Chapter 8- Day Five: The Pain of Rejection
Genis stood in front of a desk, his hand quivering wildly and sweat rolled down his pale white face.
A plump man started to tap his fingers impatiently on the desk, his bushy moustache twisting around like a fuzzy snake. "Yes son? You've been standing here for ten minutes already. Do you need anything?" His voice oozed with agitation.
The young half-elf quickly snapped away from his own little world and lowered his head embarrassed. "I'm sorry sir," he whimpered. "I... I-I-I... I just wanted to know which room Presea Combatir is in."
The middle-aged man gave Genis and understanding and an apologetic smile and started to flip through a stack of papers on his desk. After a moment, he looked up and announced, "Room A6." Then, he pointed a plump and hairy finger up a flight of stairs. "Take a right at the top."
"Thank you sir!" Genis thanked the man quickly and scurried up the stairs, a small bouquet of lilacs in his moist palms.
The inn owner smiled and shook his head, "Kids..."
After what seemed like an eternity, Genis finally reached the top and approached the door. "Come on... you can do this!" The boy whispered to himself under his breath. He strained his eyes to look at the big bronze letters that read 'A6'. "You can do it..." His heart pounded as fast as a jackrabbit as he slowly lifted his hand up to the door, and without realizing it he knocked.
The door creaked open and out appeared a young girl with two pink pigtails. "Hello Genis." She smiled warmly.
Okay, this is good. She's in a good mood. Genis slowly pulled the flowers from behind his back and showed them to her. "These... th-these are for you P-Presea..." He blushed madly and had to turn away for a moment.
Presea smiled again and took the flowers. "Thank you Genis, that was very thoughtful of you." She skipped happily away and roughly set the flowers onto a nearby table. When she returned to Genis, he began to speak again.
"Um..." he stammered, "Wil..will you go on a..." He paused for a long time, trying to find the right words to use. "D-dat-"
Presea shook her head before he could finish. "I'm sorry Genis, but my heart belongs to Lloyd." She grinned like she never did before.
"Oh... okay..." Genis slowly walked away dragging his feet across the floor.
"Excuse me Genis!" Presea called from behind him, and without another warning she thoughtlessly pushed him aside and scurried along.
The boy sighed crestfallen, obviously knowing where she was going to go. He took a seat on the top stair and watched as he saw his happiness running away from him in the form of a young girl.
"Lloyd... You're so lucky." He sighed.
Lloyd walked out of the door of his house and closed it behind him. His mind raced, partly in confusion, and partly because of a feeling of longing for something. He recalled the events of yesterday. What had happened between Colette and Zelos? He blinked, trying to get some idea of explanation. So... Colette likes Zelos? Zelos likes Colette? They both like each other? They don't like each other...? Sheena called them 'love birds' or something... He shook his head. He knew he shouldn't worry about that. There were only five more days until he had to decide... to probably make the biggest decision of his life. Lloyd frowned, his eyes lowering. Did any of the girls even like him that way? Should I just ask them if they 'like' me...? No... that doesn't seem right... Zelos says to just wait for them to come... which I don't get... Then he says to impress them... and then the Professor says to follow my heart. The swordsman shook his head angrily, grabbing his temples. "This is all so confusing!"
He sighed and just decided to go to Raine's house as he planned before, hopping that she would give some more useful advice. I can trust the Professor, right...?
Lloyd scurried to the west side of Iselia, waving at nearby neighbors. He finally reached his destination and ran past the small lake outside of their house. "Professor! Professor!" Lloyd called out as he banged on the door.
The door swung open and Lloyd met face to face with Raine, her face slightly red with agitation. "Stop shouting Lloyd!" She swiftly slapped him across the face.
"Ow!" He grabbed his face with his palm, in a vain attempt to ease down the pain. "P-Professor… I just wanted to come to you to ask for some advice…"
She sighed. "I'm sorry Lloyd. Come on in." She turned around and motioned for him to come in.
He tentatively walked inside, as if afraid that she would strike him again.
"Sit down Lloyd. Make yourself at home." She smiled, a whole knew mood went upon her.
"Um… okay. But, where's Genis?"
"At the inn, visiting Presea."
"Um… okay." Lloyd sat down slowly and looked straight at her. "Professor, I need your advice about… um… well…"
"I know."
"Well… I know you told me how to find the perfect um…"
"First, let me ask what makes you so uncomfortable talking about it."
Lloyd sighed. "I… don't know. It's just… it just seems like such a big deal and… it's just so overwhelming. I mean… I'm going to be married and… and… why does Kratos- I mean… why does Dad want me to…? I hope he'll tell me in the end. It just doesn't feel right."
As he looked down at his feet, Raine got up from her seat and walked over to him. Lloyd looked up and she placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled, her eyes seemed to brim with light as bright as the stars as she looked into Lloyd's. "You'll understand when the time comes to you. I can tell you no more… Even though you are my student and I am your teacher, I cannot help you. This is something you must choose on your own. But whatever you choose, I hope you will be happy with it."
"Thank you Raine…" He paused. 'Raine'? When did I ever call her that! He looked up at her for a moment. "I mean… Professor." He got up quickly and walked to the door. "Thanks for your help!" he called out as he trotted away.
The young woman walked to the door and waved to him as he disappeared into the distance. Whether he chooses me or not, it's all up to him. I can't alter his choice… She closed the door and squeezed her eyes shut. But… I desperately hope it will be me… Raine lightly closed the door behind her and walked back inside.
"Raine… Raine…" He said out loud to himself, as if saying it out loud would make him understand it more. "Raine… I just might have…" He paused. "'Feelings' for her."
Little did he know, he was being watched. But not by one person, but by two.
From one side, a young woman with black hair looked out towards Lloyd, anger boiling deep inside her, ready to erupt at any moment. She bit her lip and growled softly, balling up her fist. First Presea, now Raine! What about me? Don't I matter at all? She kneeled down behind the thicket of bushes she hid in and silently started to crawl away. I've seen enough!
From the other side of Lloyd, another young girl stood there, her face covered in her hands. I thought he cared about me… She felt tears coming to her eyes and she slowly wiped them away. More came and she wiped them away again, but this time she looked at the small delicate drops of water of her palm. Tears. My first tears since my childhood. An action you take when you are sad… More tears came, stinging her eyes. Pain, sorrow, I feel them here. She placed her hand on her chest. My heart… So… this is the pain of being rejected. Thoughts started to return to her. The events of the morning started to replay in her mind, and out of it all she saw Genis, his face showing deep grief. Genis! Her eyes widened. This is what Genis must have felt… She squeezed her eyes shut. I'm sorry. I want to apologize to you, but… I can't. Presea turned around and ran away.
Lloyd smiled. I'm happy when I think about her. So… does this mean I love her? She said 'You'll understand when the time comes to you'. Is this…? His smile dropped. I'll have to think about this some more.
"I'm sorry about yesterday Colette. I know it must have caused you a lot of trouble." Zelos apologized gloomily. He took a seat next to Colette on the picnic table.
She turned around to face him, then she smiled in return. "It's alright."
"Eh… well…" he paused, still a little uncertain. "I still want to make it up so… Just remember something, you have to be brave and just go for it. Don't be afraid. As my favorite saying goes, 'Whatever will be, will be!'" He grinned from ear to ear.
"How did you know about that?" Colette asked in wonder. She shifted on the bench a little.
"'Cause The Great Zelos knows all!" His humor returned to him by the second.
The girl giggled a little.
"We Chosens have to stick together, ya' know?"
"Former Chosens." She giggled again.
"Yeah, now go for it!"
"Okay!" Colette rose from her seat and bounded away, a new happy aura surrounding her.
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Sheena glared at the girl skipping happily towards Lloyd's house with a letter in her hand. The only light out were the stars and the renewed glimmer shinning in Colette's innocent eyes.
Anger still flared inside of the ninja, fury that had not yet been released.
She watched the girl gently place her letter inside Lloyd's mailbox with menacing eyes. Then, as the girl skipped away, Sheena walked out of the shadows of the night and opened the mailbox. It was a light pink letter with a red heart seal. It was outlined with a laced border and has a few sparkles on it. She roughly pulled the flap open and unfolded the letter.
Dear Lloyd,
Although I am not much of a writer, I am writing this letter from the bottom of my heart. My feelings for you cannot all be written down on a small piece of paper, and yet I will try my very best.
Do you remember when we first met? I felt a wonderful feeling inside of me, like I could soar through the sky and clouds without wings. I knew you were special from the start just from the way you looked at me. I loved the way your eyes sparkled with joy.
I always had some small regrets when I thought of dying for the Regeneration. I've never told you this before, but I was so overjoyed when I found out that I would go on the journey with you… and even more overjoyed when I found out that I would be able to say goodbye to you at that moment in the Tower of Salvation. Nothing else mattered. I would have died happy.
And yet, there's more to you. Because of you I was given the strength to live on. Because of you, I'm still here. Because of you… because of you…
And if I'm going to be here in this world, I want to be here with you and only you.
Lloyd, I love you.
Sincerely,
Colette
The summoner's eyes narrowed. Fluffiness? Tsk…I won't win him over with that junk! Her eyes glowed with a fire of hate. She crushed the letter in her hands.
Suddenly, Sheena's snapped open wider than it ever did before. All anger had left it and instead it was replaced with sorrow and regret.
"Nooo! What have done…?" She dropped to her knees and delicately looked at the crumpled ball of paper in her hands. "I… I destroyed the letter!" She almost screamed in anguish. "No… I…" She dropped the letter and fell even further onto her hands. "I'm sorry… I… I didn't mean to take it out on you Colette. It's not your fault…!"
Then the reason why she was so infuriated returned. Lloyd doesn't care about me…! The thought screamed louder in her mind than no other.
She rose to her feet and a new fire was ignited inside of her. She picked up the letter.
And that night, if you could hear past the serene sound of the chirping crickets, you could hear the sound of paper tearing to shreds.
