A/N: It might please you to know that I've settled on a schedule for this story. Two updates a month, on the second and fourth Wednesday of every month. Probably around three in the afternoon, central time if not earlier (after I get out of school and get home). At least for Act 1.
Updates will probably come faster depending on how productive I am. That's a problem of motivation, actually. I have such a hard time finding enough motivation to just sit down and write and make a sizable dent in the progress of the plot. It's why I appreciate reviews so much. They help probably more than you guys will ever know.
Your plan is actually going to have to wait.
You, Karkat Vantas, are apparently incapable of swallowing your feelings and getting two of your friends to go out one stupid date. It's infuriating to no end, but there isn't much you can do about it. You've been trying for months to talk to Dave about taking Jade on a date, but every time you think you're finally going to say something about it, your brain changes the subject at the last second. You're so close to just pitching yourself out of Dave's apartment window to get it over with already. Dead people don't have to stress about stupid shit like this, right? Well, probably not, at least. You hope not.
However, death is not a thing you can do. You have a job to complete. Besides, it's winter right now. Pitching yourself out the window would be really cold. You hate the cold. Plus, burying your body with the ground frozen like it is now would be really difficult. You're such a considerate guy. Most people don't realize that.
Speaking of the cold, Christmas is coming up. You didn't celebrate it last year, mostly because you couldn't be bothered to leave your apartment for longer than five minutes. You really hate the cold. Dave had to bring you food for you to survive. It wasn't fun. But this year, you have a reason to bother with the holidays.
You don't have work (the queen's garden doesn't bloom in the winter, so there's nothing to tend to, thus making your job pointless until spring), so you get this huge Christmas bonus that helps you get through the winter technically unemployed. This year, you thought that you might as well put it to good use.
And totally spend it all on Dave.
You… have no excuse for this. Maybe you can bribe him to ask Jade out or something. Probably not though, since you still can't get your mouth to form the fucking words. But more on that later. Right now, you have something to do. You're going to drag Dave out to the market and figure out what he wants, and come back later and buy it. You're going to buy it so hard. You are a great friend.
Just a friend.
"Dave?" You call, knocking on his door. You're ready for the winter. You have your old cloak on as a first layer, then a heavier jacket that you bought when the leaves started to fall. Two layers of pants, a sweater, and snow boots that are so heavy they feel more like bricks, and you're ready to go. Often, you'll add a scarf or a hat, but today you had decided not to bother. "Dave, you home?" Sometimes he is, sometimes he isn't. What can you say? He's a popular guy.
You hear the sound of something thumping, and hurried footsteps before Dave pulls the door open. "Karkat!" He smiles when he sees you. You try not to let your heart get too excited. It's pounding like crazy. You wonder why. "Hey." Dave pauses as he finally takes notice of your outfit. "What's with the get up?"
You roll your eyes, gesturing wildly at the window behind him, the snow clear to see as it blankets the ground. "We're going shopping today." You say. It's not a suggestion. "And I know you might find this hard to believe, but I'd prefer to not freeze my ass off, thank you very much." You tell him.
He takes a moment to process what you're saying, and his smile slips into a frown. You almost let it affect you. "Karkat, I'm sorry." Dave sighs. "I can't today."
Okay, that actually does affect you. You frown in confusion. "Why not?" You hope that he at least has a decent reason. If this is a joke, you will punch him in the face. Softly. Because you don't want to hurt him but also want him to know that you're really upset. Even if you aren't. Because him joking with you would make Dave laugh, and his laugh is really cute, and-
Maybe you should shut the fuck up for now and just listen to what he has to say.
Dave runs a hand through his hair, pushing his shades up to rub at his eyes. You don't see their color (you never have) but the bags under his eyes worry you. He should be getting more sleep. "Okay, so, you kinda became a hermit last year, so I forgive you for not knowing, but…" He trails of, fixing his shades back into position, "this whole week is the week when a bunch of nobles come to town to appeal to the queen and king and buy a lot of shit from the market while they're here." Dave explains with a grimace. "They're all self-entitled pricks. I stay inside this time of year, to avoid them. If you want to go, you can, but if you really need me there for whatever reason, you'll have to wait until next week. When they're gone." Dave sounds especially tense to you, so you decide not to push it. He has his reasons. Maybe a bad interaction with one of them? Someday, you might ask him.
"Alright." You relent with a small sigh. "I can go alone. It's not a lot that I was looking to buy. I just didn't want to go out in this Hellish weather all alone." You say, that half-hoping that Dave will feel guilty and agree to come anyway, but he just nods.
"If you're sure." Dave agrees. "I'll see you later." He steps forward, wrapping you in a brief hug. Your heart leaps up into your throat, and you tense. By the time you come back down to Earth, Dave has let you go and he's shutting his apartment door behind him.
Disappointment pools in your chest and you bite your bottom lip, but you aren't all that surprised. You had been the one to suggest going alone. You could have gone inside with him and just had tea or something. You're starting to get sick of tea, but you're not sick of Dave yet, so you tolerate it. Even if sometimes you find yourself wishing that Dave has a potted plant so that you have something to discretely pour it into. Actually, why don't you give him one? Christmas is the holiday of giving or something else stupid and mushy, right? A potted plant. The perfect gift. How are you so good at this shit?
You feel a little more light-hearted after that. Which is a feeling that immediately withers when you actually step out into the cold. God, why would you ever think this was a good idea? Well, it's too late now. You're already outside, so you might as well suffer.
You head off, absentmindedly fiddling with your bag of coins as you do. It's really full, almost to the point of overspilling. You're glad that you have the opportunity to lighten your load a little. As much as you like having money, you don't like appearing as a target to those who would prefer to steal than earn money. Huh. That… kind of makes you a hypocrite, doesn't it? Oh, well. There are worse things to be.
The snow and gravel make that crunching sound that you hate with every step. It's annoying beyond description, but you have to suck it up. Besides levitation, which is impossible, you can think of no other way to travel that won't make that noise. You curse the decision to live so far away from the market. You would curse Dave, since he was the one who suggested it, but you can't. It was you who asked for the room, not Dave. You can't be mad at him.
Unsurprisingly, the streets are rather empty. And it has nothing to do with the cold. The closer you get to the market, the more clear it is that Dave was telling the truth about the nobles. Impressive-looking carriages line the streets, all of them with at least one person watching them. They don't take your eyes off of you as you pass, be it the carriage driver, or someone waiting inside. It's unnerving as Hell, and you find your steps quickening. But that is nothing compared to the market itself.
Your boss is a fairly wealthy woman, so you've seen nice decor and outfits and things of the like. Even so, that does nothing to prepare you for the sheer amount of wealth being shown off in the market center.
It feels like everyone is dressed to impress, but to impress who, you aren't sure, because the whole market is empty aside from the nobles and the clearly uncomfortable store owners. Layers of silk and cotton and wool meet you at every turn, as well as the suspicious stares, from men and women alike. You ignore them. If the flashing gold and jeweled accessories they're obsessed with have somehow tricked them into believing that they're important, then do you have some news to share. Your destination is clear cut, as all thoughts of shopping go out the window. One of the nobles here could have valuable information. Infiltration means understanding the enemy, who happens to be the king. You know that he's paranoid, but you don't know exactly what you're dealing with. You should probably figure that out.
You don't necessarily consider John a close friend, but you head over to him regardless. He's worked here for a few years and more. He should be able to answer a few simple questions. Otherwise you'll need to reconsider which of Dave's friends you choose to interact with.
"John!" You call, waving a little as you step up to him. Luckily, his stand is free of costumers. You already know that nobles don't take well to being interrupted.
He smiles when you approach, and- no, you still can't see what it is about him that is so appealing to Dave. It's a nice enough smile, you guess. And the buckteeth are a little cute? But it doesn't do anything for you. "Hey, Karkat." He greets, relief in his voice as he leans forward against his stand to talk to you. "What brings you to the market on this jolly day?"
You snort, rolling your eyes at the sarcasm. "I was going to shop, but apparently someone beat me to it." You remark with disdain, resisting the urge to look around the market. "A lot of someones."
"A lot of very annoying someones." John adds, grinning. Out of all the store owners with stands set up, he looks to be the least upset. His smiles are a little less forced, and his enthusiasm just a bit more believable. "They come every year." He sighs. "Maybe they think that the king and queen would only let the finest quality products in their market." He snickers.
Despite yourself, you smile. Like him or not, John has this… air about him that makes you feel like everything is going to be okay and it convinces you to relax. It's odd, and you don't trust it, but it's still nice. "I don't think the king and queen would care if you literally sold someone's ass." You agree. "Just so long as you don't sell it to them." John hums in recognition, and you take the opportunity to switch conversation topics. "So," You gesture to the nobles flittering about the market, "are none of them even the least bit nice?" You ask, one eyebrow raised.
John shrugs. "Most of them." He tells you. "Some are nicer than others like with most groups of people, but- oh!" He shoots up into a proper standing position as something occurs to him. "Feferi is really sweet." John snaps his fingers triumphantly, like you should be impressed, but all you do is raise an eyebrow. He turns red, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Your expression doesn't change, and he hurries to continue. "She's that noble girl. Over there." And he points to girl with more hair than you've ever seen in your life.
You're not even kidding. It's the first noteworthy thing about her, cascading down her back and over her shoulders in smooth, black ribbons. She clearly puts a lot of time into it, because it's smooth-looking and you bet that it's so soft that it would slip right though your fingers if you tried to grab it. You won't, though. Something tells you that you haven't earned the honor to do so.
Then you realize what she's wearing. Layers so thick that you can't imagine how she walks, just like the other noble ladies, but it's all in such an ungodly shade of pink that you wonder if she went to the fabric store and, when prompted for a color, just told them, "the most eye-sore color you can come up with" and they gave her that. You really hate fuchsia.
"Feferi, huh?" You muse to yourself. That name is familiar to you. But, ah well. You're sure that you heard it somewhere while undercover on a job. It's odd, though. You're usually so good with remembering names and faces.
John nods a little, assuming that you're prompting him to continue the conversation. "Yeah. She's really nice - doesn't even bring servants with her to carry all of her things. Which is probably not that smart since she buys something from everyone." He chuckles a little. "She doesn't even need the stuff- she just likes giving people business. I heard that she actually gives it all to the homeless and poor when she gets back to her town." Your eyes widen a little when you hear that.
"Really?" You blink. God, and you thought Dave was the selfless one. Feferi sounds like she's on a whole other level entirely.
Again, John nods, looking smug. "Yeah. Well, at least, that's the rumor. I'd talk to her more, but the guy she always has with her is completely unbearable." He grimaces.
You see what he's talking about. There's a guy standing next to Feferi, looking very unhappy with all of the things she's bought in his arms. It's funny to you that she's making her fiancé (you think?) carry it all instead of her servants. He certainly doesn't look very happy with the decision, though.
"His name is Eridan." John says, waving dismissively. "He's trying to court her, I think, but she's not interested." He smiles a little. "It's actually kind of funny - to see her shut him down. He does have some pretty impressive patience, though. Even when I was seven and just starting to work and they were coming with their parents, he's wanted to marry her." John sighs. "I actually sometimes feel sorry for him. And then I remember that he's a complete dick."
You nod a little bit, watching them browse the jewelry stand. "Noted." You say. "Well. Wish me luck."
John blinks in surprise, staring up at you like you just lost your mind. The joke's on him. You lost it years ago. "Woah, what? You're actually going to go talk to her? Why?" He asks, curiosity and worry fighting for control of his expression.
You shrug. "Just to see something." You tell him vaguely. There's no rule that says that you need to explain yourself to John of all people. You block out his protests and questions, stalking over to the jewelry stand like you're exactly where you're supposed to be. If you pretend to be confident - act like you are, talk like you are, walk like you are - then people will think you're confident. It's always worked before. No reason that it can't work now.
The guy she drags with her - Eridan, or something stupid like that - narrows his eyes suspiciously at you as you approach. You ignore him. You have your sights set on the ring section, and you skim through the selections with feigned interest. None of them are very eye-catching to you. There's a simple, silver band that you think is kind of nice. It's not like any of the other, heavily decorated ones. You think that Dave would like it, but then you remember that these are engagement rings and move on to the bracelets instead. That's a safer place to be looking.
Feferi, for the most part, appears to be struggling. She's frowning at the two necklaces in her hands, both of them gold, but one decorated with sapphires and the other with rubies. You pretend not to be looking, even as your heart pounds in your ribcage. Fuck. Now is your moment. The universe has given you a chance.
You clear your throat, catching her attention. Her hair bounces and writhes around her face as she tilts her head up to look at you, and for a moment, you compare it to a living, breathing mass. But then the moment passes and that ridiculous notion is shoved to the side. "Who are you buying for?" You ask with a hopefully convincing smile.
Whatever her answer is, Feferi doesn't get a chance to reply before her suitor is stepping in front of her. "Wwhat makes you think that you're wworthy of speakin' to her, peasant?" He snarls, and you're so caught off guard by his stupid accent that you forget to be offended at all.
You go to reply, but Feferi beats you to it. "Eridan!" She snaps, shoving him out of the way. It's not a very good attempt - she couldn't have moved him at all if Eridan hadn't let her. "Don't be so rude! He's just making pleasant conversation!"
You almost laugh at the look on Eridan's face - like a kicked puppy. Almost laugh. "But-" He tries to protest.
"No buts!" Feferi says firmly, stomping her foot for emphasis. You wonder if John was lying when he told you that Eridan is courting her. They behave more like a parent and their spoiled child. It's more entertaining than it should be. "Be nice! You're the reason that the other commoners are too scared to talk to me, so quit it for a day, alright?" She's calmed down some, but you can see the set scowl on her face.
Eridan is quiet for a moment, thinking over his options, before he begrudgingly nods. "Alrigh', Fef." He murmurs, burying his face in his sweater and looking at the ground. And you have to admit it. You're impressed.
Satisfied, Feferi turns back to you, smiling like nothing happened at all. "Sorry about that." She apologizes, twisting a strand of hair around her finger as she talks. Is she nervous? It looks that way. You can't seriously be the first commoner she's held a conversation with. Right? "What were you saying?"
It takes a moment for you to process the question and remember the answer. "Uh… who are you buying for?" You ask, one eyebrow raised. Maybe this whole "conversation" thing wasn't such a good idea. There are easier ways to learn about the king and queen, right? You can't think of any off of the top of your head, but there must be some alternative to this fucking mess.
Feferi actually looks taken aback by your question, staring down at the two pieces in her hand. "I hadn't thought about it." She admits. "But- my mom. She would like this one." Feferi holds up the one with rubies, setting the other down.
The lady running the stall smiles, looking relieved that Feferi is going to be leaving. "That will be 425 gold pieces, sweetie." She says, and you know that she's jacking the price up, but Feferi pays it happily and with a smile regardless.
Eridan doesn't seem quite as happy with the transaction, but he stays quiet as told, taking the necklace when Feferi hands it to him without complaint. He merely adds it to the rest of her purchases, looking extremely displeased. It's kind of admirable. He knows by now that he isn't getting anything out of it, but he does it anyway. Hope is a very stubborn thing.
You expect your interactions with the two of them to end there, but to your surprise, Feferi grabs you by the wrist and pulls you along with her to the next shop. Eridan glares daggers at the place where your skin meets hers, and you do your best to ignore it. You don't see what the big deal is. It's not like you're kissing her passionately and gripping her chest or anything. That must be how Eridan views it though, because he doesn't lessen the intensity of his gaze until she stops walking and drops your hand. Even still, you can feel Eridan watching you. Which makes absolute no sense because she was the one who initiated contact, not you. This goes beyond jealousy. It's pretty much straight-up possession. You wonder if Feferi knows. Probably not, based on the fact that she still goes near him.
"Um, I don't mean to be rude," you begin, getting Feferi's attention, "but you want to keep talking to me because…?" You don't get it. You haven't said anything all that noteworthy.
Feferi nods, smiling widely as she turns back to the stand. It's a fruit stand, and all of the produce looks to be old. It's winter, so fresh crops aren't all that easy to come across. Still, nothing has rotted yet, and you seriously doubt that Feferi is actually going to eat them. "Of course!" She says in a chipper tone. "I love making new friends! It doesn't happen too often because Eridan over here scares them all off." She scowls, elbowing him in the side playfully. Despite her words though, Feferi doesn't seem genuinely upset, and she smiles at him.
You feel bad for Eridan. He's so deep in the friendzone that you don't think he even realizes it anymore.
"Speaking of making friends," she continues, "we haven't been properly introduced!" Feferi holds her hand out for you to shake. "I'm Feferi Piexes, and this is Eridan Ampora." A quick flick of the wrist in his general direction.
You hum a little, shaking her hand firmly a few times before dropping it. "I'm Karkat… Vantas." They gave out last names, so you will, too. "The commoner you are apparently wanting to hang out with?" You frown in confusion.
"Well, it's just that-" Feferi sighs, twisting a strand of hair around her pointer finger. Definitely a nervous habit. "I don't actually get to talk to commoners very often." She admits.
You raise an eyebrow. "But I heard that you passed out all of the stuff you buy to homeless people?" You ask. But maybe John isn't the best source for information like this.
This statement seems to upset Feferi, as she sighs and shakes her head. "No. I have to get my servants to do it for me." She explains. "My mother wouldn't let me associate with people who make so little money. Which is why I've started coming here every winter alone. Well, with Eridan." A wave in his direction. "But he's promised to tell mom that he kept me on my best behavior." Feferi smiles again, and Eridan looks away. These two are very odd for nobles. You do wish that you could remember why Feferi looks so familiar to you, though. Where have you seen her before? It's really beginning to bother you. Eridan isn't all that familiar. But the chances of him leaving her alone are slim to none. So… where are you remembering her from, then?
"Sounds like a great friend." You remark dryly. Eridan picks up on your sarcastic tone, glaring sharply at you. You ignore him. Feferi doesn't seem to notice, and nods happily in agreement.
"He is!" She nods, her hair bouncing around her with the movement. "We've been friends for as long as I can remember, since our parents know each other!" Feferi smiles fondly, likely remembering something from childhood, and you see Eridan soften a little. Love is disgusting, you decide. It's like the way Dave looks at John. Sickening.
You hum a little, when a thought occurs to you. "If you want… Feferi…" You use her name hesitantly, earning yourself a sharp look from Eridan, but she just waits for you to continue. "I can show you how us commoners live. It will get you out of the cold, and I'm sure that your friend over here is starting to get tired of holding all this stuff." You suggest, gesturing to Eridan for emphasis.
Feferi nods rapidly, looking at her friend with wide eyes. "Eridan!" She snaps, grabbing some of the stuff he's holding. "Why didn't you say you were getting tired? I would have helped sooner!" Her tone is more worried and concerned than angry though, and Eridan is flushed from more than just the cold as she helps him out. You step forward to offer your assistance, but Feferi shoos you back. You don't mind. If she wants to carry her own things, then who are you to stop her? At least you can say that you tried. Like the gentleman you are apparently becoming.
When all is said and done, Feferi is carrying half of her things. Eridan had protested at first, but begrudgingly accepted her help once it became clear that she wasn't going to back down. It probably doesn't hurt that his load is a lot lighter now. He looks relieved. You've found that Eridan is a lot easier to tolerate when he's not talking. It's not like he's some crawling blob monster or anything. You think that Eridan is fairly good looking. His nose is a little disproportionate to his jaw, and his eyes are on the thin side, but neither of those things are really a huge deal. You hadn't even noticed until you started looking for reasons to dislike him. But you're not petty enough to hold something like his features - inherited from his mom and dad and not his choice - against him.
Even though it would be really easy.
"So," Feferi turns to you once she has everything situated. She does her best not to show that she's struggling, but it's pretty easy to see that she isn't accustomed to carrying so much stuff. "are you going to show us to your house?" Excitement works it's way into her voice. You honestly don't get it. Commoners really aren't all that fascinating. At least Eridan seems to have warmed up to you. Slightly.
You nod a little, smoothing out your put-off expression. "Yeah, sure thing." You say slowly. "That is- if you're bodyguard over here is confident that this isn't a murder." You probably shouldn't have said that.
Eridan gives you a funny look, like he's actually considering you to be a threat, and Feferi just laughs. Apparently, this time she picks up on your sarcastic tone. "Oh, Karkat!" She chortles, wrenching one hand out from underneath her pile of pointless shit to set on your arm. She leans in close to talk into your ear. "My mom would have you killed if you so much as twitched menacingly in my direction." Feferi hissed, grinning widely all the while. "You would not be here if you were even the tiniest threat to me, and I know you were joking, but I don't think you understand just how far her reach is."
After that she pulls back, appearing to take satisfaction from the absolutely terrified look on your face. "Alright, then." Feferi shifts her other hand back under the pile, right back to being cheery. "You were showing us to your house?"
How do you get yourself into situations with all these crazy people, again?
"Alright." You sigh, defeated, as you push open the door to your apartment. "This is where I live." You tell them, gesturing at the suddenly tiny space. Feferi looks to be in some sort of horrified awe, but she still sets her stuff down on the counter when you gesture for her to do so. Eridan follows suit, but he doesn't look surprised like she does. He just looks disgusted and kind of confused, like maybe he's trying to wrap his mind around how you can live with so little space. It's kind of pathetic.
Feferi's huge hoop skirt takes up so much room that you honestly aren't sure how she even got in the door. But she seems to be an expert at navigating in one, because she squeezes into your sitting area with little problem. "Well, this is... " She trails off, searching for the right words, "...homely."
You snort, and roll your eyes. "Yeah. That's one way of putting it." You let Feferi and Eridan explore your little living room and move to dig around in the cupboards. "Do you drink tea?" You ask over your shoulder, pulling out the tea leaves that Dave gave you the other day. He said that they were peppermint, your favorite, but you haven't tried them yet, so you aren't sure if he was kidding or not. Well, whatever. You'll make them anyway.
"Yes." Eridan says shortly, sounding hesitant, like he isn't sure if he's allowed to speak just yet. Feferi doesn't correct him though, so he leans back in his seat, satisfied. Great. Now you have to deal with whatever-the-fuck his personality is, too. So far, you've avoided having to learn how to read him, but not anymore.
Still, you nod and get out three cups. "You can have peppermint, then." You tell them. It isn't up for debate. Eridan looks like he wants to argue with that, but he pauses, and must decide that it isn't worth it, because he doesn't say anything.
A few minutes later, you're pressing warm cups into their hands, sitting down in the last available chair. Feferi sips her tea gingerly, and you can tell that it's not as good as what she's used to. Still, it must not be completely terrible either, because she drinks it with practiced poise. Eridan is less graceful about the whole thing, making an over-exaggerated face in what you assume is an attempt to hurt your feelings. Yes. Because you so desperately care about what this asshole thinks of your lackluster tea.
"I haven't had peppermint before." Feferi admits as she drinks it. You don't feel the need to mention that it's because peppermint is a rather cheap and common flavor. You think that they know that. "It's really good, Karkat! Where did you get it?"
You shrug, frowning as you look down at your empty cup. You don't really feel inclined to get up and refill it though, so you instead set it down on the table in front of you. "My friend Dave has a friend who has a little herb garden." You explain. "She grows them herself and gives them to Dave, and sometimes he'll give me some." This is a very simple explanation. So you don't understand why Feferi and Eridan look so… surprised?
Eridan raises an eyebrow. "His name is Davve?" He asks, and fuck, it is so hard to take him seriously with that accent. But he hasn't been out-right rude in at least five minutes, so you return the favor by resisting the urge to give a smartass reply.
"Um... yeah?" You tilt your head to the side, frowning in confusion. "Why? Is that some sort of insult to nobles?"
Upon hearing this, Eridan snorts with laughter, and Feferi elbows him harshly until he eventually stops. He's still smiling pretty hard, though. "No, that's not it, Karkat." Feferi says gingerly, shaking her head. "It's just that the name Dave is-"
"Shh!" Eridan cuts her off this time, shaking his head. "Fef, if he doesn't already knoww, then don't bother tellin' him." He says firmly. "It's not like his life'll get any better wwith useless "noble" trivvia." He crosses his arms, giving Feferi a look and she begrudgingly sighs.
"Fine." Feferi pouts, looking away. And that seems to be the end of the conversation, Eridan looking satisfied as he leans back.
There's an awkward pause. You don't know what just happened. Feferi was going to tell you something… useless? Then why does it matter if she tells you? Wait. You know what? Whatever. You don't care. It doesn't matter. You just need to get through this visit. You've pretty much given up all hope of getting useful information out of these two.
Feferi is fiddling with her skirt, pinching and tugging at the fuchsia fabric. You think that you know why, and she looks up at you, biting her lip. "Where's the chamber pot?" She asks quietly. And yeah, you were right.
You shake your head. "There isn't one. We have an outhouse around the back of the building, though." You tell her. She grimaces at the thought. Still, relief is relief, and Feferi gets to her feet, Eridan following suit.
"Do you need help, Fef?" He offers. "Someone to… hold your skirt?" They share a look, disgust crawling over both of their features at the implications.
She considers it for a moment, then shakes her head. "No, I've got it. I know how to pull my skirt up." Feferi tells him, and Eridan slowly sinks back down into his seat. "I can handle something like an outhouse." She says, but it sounds like she's mostly talking to herself. It's all kind of amusing to you. Seriously. What's the big deal about an outhouse? Still, Feferi takes a deep breath, steadying herself, then walks over to the door. "Be back soon!" She calls over her shoulder, then the door shuts behind her and you're alone with Eridan.
You count down from three in your head.
You don't even get to one before Eridan is on his feet, his fist knotted in your shirt collar as he hauls you out of the chair. He's aiming to intimidate, as evidenced by the way he's snarling at you, but you stare back with exasperation. You've been hired to kill people more important than him. You're all but dead inside, anyway. Him actually killing you probably wouldn't faze you.
"Can you let go?" You ask irritably, frowning like his existence is the most inconvenient thing you've ever had to deal with. He's starting to crease your hood- the one you always wear, and have worn for as long as you can remember.
Eridan just holds you tighter, almost choking you. Not that you let him see that. "Wwhy should I?" He shoots back, one eyebrow raised. "You talked about hurtin' Fef. I'm not as trustin' as she is. Howw coincidental is it that you start talkin' to us and wwe just happen to end up at your "house"?" He spits out the word, using his free hand to do the air quotes.
You scowl, pushing his hands off of you and standing up straight. "I was just trying to be nice, but if you'd prefer me to be a complete dick, I can do that much easier." You tell him. "I mean- it's not like you in particular have done anything to deserve good treatment, have you?" You jab your finger into his chest for emphasis.
He looks flabbergasted, offended either because you're touching him or because you implied that he doesn't deserve anything. Not that you really care why he's offended. "Don't deservve-?" His expression clouds over with anger. "Wwho the anglin' fuck do you think you are, peasant? Do you havve any idea wwho my father is?"
"No!" You snap, glaring up at him. "No, I do not, and you know what? It doesn't fucking matter! You still wouldn't deserve anything if your father created something that eliminates the need to shit! That's his accomplishment! What have you ever done? Do you even know that the word "struggle" or "suffer" means?" You're fuming now, no doubt red in the face as you just barely keep yourself from screaming at him.
If you're red, then Eridan is practically purple as shakes with rage. "I've suffered!" He doesn't bother with volume control. "Do you know who my mom was? A fucking whore. Some common whore that didn't deserve to carry me, and I've had to pay for it every second of every day of my entire shitting life!" He looks like he wants to hit you. You don't see why he doesn't.
"At least you know your parents." You seethe. This catches Eridan off guard, his expression creasing in confusion as you advance on him. "My parents could be bakers or blacksmiths or strangers who made a drunken mistake, or maybe even the fucking queen and king, but I'll never know because they're dead!" You walk forward, pushing him back bit by bit as Eridan tries to put distance between the two of you. The backs of your eyes sting. You don't care. You don't want to stop now that you've gotten started. "Or worse, they just didn't want me! And- and-" You're crying now, tears burning your cheeks as he looks on, silent and maybe even a little concerned. "And I used to think that things would get better!" You continue. "I had a friend, like what you have with Feferi. He- he trusted me, and-" The tears come faster. Memories flash in your mind. They hurt- just as much as they did the first time you were greeted by them in your dreams. "And now he's dead!" You manage finally. Any concern that Eridan was holding back is now clearly visible on his face. "I- I killed him! He trusted me and I- I got him run through with a fucking sword!"
You latch onto Eridan's shirt front, burying your face in his chest as your body shakes with silent sobs. He hesitates, unsure, and loosely wraps his arms around you. He doesn't say anything- Eridan just holds you and lets you cry. He's still doing that when Feferi returns, and they must exchange a look, because then she's pressed against you from behind, hugging you as well.
All you can do is cry.
