A/N: Whew, I struggled with this chapter for some reason! Never fear, I've gotten back in my groove and have things planned out for the next couple chapters. Thank you for your reviews! Please, Please Please keep them coming, they are very inspiring. And now:::

Chapter 8

I felt numb as I sat down in my window seat and stared out over the Tarmac. I was still a doctor but I had no hospital, no residency program. It was surreal that all the hard work I'd put into my career had all but flown out of the door with one phone call. Well, one phone call preceded by the death of my husband. I may have been able to keep my position if it was just one or the other. That wasn't life though. At least, that wasn't my life. Mom always said that bad things came in threes and that was starting to scare the shit out of me.

I leaned back against the seat and wondered how I was supposed to show my face after storming out of the clubhouse following my fight with Clay. I meant every word I had said and had no intentions to apologize but I didn't look forward to the drama. I should have been used to it. The argument about the warehouse was probably in our top three showdowns. When I was in high school, we had a huge fight when I had run my mouth about Clay being unable to tell me what to do because he wasn't my father and I wasn't a Son. It wasn't too bad until I brought my Dad up. That's when all of our arguments got bad. I understood that it was partially my fault that we fought so much but had he treated me the same as Jax when we were growing up, I may not have resented him as much. Instead, he tried to rule me with an iron fist. I had a curfew where Jax never did, I had to let Clay know where I was if I wasn't at home, school or the garage, I was constantly reminded to mind my manners around the club so as to not embarrass him. Now that I'm older, it all seems pretty trivial but it ruined any type of relation we could have had.

It felt like the flight took forever, even though it was direct to San Francisco. I knew my credit card company was going to love all of the charges for these tickets, my bank account was a different story. It didn't matter though. I wasn't going to stay on the other side of the country when my family needed me. Even if I couldn't do anything for my nephew, I could be there for Jax and Mom. Part of me regretted leaving my job but family was everything to me. It was how I was raised.

"Hey, thanks for coming out here." I told Juice as I met him at the baggage claim. He shrugged it off and helped me with my bags while making conversation about the flight and the weather. I climbed into the passenger seat of the black cargo van and thanked him for the ride again. "Is there any update on the baby?"

"Uh, yeah. They did surgery. He's really early and needs surgery for his heart and stomach. That's all I really know." He said with a frown. I sighed and called Mom to get more information on the bad news. It was worse than I had expected. She said that not only did he have the Teller flaw, a hole in his heart, but he was also born with gastrointestinal problems. It was hard for me not to use medical terms for everything she told me, but I resisted, knowing it wouldn't make her feel any better about it. I knew that the outlook wasn't good. She also told me that Wendy was at the hospital detoxing.

"She's going to have a lot worse problems than detoxing when I get there. I told her. I fucking told her what would happen if anything happened with my nephew." I said, noticing Juice looking over at me with widened eyes. I ignored him until I got off the phone with Mom. "Sorry."

"Nah, you don't have to be sorry. Just surprised to hear that coming from you. You seem sweet." He said with a shrug. I laughed. Everyone thought that and it was true until I was backed into a corner or someone messed with my family. "I mean, nice. You know?"

"I know, Juice. You really don't have to tip-toe around me." I said with a little smile. He seemed nervous and I couldn't really put my finger on why. Most patches were cocky and sure of themselves. Juice seemed like an enigma of sorts. "So, how long have you been patched in?"

"Uh, two years almost. Jax sponsored me." He said, sounding a little more confident. I nodded and the conversation sort of fell away naturally. I was lost in thoughts and worries about my little nephew and what was going to happen with him. I wanted to be there to celebrate his birthdays and see him grow up. I didn't want to have another headstone to visit. I had enough of those to last me a life time.

"Mom, where's Jax?" I asked, hugging her tightly. She sighed and shook her head as Clay looked on from a couple feet away.

"He went to pay a visit to Wendy's dealer. You know Jax, baby. He can't just sit and do nothing." I did know that and it wasn't comforting. "I'm glad you're able to be here. They have the surgery planned for in the morning. They're going to fix his heart first then hopefully his tummy." Mom's bottom lip quivered and I had to switch into doctor mode to keep from crying myself. I was a sympathetic crier when it came to Mom and Jax. If I saw either one of them crying, I couldn't help but start to cry myself. I saw Tara walking up the hall and turned my attention to her.

"Tara, can I see him?" I asked, meeting her a few yards from Mom and Clay. She glanced past me and then back at me with a small nod. I nodded and followed her back down the hall she had been walking up. "How bad is it?"

"If it was anyone else's son and grandson, I would tell the family to seriously prepare themselves for a less than favorable outcome. If it wasn't a trifecta of problems it wouldn't be so bad. Each of the challenges he's facing could be fatal on their own. This little guy has the odds against him." Tara must have seen the heartbreak I was feeling because she caught my hand a gave it a little squeeze. "He's still Jax's son. He's a fighter. It's in his blood."

I looked inside of the incubator and almost got sick. I had seen premature babies plenty during medical school and at the hospital. It wasn't even his appearance that bothered me. It was knowing that he was my family, that was my little nephew, so vulnerable and small. I placed my hand on top of the plastic lid and closed my eyes, saying a little prayer in case anyone was listening. Tara was telling me about their strategy for the surgery in the morning but I could hardly hear her over the blood pounding in my ears. I swallowed hard and stepped back, letting my hand fall to my side. Tara stopped talking and looked at me with concern written all over her face.

"Where is Wendy?" I asked, hearing the venom in my own voice. We stepped out of the isolated NICU room and back into the hall before she shook her head. "Tara, that bitch may have signed that child's death certificate before he even had a damn chance. I warned her. It's not like she didn't know this was coming. She knew what she was doing to him and she just didn't care."

"Lexie, I understand. I still can't let you in there to finish her off. She's not out of the woods yet either." Tara said, obviously choosing her words carefully. I shook my head, annoyed and frustrated. "Just be with your Mom, Lexie. Jax is, well, being Jax. Gemma needs someone to help her through this. I promise I'll keep you updated throughout the night. Make her go home to get some rest. Being exhausted won't help anyone."

"Yeah, yeah. I know, Doc. I'll get the old woman home and settled in. Anything happens, I want to know first." I said, doubting Mom's heart could go through hearing bad news from anyone else. She nodded and gave me a hug before we parted ways. After a lot of convincing from both Clay and I, we got Mom to head home for the night. I drove her car and Clay followed behind on his bike. "You've got to get some sleep, Mom."

"I know baby. You do to. You look exhausted, did you leave right from the hospital?" I bit my lip, not wanting to add to her stress by telling her I had actually left the hospital for good in order to come out here. I nodded and faked a smile as best I could.

"Yeah, I was about to go into surgery when Tara called me." I gritted my teeth, knowing I had just stuck my foot in my mouth. Mom thought I had just returned the calls I missed from her. She had no idea I even knew Tara was back in town.

"Tara called you? So, I'm guessing it wasn't a surprise to hear she was back in town? How long have you known, Alexis?" I groaned at the line of questioning but at least we were off the subject of my job. I gave her the short version of meeting up with Tara at a conference and keeping in touch. She wasn't amused. "After what she did to Jax?"

"Mom, Wendy just did a lot more damage to Jax and our family than Tara ever did. Besides, I left too. Remember?" I hated to play the devil's advocate but it was the truth. I had left Charming, even further behind than Tara did. The biggest difference was that people knew I was going, where as Tara just disappeared one day.

"That's different and you know it. I'm going to bed. You let me know if your best friend knows anything." Mom said, closing the car door before I could say anything to defend myself. I took a deep breath and turned the car off before getting out. Clay walked up and stopped beside me.

"Jax is okay. He's blowing off some more steam at the clubhouse. Give him some time." He said simply before continuing into the house. I took a deep breath, needing to blow off some steam of my own. I smoked a cigarette before going inside and lying down, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep. Tara texted me every few hours with updates, but it was just more of the same. When the sun starting breaking the horizon, I decided to go ahead and get out of bed. I was already showered, dressed, and full of too much coffee by the time Mom walked into the kitchen in her robe. She sighed and looked me over.

"Didn't sleep?" She asked. I shook my head even though it felt like more of a rhetorical question. She nodded and poured herself some coffee but she barely touched in the twenty-minutes between pouring it, getting dressed and telling me it was time to leave. I was more than ready and led the way out to her car. Once we got to the hospital, it was just more of the same waiting game. Tara let us know that they were going to be doing both surgeries because if they waited much longer, it would be too much on his system. I tried to call and let Jax know but his phone was either off or he was ignoring me.

"Lexie." I sat up with a start, unaware that I had fallen asleep in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. It was Tara. It was Tara with a small smile. She told us that he had done well during both surgeries and that he was in recovery. There was still some risk, of course, but he was getting closer to clearing the woods. I felt refreshed, like a weight had been lifted off of my chest. Mom was ecstatic and almost looked like she was going to hug Tara. The moment didn't last long before she asked Tara if we could see him.

"His color looks better." Mom said as we got into the car. I nodded. "How long did the hospital give you?"

"What? Oh. Uh, a week or two. It just depended, you know?" I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to talk about it. I didn't want to be a failure in anyone's eyes, especially Mom's. I had her drop me off at the clubhouse on her way home, hoping to catch Jax since he still wasn't answering his phone. I found him sitting at the bar with a croweater draped all over him. I rolled my eyes and kicked the bottom of the stool to get his attention. The croweater jumped back and narrowed her eyes at me. I set her with a dead stare, "Beat it."

"How is he?" Jax asked, as if the woman walking away from us had never been there. I raised my brow, wondering what his problem was. I had yet to see him anywhere near the hospital and he hadn't even bothered to answer his phone. I understood that people coped with things differently but he was being ridiculous. I folded my arms across my chest and took a deep breath.

"He's fighting to stay alive. He made it through surgery and is doing better. Where have you been, Jax? He's your son. You should have been there this morning." I said, trying to keep the bite out of my voice. He eyed me angrily for a minute, but then seemed to deflate.

"I didn't want to be there in case something happened." He finally said quietly. I pursed my lips and sat down next to him. In a way, I understood. It was hard for me to be at the hospital when Hank was there. I wanted to be as far away as possible, even though it wouldn't change what happened. I ended up by his bed though, holding his hand as his life slipped away.

"Well, you need to man up. He's going to make it, Jax, and he's going to need you. His mother is a piece of shit, don't be a dead beat dad." I said, shoving his arm. He nodded and offered me a drink. I held up my hand, "Coffee is the only thing keeping me awake."

"Sure that will change." He said with a smirk. I raised my brow, wondering what in the hell he was talking about. I followed his gaze and saw Happy walking through the door. A smile started tugging at my lips as I looked back towards the bar bashfully. Jax laughed. "Really, Lexie?"

"Shut up." I growled. He laughed again and stood up, welcoming Happy with a hug. I turned and gave him a tight smile, unsure of what to say or where we stood. I hadn't talked to him since our ride that night. He nodded towards me but didn't say anything, not that he normally did. Jax leaned over and kissed my forehead before walking out of the clubhouse, leaving Happy and I alone aside from a couple croweaters milling around cleaning and gossiping. "Hey."

"You look tired." He said, taking Jax's seat. I nodded, unable to muster up the energy to lie. "How long are you staying this time?"

"I'm not sure yet. At least until Abel is released from the hospital, I think." I glanced over at his ringed hands, noticing some discoloration on his knuckles. He turned and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"Your hospital doesn't mind?" He seemed suspicious. I dropped my eyes from him, knowing there was no way to avoid telling him the truth. At least if I had to tell him I wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"It was come home for Abel or keep my job." I said before taking a deep breath. "Here I am. I'll figure something out when I get back."

"It's family, Lexie. There's always other jobs." He said with a nod. My eyes flitted up to him and I bit my bottom lip. He smirked and ran his eyes up and down my body. I could feel myself warming up. He stood up, catching me off guard and I almost felt like I was falling. "I'll see you around."

Tara blinked and looked at me dumbfounded. I nodded and finished my beer after telling her all about my one and only conversation with Happy the week before. He was still in town and I had seen him around the clubhouse and Charming, but he had yet to say another word to me. It was driving me crazy. Tara leaned back in her seat and shook her head, obviously just as confused as I was. We were finally having a girls' night to celebrate Abel's progress and to unwind.

"I don't get it. I'll see you around?" Tara repeated, waving the waitress over so we could order some more drinks. I nodded with a roll of my eyes. What was more frustrating was that he didn't seem mad, he wasn't avoiding me, he just seemed to see me as part of the background. "Have you said anything to him about it?"

"What? No. If he wants to be an anti-social asshole then that's his problem." I said. It took a minute for me to hear myself and realize how juvenile I sounded. Tara rolled her eyes and I sighed dramatically. "He's probably just not interested anymore."

"How drunk are you, Lexie? You two have been playing this cat and mouse game for years. He's always sounded like he was crazy about you." She said with a laugh. I raised my brow and took a sip of the new mixed drink in front of me. Tara was right, at least about the cat and mouse game. I met Happy when I was sixteen and he was twenty-six, which is a big reason why we never let anyone know about our involvement. For the first year or so it was just flirting and the occasional make-out sessions in dark corners during parties. We were never anything serious or exclusive.

Fast forward a year to the night after my junior prom and you would have thought he was a jealous boyfriend. He was sore about me going to the prom with my then boyfriend Matt. An argument led to making out, as usual, but for the first time making out then led to hooking up. Afterwards he'd told me that I wouldn't be able to not think about him when I was with Matt. I hated him for being right. I broke it off with Matt maybe a month later. Things with Happy and I heated up and I stopped seeing anyone else. I knew that he was still hooking up with sweetbutts when he was on the road or back in Tacoma, but we were never actually exclusive and I knew I would be leaving for college so it never really bothered me. Years later, sitting in the bar with Tara, things were different, I cared.

"More like crazy in general. I'm going to text him." I said, pulling out my phone. Tara shook her head and moved to take it. It was too late. I already sent him a drunken text. It didn't take long before he called my phone. I just stared at it as it vibrated on top of the table. "Shit. What do I do?"

"Answer it?" Tara said with a laugh. I groaned and answered it just before it went to voicemail. It was loud in the bar, so I stepped towards the bathrooms to speak to him.

"You could have just texted me back." I said, trying to sound normal. I could almost picture him narrowing his eyes at me. A guy asked me if I was waiting in line and I shook my head, waving him on by.

"Where are you?" His voice was a growl and I bit my lip. I started to wonder what he was doing and found myself getting irritated.

"Oh, you care?" I asked, narrowing my eyes as if he could see me. I took another sip of my drink that I had brought with me and noticed it was almost empty. "Sorry I texted you. I guess I'm a little drunk."

"Alexis, who are you with and where are you?" His voice was more rough and I knew he wasn't happy. Just like every other patch wearing member of the Sons of Anarchy, he was overprotective of me.

"I'm fine, Lowman. Tara and I are in Lodi having dinner and a couple drinks. You may have known that already if you weren't ignoring my existence." I snapped, finally getting to the real reason I had texted him in the first place. He let out a very annoyed sounding sigh and I waited, tapping my foot impatiently.

"I'm not. Which one of you is driving?" I opened my mouth and closed it without speaking a word. It was a really great question. My two drink maximum for driving was well out of the window and I had planned on being the one to drive. Unfortunately that plan changed after Tara was already pretty tipsy.

"We're going to get a cab." I had tried to sound confident but even I could hear the indecision in my voice. There weren't many cab companies in Lodi and there were even fewer companies that didn't charge an arm and a leg for mileage.

"May as well pull a lighter out and burn your cash. Send me the damn address and I'll take care of it." I started to object and he cut me off. "Just send me the fucking address."

I ended the call and muttered under my breath as I walked back to the table, barely managing to text and walk at the same time. Tara had her elbow on the table and her head resting on her hand. There was really no way either of us could drive. I kicked myself for being a crappy designated driver and sat down across from my best friend with a huff.

"So?" Tara asked after I asked the waitress for a water and to close out my tab. I shook my head, wondering how to explain that the jerk that had been ignoring me was now arranging our way back to Charming.

"He's getting us a way back to Charming and claims to have not been ignoring me. Seriously, he gives me whiplash with the back and forth. He acts like he doesn't care, he gets all mad because I'm having a good time in Lodi with my best friend. I wish he would just pick between caring or not and stick with it." I said, handing the waitress a couple twenties. Tara giggled and shook her head innocently. "What?"

"Well, one, we're both drunk. We're well past the good time point there, designated driver. Two, he probably doesn't know if you want him to care or not. I mean, you did leave the state for eight years and you got married." Tara shrugged, as if to say she was sorry for calling me out. I groaned at her logic.

"It's not like he was sitting around pining for me and pledging his celibacy. He didn't even do that before I left. I'm not asking him to do anything more than just not be an asshole." I said, twisting my mouth. I didn't know who I was trying to kid. Of course I wanted more than that. The problem was, I still felt guilty for even considering being with anyone else so soon after losing Hank. That guilt was probably what kept me from saying anything to Happy before. It was amazing what too many drinks during a girls' night could do. We had a couple glasses of water and then headed outside so I could smoke away some of my stress.

"A word about this and you'll be cleaning toilets with your own toothbrush for a month." I almost choked on the smoke in my lungs at the sound of Happy's angry threat. When he had said he would take care of it, I never thought he would be coming to Lodi. I sighed, wishing I could ride in the van with the prospect and avoid what was sure to be a very awkward ride back to Charming. Tara seemed to be thinking something along the same lines. "Which car is yours?"

"The Cutlass." Tara said, holding out her key ring. Happy opened his hand and she dropped them quickly. Tara never spent that much time around Happy and I could tell she was still pretty intimidated by him, not that he would ever do anything to harm her. Still, I could see where she was coming from. I knew grown men that spoke his name like he was Voldemort from Harry Potter or something. I wasn't blind. I knew he was more than capable of doing things that would earn him such fear. I just also knew that he would never hurt me, if not because of our history together than because I was John Teller's daughter.

A/N: End note on this chapter because I'm sure there would be questions. Yes, Lexie will have her "heart to heart" with Wendy, but in time. Her reasoning for waiting will be explained in the next chapter. It's a little, uh, complicated. Hope you liked this chapter! Hope to have a new one posted tomorrow or Wednesday. If not then, you'll have one by this time next week. PROMISE.