Chapter 8: Dally's Confession
A/N: Okay, okay. Before ANYONE gets on me about how OOC Dally is in this chapter, please read this. This is my take on Dallas Winston. Personally, after reading this book so many times. I believe that Dally's "tough guy" attitude is more a front he puts on so people give him respect. I mean, how was he able to keep Sylvia for that time? He had to be some sort of sweet, right? Or charming. IDK, but to me I always thought he would be a little softer around those he cared about, so in this story that includes Kittalayn. Him caring about her is one of the BIGGEST changes I've made to this story, and is vital to the plot. In any case, please be nice when it comes to reviews. Like i said, this is MY take on Dally, and how I think he would react. Okay, that's it from me.
It's been a week since Ponyboy and Johnny left, and everyone's a wreck. Darry is angrier, beating himself up for what happened to us, and Sodapop won't leave my side. Ever. I breathe and he jumps.
How could all of this happen? How did we end up here?
"Kitty, you awake?" I hear Sodapop say from outside my door. I've been awake for a long while, but I hadn't bothered to get out of bed. I can't do much of anything with my concussion, so I just lay around. I'm going to be so behind in homework.
"I'm awake Soda." I say, sitting up. The headaches have lessened significantly this past week, but I still feel a little bit woozy every time I sit or stand up too abruptly, but I have been functioning more normally.
"Hey, honey, how you feeling?" He asks, entering my room.
"Better, just bored." I say, standing up. I've been living in Sodapop's old pajamas this entire week, since I haven't had the energy to do anything.
"That's good." He says, leaning against the doorway. "I have the day off so if you need anything I'll be out in the living room, okay?"
"Okay Soda." I say, yawning. These days I've been doing a lot of sleeping, I'm probably going to end up going back to sleep.
"Also, you have a follow-up doctor appointment later today." He says, walking over to the bed. Sitting down, he takes my hand in his. "Darry is only working a half day so that he can take you."
"He shouldn't do that." I say, shaking my head. I don't like being fussed over like this.
"Hey, Sodapop, you here?!" I hear Steve call from the living room.
"Yeah, Steve, give me a minute." Sodapop hollers after him. "I'm gonna go, you know where to find me." He gets up and leaves
"I thought he'd never leave."
I jolt at the voice. Dallas is standing outside my window, leaning on the open frame.
I haven't spoken to Dally since the incident in the hospital room a week ago. He's come by a few times to speak to my brothers, but other than that? Nothing. No explanation for it.
"What are you doing here Dally?" I say, turning away from him. I can't look at him. If I look at him I'm going to start crying.
"I needed to talk to you." He says.
"You needed to talk to me?!" I yell, turning around. He's now sitting on the window frame, arms across his chest, looking as rugged and sexy as-
No, I'm not going there. I'm angry at him, and I cannot stay angry at him unless I don't think he's attractive. It's so difficult. I just can't.
"Well, yeah. I said that." He says, chuckling. He swings his legs over the frame so now he is completely in my room. "Are you going to let me?"
I shift on my feet. Am I going to let him?
"You have five minutes before I call Sodapop in here, Dallas." I say, sitting on my bed. He just looks at me for a minute, and then I gesture for him to go on.
He stands up, and makes his way over to me. "I didn't want to hurt you, Kitty." He says, grabbing my hands. I go to pull them away but he holds them firmly. "No, don't pull away from me. Please."
I'm stunned. Who is this person in my room right now? Because the way he's acting right now? This isn't Dallas Winston.
"Dallas what are you doing?" I ask him, looking up into his eyes.
He grips my hands tighter. "Just listen to me, Kitty." He gazes into my eyes. What is this side of Dallas? I've never seen him like this, so nice, so, well, caring. Is this how he was with Sylvia? Why she stayed so long with him?
"I've been messed up this past week." He starts, kneeling down. "I didn't know why at first, but I was just angry, all the time. I thought it was just pent up aggression from bein' in jail, but no matter how many Socs I beat up, beers I drank, or how many times I let Ol' Tim wail on me made me feel any kind better."
"Dally, you're always angry." I say, squeezing his hands tighter. "It's not just this week."
He shakes his head. "It's not like that, Kitty. Being angry at the world for my shit life is something I deal with everyday, but this anger is different."
I feel my gaze fall to the floor. I'm so seriously confused. This is so out of character for Dally. Where is that tough hood I had known all these years?
Dally let's go of my hand, and raises my head to meet his gaze once more. "Kitty, seeing you hurt, that's why I've been so messed up. Don't you get it?" He stands up, pulling me up to join him.
"You've always been angry, Dally." I say, a deep concern in my voice. I feel so weird at this moment. I don't know what's going on with him.
"Kitty, you're not listening to me." He says, grasping my hands tighter. "I care about you, Kittalayn." He let's go of my hands, and walks away from me.
I fall back down on my bed, stunned. This is not how I thought today was going to go. Those aren't the words I thought I was going to hear Dallas Winston say.
"Dallas, I-" I don't even know what to say. How to say. What do I say to that?
"Dammit, Kitty." He says, punching the wall, making the whole room shake, as well as making me jump.
He rushes back to my and grabs my hands once more. "Hey now, it's alright." He says, a slight smile on his face. "The last thing I'll ever do is hurt you."
"Kitty, is everything alright in there?" Soda says from outside the door.
"Yeah, I just slipped, I'm alright." I yell back, trying to get him to leave. Although Dallas is a friend to my brothers, him sneaking into my room like that? Not a good situation for any party.
"Alright then." Sodapop says, and then I hear him stalk off. Good. Don't need him walking in on this conversation.
I pull my legs up and tuck them beneath me, and sigh. This is all so overwhelming.
"Kitty?" Dallas says, running his thumb over my hand. My eyes are trained on our hands intertwined with each-other's. It's all so much. I don't know what to say to him, or what to do. It doesn't help that my brain has been foggy for the past week.
Dally raises his hand, and lifts my chin so our eyes meet. "What are you thinking about?"
"This. Us. Everything." I say. "It's all so overwhelming."
Dallas rests his hand against my cheek, and I lean into it, taking in a deep breath. His touch is comforting, and I'm grateful for it.
What am I saying? Talking about his "comforting touch"? What the hell? What is he doing to me?
"What are you doing Dally?" I say, moving his hand from my face.
"Whattya mean?"
"This isn't you!" I say, standing up abruptly. "For the entire time I've known you, you've been hard, uncaring. You ain't never given a damn about anything!" I walk away from him. "You ain't never gave a damn about me."
"Kitty, that's not it, fuck." He mumbles, and I swear I can hear him running his hands through his hair. I hear him walk toward me, and then place a hand on my shoulder. "I had to learn early on that the more you care about something, the more it can hurt you."
"And?"
"So, I chose not to care. It made things easier, not caring. I didn't have to worry about anything." I slip my hand up to touch his. I can't help it, I want to be connected to him in this moment.
"So what? You're just turning on your feelings now?" I say more harshly then I intend to.
Dallas flips me around, and cups my face. "Kitty, they've always been on."
And then his lips are on mine, and he's kissing me. He's kissing me, and it feels so good. His hands find their way into my hair, his fingers caressing me in a way I've never felt before. How can just a kiss feel this good.
And then he pulls away, both of us gasping for air.
"I need to get going." He says, gently rubbing this thumb on my cheek. "I'm gonna go check on your brother and Johnny."
"Dally…" I start, but I'm unable to actually say anything coherent.
He places a finger on my lips. "Don't say anything, Kittalayn, please." He says, wrapping his arms around me. "Just know that my feelings are on." He pulls me close. "And I have them for you."
