This Ain't A Love Song

By Scouting For Girls

Every night, I remember that evening.

The way you looked as you said you were leaving.

The way you cried as you turned to walk away.

Garcia watched as JJ sat on her couch. It should have been easy: take her godson to JJ, drive them both home, have a nice evening on her own to recover from babysitting. Over the years, Garcia had learnt that 'should have been easy' was a pipe dream; JJ was in no state to be left alone tonight.

Sure that her friend was no longer sobbing uncontrollably, Garcia retreated to her bedroom and quickly dialled a number.

"Prentiss."

"Oh, Emily…my wonderful, wonderful friend." Garcia began with a false, almost manic cheeriness.

There was a long and resigned sigh from the phone, "What happened?"

"I've decided to wipe you from existence - no record that you were even born. How could you send me in there!?"


The cruel words and the false accusations.

The mean looks and the same old frustrations.

I never thought that we'd throw it all away

Garcia found JJ in Henry's bedroom, sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. She did not know where her friend's mind was, but it did not look particularly pleasant; there was a pained look on her face.

"Jayje?"

JJ turned her head to the voice and then shook herself as if she needed to physically bring herself back to the present. "Pen, hey. I'll be ready to go in a second."

Garcia pinned her to the bed with a look, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, really." JJ got up and crossed to the door, looking back at Garcia as she continued, "I just need to get away and move on."

She froze as she tried to walk through the door, only to find her path blocked by Henry and her son.

Garcia had to force herself to breathe as the tension in the room skyrocketed. Henry stiffened and silently handed the boy to his mother. He locked eyes with JJ, shook his head and then left.

JJ jumped as a hand came to rest on her shoulder, and when she faced Garcia, there was fire in her eyes. Henry giggled as he was passed back to his godmother.

Garcia frowned as she followed the blonde head that had stormed down the hallway. She caught up with them outside the office in time to see Henry holding his face in shock, small rivulets of blood seeping through his fingers. She did not know what had been said, but Garcia winced as she realised JJ's ring must have caught him. Any sympathy evaporated as JJ was shoved aside so he could retrieve a box.

But we threw it all away.

Henry hurled the box, narrowly missing JJ, out of the office and into the wall. Garcia was shocked at the ferocity as the contents of the box fluttered around them. The only sound to be heard was Henry's ragged breathing; he stood in the doorway, nostrils flaring and eyes glistening. JJ said nothing, stunned by such out of character behaviour.

The two women followed Henry as he marched with purpose towards the front door, picking up JJ's bags as he went. The suitcase was the first item to be heaved out the door, bouncing down the steps to come to rest on the sidewalk.

"What the Hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind?"

Garcia gasped as JJ angrily accused him, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stop midway through sending her messenger bag to join the suitcase.

"You need to get away from me? Go. Leave. Get out of my life and don't you dare come back."

Henry's words were calm and measured, but his face was a sea of emotion. JJ took a step back and gaped at him. Garcia had no idea what was going on, but the way JJ squared her shoulders had the analyst wanting to hide behind the sofa - JJ very, very rarely lost her temper.

"Why don't you grow up? This is what you do, Henry, you pull your silent brooding crap! Even now, even though you know that I know exactly what the problem is, you're still keeping secrets. You've had all of me, Harry…The good and the bad…But all I get is the same fucking smile that I don't understand, then you send me on my way. We've been having the same fight all week. For once, why don't you man up and just say what you're thinking?"

JJ's challenge was accompanied by finger pointing and it seemed to make something in Henry snap. His eyes flashed with something indescribable as he grabbed JJ's wrist and took a step closer to her. His voice was low and even as he answered, "I never abandoned you - not once. After everything I've done, everything I've given up, all the times I had to put you back together, you want to 'move on'. I don't care anymore, I don't have the heart for it….So help me, Jennifer, you've stomped all over it so many times I think it finally broke. Please get out of my house."

"Harry…" JJ pleaded, her voice hitching as she whispered his name. He had never spoken to her like this; they had never fought like this. She realised he was deadly serious.

"Congratulations, JJ. You've run far enough away that I don't have the energy to catch you. Get out."


And I'm a little bit lost without you.

And I'm a bloody big mess inside.

And I'm a little bit lost without you.

This ain't a love song - this is goodbye.

"This was never going to end well." Emily proclaimed as she finished listening to Garcia's account of what had happened.

"I still have no idea what 'this' was."

Emily snorted, "I honestly don't think they do, either."

"This is the same Henry Sheridan that JJ had me research during that case in Pennsylvania?"

There was silence as that question filled in a few blanks for Emily. "That's how she knew….Jeez. How is she?"

Garcia blew out a breath and waved a hand in frustration, knowing the profiler could not see it. "She finally stopped crying. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, she wasn't this upset when Will left."

"Because she had him."

"What…who?"

"Harry. She wasn't upset that Will left because she still had Harry."

"Why is this guy so important? She's never mentioned him once in all the time I've known her….Should I be wondering why she named her son after a man no one knew anything about?"

"Why does anyone name their kid after someone? She respects him, she wants him to know she cares, she wants to keep him close…all of the above."

"I'm not sure I'd be so generous about someone who kicked me out of his life."

"We only hurt the ones we love."

This ain't a love song - this is goodbye.

"The hurt part I understand." Garcia scoffed.

"Last time it was JJ doing the kicking. They came back from that."

"So, if he gets hit by a car…?"

"Garcia…" A loud thumping on her front door interrupted Emily. "I've got to go, no plotting vehicular assault."

I've been lost, I've been out, I've been losing.

I've been tired, I'm all hurt and confusion.

I've been mad, I'm the kind of man that I'm not.

"I screwed up."

Emily was not surprised that Henry had made his way to her; the bottle of Scotch was also expected. He had said it was for the pain, and Emily was not entirely convinced that he meant the nasty looking gouge in his face.

"I thought that was how you two did things?" She asked, sipping her own drink as she waited for an answer.

"This time it's beyond repair; things were said that shouldn't have been. I…we…lost control."

Emily considered her next words carefully, knowing that he was likely to shut down, but went for straightforward and hoped that he would appreciate the honesty. "Maybe you should just tell her you love her."

Henry smiled, although it never reached his eyes. "I tried, she didn't understand."

"What did she say?" Emily leant forward and rested her elbows on the kitchen island they were seated at.

"She said that it made everything my fault. If I had asked her out, none of this would have happened."

A light dawned in Emily's mind. "You didn't say the words…and she didn't not say them back." She rolled her eyes at the complicated relationship her friends had. "Here's an idea: how about going up to her and saying 'I love you'?"

Henry stared at Emily for several seconds, hearing JJ's words echo in his head.

Why don't you man up and just say what you're thinking….

And, though I'm down, I'll be coming back fighting.

I may be scared and a little bit frightened.

But I'll be back, I'll be coming back to life

Henry had been tapping his finger against the glass in his hand - a tic that Emily recognised he did when he was thinking particularly hard about something. "If I do this and lose her…"

Emily looked up in surprise. She thought Henry was done talking. The quiet, desperate tone he used and the anguished look on his face spoke volumes to her. Years of profiling gave her an advantage but anyone could see how this relationship had become so dysfunctional; Henry loved JJ but was too scared of losing the only person he had to do anything about it.

"I hear that you threw her out and told her not to come back." Emily tossed back.

"There's a limit, Emily. I can only hold her up for so long before I break."

I'll be coming back to life.

Emily shrugged and drained her glass, "So let her hold you."

And I'm a little bit lost without you.

And I'm a bloody big mess inside.

And I'm a little bit lost without you.

This ain't a love song - this is goodbye.

This ain't a love song - this is goodbye.

"You know, I told you once that everything happens for a reason."

JJ looked up at Garcia, fingers toying with the glass of wine left over from dinner. Seeing that she had her guest's attention, Garcia continued, "Maybe, just maybe, you and Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding needed to get things out in the open."

"It's never been this bad before…We fought, I've even hit him before….This time we meant it. I've never meant it before."

"Then maybe you're better off without him."

JJ's face registered shock, terror, and realisation. In that order.

And you can try, you can try,

But you'll never keep me down.

And you can try, you can try,

But you'll never keep me down.

"Henry Sheridan! I told you not to come into the office for a week. It's only Wednesday. "

Henry waved the Senator away and started barking orders at his assistant. He went through his messages as the senator trailed him into his office.

"How's JJ?"

Henry stopped dead, halfway between standing and sitting in his chair, before recovering and dropping down with a sigh, "Complicated."

"Excellent. Now we have a topic of conversation for lunch." she beamed.

"I quit."

"Tough cookies. I don't feel like training another monkey."

Henry let a small smile grace his lips. "Tell me something, Kate…What do you do when you've really screwed up with your wife?"

"Flowers, favourite junk food - you should be good with that - and grovelling." She folded her arms across her chest as she leant on the doorframe and fixed him with a serious look, "What did you do?"

Henry merely smiled. "Thank you, Senator."

And I'm a little bit lost without you.

And I'm a bloody big mess inside.

And I'm a little bit lost without you.

This is a love song - this ain't goodbye.

"You wanted to see me, JJ?" Emily knocked lightly on the open office door as she answered her summons.

"Yeah…How's Harry?"

Emily considered lying to spare her friend - she would be damned if she could explain what he had been doing since he'd disappeared from her apartment two weeks ago. At some point, Emily seemed to have nailed her colours to Henry's mast.

"He's happy."

JJ stilled all movement and blew out a breath she had been holding. He was happy, that was a good thing; he was happy because they had 'broken up', that was not so good - selfish as it was.

"You seem disappointed." Emily stated simply.

"I…" JJ faltered, ashamed at feeling what she did, "I was hoping he'd be as miserable as me. I think I'm actually more angry than disappointed."

"If it helps, he's happy because he's up to something. We…talked some things through - and the senator says he got his groove back."

JJ smiled for the first time in a long while. "He's moved on."

Emily saw the smile drop for a moment before it returned, a little more forced than before. "JJ, I've found that Henry Sheridan can be many things - over you is not one of them."

It's alright, cos you can try,

But you'll never keep me down.

It's alright, I may be lost

But you'll never keep me down

You can try, you can try,

But you'll never keep me down

You can try, I know I'm lost

But I'm waiting to be found.

You'll never keep me down.

Henry sat on the porch of the house, watching the neighbourhood pass by as he waited for a particular car to pull up. He had left the office after his enforced lunch with the senator earlier in the week and spent the last few days trying to find several items. He had settled on flowers (or, rather, one flower in particular), New York Cheesecake, and his best kicked puppy face.

The car that pulled into the drive stopped a few feet shorter than it might have on any other day. The driver's door opened and quietly clicked shut. Henry was still keeping his vigil as he waited for the car's occupants to reach him. He squinted up as a shadow fell across his feet.

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

"I just got back from a case…"

"I know. Emily called to say you were back."

"Did she, now? And why would she do that?"

"We may have been in cahoots."

A small grin was squashed before it could appear. "Cahoots?"

"Don't knock it."

A heavy silence hung in the air as JJ shifted her son from one hip to the other. Henry tried to get up from the steps with his gifts in one hand, but his leg would not cooperate. JJ watched him struggle for a moment before rolling her eyes and thrusting a hand in his direction and yanking him to his feet.

"What the Hell is all that?"

Henry handed her the cheesecake. "I would have brought dinner, but I wasn't sure when you'd get here. Pie, however, will survive pretty much anything."

"What about the plant?"

Henry motioned for her to switch her son for the plant he was holding. JJ frowned but complied, she trusted him, after all.

"It's a white violet," he explained as she examined it, "flowers have meaning, you know."

JJ looked back up at him, whispering softly, "What does this one mean?"

Henry inhaled deeply before he answered equally quietly, "Let's take a chance on happiness."

"Is that so?"

"Jennifer, will you have dinner with me?"

"Are you asking me out?"

Henry stepped closer and allowed himself a moment to get lost in her eyes. This was it.

"I'm saying I don't want to fix this anymore. Our relationship is held together with elastic bands and duct tape….I'm asking if it's about time we got a new one."

There were no fireworks or brass bands, no Hallelujah chorus, just a man asking her out to dinner. JJ found that she was fine with that; this simple thing he had done felt more important to her than any expensive restaurant or jewellery ever could. Any man could give you a dozen red roses; it took thought to find a flower that said something he could not. Any man could take you to dinner; it took consideration to wait with dessert on your doorstep because he did not know how bad the last case had been. Any man could say he loved kids; it took instinct to be completely oblivious to the fact that he had rocked your son to sleep on his shoulder.

"How about we order some pizza and go from there? We need to make sure we got all the fighting out of our system."

"About that…"

JJ waved a hand as she began to unlock the door. "What's done is done."

"And now we start again?"

"Now we start again."