Chap 8

My mother died when I was four. And ever since losing her, father too became more distant and aloof towards me. I was never an outgoing and lively child in the first place and the incident made me even more introverted.

A year later, father got married again. My new mother was impatient and egotistical, the very epitome of evil stepmothers in my childish opinion. She chided me again and again for being a crybaby.

'Why pull such a long face!?' she would always say. Then she would turn to father and say, 'Look at your son. I knew it! He's dissatisfied of me! And here I am trying my hardest to be a good mother.'

And father would look at me with weary eyes and say, 'Son, please try to be more friendly with your mother.'

I stared at the mirror long and hard that night. I tried pulling all sorts of smiles but they all looked false in my eyes. Still, I settled for one version that I would use the next day.

I greeted my stepmother cheerfully the next morning, putting on my widest smile. I must've looked horribly weird because she nearly jumped at the sight of my face. But for the first time ever, she gave no snide comments.

Smiling soon became part of my everyday life. I worked on cracking jokes on top of it and everyone seemed to love this new me much better. My housekeeper who had always been nice even commented, 'Young master Jack, you look so much better smiling.'

'Even if it's not real?' I asked her.

She smiled back at me and said, 'If you keep smiling, I'm sure it will turn real someday.'

I gave her my widest grin.

When I was chosen to take part in Operation Finis, I was not the least bit sad that I had to leave my home behind. I carried on my cheerful façade in the Peristylium with all the other children and they simply accepted that as who Jack was.

At least in the beginning…

Seven came up to me one day and said, 'Why are you always so cheerful?'

'Because I'm always happy,' I replied.

She stared at me, long and hard, before quietly saying, 'that's not true isn't it? You always try to make people smile and laugh, but you're not happy yourself. And that's because you're always trying to hide everything behind that smile of yours.'

I was stunned. I had never thought of it that way before myself.

'We're comrades aren't we?' she continued, 'All of us. You can be yourself around us. It's all right to cry like Cinque or get angry like Nine. Youll feel better that way.'

I pondered over her words for a long time. And slowly, I began understanding them. Being with the other eleven kids for so long allowed me to get used to their company. And over time, there was little that I could or would hide from them.

After all, everyone accepted one another just the way we are. Ace's stubbornness, Sice's rudeness, Cinque's weirdness, Trey's talkativeness, Queen's perfectionism, Nine's brazenness…

As for Seven, I came to realise her exceptional skills when it comes to reading other people. She was always the first to notice if someone is down or sad or angry or even when they're lying; except maybe Cinque and her incredible sixth sense on certain occasions.

Looking back, even if it had started out as a lie, my smile has brought me this much closer to true happiness. I won't hide my true self anymore, but neither will I stop smiling. If I continue making others happy, I guess I can be happy as well.

Maybe my housekeeper was right after all. Maybe even a false smile can turn real someday.