I'm back with another update yallz! Sorry if I'm a little slow, but at least it's happening! haha and thanks so much for the lovely reviews! I like them lots.


"Sam?" Your steps are loud as you enter your bedroom, his figure occupying the bed with a quietness that frightens you. "I've come by to pick up some clothes." He's sitting on the edge of the bed, back turned to you and looking at a picture of you and him on the bedside counter. You remember that picture, you're smiling together in high school, him kissing your cheek as you stand behind a show choir trophy. "Sam?" His eyes drift to you, barely holding your gaze as he turns back to the picture unperturbed.

"Fine." He says.

You stand in the doorway, unable to move, "I can come back later…"

"It's fine." He says, eyes glued to the picture frame. His hair is ruffled, like he just woke up and he looks worn.

You finally step into the bedroom, going for your drawer to look for some tops that don't have animals printed on them. It's quiet as you shuffle through your clothes, not bothering to look back at Sam as he sits behind you.

"How could you do this to us." His voice is above a whisper, barely audible over the sounds of the morning.

"What?"

"You know what I said." He repeats, turning towards you. His face is a desperate plea, begging for you to explain yourself to him in a way that makes this okay. You're afraid you don't have that answer.

Your clothes settle in your hands, your fingers shaky as you are afraid to continue the conversation, "I didn't mean to hurt you Sam." You don't recognize your own voice, unsteady as it leaves your mouth.

Devious laughter is heard under his breath, "Of course you didn't."

You sigh, unable to hold yourself up as your hands grip the edge of the drawer.

"I can't believe I thought we would get married." He says.

You turn to him, watching as he shakes his head back and forth lightly, "I didn't know this was going to happen."

"Yeah, well neither did I."

You think back to a moment when you thought Sam was enough for you, you think you'll never feel that same way again. You pick out another top, folding it softly on the top of the drawer in front of you.

"We were going to get married Santana and you just threw that all away."

"I didn't just throw it all away." You say calmly, staring at your clothes.

"I loved you so much, I still love you so much Santana." He says.

His words float over your head like a distant kite.

"I love you Sam but-"

"We can make this work Santana." His voice is eager, full of hope.

"Sam I don't think-"

"We can get through this and we can still make this work-"

"Sam stop," Your voice is stonewalled, demanding him to stop speaking, "We can't make this work anymore." You look at him, your eyes watery from the disappointment you feel in yourself. "This is not going to work..."

He's fiddling with his hands, looking down at the ground as words fail to leave his mouth.

"I just...I…"

"Because you're in love with Brittany." He states.

You turn back around, muted as you get lost in the colors of your wardrobe. You can't tell him outloud.

"Say it." He demands softly.

You swallow hard, unable to move as his demand looms in your ear. "I didn't...I didn't think-"

"We've been together for five years Santana...I deserve something real from you." He says. His voice is bland now, waiting for you to say something real and you can't bring yourself to mutter a single word. He waits longer, silence overtaking you as your heart beats louder.

You hear a clink on the countertop behind you and you hear Sam getting to his feet.

"I'm going to work." He says, every ounce of him giving up on you.

"Sam…" You plead as you see him walk out of the bedroom and you hear the front door close. You look behind you, towards the countertop near the bed and the picture of you and Sam is face down.

You want to think of the happy moments.

You think that there might not be enough left.

/

"How did it go?"

"We're late." You open the car door quickly, shoving a bag of your clothes inside, "I'm changing in the car."

"Okay." Rachel responds fast and begins to start the car. You're upset. You're upset that you can barely even look Sam in the face without feeling terrible, and you're upset that you can't even step into your own home without feeling completely guilty and unpleasant. You begin to undress, taking off your stinky top and scrounging for a fresh one in your small bag.

"I can't even walk into that apartment without feeling like a complete asswhole." You mumble to Rachel as she continues to drive down the road. You're still looking through your bag frantically, picking out a red top and putting it on. You shuffle your feet out of your pajama pants and look for a new pair of black pants near the bottom of the bag. Rachel clears her throat as you begin to pull on a new pair. "I hate this." You mumble again.

"Um, hi." You hear a voice from the backseat and you turn your head, almost jumping out of your seat as you see Finn awkwardly smiling in the back seat, trying to keep his eyes off of you.

"Shit, Finn!" You screech, trying to cover yourself up as fast as possible. "Why didn't you tell me he was in here?" You question Rachel, who is looking at the road ahead.

"You just kind of started before I could say anything." Rachel laughs a little, finding your bare body amusing.

"When the hell did he get here?" You shout at Rachel.

She shrugs, "You were taking a long time and Finn lives close so I asked him if he wanted a ride."

You catch a glance of Finn in the rear view mirror and scold him immediately, "Look away right now!"

"Sorry, sorry." He says as he puts his hands over his eyes. "Continue."

You lift up your butt and pull up your pants, "You may look now." You say to Finn and a goofy smile leaves his face. You pull out a small bag of makeup and start to apply some to your face.

"You might not want to do that in the car." Finn says, watching you put on some eyeliner, "Rachel isn't the best driver."

Rachel huffs in the drivers seat, gripping the steering wheel tight, "I am perfectly capable of driving a car safely Finn."

You huff, "She's not the one that barreled over a mailman."

He shrugs, "Just warning you Santana."

You know this. You've been driving with Rachel to work for several weeks now.

"How long have you exactly been driving with Rachel, Finn?" You ask him, still looking into the mirror.

"Um, it's not...I-"

"We used to carpool a lot." Rachel says matter-of-factly and you chuckle a bit.

"Okay guys." You say noticing their weird behavior and bring your pencil back up to your eye.

The car stops suddenly and you almost poke your eye out as you halt to a stop behind the car in front of you. Your bag lunges forward and the contents spill out.

"Dammit Rachel." You grunt and scramble to pick up your things, you notice a big black mark smeared across your face now.

She turns her head to you, "Sorry." She apologizes and looks straight ahead again.

Finn chuckles from behind you.

"I'll just wait till we get to work."

/

You're putting on your makeup in the office bathroom now and you can't believe you've gotten to this point, hurrying to do your daily routine in the bathroom of your work instead of your own home. You think, you've probably done a lot of other things in this office that are supposed to be meant for home, but you let that thought drift.

"You really don't need makeup."

Her voice sends chills colder than the arctic down your body.

"You're so beautiful without it." Brittany grabs at your wrist, looking you in the mirror and brings your arm down from your face. You look down at her body, admiring the way her black top clings to her in the best ways. "What are you doing in here?" She asks softly, her voice filled with concern as she scans over your bathroom things on the sink.

You set your makeup down, "Rach and I were running late, I didn't really have time to get ready."

Her eyes are comfortable, searching over your face, "You have your own place." She says softly. You know she means more than what she is saying, you've gotten to a point where you think you know the workings of her exceptional mind.

"Feelings aren't exactly going great over there." You say looking into the mirror, a smug still visible on the side of your cheek.

"I'm sorry." She says, her soft fingers still holding your wrist delicately. "How is Sam doing?"

"I don't exactly know...he's okay." You know he's not, but you haven't really been around him enough lately to know what he's really feeling. Her fingers are tracing over your palm, ghosting over your hand lines with precision. The feel makes you cringe in the best way.

"You told me you loved me." She says quietly, eyes locked on your single hand. Her eyes follow her own fingers in circles before you're trapped in an oasis of blue.

You stare, quiet for a moment before you lick your lips, "I did."

Her finger crawls up your arm in small circles, "I liked that." She responds.

You smile, she's so beautiful, even when you are just looking at the side of her face. She's probably the most graceful thing you've ever seen and you don't want to look at anything else. She makes you feel happy, even amongst the darkness you have been feeling lately.

Her sunshine warms your soul.

"I like you." You respond, whispering. You love her. You know this now.

She smiles, tracing your arm some more as she takes in your caramel skin.

"How is staying with Rachel?" She asks.

"It's bad, but not as terrible as I thought it would be." You say looking at her, "Actually, we are kind of friends now." You smile a little at the thought, then quickly cringe at yourself. How have you allowed Rachel Berry to be your only real friend in the office? You didn't really allow her, she just kind of barged in...but she's the only one that has tried besides Brittany. Maybe that's what it takes.

"That's cute." She chuckles.

"I just miss my own bed...and my things." You say looking at her in the mirror. Brittany looks up at your face, noticing the smug on your cheek and takes her hand to your face, rubbing it softly. Her thumb traces over the smug, cleaning it. Your eyes close at her touch, it reminds you of everything good. Before you know it she's pulling you close, attaching her lips to yours in a slow kiss and you've missed it so, so much. You moan a little, realizing you haven't kissed her in a while and put your hands on her face. You don't know why you've waited so long to love Brittany, and now you don't want to stop.

You pull away from the kiss slow, fluttering your eyes open, "I have to tell Sam something." You say looking at her. She pouts a little at the mention of his name, but you think she understands.

She nods, "Okay."

Brittany makes you feel a high greater than your deepest fantasies.

/

You're barging into the office towards Sam at his desk before you know it. You have to do this now, you think, or else you may lose your confidence.

"I love her, Sam." You say out loud, almost out of breath as the entire office looks your way. You have caught Sam off-guard as he looks up at you from his computer screen.

"Santana what are you-"

"You told me to say it before so I'm saying it now, isn't that what you wanted? Something real? I'm in love with Bri-"

He's grabbing you by the arm and dragging you behind him as he exits the office. His face shows the faintest shade of red and you think you may have embarrassed him a little.

"What are you doing?" He asks, clearly upset.

"I'm being honest."

"You're being insane, embarrassing me in front of the entire office, again. Do you just love to humiliate me or do you just not care?"

"I care about you Sam I just...can't do this anymore."

"If you really cared about me you wouldn't have done any of this."

"Don't act like I don't care about you, you've been my best friend for years now Sam." You say in a hushed whisper. "Don't act like I haven't been there for you when you were living in a fucking motel and don't act like I didn't love you because I do Sam. I love you, I do…" He's waiting for you to continue, his eyebrows harsh and confused, "But Brittany...I'm...in love with her." You can barely say it aloud to him as his face winces at your words. It's like he's just been shot with obscenities he can't seem to bare. "I'm in love with Brittany." You state again.

He's quiet, closing his eyes with a deep sigh and resting his head against the wall softly.

"I can't help but think where I went wrong." He says.

"Sam, you didn't do anything-"

"How could I be so in love with you and you not even…" He lets his words fade out as he shakes his head. "You broke me Santana." He's separating himself from the wall, getting his feelings back together as he prepares to go back into the office, "And I don't think I can ever forgive you." He brushes past you and you are left behind with a feeling of sadness.

"Goddammit." You sigh and lean up against the wall. A hand brushes through your hair, soothing your thoughts as your fingers massage your scalp.

"Santana?" A quiet voice interrupts you form your thoughts. Brittany is exiting the bathroom, walking up to you with concerned eyes. You quickly grab her by the wrist, rushing down the stairs as she follows behind. The sound of your shoes clatter against the cement as you almost throw her into the storage closet and close the metal door behind you. You're breathing heavily, from moving so fast or from something else and you ravish her neck with hot kisses.

"Did you hear Sam and I?" You ask between kisses, feeling her rapid heart rate as your lips move along her neck. You rip off her small cardigan and she moans at the contact.

"Yes." She says. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overhear." She says between breaths. "I just...didn't want to interrupt."

Your hands are devouring into her blond hair and her head tilts back to the feel of your lips. "Don't be." You say, taking an earlobe into your mouth. You push her body up against some boxes, strange supplies falling all around you. You remind yourself to pick them up later.

"Oh god." She moans, her voice vibrating through her neck. You take a moment to look at her, her chest heaving up and down as your hands roam the sides of her waist.

"I love you."

She pauses, smirking at you after you revealed those three lovely words. She grabs behind your back, sliding her hands down to your ass as she pulls you in close to her. "Tell me again." Her voice is hoarse and sexy as hell. You would tell her over and over again if she kept asking you like that.

"I love you." You say with a smirk before you ravage on her lips again. Your body is getting hot as you begin to slide your hand down towards the waistband of her skirt.

"Oh…" She begins, as you wander down lower.

You slip a hand down under her panties and you slide a finger through her wetness.

"Shit," She moans and you kiss her neck again. She grips around your shoulders, holding herself steady as you slide your finger up her center again. "Shit," She says.

You grin, loving the way you make her curse and continue to move your finger lightly.

"Shit, shit, shit." She says with the shake of her head, her hands are pushing against your shoulders a bit and you look up at her face. Her eyes are closed and her expression has changed. "Shit, Santana...we have to…" You dip a finger inside and her eyes shut even tighter at the feel. "Fuck." She moans, unable to hold down her words, "We have to stop San." She pleads, pushing you away from her. Her hair is messy from your tangles and you look at her, both of your heavy breathing filling the room.

"What's wrong?" You ask, still wildly aroused.

She runs a hand through her hair, "We just...we can't do this here anymore."

You shake your head a bit, not understanding.

She's straightening out her clothes, "I love you's are involved now and I think that we should wait for more appropriate and private times to do this." She says.

She's right, you think. You've only hooked up in wildly inappropriate areas and you realize what she means. You wonder what being with her outside of these walls is like. You wouldn't have to sneak around.

"If I want this to be real…" She begins, "And if you want this to be real...we have to make it real."

You nod, "Okay."

"I can't keep hooking up with you in the office like a secret affair...even though it's super hot and stuff."

You grin a little.

"I won't be treated like I don't matter." She says.

You nod again, "Okay."

"And we have to take it slow."

You smile, "Okay."

"Okay?" She asks.

You smile, nodding again "I've said okay like ten times." You tease. You realize you've agreed to this and you don't even know where to begin. You've never been with a girl like this before and you can't help but admit that it scares you a little, even though you are with someone like Brittany. You have to treat this special. You have to treat her special.

She rolls her eyes, "Okay sassy pants."

"Special." You say grinning.

She nods this time, "Special."

A vibration comes from your chest and you look down at your boobs. Brittany lifts an eyebrow at you, smirking delightfully. "My phone." You say grabbing it from in between your bra.

'Holly is looking for you.'

"Rachel texted me." You say.

Brittany lifts an eye and smirks at you, "Best friends." She teases as you type a reply back to Rachel telling her you will be up in a bit. You take in Brittany, her hair a mess and her face looking so effortlessly elegant. You pull up the camera on your phone and snap a picture of her looking at you.

"Hot." You say saving the picture.

She smiles, grabbing your hand and looking at you carefully. "Look, I know it might not seem like it...but I really am sorry about you and Sam." She says quietly.

You sigh, realizing you'll probably lose a friend and never have your life back to the way it was. "Yeah...me too."

/

"Where have you been?" Rachel interrogates you as you enter back into the office. "You've been gone for like - oh hi Brittany." Rachel stops mid sentence as she realizes Brittany is trailing behind you. She quickly retreats to her office desk, making a funny face towards you as you roll your eyes.

"You even have a secret language and everything." Brittany grins as she bumps her shoulder into yours.

"Oh my god." You mutter as she teases you. You hate that she loves to tease you about Rachel, but you would rather have her doing that than not talking to you at all. "Go sell printers or something." You say as she heads back towards her desk. You look back at the clock, realizing you've almost been gone for two hours and you have yet to do any real work today. "Shit." You mumble to yourself as you double check the clock again. You hope no one has noticed you've been gone, but you think that's a long shot. You double check your hair and straighten it out before you knock on Holly's office door.

"You wanted to see me?" You ask opening the door and looking inside.

She gives you a welcoming smile, motioning for you to sit down, "Take a seat."

You hope you aren't in trouble as you sit across from her.

"So, Santana." She smiles, "I just wanted to call you in here to talk to you a bit."

Your heart is thumping a little faster. Great, she knows about all the inappropriate things you've been doing around the office. She will fire you. She most definitely is mad at you, you think.

"What about?" You ask curiously.

She shuffles some papers around her desk, "Well, I know you've been going through some things and I just wanted to check in, make sure you're okay," She grins.

You weren't expecting that.

"Why?" You ask in defense. "I mean, thanks?" You say again.

She laughs a little, "I know tensions are a little high with you and Sam and all that."

Your eyes widen, you hadn't realized she might know about Sam and Brittany and you are a little embarrassed. She's your boss, she's not supposed to know all about your personal business, but then again...neither is the entire office.

"How, how did you-"

"Please, Santana. The entire building knows about the Sam and Britt Britt drama."

You shake your head a little, squinting your eyes, "I hadn't realized…"

"It's okay chica. I'm not here to judge." She says in the most Holly like fashion. "How are you doing?" She seems truly concerned.

You sigh, thinking about your home you miss so much and the boy that makes it impossible to go there, "It could be worse I guess."

"Your sales haven't been the best this quarter." She says.

"I know, they could be better. I'll work on that." You say.

She nods, "Good. I don't want your personal life to affect your work Santana, but if it becomes too much you are more than welcome to take a day or two off."

"Okay, thanks." You say. You are thankful you have a boss that sympathizes with you. "Do you mind if I ask how, how you knew?" You motion with your hands about the situation and she seems to understand.

"Oh," She leans back in her chair, "Rachel told me about that ages ago." She says.

"She what?" You exclaim, looking back at Rachel through Holly's blinds and you remind yourself to yell at her about that later.

"All accidental of course." Holly says with the wave of her hand and gathers some papers. "Now, I need you to go talk to HR." She hands you a stack of papers.

"Why?" You ask curiously. Does she want you to fill out something about you and Brittany?

"Because Sam quit."

The moves he makes continue to surprise you.