I'm not even going to put a disclaimer here; since you all know, I don't need to say it/
Anyway, here it is: by popular demand, the Bonus chapter! If at all offended, feel free to say so! (I'm especially worried about the KKK reference I put into this chapter.)
Without further ado, THE SHOW STOPPER!
Bonus chapter: Boombox (The Lonely Island)
The days had been average villain-days for the Music Meister. Going to jail, breaking out, laying low, going on a crime-spree, running afoul of Batman and Robin, going back to jail…it was starting to feel like his life had a…rhythm to it.
In fact, that rhythm was only broken a few times, like the one time when Music Meister wanted to try an experiment: can his hypnotic voice be transmitted electronically? Can his siren-enhanced voice, when translated into the vibrations of a speaker, still have the same controlling effect? If so, a new way to commit his crimes would present itself.
To that end, he recorded a small little song onto a CD, all the while thinking about dancing. The members of the Ensemble around him, who weren't wearing earplugs during the recording, were dancing, proving that the hypnosis works in person. Now, all that was left was to see if his mental choreography would carry over into the electronic version.
So, he put the CD into a recently-pilfered Boombox, and handed it over to a member of the Ensemble nicknamed 'DJ' (the nickname arose from his skill at 'mixing things up'), who took it and left.
A mere two days later, DJ walked into the hideout, a less-than-satisfied look on his face. He was constantly muttering something to himself, which was inaudible at first. What caught the Music Meister's attention was the fact that he wasn't carrying the Boombox. He walked over to the slumping minion, and inquired: "Where is the Boombox I gave you, DJ? If the police find it, they could trace it back to us! Why did you leave it at all?"
DJ didn't answer the question, but kept on mumbling. The Music Meister was able to make out a few sentences: "…it was horrible…I don't get paid enough for this…if I ever get assigned something like that again-"
"SILENCE! Now, answer my question!"
After a second, DJ looked at his boss, and said: "…Do you really want to know?"
A stern look from his boss provided the answer. DJ motioned over to one of the soundproof recording stations that the Music Meister uses to practice his hypnotic melodies. Once they were inside, DJ proceeded to take some deep breaths, and then, started…rapping his story, while Music Meister commented periodically.
Imagine in your mind a posh country club,
The stuffy old money where the poor get snubbed.
The spread is bland, Sauerkraut and Boiled Goose;
("Ugh, I hate Sauerkraut. I can't make a judgement on the goose, though.")
There's no way these people will ever cut loose!
But then I walk in the room, hold my Boombox high,
And what happened next will blow your mind!
Everything got out of control-
The music was so entrancing…
Everyone got out on the floor;
It was a bunch of old white people dancing.
("Well, I'd hardly see that as a reason to be upset. You've proved my theory right, but you were disappointed when I saw you. Tell me why.")
Now, picture, if you will, a bunch of Businessmen
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen!
The ties around their necks are like a hangman's noose;
In the middle of the table, there's a Boiled Goose.
("More Boiled Goose? And the snack-food of choice during a meeting, no less! ")
The old-people-smell makes you wanna puke in the sink;
'These dudes'll never dance!' Yeah, that's what you think!
("Where this is going, I probably won't be thinking it for very long…")
I stride in the room, all young and hip,
Hold up my Boombox-and say, "Listen to this!"
Then everyone started to move!
People rejoiced instead of financing.
Your preconceived notions were shattered
By these super-old white people dancing.
("Still no reason for you to be worried. That means there must be more to this story. Carry on.")
The Big Apple, where people never dance;
Spirits go down while profits expand!
The Cops or the Dealers-who's got the juice?
("Meh. They're not as corrupt as this city's 'Ku-Klux-Kops.'")
The street-vendors peddling their Boiled Goose.
("I had no idea that Boiled Goose was so popular")
So many types of people, they'll never get along
'Till I bust out my Boombox and play this song!
("And? Were you able to affect such a huge crowd?")
The music washed away all their hate,
And society started advancing!
("Not necessarily something associated with villainy, but it'll cover our tracks a little. Nice work.")
Every demographic was represented,
It was a rainbow coalition of dancing!
Woooaaahh
Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves…
("Pointless detail, DJ. Pointless detail.")
Woooaaahh
I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman.
("If that's what you were upset about, your days in my payroll are numbered. I merely thought about dancing in general when recording that song, and if that Spanish thought the Bartman was dancing, then he obeyed the commands in the song.")
Transport now to an old-folks home,
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittled bones.
The orderlies are stealing-There's no excuse!
Every day for lunch they eat Boy-Illed Goose…
("OK, I'm starting to think you're making up the Boiled Goose part because you're short on rhyming words. Get straight to the point.")
So I grab my Boombox, and hit the TURBO BASS;
("For those whose hearing had degraded, I see.")
And what happened next was a total disgrace!
("So this is what made you leave the Boombox behind!")
Everybody started having sex!
("…EEEWWW!")
The music was way too powerful,-
A bunch of Old people fucking like rabbits!
It was disgusting to say the least…
("All of a sudden, you're justified in leaving it behind! I wouldn't want the extra weight either!")
Woah,
A Boombox can change the world
But you gotta know your limits with a Boombox.
Now this was a cautionary tale-
A BOOMBOX IS NOT A TOY!
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
The Ensemble did manage to retrieve the Boombox before the police could find it. As for the Music Meister, he proved that, at a safe volume, his voice could still hypnotize in its electronic version. He instructed those members of the Ensemble that had the task of preparing electronic devices for his newest hypnosis-spree to never ever hit anything that looks like a 'Turbo Bass.'
DJ eventually recovered, and became the Music Meister's bodyguard.
Some will note that the Music Meister was alone (a 'solo act,' if you will) in 'Mayhem'. I explain this by saying that he will eventually abandon DJ and the Ensemble.
Anyway, there's the bonus chapter! Review if you liked!
If you want more, check out my earlier Teen Titans-related works. I'm planning to write another story in that category soon, so watch out!
