Chapter 8
Jude's POV
My right arm is encased in a blue cast up to my elbow, making sure it doesn't moved and my ankle is wrapped in crisp white bandages. They say it is just a sprain and that it will be sore for a bit but it isn't serious. There is a small butterfly strip covering the split in my lip, holding the broken skin together. My eye is swollen and sore but they said there would be no lasting damage that they could see. They also think I have a concussion from a slight contusion on the back of my head even though I said I don't remember hitting it. They just looked at me with pity after that and said that they still want to keep in for observation. The cop who brought me in, I think his name is Mike, is sitting in the seat in the corner of my room. He keeps checking his phone constantly. Probably waiting for news on Callie.
We have been sitting here for a long time now. At least a few hours, I can't be sure as I was a bit dazed when we got here and didn't pay any attention to the time. I look up nervously as the cop shifts again, once again looking at his phone before sighing.
I don't like cops, but he seems friendly enough. He is quick to smile and keeps trying to involve me in a conversation. I haven't talked much and he long ago gave up. He glances up at me every now and again, flashes me a quick smile before looking away again. I think he knows I don't fully trust him. I can't really help it.
I don't trust anyone besides Callie. She always told me not to talk to anyone I didn't know. Not before she assessed the situation first and okayed it. A necessary habit in the homes we have been placed in since our mother died and our father was arrested. It isn't often that Callie says it is ok to talk to someone one. She isn't here to tell me it's ok. She isn't here because I got her hurt. I called her for help and because she came to rescue me she got really badly hurt. She always protects me, from everything and anything. I try to tell her that I don't need it, that just because I am younger it doesn't mean that I shouldn't be the one protecting her. I try, but she never lets me. Always says that mum told her that she had to look after me no matter what, and to never let me lose my innocence and keep me a young and happy boy, no matter whether she was around or not.
I slowly sit up when his phone starts ringing suddenly and loudly. He sits up quickly looking at the caller ID.
"I'll be right back." He says to me before darting out into the hallway.
He is gone for at least five minutes before he comes slowly back into the room. His face doesn't show much of what is going on in his head and it frustrates me slightly. I don't like not knowing what to expect from someone. It makes me anxious. I guess it is a habit I picked up from Callie. Always be weary. No matter what.
"Stef is going to be coming up in a minute to get you." He says slowly, eyeing me carefully.
"Stef?" I ask, feeling lost.
"The cop from this afternoon." He answers steadily. "She is going to take you up to where Callie is."
I perk up a little at the mention of Callie, desperately wanting to be able to see her, and slide of the bed. I deflate at a sudden thought.
"But don't they want to keep me here for observation for my head?" I ask, my voice more timid than I would like.
"I've already talked to your doctor and he said that because you would still be in the hospital it would be ok if you moved, and they would tell the nurses up there to check on you every now and again. They also have to keep an eye on Stef too so it won't be much difference if you are up there too."
"Up where?" I whisper, realising that he hadn't actually said how Callie was.
The cop clears his throat nervously and goes to open his mouth to speak before shutting it again and looking behind him, as if looking for an escape.
"Where is Callie?" I say louder than before, the fear I am feeling sparking. "What is wrong with her?"
He starts to move towards me and I instinctively back away from him. Despite having spent a few hours with him, suddenly having him standing over me is startling. He stops short and I see a glint of sorrow in his eye. He raises his hands in front of him, trying to look less threatening.
"I need you to calm down Jude." He says hesitantly, slowly taking a step towards me, stopping quickly when I flinch back even further, backing myself up into the corner, instantly making myself feel trapped.
I can feel my heart beating so quickly in my chest, thumping against my ribs almost painfully. My breath starts to get short and I feel myself slide down the wall until I am slumped on the floor, pulling my knees to my chest.
Suddenly someone else is in the room and I feel myself curl further into a ball. There is a hushed conversation that I can't understand properly. Then I realise that someone is closer to me, crouching down in front of me. I try to move away further but a gentle hand placed on my foot stills me and I slowly peek out from between the gap in my arms.
It's the blond cop from earlier except she is no longer in uniform, it appears she is in a doctors top now instead. She is crouching far enough away from me that I am somewhat comfortable, she is just reaching out to touch my foot.
I realise with a start that my ankle is starting to throb slightly and she definitely notices my wince. She quickly pulls her hand away thinking that it was her that caused the flinching.
"Sorry sweets." She murmurs quietly. "I didn't mean to startle you."
I shake my head and try to reassure her that it wasn't her but all that comes out is a muffled sob.
Suddenly I can't stop the tears that are racing down my cheeks, flooding my eyes and making them blurry. I hear Callie's voice in my head telling me not to cry in front of people as that it just gives them another thing to take advantage of you with. It just makes me cry all that much harder as I know that she must be really hurt and that I may never actually hear here say it again. Slowly and carefully, Stef begins to move closer to me, one hand raised in front of her to appear non-threatening, the other slowly reaching towards me.
She gently wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her chest, resting my head on her shoulder, my face pressed into her neck. She gently moves me onto her lap and wraps her other arm around me, pulling me even closer to her, holding me securely.
I try to resist but realize that I have no energy to fight and just slump against her when understand that she isn't going to let me go. I feel her skin grow wet under my cheek and I feel slightly embarrassed but I can't make myself stop.
Stef slowly rocks us back and forth, murmuring softly into my hear, her hand gently running up and down my arm.
"It's ok honey." She whispers, her voice soothing. "I know it is scary but it is going to be ok. You are never going back there sweets."
I am not sure how long we sit there for, Stef clutching me to her chest but I slowly begin to gain control of myself and manage to choke back my sobs enough to be able to ask the question that I really need an answer to.
"C-Callie?" I stutter, her name being all I can manage.
I hear Stef sigh before she gently moves me away from her slightly so that she can look me in the eye.
"Honey…" She starts, before pausing to collect her thoughts. "Callie is really hurt. Your foster father hurt her really badly but the doctors are looking after her. We are allowed to go up to the ICU to see her but you need to understand that while she will look scary, she is going to be ok."
"Are you sure?" I gasp.
"She has to be sweets." She sighs tiredly, bring me back to her chest again, tucking me into the crook of her neck. "She will be asleep for a little bit though, and she will have a tube down her throat but she will be ok. You just need to know that she may not look much like your sister for a little while but she will be ok. The doctors are looking after her I promise."
I feel my heart stutter a little and push myself further into Stef, feeling her arms tighten around me as I do.
"That's the thing…" I whisper, unsure as to why exactly I am going to voice this thought. "She will look like her."
"Jude…" Stef asks, her voice anxious. "what do you mean by that?"
I sigh, trying to work out just what I am going to tell her now that I have started this conversation, knowing that Callie will be angry with me for revealing too much.
"We have been in a lot of foster homes." I start.
"What does that mean?" She asks hesitantly when she realises that I am not going to continue on my own.
"We got moved from home to home a lot." I whisper, realising that I shouldn't have said anything because I am just upsetting her. "A child only gets removed from a home when something goes wrong."
"Jude…" she whispers, sorrow in her voice.
"Callie would get hurt a lot." I whisper. "Always to protect me. She would step in and take any punishment that was meant for me. Normally they would make it worse for defying them but stepping in front of me."
"Oh honey…" Stef sighs, brushing the top of my head gently.
"I just mean…" I pause, trying to work out how to word it without upsetting her even more but I don't think that is possible. "I have seen her hurt. I've seen her hurt badly. She doesn't normally get help for it as they won't take her so it takes it longer to heal. And until Bill comes to check on us and then remove is, she deals with the pain and pretends it doesn't hurt to protect me. So I am just saying… it is weirder to see Callie without some form of injury than her being hurt."
Stef doesn't say anything after I stop and I realise that she is shaking. I try to look at her but she won't loosen her grip on me in order for me to look up at her face.
"Oh my poor babies." Stef gasps, and I realise with a start that she is trying not to cry. "Such a horrible thing to have to get used to. To be so exposed to violence that you are almost immune to it. I am so sorry that you had to go through that sweets but I promise I will never let anybody hurt either of you two again."
She says that last bit with so much conviction that I can't help but want to believe her.
We sit there for a few more moments before another woman makes her way to the doorway. She is tall, long legged with dark skin, and wildly curly hair pulled up into a bun on top of her head. Her gentle eyes take in the site in front of her with curiosity and sadness before she moves further into the room, alerting Stef of her presence.
Stef looks up and they share a look for a few moments before the woman slowly crouches down in front of us, making sure to leave enough room between me and her as not to startle me. Though she looks gentle I can't help but tense up in Stef's arms, which does not go unnoticed by the blond police woman.
"Jude," She whispers into my ear. "This is my partner Lena."
I look up at her and she smiles gently, extending her hand out for me to shake it. I eye it warily but don't make a move to shake it. She lets her hand drop, trying not to let the hurt show on her face but not really succeeding, her smile hitching slightly before appearing slightly forced.
I feel guilty suddenly for hurting this beautiful woman and it must show on my face because she rushes to reassure me.
"It's ok Jude." She whispers, moving to sit fully on the floor in front of me. "I know I am a stranger and from what I have seen of Callie, she would have trained you not to talk to strangers right?"
I nod slowly, turning back into Stef's neck, feeling the warmth of her skin against mine, letting it calm me. I know I had only met her today, but the concern that she showed for Callie at the house shows that she must be someone I can trust.
I know that the two women are communicating silently over my head but I make no effort to move or try to make myself anymore obvious to the woman in front of me.
It takes a few moments before Stef tries to talk to me again.
"Jude, honey." She murmurs, punctuating her words with gentle brushes of her hand over my arm. "The doctor has said that we are able to move up to the waiting room on Callie's floor. Would you like to go?"
I nod my head slightly against her neck and she loosens her hold on me and shifts me off her lap so that she can stand up. I flinch slightly at Lena's movement as she also rises from her sitting position and I don't allow myself to look up at the hurt expression that I know must be there. To suddenly have her towering over me is something that I just can't make myself feel ok about though I know it is irrational. Stef wouldn't be with someone who would hurt me.
"Honey why don't you go wait out with Mike?" Stef suggests. "Me and Jude will be right behind you."
I hear the rustle of fabric as Stef hugs Lena, then the shuffle of shoes on lino as the tall woman moves from the room.
"Come on honey." Stef says as she reaches down to help me off the floor. "Let's go and see your sister. You can talk to her and let her know you're here. I know she is asleep but I think it will help her."
She loops an arm around my waist to help support most of my weight as I sway slightly on my swollen ankle.
"Sorry honey" she states softly. "Forgot about that.
I nod my head slightly and begin to hobble from the room. As we make our way slowly to the elevator, I steel my reserve against what I am going to see when I walk into Callie's room. Despite what I said about it being a normal occurrence…
It hurts me every time I see her hurt.
A/N ok, ok I know this has been a long time coming and I am so sorry for that. This time thankfully it has just been starting Uni again for the year and no more funerals that have been holding me up. I am in my second year of my undergraduate in a science degree so it is a lot of work and I haven't really had time to finish this chapter despite starting it ages ago. I hope there are still people out there willing to read this and if not I guess it is my own fault there.
Any way I hope you guys liked the peak into Jude's mind and that it was at least somewhat worth the wait. Hopefully the next update wont be as long but I do have exams coming up so not sure exactly when the next one will be. Stick with me guys, I promise I wont abandon this!
