April wasn't sure what she was expecting would happen once she got home. She drew the curtains closed in her house and sat in the dark in the dusty living room couch for what felt like an hour before Casey called, startling her out of her stupor.

The house had felt all wrong, the doorknobs didn't fit right in her hands, she had to shift sideways to get into the pantry to see how much food there was and even the small tub didn't fit her shell right. She'd had trouble climbing out of it once the curve of her carapace had gotten stuck at the bottom. By the time she did get out, reached for her bathrobe and realised it wouldn't go all the way around her shell (not by a long shot), she'd felt like crying. Her house didn't fit her any more.

She finally did when she walked past her dad's room and caught a whiff of his scent, still strong despite the time he'd been gone. She missed him so much it hurt.

They only had five out of ten canisters for her dad's retromutagen. Five out of twenty if you included the amount they needed for her dose as well. Curled up on the couch she wondered briefly what her dad would think after being turned back and realising what his daughter had turned into. Would he want her to stay here despite what she'd become or would he think it was a better idea for her to live in the lair with the other turtles? Would he send me away?

She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut dispelling the sombre thoughts and blinking away any more tears that threatened to fall. Maybe deciding to stay here on her own for a few days was a bad idea. She'd be alone with her miserable thoughts about how much her life sucked now.

"It doesn't suck, it's different and it's temporary." She said out loud, trying not to think about the semester she was failing, her dad being a giant mindless bat-monster, how she'd messed things up with the only family she had left in the lair...

A muffled thud on the fire escape outside of the window had her on her feet and on high alert immediately. With her tessen in her hand and her thumb hovering over the emergency button on her t-phone she flattened herself against the wall by the window and waited for any sign of movement. She should have listened to Leo, this was such a bad idea. The apartment must have had some kind of surveillance and they were attacking now while they thought she was asleep. Well, they'd be in for a surprise.

The window slid up quietly as she held her breath and someone poked their head in the room, she lifted her closed tessen, a quick strike to the back of their head and if they were alone it would give her enough time to pull the body inside and make her escape.

"April?" A familiar voice whisper-called and her strike stopped just before touching the back of his head but he must have felt the air move, flinching back in surprise and bumping his head against the top of the window frame.

"Raph! Are you okay? You scared me! Haven't you heard of knocking?" She helped him through the window as he groaned holding his head.

"I thought you were asleep or something." He tried to pull her fussing hands away but she made him sit down and began prodding his skull until he winced when she touched the tender spot.

"You're going to have a lump on the top of your head but it doesn't look serious." He snorted at her as if it were obvious and she pulled away from him, sighing. "What are you doing here, Raph? Did Leo tell you to come?"

"No?" He stated but it came out more as a question. "Sorta." He corrected and then looked around. "Hey, isn't this place a little empty?" He asked, delaying the conversation he wasn't sure about how to start.

April lost her defensiveness and uncrossed her arms, deflating. "Yeah. My Aunt is moving some of our stuff to her flat and putting the rest in storage." She gestured to the boxes piled up near the entrance. "The lease is up at the end of the month and Dad's accounts are empty and she's already had to sell a bunch of things to pay for everything she could before we'd be evicted."

Raphael blinked at the explanation, looking a bit confused. April guessed turtles never really had to bother to find out what renting an apartment entailed. "I'm sorry." He finally answered softly, not really knowing what else to say. "Did you know?"

"Yeah." April shrugged dismissively. "I've talked to her on the phone and stuff but there really isn't much I can do about it. She can't really pay two rents until we come back and since she doesn't really know what's going on, well..." Her voice trailed off at the end.

She didn't want to talk about the last conversation she'd had with her aunt. The way she had cried begging April to come back, that whatever it was that had happened they'd work things out but to please come back. She didn't ask her aunt what she was implying because she wouldn't have an alternative story to give her anyway and the current one of "I'm on vacation with Dad." wasn't cutting it anymore when she couldn't put her Dad on the phone and ran out of excuses about the reasons why.

"If there's anything I can do to help..." Raphael told her, putting a hand on her shoulder and surprising her with the gesture, he'd been avoiding even being near her ever since...

She nodded and pulled away putting a bit of distance between them. "Yeah, anyway, she's going out of town for a few days starting tomorrow and won't be back to move more stuff out until after the trip so I'm just going to stay here for a bit."

"I talked to Donnie." Raphael said quickly, as if he were trying to derail that argument before it started.

After a moment of stunned silence he fidgeted under April's stare. "What does that mean?" She asked slowly, regretting it instantly. This was the crap she was trying to get away from by being here and she couldn't take more bad news with the way things were going with her life.

"We talked and uh, well... he's fine. Okay, not really fine, he's still a mess but he's uh... not so messed up anymore." Raphael was tripping over his words as April looked on. "About us! I mean, he's okay... about us." He finished lamely.

April started nodding, slight movements that were more about her digesting information than actually agreeing with what Raphael had just said, her gaze fixed to the side to a mark on a carpet where some heavy piece of furniture used to be. Raph stared at her hopefully for a long moment but his expression melted away ad turned into worry as the silence went on. She could feel his green eyes on her but she couldn't meet them, just kept nodding as she turned a thought over and over in her mind.

"April?" He took a step in her direction, reaching out with a hand.

She couldn't give him the answer he was after, didn't really know what he expected of her after the disaster their lives had become when they began toying with the idea of being together. This was one knot she didn't know how to untangle but it wasn't the only one that was there. "Would you help me with something?" She asked him, intercepting his advance with her question.

Raphael looked slightly disoriented at different path her conversation took him but recovered quickly. "Anything." He answered determinately, slightly relieved at the change in the conversation. "What do you need?"

"I need to go do something. Come with me?" when he seemed to hesitate she added. "To my Aunt's house. It won't take long, I promise."

Perhaps she couldn't stop the direction her life was headed, she couldn't undo what had happened between her, Raph and Donnie, she couldn't keep from failing a grade, she couldn't turn herself back into a human and there was nothing more she could do to turn her father back that she wasn't doing already but there were still a couple things within her power.

Leonardo would never accept, their existence was supposed to be secret, everyone who was let in on it found themselves immediately in danger and it increased their own risk of being discovered. But Leonardo wasn't here to stop what she was planning to do.

Raphael stared at her for a long time. He probably had an inkling of what she intended on doing, had been there during the long arguments she'd had with Leonardo about this and had stayed mostly out of it though he probably agreed with his brother. "Are you sure?" He asked her finally and at her nod only stood aside to let her get to the window, following her close behind.


From her perch on the rooftop ledge April felt much like she had earlier that night before the mission only this time she was waiting for the right moment to talk to her aunt. She was still up, reading on her bed with the bedside lamp on so April didn't have that excuse to not go confront her. It had all seemed so much simpler in her head, she'd go see her aunt and after the initial shock of "who are you and why do you sound like my niece" she'd explain the situation, there would hopefully be a lot of hugging and she could go back to the lair with one less thing weighing her down.

"Okay." She said more to herself as she stood up than to Raph who nervously waited beside her without saying a word. She could tell he didn't think this was a good idea, he was doing that thing with his face where he'd stick his bottom lip out and up, pushing in his top lip a bit that reminded her a bit of Kermit the Frog but she would never dare say it out loud. At least not to his face.

She crouched on the ledge ready to drop to the fire escape when he placed a hand on her shoulder, surprising her when she realised it wasn't to talk her out of it.

"I'll be nearby if you need me." He told her before ducking back out of sight.

She nodded back at the darkness knowing he'd see it before dropping down to the fire escape, not as silently as she would have liked but still pretty pleased with herself. She pulled out a small knife from the wraps at her wrist and used it to pry open the window she knew had a loose latch. Quietly entering the apartment she hesitated at the door to her aunt's bedroom. Walking in on her might not be the best idea, so she breathed in slowly and walked over to the light switch. It was now or never.

"Aunt Sarah?" She called out at the same time as she turned on the lights in the living room. "Aunty, it's me. I'm home."

There were a few seconds of silence that felt like an eternity before she heard her aunt answer and her rushed footsteps towards the door that separated them both. "April?! April, is that y-"

Her aunt froze at the door once she set her gaze on the mutant turtle standing in the living room, her eyes wide with surprise and her mouth open as she stared.

"Hey." April answered sheepishly, curling and uncurling a three-fingered hand. "I can ex-"

She was cut short when her aunt gave a blood-curdling scream, making April flinch back from the noise. Her eyes hadn't been round with surprise but with terror. "Monster!" She yelled and April pulled her hands from her ears and opened her eyes just in time to see the end table with the phone on it swinging at her.

April twisted to the side and she received a glancing blow on her temple, knocking her off balance and then another on soft bridge between her plastron and carapace when she lifted her arms to shield her head. The blow knocked the wind out of her and onto the floor.

"I can expl-" She wheezed out desperately as she scrambled to get back on her feet and to pull air into her lungs. "It's me!"

"What have you done to them, MONSTER! WHERE ARE THEY?!" Her aunt yelled as she struck April on the ground, the wooden table coming loose as it hit her arm and then shattering against her carapace when she turned her back.

April crawled away on shaking hands and knees, dazed at what was going on and trying to put some distance between them while she got her bearings. She hadn't been seriously hurt when the table shattered but it had jarred her further and her side was still on fire, her eyesight a bit blurry and dizzy from the first hit. When she reached the large display cabinet at the other end of the room and nothing more happened she turned around and found her aunt had gone back in to her room. April took a moment to breathe in, holding onto her side and preparing to call out to her again when her breath hitched as she heard the rushed footsteps back into the living room and a click.

Her aunt had gone to retrieve her uncle Dan's .38 revolver she still kept in her dresser after he'd passed away.

April gaped back at her aunt who'd just cocked the gun and was aiming it at her with surprisingly steady hands. Her ninja training hadn't covered dodging bullets. She thought dazedly as she watched her aunt's furious expression, her own mouth trembling as she realised she was about to be gunned down by her own family.

"N-no! W-wait! Don't!" April screeched and lifted a large three-fingered hand into what would be the trajectory while Aunt Sarah aimed for her chest as if by doing this April could maybe shield herself from the bullet somehow, when a blur of red and green charged April, pulling her out of the way a moment before the revolver went off missing the target completely.

The bottles in the display cabinet near where April's head had been exploded, raining bits of glass and wine over them. "APRIL! RUN!" Raphael ordered as he shoved her in front of him and out of the open window.

April could barely recall the mad dash up the side of the building, still stunned from what had just transpired. She thought a few more rounds had been fired as they escaped, but she couldn't be sure. Maybe it was all just the first one that still echoed in her ears long after they'd left her aunt's house.

They ran over the rooftops for a while even having to turn around and loop back to head back in the direction of the lair and not slowing down until they both had dropped down the manhole and Raph had dragged the cover back into place. They walked down the tracks of the unused subway tunnel near the entrance of the lair in silence and in the dark side by side. She was grateful for it, didn't need a talk about how it had been a bad idea in the first place. Wouldn't be able to take it. She felt as if she was holding herself together with bits of string and sheer willpower, reminding her of the the she'd felt on the night she'd been mutated.

Somehow this seemed more permanent.

Before she realised it they'd walked through the turnstiles, three turtles looking up at them with relieved and smiling faces before their expressions froze as they noticed her condition. April changed her course and headed straight to the showers, intent on avoiding any recount of the situation that was still too fresh in her mind and left Raphael to deal with worried brothers needing answers. Hopefully when she was done they either wouldn't need her explanations or she'd had enough time to pull herself together.

April took way too long in the shower. Her nerves felt raw as the droplets pelted against her. Her skin felt paper thin as the water scorched her, stung the cuts and scrapes on her arms and the side of her head as she rubbed away the grime and dried blood. She stood under the pour of steaming water while she felt herself become unmade as if she'd fallen into the vat of mutagen again, only this time instead of reshaping her body it was ripping apart her last link to her normal life, her family and herself as a human.

No. She thought to herself as she curled her hands into fists that she'd been staring at. I'm still me. I am more than my body and how I look. I am more than what I do or where I am or what people see and how they treat me. I will always be me no matter what shape I am.

She turned off the water after her mental pep talk and dried herself off, repeating some of the words under her breath like a mantra. She didn't bother to put her gear or items of clothing back on and walked out into the living room after a brief glance in the direction of the steamed mirror and a deep breath as she opened the door to find... no one waiting for her.

The room was darkened, only the dim emergency lights were on and it looked like everyone had gone to bed. Maybe Raph had explained it all and told them to back off. Somehow she doubted that,. If Leonardo knew she'd gone against his direct orders and put herself in such a dangerous situation he'd be yelling right about now, or would have yelled when he was told earlier and the walls weren't all that thick. Maybe they were afraid she'd leave again if they pushed her too hard but now it was more obvious than ever that she didn't really have anywhere else to go. She sighed and headed for her bedroom, suddenly very tired.

I didn't really want to talk to anyone anyway. She thought to herself, squashing the hint of disappointment she'd felt at finding herself left alone after she'd decided to stop avoiding everyone. I gave myself a speech and everything. She mused with a hint of humour.

She headed to her bedroom, the promise of rest and sleep making her quicken her pace until she was in the safety of her room where she didn't have to pretend she was fine all the time, only once she was inside she found Raphael was waiting for her, sitting on her bed with his arms crossed in front of him.

She stood in front of him as they stared at each other, neither wanting to be the first to start speaking. Finally, April gave a long sigh and rubbed her eyes pressing the pads of finger and thumb into the tear ducts to ward off the headache that was threatening to run rampant at any moment. Not to rub away any hint of tears, nope.

"I'm really tired, Raph, can we just leave it for now?" April said tiredly as she put down her stuff on a chair that sat in the corner. She could feel his eyes still on her, following her every movement and with her skin still damp from the shower and the lack of anything else on her she felt as if she were parading around naked in front of him.

Well, technically she was naked even though she wasn't showing anything, but without her arms and legs covered or even her belt, as strange as that sounded, she felt completely nude. She wasn't sure how to deal with his attention, she'd craved it before it all went south, but now and specially after Raph had told her that he was finally fixing things with Donnie she felt as if she had to tread carefully to try repair the relationships in this tiny clan of ninjas, or at least not make it any worse.

The noise of a metallic tin lid coming off had her turn towards her bed which Raphael still refused to get off of. "Come over here." He told her. "You're a mess."

She gave him a bored look that said "seriously?" but his expression didn't falter and she knew she wouldn't be able to get rid of him until she let him patch her up. She plodded over and dropped onto the mattress, making him bounce a little and the springs complain but he said nothing as he rummaged around for some antiseptic and pulled her arm into his lap to start working.

They sat in near total silence except for the occasional wince and muttered apology, a bit more frequent when he had to go about pulling out splinters and even a shard of glass or two from the back of her shoulder, in the crease where it fused into the carapace. At some point during the task his fingers had stopped touching her lightly looking for more splinters or bits of glass and now roamed over the damaged areas, the frown on his face deepening as they reached the scrapes that marred what used to be a spotless, smooth carapace where the table had been smashed, exploding into a million pieces.

When he was done rubbing the mark with the palm of his hand as if he could smooth it out that way and make it disappear, his hand and eyes moved over to her temple where the table had glanced off of. He hesitated a second, his hand hovering over her jaw before resting his cold fingers against her skin and gently turning her head to get a better look. It didn't really hurt anymore, had only jarred her for a moment long enough to not be able to react properly or avoid the rest of the attack. She would probably only have a bump and a bit of a bruise tomorrow.

"Did you tell them?" She asked suddenly, surprised she'd said anything even after the words came out of her.

His eyes darted to hers before going back to the side of her head. "Nah. Told them something happened on the way back but that you'd tell em tomorrow or whenever." He dropped his hand from her face to his lap, turning his face and gaze away from her now that he had no excuse to keep going and they both sat there not knowing what else to say.

April watched his hands as they put away the items he'd pulled out of the first aid kit carefully, suddenly missing his touch, wishing she had more injuries to patch up or examine, more scrapes to brush searching fingers over and offer comfort for.

"You got yourself a bump of your own tonight too." She mentioned and lifted a hand to the back of his head, cupping it gently to not prod the soar she knew he had from hitting his head against the window frame.

They both froze as soon as she made contact, green eyes searching blue and it only took a tiny increase of pressure of her fingers on the back of his head for him to lean towards her. His gaze was questioning and his approach hesitant, pausing right before they touched. His warm breath tickled her face as he breathed through his mouth so close to her and then he brushed his snout tentatively against hers. That tiny amount of friction felt a lot better than it should have and April pulled Raphael a little closer, tugging the nape of his neck slightly with the pads of her fingers, tilting her face up to nudge his snout with hers enough so that she could reach his parted lips with her mouth.

Raphael seemed to wake up then, his hands had been resting limply on his lap until that moment but now slid over her, along her smooth carapace to pull her closer, using a rough, cold palm placed on her heated cheek to tilt her head a bit more and seal their mouths together more comfortably. Raph dipped his tongue between their joined lips as one would dip a toe in the water to check if it was okay before diving in and when April met the prodding tongue with hers they both moaned and tossed all hesitation aside.

I'm making out with Raph. April kept repeating in her head which was very different to what had happened the first time in the bathroom when they'd just started touching and... kept touching until they were tasting each other without really thinking about it.

As a human she didn't really have much experience in this aspect to really compare it with, most of it was made up of a single game of "spin the bottle" she'd been convinced to play on an overnight class field trip which she wished she could forget. The one thing she could recall is that as a human, making out with another boy had been a lot more... squishy and grabby, were the words that came to mind. It was nothing like what was happening with Raph, I'm making out with Raph, oh my God.

Raph was rough and hard, mostly made up of sharp edges and... teeth. April groaned as his wide mouth hovered over her shoulder and then opened around it, seared her whole shoulder with the heat of his mouth and made her shake with pleasure as he dragged his teeth over her thick skin. She tilted her head away from Raph, arching her neck back with another low groan and pushing her face against his rough palm. He shushed her and shifted his thumb over her lips and then slid his hand down her front, thumb dragging over her chin and the curve of her throat until it reached her plastron. He used it to scratched along the vertical groove in the centre of her chest making her shiver and squirm as it combined with another bite on her jaw and his fingers curling into the soft sensitive skin below her clavicle, hidden by the lip of her leathery plates.

He pulled away for a moment to shush her again softly, nuzzling into her cheek and then covering her mouth again with his own which she devoured, dizzy with lust and surrounded by his spicy scent like a heavy blanket. She moaned against his lips, muffled by his exploring tongue and was probably still being a bit too loud but as she let herself be swept away her troubling thoughts were replaced with desire for him, something she clung to with all her strength. Something was going right and she wasn't going to let it slip through her fingers this time around.

In a moment of clarity as she was trying to lower her volume, April realised she was literally clinging to him, holding onto the edge of his carapace with both hands in a white-knuckled grip. She used this grip, and her mutant turtle strength, to push Raphael back against the headboard. His hands released her in surprise and fisted into the sheets at the unexpected move but he didn't have time to do anything else other than gasp when April followed him, crawling on her knees onto his lap and took possession of his mouth once again.

April straddled him but after a moment Raph began to make that rumbling noise she'd heard him do before and spread his knees apart, lifting one foot onto the bed, the other resting flat on the floor and tilted back a little. At the movement April listed to the side, catching herself with the toes of her outstretched leg on the ground and avoided slipping further when Raphael looped his arms around her, supporting part of her weight. The shift caused her tail to brush against the inside of Raph's thigh, the treacherous appendage was wiggling and swishing from side to side, and she jumped a little when she felt it. It was ridiculously sensitive which was why most of the time she kept it tucked between her legs covering other even more sensitive parts but sometimes it seemed to have a mind of its own.

This time April actually jumped when she felt Raph slide the hand resting on the lower part of her carapace further down and his fingers curled around her twitching tail. He pulled it away from his thigh, rubbing it gently between them. She gasped and bucked her hips once against him without meaning to, not expecting it to feel the way it did and then held herself still, pressed against him as he did it again, this time a little more slowly, rubbing and pulling it gently from the base, spreading the wetness that was accumulating on the underside making it slick and easier to slide between his fingers.

It felt amazing and only made her more desperate to be touched closer to her centre, just underneath the base of her tail. She panted over Raphael's shoulder close to her hands that still had a firm grip on his carapace above his shoulders and couldn't help but push her hips back and up against his hand, lowering and tipping her shoulders down and against him as she shook with desire.

"A-April..." Raph moaned and then reached further down and stroked her slit with the pad of a thick finger.

"Please... Raph, please." She begged into his neck, biting it softly.

She removed her vice like grip from him and slid her hands down his body, dipping her fingers along the creases and grooves of his sides until they settled on his thighs to explore the warm skin where they disappeared into his shell, making him breath harder.

"Oh God." He breathed, and then said it again while his legs began to tremble beneath her fingertips.

He still didn't give her what she needed even though she was rocking against his hand that was lightly brushing a finger over her slit instead of burying it deep inside her to touch and soothe the maddening burn within her that only seemed to grow in intensity. Her hands shifted so she could brush her thumbs over the inside of his thighs but when his breath hitched and they brushed something else she looked down to find a thick swollen tail curled up, jutting up between his legs. The long slit near the base was spread open a little with something glistening and dark pink peaking out.

That's his... oh. She thought a bit dazedly and couldn't stop herself from reaching down and brushing her fingers over the glistening, smooth bulge.

Raphael yelped at her initial touch but spread his thighs a little more to give her room and lifted his hips a bit with a groan, the muscles in his legs tensing and shaking as April ran her fingers over it again. His own hands had stilled when she started her explorations but she had something else in mind that would satisfy them both. She lowered her hips again and shifted forward spreading her legs over his to sit flush against him.

"April, what..." He began to ask, watching her through half lidded, questioning eyes but curling his pelvis up to meet her halfway, hands on her hips helping her grind against him, their tails rubbing and sliding wetly against one another.

She pressed a little more firmly against him, finding the bump on his tail and using it to nudge her entrance. He grunted and looped an arm behind her carapace, keeping her still as he scrunched up his face in concentration. She felt it then, the pressure between her legs increasing, spreading, stretching. Raphael let out a long, drawn-out moan as his member slid out of his body and pushed into hers relaxing his hold on her once they were joined, leaning back and letting out his breath in short shaky puffs.

"Hah, A-april... ah!" His trembling hands curled around her hips again and he rocked her a bit, trying to encourage her to start moving but with her legs spread open so wide and hardly any leverage she whined in response as her toes slid against the concrete floor and only managing to shift a little on him.

She felt so stretched and full but the uncomfortable pinching subsided after a moment and April was able to bend her legs back to find purchase on his thighs enough to rise and fall with a small, uneven bounce of her hips. This was probably a really bad idea. The thought passed through her head but dissipated quickly as she obtained the friction deep inside her body she was craving and neared the edge she wanted to tumble over so badly.

Raphael came first with a pained grunt and he curled his body around her, gripped her hard enough to leave marks and bucked his hips up erratically as he spilled inside of her. April didn't realise what was happening at first, could only feel the searing heat spreading inside her core and the frustration at not being able to move the way she needed on top of him because of the way he was holding her still until it started spilling out between her legs. It felt so good at first, something inside her was throbbing, pulsing against her inner walls and pouring into her. She came with those sensations, slumping against a recovering Raphael that held her in his quivering arms before scooting down the bed and laying down to rest.

They dozed tangled in a heap together, she hadn't bothered to climb off him and was still draped over Raph in the same position she'd ended up in after their coupling. He lazily drew patterns over the whorls of her carapace, fingers occasionally drifting over bare skin to draw out a shiver or a sigh. Tomorrow she'd probably have to face sour faces, explanations and maybe a lecture or two about what had transpired that night at her aunt's house.

This probably hadn't been a very good idea either, she thought with a growing feeling of dread as her sore tail pressed between her legs a little tighter to avoid dripping over the bedsheets. She squashed her seed of anxiety forcefully, concentrating on the lull of Raph's breathing under her and his steady heartbeat she could feel against her plastron. Considering the situation they were both in the responsible thing to do would have probably been to wait, to take things slow and feel them out, probably put off any relationship until she'd managed to change back into her human self.

I'll worry about everything starting tomorrow. Tomorrow she'd have to start fighting all over again, training her strange body, looking for more mutagen, thinking of a way to reach out again to her aunt, defending her decisions to Leonardo and Master Splinter, try to mend fences with Donnie... but for now she was content with drifting off in the arms of one of the few truly good things that had happened to her since becoming a turtle.