Chapter 8:
Sokka of the Water Tribe:
"Toph, it hurts, stop, please!" I squeal painfully, as her arms tighten around my tortured midriff, "Please!"
She blushes furiously as she loosens her grip on me and straightens. Somehow, her blank eyes manage to be incredibly expressive, as the joys of being in the world begin to wash over me. Her mouth opens embarrassedly, as though she wants to say something, but she is promptly interrupted by the door slamming open.
Aang's inquisitive face greets me first as the door bangs noisily against the wall; I notice a large bucket of water in his hands as a huge, childish grin replaces his curiosity. I have just enough time to wonder what the bucket is for before Suki and Katara slam bodily into him, launching water in every direction as they scramble to keep their feet. I begin to laugh to myself as I see Aang slip and fall catastrophically to the ground, followed by Katara, who trips over him. Suki deftly leaps over the pile of bodies to make her way over to Toph, who is already spewing laughter from a big grin on her face.
"Katara...ouch.." Aang howls melodramatically as Katara uses him to push herself to her feet. A small flush adorns her features as she helps him up.
"Sokka, how are you feeling?" she asks, as if trying to rekindle the seriousness of the mood. She waves her arms around, causing her magical water to spin and flow through the air and back into the three buckets scattered across the room.
I can't stop chuckling as I say, "I was feeling pretty bad, but watching you three stumble over yourselves really made my day!" She snorts indignantly as Suki looks me over, placing the back of her hand upon my forehead and feels my pulse with two fingers. Suddenly exhausted, I lay my head back on the pillow and breathe calmly outwards.
"Does it hurt?" she asks, taking her hand from my face, "You don't have a fever, and your pulse is normal."
"Well, it doesn't feel good," I admit, groaning as I struggle to look down on the wound. It has faded from the crispy black that I remember to a gross, swollen pink, causing me to wonder just how far the injury goes. Still, I can't wipe the smile from my face. I'm alive!
"Can I get some food?" I ask, as my stomach rumbles angrily, "I'm dying for some meat! How long have I been out?"
Katara nods and rushes away, apparently on the search for some food. Aang takes a seat by the now silent Toph, before saying, "You were out for at least four days. None of the doctors thought you'd make it. Boy are we relieved!" His grey eyes have that spark of energy that I remember from those early days on the South Pole. I can tell the terrible things that might have befallen this kid had I died; I can't bear the thought of being responsible for the loss of his innocence. If Aang can lose his positivity, then there's no hope for the world.
"Yeesh, feels like a lot longer," I mutter, cautiously grazing my stomach with the tips of my fingers, "How long does it hurt like this?"
He laughs slightly, as his hand unconsciously moves to his back. "It hurts for awhile. It'll get better, but it never completely goes away. Especially when it's cold."
"Great," I mutter, but I don't think any news could bring me out of my good mood at this point. My eyes move over to Toph, who is sitting down in the chair with a nonchalant half-smile on her face. Just like Toph. She can pretend all she wants, but I know she's ecstatic to see me awake. I don't think I'll ever forget the way she threw her arms around me, painful though it was.
"Sokka, I can't tell you how worried we were about you," Suki says graciously, collecting the newly-refilled buckets and moving them over to the bedside. Her face seems so tired; it makes me wonder what trials she had to endure to get me here. Speaking of which...
"Hey, where are we?" I ask, scanning the walls, "And what are the buckets of water for?"
"We're in Omashu," Aang answers, as he idly scoops some water into his hands and juggles it acrobatically around.
"Toph took you here while I went to get Aang and Katara," Suki finishes for him, "The water was for Katara, who has been working nonstop to heal you."
I'm not the most emotional, passionate guy, but I can't help but choke up a bit at the appreciation and love that could cause these people to work so hard to rescue me. Omashu is miles and miles from where we were; Toph must have nearly killed herself getting me here. And Aang and Katara must have been incredibly difficult to locate. All of these people worked so hard for me, and I will never, ever forget it.
"Jeez, thanks a lot guys," I say lamely, struggling to voice my thoughts, "I really appreciate all the help. I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for all of you."
"You suck at being sentimental," Toph throws in caustically, as her half-smile is replaced by the adorably arrogant smirk I remember so vividly, "We get the picture."
"Gosh, I try to be nice, and this is the thanks you give me," I shoot back sarcastically at her, "Just learn to accept the thanks!"
The thick, succulent aroma of cooked food announces Katara's presence in the doorway. I feel the saliva begin to work up in my mouth as she scoots around the still open door, bearing an oversized plate filled with all sorts of meats and vegetables. She smiles sheepishly as the group stares at the multicolored pallet of food that stacks up over her chest.
"I..I knew you'd be hungry, so I just kind of grabbed a bit of everything," she explains, as she coaxes the heavy dish down to the side of my bed. I can't say anything, just smile gratefully as my hands tentatively dive in, grabbing a portion of cow-sheep before I practically inhale it. The sweet, succulent flesh parts beneath my teeth, giving way to the juicy flavor that coats my tongue. My stomach rumbles appreciatively as I swallow the morsel, making a slight dent in the painful pangs of extreme hunger.
"Jeez, don't enjoy it so much," Toph admonishes playfully.
My family. It feels so good to be back.
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Far Xu, High General of the Fire Nation Imperial Army:
"Sir, please, we were just following Captain Wei's orders!" the soldier pleads, fighting against the two Firebenders who hold him steady. His face is furiously bruised from where the rock smashed him, but what is more pathetic is the stream of tears that flow down his face as he panics. A tint of nausea begins in my gut, as I realize I will have to explain to the idiot the reason why he must be here.
"Listen, you blithe moron," I begin coolly, pacing over to where he stands, quivering, "I gave you, I put in your hands, the ability to finish the Earthbender. You are right, in that it was Wei's idiotic strategy that was to blame, but you still carry the weight for your actions! Wei's foolishness cost you dearly, but had you fought harder, or had you worked to inform your Captain of her escape, the operation could have still been succesful!"
A long, piteous sob escapes his throat. A sigh escapes mine.
"Execute him," I say nonchalantly. Without hesitation, a Corporal walks forward from the ranks to stand in front of the prisoner. A knife is produced in his hand, as he coolly paces to stand before the wailing Private, never once losing his military stoicism.
"Sir, you are being executed by the order of the High General. The crimes you have been charged with are negligence and incompetence," he barks formally, and the blade crosses the man's throat, cutting suddenly through his weak, soft crying. The man's mouth opens and closes noiselessly, like a fish's, as he struggles to overcome the dramatic loss of fluid streaming from his opened jugular.
I remain in the scene for a little while, watching the crimson tide of blood flowing freely down his neck and into his armor. It helps to alleviate my mood, but not by much. The soldiers let go of the corpse, and it clatters noisily to the ground; the eyes stare openly in a permanent expression of fear and terror. Exactly what incompetence deserves.
With that, I impatiently turn on my heel and march back to my office, to try and fix the mess that Wei has put me in.
Idiot! I gave him everything he needed to kill the Earthbender, and he still managed to botch it in the most catastrophic way possible. And for what? Revenge? What a moronic platitude!
The better strategy is painfully obvious. He should have sent the balloons I designed after Toph Bei Fong, not his Firebenders. He should have killed her quickly and without incident while she was alone on the road, but instead, he grouped them together in the name of vengeance. For Jianguo, of all things!
I hate disappointment. If the history books name one fault of mine, it will be that I am incorrigibly optimistic in finding the best in my soldiers. I have consistently had the legs cut out from under my plans and strategies by obtuse commanding officers.
The massive door creaks loudly as I pry it open to enter my office. The steel feels cold and foreign as I pull the latch down and lock it, successfully embedding myself in this soundproof retreat. Papers litter my oaken desk, scattered around angrily as I had searched for any beneficial information.
Oh well, I tell myself. This next time, I will have to do better.
I think this, but my arm still swings furiously across my desk, casting the papers to the ground. Two large pieces of flint fly smash into the wall, before clinking lightly onto the floor below. I stroll over to the firestarter rocks, and look at them, as new plans unfold in my head.
The singular problem with my strategies has been the dependency upon soldiers who were singularly loyal to the Fire Nation cause. This national pride blinded them to things that should have been obvious. It hampered their actions and caused both Jianguo and Wei to command in a way that was inefficient and ineffective.
This next time, I must recruit soldiers who do not have that national pride. I will require cutthroats, who will search only for the quick and easy win. If I am to destroy the Avatar, I will need to bring forth the scum of the Earth to do my bidding and cast him aside.
I allow my constant smile to widen slightly as I stare at the flints on the ground. Reminding myself that the door is latched solidly, I lightly stomp upon the floor, feeling the Earth underneath me flow and toss the flints into the air. My right hand shoots upward, causing the rocks to float lightly before I tap them with my left and they skitter to the table.
National pride. Could there be anything more foolish?
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Suki, the Kyoshi Warrior:
I'll admit, I was a little fearful at first at the rate at which Sokka was cramming food into his mouth, but he must have a jaw like a snake. Since he is obviously not in the mood to make more conversation, the rest of us just buzz around the room, making normal small talk to alleviate the relief that we feel. Well, the rest of us except for Toph, who sits quietly by Sokka's bedside. She leans on the far end of the chair, allowing her feet to touch the ground, which tells me all I need to know. What a trooper she has been.
I steer myself away from Aang and Katara's conversation about Omashu hospitality, to pull up a chair beside Toph and Sokka. I recline dramatically, allowing the soft cushions to catch me, as I sit and enjoy the silence that emanates between us. Toph's slight smile has stayed planted on her face since he woke up. And it's been well over two hours.
"How's your leg feel, Toph?" I ask, glancing down at the bandage wrapped tightly around her calf.
"What?" she asks, nonplused, then, "Oh! Oh yeah, it's fine. Doesn't hurt."
Sokka pauses around a huge mouthful of what looks to be carrots, cabbage and more cow-pig, to lean over and take a better look at her calf. His eyes widen quickly, as he swallows the impossible quantity of food and looks at Toph's blank eyes.
"What happened to your leg? Did Wei get you?" he asks, as his hand comes up to his mouth to wipe away the excess juice dribbling down his chin. Toph shifts uncomfortably, tucking her injured leg back under her chair.
"Yeah. Not a big deal, just a little burn," she says nonchalantly. Her arms go behind her head as she reclines backwards, but she keeps her feet firmly planted on the ground.
"Looked pretty nasty to me," I throw in, as I take a closer look. The ointment is beginning to seep through the cloth, staining it a greasy brownish-green. It does look pretty awful, but I can't help but laugh inwardly at how embarrassed Toph is about it.
"It wasn't, just a little burn!" she insists grouchily, taking her arms from over her head and crossing them over her chest, "I'm not going to sit and cry about it."
"Typical Toph answer," Sokka says, grinning, "Too tough to feel pain!" He significantly lowers his voice at the last statement, giving it a comical, grinding toughness.
A flush of chagrin crosses over her face, and the inward laughter turns into outward chuckling. A lot of girls might milk a wound like hers, looking for sympathy from their love interest, but not Toph.
"You're lucky your hurt, Snoozles," she says dangerously, as her blush gives way to a scowl, "Or I'd have to teach you another lesson. I'd think that you would have learned by now!"
"Oh I've learned plenty," he throws back playfully, idly popping a grape into his mouth, "I'm just going to enjoy this free ride while it lasts!" He laughs arrogantly as her scowl deepens; I know what's coming and immediately scoot my chair back.
Toph rises to her feet, cutting Sokka's laughter off as she strolls calmly to his bedside. A slow, malicious smile worms its way across her lips as Sokka's disappears.
"Who said anything about a free ride?" she asks sweetly, as her hand smacks downward onto Sokka's bandaged-up wound. He yowls terrifically, like an injured dog as my hand goes over my mouth, futilely attempting to mask the laughter that pours out of me as he sits up. Toph triumphantly folds her arms and grins, while Aang and Katara rush to see what the ruckus is about.
"Toph!" Katara seethes, as Sokka curses under his breath. Aang retreats by my side, as we turn our heads away from Katara, so she can't see our respective giggling .
"What? He had it coming!" she insists sullenly, turning away from Katara as Sokka slowly recovers. He's taken to this sort of hyperventilating, as his breath comes out in quick, temperamental bursts.
"Toph, he's been injured!" she insists, as she rushes to his bedside, peering over him as he begins to lie back onto his pillow.
"Please, he's milking it," Toph retorts, as she walks to the door, "His heart rate faded back to normal forever ago." Her voice fades away into the hallway as her feet slap organically on the pavement. Katara growls under her breath before following her out. I grin to myself as I hear her raised voice echo down the hallway.
"Oh jeez," Aang begins, peering out after them, "They're going to kill each other. I'd better go and fix this."
"Careful! They bite!" Sokka adds unhelpfully as Aang disappears out the door, apparently over his terrible pain. He grins stupidly and looks at me; the expression is adorable.
"Was it really that bad?" I ask, struggling to find words.
"Not even close," he answers, as he reclines even further into his pillow, "I just wanted to get Toph in trouble." An obnoxious, infectious laugh emanates from him as he grins in smug satisfaction. I laugh with him, but my admonition isn't far from my lips.
"You know, Toph never once left your side since she got you here," I begin inquisitively, waiting to gauge his reaction, "She made sure she was in the same room, and waited for you to wake up. I'd never seen that much faith in one person before."
The smile on his face becomes wistful, as his over-the-top laughter dies. His eyes focus and become more solemn; here comes the matured Sokka.
"Yeah, she's something else," he says genuinely. Suddenly, his grin widens and he shakes his head. "We did it. We found her. You know, if there's one good thing about this stupid injury, it's that we got Toph back."
I smile warmly in reply. He doesn't say much, but I can read all that I need to in that one statement. I think it's time I talked to Toph.
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Toph Bei Fong:
"Well, doctor, what's the verdict?" Sokka asks casually, but I can feel his heart palpate slightly. I lean in closely, sliding my feet slightly forward as my grip tightens on the leather of my chair. Hearts are racing all around the room as we wait for the doctor's diagnosis; we've been praying for a full recovery, but we know it's unlikely.
"Well," he begins stoically, "Let me first say that it's a miracle that you came out of that coma. Without your friend's Waterbending, I don't think you would have had a chance."
The words come out calmly and coolly, accompanying his unhurried heartbeat; just the way with doctors accustomed to injury and sickness. I can feel my palms begin to sweat, at the same time that Katara, Suki, and Aang's do. We know that something foreboding lurks right around the corner.
"I know," he says, "I feel lucky. Really lucky. If it weren't for my family here, I wouldn't have made it. But don't hold back on the bad news." His voice is filled with that rare gem of powerful maturity that every now and again shines through his sarcastic, fun-loving demeanor. I feel a swirl of pride and love that's become so familiar over these years, further emphasized by the fact that his heart has slowed down and he's genuinely relaxed. He may be a total, whiney idiot most of the time, but he's got the heart of a real warrior when he decides to show it.
I can feel the erudite doctor nod cursorily, before hiding himself behind his parchment. His pen makes an annoying clicking sound as he taps it against his earthen headband, sending little pulsations of his calm heart, and his nervousness around people.
"Well," he begins again, "First off, I'm afraid that there will be a very permanent scar. The pain should fade considerably; in fact, most of the time you shouldn't feel any, but in cold weather, the scar will crack and weep, and it will be at its worst. I would suggest staying in warmer climates."
"Warmer climates..." Katara begins, looking away. I can feel the weight of her fear and disappointment, but once again, Sokka impresses me and comes to the rescue.
"Well, it wouldn't do me any harm, going to colder climates every now and again, would it?" he asks hopefully, causing the doctor to peer over his paper, "Just the whole pain thing, right?"
"Correct," the doctor agrees, "And there are several salves I can recommend, for shorter journeys, that will help to alleviate it."
Katara sighs outwardly, relieved by the slight bit of good news, but Suki and I remain fearful, remembering the distinct 'First-of-All' placed at the beginning of his diagnosis. Sokka takes a slow deep breath, preparing himself. My heart goes out to him.
"And second of all," the doctor says, apparently reading the silence, "I'm afraid that the nerve damage, specifically in the crux between your upper leg and torso, is very extensive. Feeling will be dulled across that area, and I believe that your motion will be impeded."
"My 'motion will be impeded'?" Sokka repeats, shooting forward as the fear in the room becomes almost physically palpable. Katara sidles over too his bedside, as everyone's eyes, except mine, cast upon the doctor. "Like I won't be able to walk?"
"No," the doctor says tentatively, "You're young and strong. I believe you will walk again, but always with a limp. The muscles still function, but without much feeling in that joint, it will become impossible to find the steady rhythm walking requires. Running will also be very difficult."
Sokka falls backwards onto his pillow. I can feel the sudden weak feeling flow through him; a potent mixture of relief and disappointment, causing a conflict within his blood system. "A limp," he says, almost to himself, "I can handle that. If I can walk. I'll figure it out."
Katara's hand grips his shoulder, as he attempts to come to grips with the reality. I turn away from the scene, trying to hide my guilt and my sadness, while Suki and Aang move to comfort him more. Swordplay, his trump card, his ace-in-the-hole, will have to change completely. No more running. Certainly no more major battles. Sokka's very crafty, but a limp could finish anybody, especially a non-bender.
"Sokka, I'm sorry," I hear myself say, genuinely. The doctor exits as the conversation dies down, and everyone turns to look at me. My face flushes, as I struggle for the right words. I have to express how important he is to me, but I don't want to make his injury about me. I feel his eyes on me, and as my mouth opens slightly, to try and say something, his voice cuts me off.
"Toph, I understand," he says, and I believe him. His voice rings with confidence, and my shoulders relax considerably over the relief that he's given me. "But you need to understand that this wasn't your fault. Nobody forced Wei to act as he did. He did this to me, not you. In fact, Toph, without you, I wouldn't be alive right now."
"Listen, everybody," he continues, "Without any of you, I wouldn't be alive now. I know it might sound a little different coming from me, but I really don't want any pity about this. I'll probably whine about it nonstop later on, but at least right now, I don't want anyone to feel bad. Everyone's worked too hard just to get me here; let's enjoy the fact that we succeeded."
Suki's hand goes to Sokka's bicep; I know I should be upset about that, but I haven't had the heart to dislike Suki since the attack. Aang nods sagely, and I smile. It's just about all I can do.
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"Toph?" Suki calls out to me. I hear her on the terrace, out by the front of the hospital, and I go to meet her. A slightly increased heart rate, and the slight sweat on her palms informs me of her slight nervousness; it's contagious. She hasn't been this nervous since the meeting with the doctor, several days ago. The cool mountain breeze flows across my face, lifting my hair away as I step out on to the patio, taking me from the conversation at hand as I pause for a second to really feel the mountain range around me; the tunnels, the trails, the Earth, fluid and alive. This truly is a beautiful place.
"What's up, Suki?" I ask, leaning on a guardrail beside her.
"Are we alone?" she asks quickly, and I feel a rock fall into my stomach.
A quick feel informs me that no one is even close to being within earshot. I nod in agreement, and begin to fear for the worst. A long, drawn out sigh emanates from Suki; a stalling tactic while she reaches for the words she wants to express.
"So.." she begins lamely, "How have you been, now that Sokka's awake?"
"Umm.." I begin in response, trying to find the direction she's going, "I've been fine. Happy because he made it. You?"
"Same," she answers taking another deep breath, "Look...you..you reacted pretty strongly, when he was hurt. I mean, you fought really hard for him. You were the one that kept faith in him, that he would pull through. It was really inspiring."
"Thanks," I answer, still searching, "But that can't be why you brought me out here. What's going on, Suki?"
There is the distinctive sound of flesh slapping together as her hand comes up into her forehead. I can feel her consternation, but it only heightens mine. What's the deal here, Suki?
"Look, it's just.." she continues, stumbling over her words, "Jeez, I'm so bad at this... See, it's just that...I don't know, you seem very attached to him."
"Well, of course I am, I've been hanging around his sorry butt for four years," I respond, praying inwardly that the conversation isn't going where I think it's going.
"Well yeah!" she exclaims, now frustrated, "But that's not what I mean!" Her hands flail in the air as she gesticulates, emphasizing her embarrassment with loud movements. I raise an eyebrow.
"I mean, more than that," she says, finally, turning away, "I mean, like you might...I don't know, be in love with him."
It's a good thing that she has turned away, because the heat rises to my cheeks faster than I ever thought possible. I wipe a hand across my face, as though trying to pry off the blush as my mouth begins moving and sounds come out, trying to stall while I think of something. She begins to turn towards me, but I face away, trying to conceal my embarrassment.
"L-love?" I hear myself stammer, though my brain isn't controlling it, "What..what ever gave you that idea?"
"C'mon, Toph," she begins, placing her hand on her hip. Her voice has taken on an air of exasperation, as though she is tired of beating around the bush. "You've been following him for four years! You hang on his every word, you do nothing but play with him, and you bully him worse than a schoolkid!"
"I...I don't have any idea..." I start, but she interrupts me before I can finish.
"Oh, just admit it, Toph! There's nothing wrong with it!" she insists, pushing my shoulder lightly. Normally I would respond quickly and painfully, but now I don't have the ability. "You're Toph! You're supposed to be tough!"
Those words really strike a chord with me, flying through my defenses and making me painfully aware of my complete cowardice in this area. Flustered, frustrated, and fatigued, my head falls down into my hands, supporting it over the guard rail. My voice becomes quiet and diminutive, my eyes narrow, and my face becomes even hotter as I force words out of my mouth.
"Look, we both know that it's hopeless," I say staunchly, word-by-word, "We both know that he likes you more. He did nothing but search for you after Ozai fell. I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you, and I actually respect you. So if your searching for blessings, whatever, you've got it. You're clearly better at saying things that need to be said than me."
"Toph..." she begins, "I don't know why you left, but do you know how Sokka reacted? He panicked. He lost his mind. I'd never seen him that upset before. In fact, it really scared me. And then, he pushed himself like a madman to catch up to you. You had to have felt the blisters on his feet; they were caused by him trying to track you down!"
"When we were captured, he did nothing but assure the enemy that you would be there to rescue us. He was so confident, and so sure of you. And when the balloons came, he basically killed himself to save you. You understand that, don't you? How can you tell me that these aren't the actions of a very infatuated person?"
Her voice becomes angrier by the second; not angry at what she's saying, but maybe the fact that I had never thought of it that way before. I search for something to say, but my mouth has fallen open and it doesn't seem to want to work. My natural pessimism fights hard against her words, but I see the truth in it and I can't rationalize it.
"Yeah, it's true that he has spent a long time trying to rescue me. But you know how he is! We only knew each other for a short time, and he felt obligated. He wouldn't have been able to forgive himself. But the fact of the matter is that he's spent four years roaming around with you, and he's got some very strong feelings for you."
"I love him, I won't lie. But I think what I loved most was the idea of him. The thought of seeing him, of having a stable enough life to let a relationship flower, things like this kept me going night after night in that hellish dungeon. But he's changed. He's matured. In fact, I've been surprised by him constantly ever since we met again in the prison. And part of that has been moving on. Whether he intended it or not, he doesn't love me the way he used to. And that's why...Toph, damn it, that's why I need to leave."
My mind goes reeling, as I struggle to take in everything she's just told me. I've never heard her speak so much at once, but her words came with such passion and strength that I don't know what to do. But she doesn't have to leave. In fact, I don't want her to. The feeling surprises me, but I want her to stay, and be a part of the family. I feel as though my heart might break as I feel the spattering of her tears splashing upon the ground.
"Suki, please..." I begin, "Nobody wants you to go. Nobody asked you to."
"It's not about any of you," she begins staunchly, "It's about what I need. I haven't thought about that for over three years, and it's time I took a little bit of time to find myself. I need to go back to Kyoshi Island, alone, and start over. Settle down. And whatever comes my way, comes my way. But Toph, you have to make me a promise."
"What?" I ask. A small tear falls down my cheek as she places a caring hand upon my shoulder. I can't believe I ever thought negatively about her; without a doubt, this is one of the strongest people I've ever known.
"You have to promise me that you'll tell him. I'll never forgive you if you don't. You have to tell him soon," she says forcefully, annunciating every word with such striking power that I feel as though I have been hit in the stomach. My hand moves up to grab hers, as I begin to try and sift through what's going through my head.
"Suki...I was terrible to you," I admit. She opens her mouth as if to say something, but I cut her off. "No, I know that I was. I wasn't fair to you. Listen, I'm asking you not to go, but I understand what you're saying. You take the time that you need...and...and I'll tell him. I promise."
"Tell me," Suki insists. Her hand tightens around my shoulder, and she spins me around, forcing me to face her. I can feel the strained expression on her face through her hands, reaching into my chest and pounding through my lungs. "Toph, I need to hear it. So I know I'm doing the right thing."
I'm very taken aback by her sudden request, but at the same time, I understand. Every ounce of courage I have, the tiny amount that is given to speaking in this way, is pulled out, as I feel her eyes upon me. I can't let her down. I can't let him down.
"I..." I begin, but I force my quavering voice to speak what I've been dying to say for four years. "I love Sokka. I love him more than anything. And I promise you, that I'll tell him."
"I know you do," she responds, as her grip loosens on my shoulders, "Now he needs to. Toph, I know you can make him happier than anyone else. And whether or not he realizes it, he loves you too. I need to start making my own life. He's done enough for me."
"Suki.. I'm glad we found you," I say genuinely. She looks at the stars while I feel the mountains. I think we're both touched by the beauty of the scene.
"But how will you keep him from following you?" I ask, "He's walking now, and he hates it when the family splits."
"Family," she repeats wistfully, but before I can ask, she says, "Well, I'm going to leave him a little more than you did. I'll write him a letter. And he'll understand. Just make sure you treat him well, Toph, or I'll be back in a heartbeat. Got it?"
I smirk, for the first time that night, and let loose with a playful punch that lands harder than I intended.
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The new, yet oddly familiar sound of Sokka hobbling with his brand-new cane clunks noisily into my consciousness, pulling me out of the trance I'm in and bringing me back to the real world. I hear a magnificent thud as he falls forward into the door, followed by a curse, and a smile adorns my face. Same old Sokka.
"Haven't quite gotten the hang of walking yet, huh?" I ask annoyingly, but his response isn't nearly what I expected. He immediately plops down into the nearest chair, and his voice becomes serious.
"Toph, I found this on my table this morning. It said I had to read it in front of you," he says, as his hand comes up to scratch at his scalp. Suddenly worried, I lean forward. She's already left. This is her goodbye.
"It's from Suki," he announces, "You know, I haven't seen her all morning. What's going on?"
"What does the letter say?" I push forward, waiting to hear her final words. I feel a pang of loss in my stomach, as I realize that I won't see her for a while. I had really grown attached to her.
"I don't know, I haven't read it yet," he begins. The distinct crackle of unfurling parchment lights the air as he pries the seal open and begins to read.
"Sokka," he starts, "I know you're probably already expecting this, but I've left for a little while. Now, before you do anything hasty, let me promise you, I'll come back, and before too long. It's just time that I became reacquainted with myself, and began to get back to what it is that made me me."
"Everything that we've been through since we were reunited have shown me a lot of things. You've really matured, and I've been so impressed with the man you've become, but I haven't. Thoughts of you and what we were kept me going through my darkest times, but they've become memories, and you've moved past them. I need some time to begin to move past them, as well."
"Sokka, I'm so grateful for the opportunity you've given me. No matter what the circumstances were, you rescued me from that prison. You released me from my role as a double-agent, and have given me my life back. Because of you, and Toph, and Aang, and Katara, I can begin to become the woman I was, and the woman I will become. I owe you my life."
"I think it's time that your family really became united once more. I pray that you and Toph will join Aang and Katara in the Fire Nation, and begin rebuilding. I'm headed back home, but I know I'll feel the urge to return to you all before too long. You're all my family now, and I want you all to know how happy I am that you let me in."
"Sokka, the life you've created is perfect for you. You have all the love and support anyone could want. We had something once, something special, but now, there is another who cares for you, and I know you care for her too. I want you to be happy, Sokka, and I know that you will be."
"You'll always be my hero," he finishes wistfully, "Suki." I can hear his voice crackle like the parchment, with rife emotion; his heartbeat pulses slowly as he tries to sift through the turmoil of feeling and tries to find the meaning.
"Suki," I repeat. Silence falls upon the scene, but rather than the awkward, uncomfortable type, it is the blessed, meaningful type. The type where thought and reminiscing takes over; where no words are said because they don't need to be. The hot, salty wetness of a solitary tear slides slowly down my cheek, but I am not ashamed. The back of my hand wipes it away, but Suki has earned this tear, and I will always hold her as a friend.
"She needed this," he says, quoting the letter, "I understand. And we'll be ready for her, when she decides to come back." The words are spoken as much for himself as they are for me. I don't know how I ever could have left him the way I did.
A slight flush appears on my face as I hear the crackling of the parchment, and realize that he is re-reading it. She dropped a very pronounced hint that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with; I feel his eyes dart upon it, and realize that we are about to have a discussion I didn't think we would ever have. My hands start to sweat, and I struggle to retain my composure, bracing myself to be brave. I promised her!
"Toph," he begins, leaning forward in his chair. We're close enough that he could reach out and touch me; I can feel his eyes upon me, and I can feel my face flush an even deeper color of red. "What do you think she meant by 'another who cares for you'? That's kind of weird, isn't it?"
My hands are still shaking, but for a completely new emotion now. Wow. This guy is really an idiot! I can feel the vein begin in my forehead as the complete disappointment of a stupid letdown creates a terrifying vortex of rage within me. Slowly, I rise to my feet. I can feel him falter slightly as I pace towards him; like an animal, he must sense my intentions.
"You..." I begin, "are so..stupid!" The shriek is punctuated by a hard, solid punch to his upper chest. He raises his arms to protect himself as I throw fist after fist into them; the pain that begins in my knuckles is almost relieving as Sokka's scrawny arms serve as the release to my tension.
"Idiot, idiot, idiot!" I scream at him, letting loose another flurry of jabs. My arms are starting to get tired, but I really don't care. "What do I have to do? What do I have to do?"
"Toph, jeez, stop! Please! What's the matter?" he yowls, utterly confused. How can he be confused?
"What's the matter?" I ask rhetorically, as my right hand shoots through his guard to grab him by the scruff of his collar. I flex my arm and bring him in closer; feeling him struggle uselessly. "What's the matter? You're an idiot!"
I pull him in close enough to feel the warmth of his breath on my face; the sweet aroma of well-cooked meat flows through my nose, as I feel him wince and turn away, expecting some terrific blow to the face.
I can't be about to do this. Can I? Yes! Damn it, I'm Toph, and I made a promise! I force my brain back, and make myself move by the pure whim of instinct.
My lips meet his easily, like they were meant to go there. I'm shocked by the softness of them, by the slight waxen wetness that translates from his lips to mine as his eyes widen in surprise. But then, something amazing happens, and my world is lit up in a color I have never experienced.
His eyes slowly close, and he returns the kiss.
I can feel the movement of the blood in his veins; every beating of his heart decorates him more and more, giving me an image of him like I have never felt before. I can feel the soft folds in his forehead, I can feel the growing stubble on the side of his face, I can feel the distance between his nose and his mouth, how far apart his eyes are, the shape of his cheekbones and the strength of his jaw. With every fluctuation in his pulse, I can feel his life, his energy and everything that makes him. I swear to you, I can feel the blue of his eyes.
His arm, scrawny, yet so much stronger than I remember, tucks itself around my waist, as he leans forward. I want to laugh and holler loudly, over the joys of a kiss I have never experienced; as every pressure and sadness of unrequited love fades away like some terrible memory. The rocks of worry that dropped into my stomach have hatched into beautiful butterflies, fluttering pleasantly within me, and I could melt.
I am Toph! Strong and tough as my element, but for once, I feel like a girl.
The kiss tragically breaks apart after what seems to be far too small an increment of time. I feel his eyes staring at me, I feel the realization begin to dawn on him, and all the embarrassment returns in its splendid glory. He knows, and I didn't have to say a word. I've always been more about action than talking, anyway. A wistful, loving smile permeates his features, forming into the same old Sokka with no common sense or grace.
"Oh..." he says lamely.
The End
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A/N: And there it is, the massive, living Tokka that so many were hoping for! And that's it for Release. Boy, is this bittersweet. Both the ending, and the fact that the story is over. I really fell in love with writing this, and thanks so much all you reviewers! Special thanks to Milly22, for beta-ing. Seriously, every single review inspired me to keep going, to fight through all the blocks and tough decisions. At the time when this was finished, I had 167 reviews, which feels awesome! Thank you so much, every single one of you, and if I ever forgot to reply to one, I sincerely apologize. Haha, I actually struggled pretty hard on this final scene, because initially, I had Toph saying 'I love you', and it really didn't fit. Like at all. It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out why: Toph doesn't talk, she acts! She'd do the same with this situation. I'm actually happy with how that kiss was described, which is unusual. I'm usually convinced that what I'm writing is crap.
Ok, theme time! The idea of Release was crucial to this whole story. Sokka is released from his obligation to Suki, and death (for awhile, anyway), Toph is released of her unrequited love and her inability to express her feelings, and Suki? Well, Suki is not only released from her life as a double-agent, but also, hopefully, at least for the intentions of the story, she is released from the ire of the Tokka-lovers out there. What I was dying to do, throughout this story, was to make Suki believable, but also very, very strong. This is the ending which I believe that Suki has her finest moment, and my goal was to make everyone, including the Tokka-lovers, really love her, the way Toph came to.
I hinted a lot about the fact that she was more in love with the idea of Sokka rather than actually Sokka throughout the story; please tell me what you think! And yes, you didn't read wrong, and I didn't make a mistake. General Xu is actually an Earthbender! I loved that twist, and I've been nursing it forever, because it leaves me a huuuuuge opening for a really fun sequel! I will definitely write it eventually, but for now, I'm not sure what to do, lol.
Like I said, you all have made this one of the more rewarding things I've ever done, and I sure hope that this final chapter was to your liking! I'm dying to think up what to do next, because I want to keep up with this site and keep writing things, both for y'all and for me! The sequel to Release will be awhile; I barely have any story in my head for it, and I need to really really really really plan it out, if I'm going to make it of the quality I want it to be! For now, I'm not sure, but please, please, please, PLEASE let me know if there's any kind of thing you want me to write, or any show/videogame you want me to write for! If I'm a fan, and the muse hits me just right, I'll probably write it!
Also, I'm looking to beta for anyone that wants me too. Or, if anyone is interested, maybe a double-project with some of you talented writers while I stew for another chapter story? Just hit me up at FranMan1187 (AIM screenname) or PM me, please. I'm dying to keep up on here!
Once again, thank you all so much for all your reviews and all your support. You made this something truly worthwhile, and I thank all of you for it. Keep reading!
Superbleh11
