia's look of confusion, she explained, "Alpha dragons are the leaders. They're special from birth. Our leader was an Alpha. They're usually born into a family where at least one of their parents was an Alpha. They have more abilities than average dragons, are bigger, stronger, faster, and are able to speak telepathically with those under their status as well as with their mate. They're natural-born leaders and usually seek out leadership. I had never seen this but I used to be told that, when an Alpha wants to let others know he or she is an Alpha or when he or she wants to challenge another Alpha, their eyes and maybe other parts of their body glow and they…" Amanda trailed off, getting a faraway look in her eyes.
"What?" Olivia pressed, "They what?"
Amanda's eyes blankly locked back onto Olivia's, "They behave exactly as I did at the cliff."
They both paused in shock. Then Olivia asked, "So are you an Alpha?"
Amanda seemed to think that over before she got this horrified look on her face, "No! No. I- I can't be. Neither of my parents were. Or anyone else in my family as far as I know."
"But you said they're only usually born into it," Liv pointed out.
Amanda gaped like a fish, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly. Then she finally said, "I'm not bigger or stronger or faster! I can't communicate telepathically with anyone or have other abilities! I'm not a leader nor would I want to be!"
"I don't know," Liv said slowly, "You certainly possess the qualities of a good leader to me. You're kind; you protect; you have taken good care of my wounds. And when the disease took hold, you weren't full grown yet. So maybe you just never came into your abilities."
Amanda was silent as she thought that over. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of possibly being an Alpha-dragon. She shook herself visibly, "Whether I am, it does not matter. I am the only one left still in human form anyway. And the wild dragons cannot be controlled or ruled."
Olivia wasn't convinced. Her gut was telling her there was something there, something meaningful. But she could tell the idea was making Amanda uncomfortable, so she let it drop and asked another question, "So when you told me you eat the heart and liver of an animal raw, you said that they were tasty and high in protein. That true?"
"Well yes, but not completely," she admitted. "I do find them tasty and they are high in protein. But they also help me to control the grasp on my humanity."
Liv looked cautious, "I didn't realize that was a problem."
"Well it's not a huge problem. I mean, I don't feel like I'm going to snap at any minute. It's just… ever since I was infected, I have felt… clogged. We have- well, had a wildness in us that was released and tampered when we changed forms. Since I've been stuck like this, however, my wildness has been building up. Maybe that is what the disease did to the others, made those instincts too hard to control until they snapped. But I haven't changed like the rest; it's been slow for me. I was stuck in human form for years until my wings popped out and wouldn't go back in. That made it worse. It's like, while it happened all at once for everyone else, it's literally a step-by-incredibly-slow-step process for me. Who knows what I'll lose control of next."
Liv relaxed as Amanda trailed off, "Well you seem to have pretty good control over it all things considered."
"Practice I guess," Amanda shrugged before a sheepish look overcame her face, "I understand if that makes you nervous, if you want me to stay away."
"No," Liv responded instantly, reaching out to touch Amanda's hand; she was so focused on ridding that look from the blonde's face that she didn't recognize the bolt of electricity that went up her arm. "I don't completely understand what you're feeling but I understand enough. I've seen with my own eyes that you aren't like them, some kind of monster. So no, I don't want you to stay away. At all."
"But you would tell me if you did?" Amanda looked at her with pleading eyes.
Liv smiled kindly, "I promise."
Amanda relaxed and smiled back. It was then that they both realized Liv's hand was still resting on and gently squeezing Amanda's. They both looked down at it, but it took Liv a moment to snatch her hand away. When she did, the skin that had previously been touching the other's was tingling, and they both longed for more. Then Liv cleared her throat and forced herself to move on to another topic, "So how high can you fly?"
Amanda smiled widely, "As high as I can go before the air gets too thin."
"What's it like?"
"It's incredible," Amanda sighed dreamily, "Those years that I didn't have my wings were the worst of my life. I love to fly, to feel the air whizzing by me, the clouds passing in a blur, my wings pumping to carry me higher or faster or lying flat to divide the wind perfectly as I glide. I feel like I get as close to the heavens as anyone can get in this life. I can be up there with the clouds and the sun or the moon and the stars as my companions, and I can forget all that has happened down here. If only for a small while. It's my haven up there. I wish I could show you; words just don't do the feeling justice."
Olivia felt warm inside at the tone of Amanda's words, the lust and dreaminess. The words themselves sounded like the most beautiful poetry to Liv's ears, and she found herself wishing she could somehow go up there with Amanda just to feel what she described. She wanted to ask if it were possible, if Amanda could somehow take her flying with her, but she didn't want to come off the wrong way. So she settled with a more neutral statement, "Maybe one day I'll be able to get up there with you."
Amanda liked the idea. She wanted to offer the experience; she was pretty sure if they found the right position, Amanda could hold the human as she flew. But she wasn't sure their relationship was ready for that. Maybe one day, like Liv had said. She smiled and nodded, "Maybe."
They fell into an easy silence as they both fantasized about flying together. Then a thought occurred to Olivia, "Wait. How did you get me back here that first night? After the attack."
"I umm held you as we rode atop Coffee's back. We both worked together to get you here." At Liv's confused look, Amanda explained simply, "She ran, I flapped my wings to give us more speed."
"Like you were doing when you took her out the other day."
It wasn't a question but Amanda nodded. "Coffee loved it. I think she enjoys the speed."
Olivia chuckled, "That sounds about right. I swear that horse is just the animal version of me. When I would practice with her back home, sometimes we would just run as fast as she could go around the ring. I would close my eyes and just let her let loose." She paused as a thought occurred to her, "Ya know, you could take her out with you in the mornings or before nightfall? Make sure she gets her adrenaline fix for the day and keeps you company while you hunt for us?"
Amanda looked at the human with an indecipherable look as she asked, "You would be okay with that?"
"Well yah," Liv shrugged, "Why not? You've already done it."
Amanda looked away. She couldn't tell Liv that she didn't know how to handle this new level of trust. Sure, she had been trusted to ride Coffee before. But that had been before, before she found out what Amanda was. And that had ended very badly. Did Olivia really trust her now? Or did she just feel guilty and in-debited to Amanda? Amanda was just waiting for the moment when the human changed her mind again, when she realized she had been right back when she hated and mistrusted the dragon-woman.
"Hey," Liv said softly, refraining from touching Amanda again this time around. When Amanda looked back at her, she said softly, "I'm sorry. I don't mind saying it again. I was wrong before, to misjudge you like that. I trust you now more than ever. Truly, I do. And I'll prove it to you, no matter how long it takes."
Amanda was pleasantly shocked by that declaration. After letting the words seep in, she found herself trusting that the human would do just that. Despite her fear of being rejected again, she found herself opening to the idea of letting the human earn her trust and visa versa. She smiled, "Okay."
Liv smiled back before launching into more questions. She asked a lot of pointless things, about the forest and Amanda's village and family and whatever else she could think of, just to keep Amanda talking with her. She also told Amanda to ask about her too, though Liv had told her most of her life story already. The conversation was easy and comfortable; the two beings sitting close, talking, laughing, taking interest in everything the other had to say. Amanda slowly felt a weight being lifted off of her as the human opened herself. She found she didn't want to keep any secrets from the human and told her everything she thought of about her past. Liv responded in kind by telling her about her mother and all her exploits. Neither felt like the other judged them and it was wonderful. It was like they'd been friends for a long time rather than just a few days. Eventually, the conversation was stopped by the loud growling of Liv's hungry stomach. Amanda laughed at Liv's blush and sheepish apology and hunted and cooked as usual, noticing it was nearly night; they'd spent the whole day talking. When she brought the meal to the human, Liv smiled widely up at her and said, "I'll be fat by the time I leave here."
Amanda chuckled before the statement really sank in. She had somewhat forgotten that the human would leave. Not that Amanda expected her to stay because she didn't. She knew Liv had a life to get back to, friends and a commitment to her duty as Sergeant Assassin. But she realized she would be extremely sad to see the human go. She had grown accustomed to her being there and the ritual they had fallen into. She had grown used to not feeling alone. She wanted to ask if the human would visit again sometime when she didn't have obligations to the trade. But she couldn't ask Liv to take such a risk so she continued eating in silence, watching with amusement as the human devoured her meal like she was starving.
~~~~~SVU~~~~~
Almost three weeks had passed since Liv first left home for the first trade of the season. After a couple more times of sharing Amanda's blood, Liv's side wounds had almost completely healed. They would leave a nasty scar but at least they weren't infected and had closed nicely. She would be ready for travel within a few days. Liv had started light training to regain some of the strength she had lost. With Amanda's approval, she started with a half hour of exercise. She would stretch, go for a slow jog around Amanda's property, and box and/or practice with her sword before Amanda would put a firm end to things before Liv could overexert herself. Liv would pout and Amanda would have to hide her affectionate smile. Thankfully for Liv, it was only a few days when Amanda allowed her to bump it up to an hour or two. Olivia was glad to get out of the nest and back on her feet again. She begged Amanda to workout with her, to fly alongside her as she ran and give her a moving target to attack. At first, the blonde protested, content to watch the soldier and unwilling to hurt her. But the human insisted and Amanda couldn't say no to that pout for too long. So during the morning sunbathing hours, human and dragon-woman raced through the woods together. Sometimes, Liv would run while Amanda flew close by her side while other times Olivia would dare Amanda to a race. The human would run as fast as she could, taunting the dragon lightheartedly and sing-songing, "You can't catch me!" Amanda would laugh and chase after her. She could easily overtake the human while flying. But she rather enjoyed the victorious smile that would light Liv's face when she made it back to the house first. When she allowed Liv to use her for fighting practice, she gave Liv about 75 percent effort; she really didn't want to hurt the human but she knew Liv would be able to tell if she went too easy on her. At first, it was enough since Liv was only just gaining strength back. But soon, Liv was demanding that Amanda give her more. And then even more. Amanda gave in, but still made sure to hold back any moves that would harm or fell the human. She would dodge out of the way of blows, rolling across the ground, jumping out of the way, or zipping into the air. She would block punches. But anything offensive was always weaker than she was capable of. She didn't mind when, each time, Liv would eventually force her to the ground on her back or stomach and hold her sword to her neck. She would smile victoriously before helping the blonde up. They spent much of their time laughing and feeling happy and carefree. Both women could only imagine what the sight of them must look like. Two beings from different sides of an on-going war mock-fighting, racing, laughing, eating, and sleeping together in the same space.
As time went on however and Liv's wounds healed and strength came back, both women could feel Liv's departure arriving in the back of their minds, and neither was exactly happy about it. Liv was torn being missing Elliot, the other Assassins, and the life she had back in Airia and not wanting to leave Amanda. If she didn't feel like she had to go back, she would seriously consider staying with Amanda forever. But that was just it; she HAD to go back. She couldn't just abandon the job she had sworn herself to. She couldn't leave her friends, especially Elliot. She certainly couldn't let them go on thinking she was dead, which she knew they would be. It was the only logical explanation after an attack like that. After Liv didn't come home after a few days, they would've declared her dead and given an empty casket a funeral in her name. She hated to think about how her friends had taken it, how El had taken it. She wondered if Alex knew. Word of the attack had probably spread through each city in the Kingdom as usual, but even then sometimes people missed the news. However, she was fairly certain that Elliot would probably have felt it necessary to get word to Alex specifically, given that he knew their history. She wondered how Alex had handled it as she touched the necklace that was still incredibly around her neck. She felt sick at the thought of her two best friends breaking down at the news of her death. She needed to return so she could chase away their unnecessary grief. But it would be so hard to leave the blonde behind.
She wondered if she could ask Amanda to come back with her. Would that seem too forward, too weird? How would she react? She wasn't afraid that Amanda would reject her; she expected it. After all, there was no way Amanda could walk into the city with those wings of hers. Hell, she would probably not even make it beyond the edge of the woods. And even if she covered them like she had the first days Liv was with her, she would get too much attention. People would look at her oddly because of her "deformity" or even mock her. Those who didn't would want to ask about her, her life, how she knew Liv, what she was doing in the city. The more attention the higher chance of someone finding out. And Olivia was not willing to risk that. But it was obvious that Amanda wasn't happy with her life. She was lonely and constantly on the edge. She was, pardon the term, a freak to both humans and dragons alike, a being with one leg in each world. Liv wanted to give her something better. After such a short time, they were the best of friends, but Liv couldn't deny it was also something else. Liv cared about Amanda and Amanda cared about Liv. She wanted to take care of Amanda like she had done for her. She wanted to make her happy, but she didn't know how to do it. Maybe it simply wasn't possible. Maybe it would just be better to accept things as they were like Amanda had done. Yes, that's what she had to do, Liv told herself, forcing her thoughts of bring the blonde home with her from her mind. Liv belonged in her world and Amanda belonged in hers… Right?
Finally, one night as Amanda and Liv were sitting outside, finishing dinner while watching the sunset, their shoulders leaning together, Amanda reluctantly breached the subject they'd been trying so hard to avoid. "Since you're wounds are healed, if you are ready, we can leave for Airia tomorrow morning?"
Liv stayed silent for a moment, thinking that over. She wasn't ready to leave, but she knew it was time. Putting on a fake smile, she looked over at the blonde, and lied, "That sounds good." Amanda did her best to faux-smile back before they both turned to finished watching the sunset in silence though their thoughts were on the day ahead.
