AN: Hey guys - shorter chapter on account of me finally having ... a job! Still teaching, and only for marginally better pay. And I need to get myself on track with the story. I'm sorry for my absence, and I'm glad you guys are sticking with me. I really do appreciate all you guys :)
Jade watched as Tori, albeit blurred around the edges, settled firmly against the door. She wished dearly that the alcohol would drag her down into sweet oblivion, but she knew her liver was a hardened champion by this point – and she was out of minis. She had been wise enough, too, to make sure the whole room was (painfully) illuminated. Jade was, in a word, trapped.
"You're a bitch." Tori stated plainly, a dull edge in her voice. She was still timid, possibly worried that Jade was still in control of her faculties well enough to jump up and throttle her. A tense three seconds passed before she continued, apparently emboldened by the lack of action on the half-demon's part. "And you've always kind of been a bitch in a 'I'm a pretty, bad-ass, troubled superhero' kind of way. But now you're downright vicious… and I don't really know what you've been up to the past few years, but I know I've done absolutely nothing to deserve how you've treated me this past week." The color was rising in Tori's cheeks – apparently this outburst had been building for some time.
"And I've been ignoring it for the most part, hoping that maybe you'd soften up around the edges after you saw that I'm not going to turn you over or try and drag you back. But you may be the only person in the whole world who can somehow conclude from that that I'm some kind of spy for the Brotherhood. What the hell, Jade. Seriously? I just wanted you to know that after we sort out this mystery I hope I never see you again, not if you're going to be like this from now on. I don't want you back on our team, I don't even want to share a timezone with you." She seemed proud of herself, and as far back as Jade could remember this was possibly her most explosive outburst. The older girl felt a twinge of pride to have dealt a thick crack her normally smooth façade.
"Fine with me." Jade shrugged casually.
"Jade!" Tori exploded, slamming a delicate fist down onto the granite counter. "Would you just spill? What the hell did I do to deserve you treating me like this?" Jade rolled her eyes before closing them and leaned her head back against the wall, smugly defying her request. "Don't make me probe you. I can't read your thoughts but I've gotten pretty damn good at reading emotions." The Latina threatened quietly.
Jade's eyes snapped open, the blurred edges regaining their shape as her anger evaporated the delightful buzz. "Try and I'll kill you." She warned. The pair narrowed their gazes at one another and the seconds ticked by tensely. Jade had all but considered herself victorious when she felt the first telepathic blow. She tensed in surprise – Tori was much stronger than she remembered; it never occurred to her that, after decades of training, Tori might be substantially more powerful. Meanwhile, Jade's abilities had stagnated over time without the vigorous training she was once committed to.
Jade scrambled to reinforce her mental blocks as Tori systematically battered them. She wasn't a slingshot as she had been before – she was practically a wrecking ball, and Jade was surprised she had held back this long, surprised and frustrated that she hadn't sensed the stronger empath standing where little weak Tori had once stood.
Jade recognized trouble when it knocked on her door… or, in this case, came crashing through it. If she didn't do something now Tori would gain access to memories and feelings that she had managed to lock away from even herself; it'd be like striking a match in a blind cave – there'd be no telling what the light would reveal, or what it might disturb. Diet and meditation had barely contained the demon rattling against its chains, the one that still spoke to her on a daily basis, the one that had nearly consumed her after Beck had died. Its scream had faded to barely a whisper, but Jade knew if someone rattled the cage it'd only work it back into a frenzy.
"Stop it!" She snarled, hurling the trashcan in Tori's direction. It bounced loudly off the wall and rolled harmlessly under the counter, easily missing its target by a wide margin.
"No!" The Latina demanded, taking an angry step forward and redoubling her efforts. "God, you're such a stubborn ass!"
Jade groaned in frustration and pushed herself up the wall, hands grappling for purchase against the smooth tile. Her head was beginning to throb and ache – Tori had found the demon's cage, and it was well aware of her presence, of who she was.
It was not pleased.
And based on Tori's expression, the feeling was mutual.
"Get out!" Jade yelled. She felt Tori's mind probing around hers, over feelings that were painful, personal, and secret. "Fine! Fine!" The barreling intrusion paused. "We can talk! Just get the fuck out of my head!" The tendrils began to retreat.
"Are you serious?" She asked skeptically.
"Yes. Christ. Just stop." When at last the presence was finally gone, Jade felt as if she could collapse.
Instead, she did the next best thing – she dropped to her knees and puked up the contents of her evening. After a few seconds of heaving and coughing she resurfaced, regrettably resting her cheek on the porcelain seat. She felt the younger girl move behind her, felt her crouch down and rub her back. "Stop it." Jade croaked, wiping away the vomit that had escaped through her nose.
"No." Tori replied softly, a hint of agitation still present in her voice. "Stubborn ass."
====…====
Jade leaned against the headboard, a pillow hugged against her chest, as she attempted to maintain a steady gaze at Tori, seated in a chair near the window. She was fidgeting anxiously with her cuticles as she girded herself for the conversation to come. Meanwhile, Jade struggled to control the storm brewing in the back of her mind; it was only contributing to her pounding headache, and knew her condition would worsen if she couldn't nip it now.
"I'm offended you think I'm a spy." The girl stated quietly. Jade refocused her attention on the younger hybrid before her, and watched as she seemed to deflate slightly. She had always known Tori to be an easy-going kid, one who rarely took offense, rarely lashed out. Yet here, in this room, after she'd practically ripped Jade a new one, she was wilting over an observation Jade thought had been fairly obvious. She could see that, in addition to being offended, Tori was also riddled with doubt; perhaps she had found that feeling rooted so deeply in Jade's psyche that she couldn't help now but question the validity. "You guys were my first and only team. My family… do you really think I could betray you?"
"If a big bad and threatened your family you would protect them, wouldn't you?"
"Of course." Tori frowned, as if any other response would be unfeasible.
"What if the big bad was me? Or Beck?"
She opened her mouth but spilled no sound; she remained, mouth agape, for a few seconds as she willed the answer to come to her. "But you would never…"
One corner of Jade's mouth tilted upwards, a sad smirk claiming her features. "We've got evil in our DNA, thanks to the Brotherhood. You've heard stories of the Dark claiming some of their hosts, right?"
"Yeah, but – "
"I knew some of those people. Some of them, angel, were my mentors long before you were even a twinkle in your father's eye. They didn't seem like a threat either. Their spirit weakened after centuries in the line of duty, weakened enough that whatever was in them could take over. It's a longer process than it seems – losing yourself – longer than the Brotherhood are willing to admit, I think. But I believe most of it is undetectable, it takes place in here," she paused to tap her index finger against her temple, "And the changes don't become noticeable until the war is almost lost… or won, depending on whose perspective you're judging from."
"So the empaths …"
"An early warning system, as far as I can figure. Catch them when their moods begin to shift, remove them from the equation before things get ugly. It's happened before."
Tori leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest, still unsure. "How can you know that?"
"I'm sure you've realized by now that empaths are in short supply. Light and Dark species combined, there's very few of us. While the Brotherhood would prefer to use creatures like you, it's not always possible. Sometimes they're willing to enlist anyone who can sense emotions."
A spark ignited in her dark eyes and spread across her features; she gripped the arms of her chair and leaned forward, practically out of her seat, as she waited for Jade to continue. "You?" She prompted. Jade could feel her inner conflict; she'd been that naïve once.
The pale girl turned her attention to the window. "They were subtle about it. 'Keep an eye on James, Jade. He's been acting strange. Let us know if you sense something in that way only you can, and we'll get him the help he might need.' I was young and eager to prove myself. I became James' second shadow, and could tell before anyone else what was happening to him. He was over 200 years old, he was worn down. He wanted to retire, but the Brotherhood told him he was too powerful, too valuable to lose. They pushed him to his breaking point… maybe if he could have walked away he would have been fine.
I didn't know any better. I told the Council what I had felt in him and they took him away. They said he would return when he was rested."
"Did you ever see him again?" Tori asked quietly. Jade's gaze on the window chilled. "Is that the only time it's happened?"
"There have been a few other occasions. I think I'd turned in two by the time you joined the team. I knew what was happening, then, and they must have realized I'd figured it out because I hadn't made a peep about Beck. When you joined I thought it strange – they rarely had more than one empath on a team – but then I knew you could only be there for one reason.
"Because I was young and wouldn't know any better…" Tori finished, leaning back into the faux-leather chair. She looked as if she'd just been punched in the gut. "What do you think the Brotherhood did with the ones they took away?"
"I never asked. I didn't want to know." Jade answered, ashamed to have finally admitted it aloud. "When I scried for them I couldn't find them… that doesn't really give me warm fuzzies about them retiring in Hawaii."
"No one can find you either, Jade." The younger girl remarked.
Jade met her with a steady, solid stare. "The Brotherhood doesn't know how I disappeared, and, even if they did, I doubt they passed along that little trick to James and the rest of them."
The room fell quiet; Jade felt like she'd given Tori the explanation she wanted and didn't see any more reason to speak. Tori appeared to be suffering something of an identity crisis, as if her whole world had been turned upside down. The older hybrid sighed. "It's not like the entire system is flawed, Vega. We still do good. Some of us just turn bad, and the Brotherhood isn't as sparkly clean as they like to seem." She shifted her weight to the left and allowed herself to tumble onto her side, head pounding. "Find me some asprin." She demanded weakly.
Tori stared through her for a moment before the request registered. "So that's why you never liked me." She muttered, bending over to retrieve the bottle from her bag. Out of habit, Jade tilted her head to gain a better view of her denim-clad ass.
"Among other reasons." She smirked as Tori turned and blushed, unconsciously covering her rearend with her hand. She threw the bottle at the older girl's head in retaliation. Jade deflected it easily and struggled with the child-proof cap; at over a century old these damnable things still tormented her.
"You decided you hated me by the end of my first day! What could I have possibly done by then?"
Jade rolled her eyes but remained silent. The truth was that she had been jealous and scared of Tori – Tori, the new shiny empathy, the good empath who would never have to watch her back or worry about being "forcibly retired." Tori was her replacement, and represented the beginning of her end. She watched as her friends accepted her with open arms, even Beck, with whom she had shared her theories and concerns. One look at Tori had shattered her credibility, in his opinion. How could that sweet kid be the cause of their removal? Surely she wouldn't turn on them, not if Jade convinced her not to.
So Jade had listened to Beck and remained, despite every fiber of her being screaming for her to disappear. She felt herself aging before her time, her cynicism and negativity intensifying from that damnable demon wailing in her psyche. Beck's sudden demise sent her spiraling in more ways than one, and she knew she couldn't delay any longer; she was losing the will to fight the good fight – for mankind or her own soul – and, rather than face the Brotherhood's weak attempts of a cure, she decided to be responsible for her own skin. If she failed, if the chaos demon consumed her mind and body, she was sure she'd be apprehended before she caused too much damage. It was a risk she was willing to take to survive, to be free.
The bed rocked as Tori bounced down on the edge, making Jade's vision swim and stomach churn. "Why didn't you tell me any of this when we were teammates?" She began unlacing Jade's boots and tugged them off before placing them in the corner.
"I didn't trust you." She replied plainly, relishing the feel of her toes wiggling freely in the cool air.
"Do you trust me now?" Tori extended her hands and motioned for Jade to take them. The pale girl hesitated, stared at the small, innocent hands that violated her personal space. Jade was acutely aware of the darker facets of the human condition. Hell, she often took pleasure in antagonizing those facets. She knew how humans, herself included, could easily lie and cheat and harm to promote themselves, how they could easily overlook the collateral damage. Tori, though fused with some overly-good spirit, was still just as human as the rest of them, and could just as easily possess the same characteristics that everyone had come to expect from people like Jade. Hers could even be the best disguise.
So said the Darkness whose shadows were slowly consuming her. But a part of Jade remained firmly in the light, and realized that the Latina had passed up over a dozen attempts to betray her already. She had saved her life three times in the past few days, and had tended to her in practically every way. Pale eyes searched dark curiously and found nothing but hope, a desire to love and be loved. It pulsated from her core like a warm heartbeat.
Jade took Tori's hands and smiled, faltering for a fraction of a second as an inhuman wail crashed through her mind. "I trust you with my life." She admitted honestly, if not still a little bitter.
Tori's eyes lit up as she pulled Jade upright. "Really?" She chimed hopefully, passing the intoxicated girl a fresh set of pajamas.
"Don't get too excited. All that means is I expect you to throw yourself between me and a charging demon. I didn't say anything about trusting you with my secrets."
The dazzling smile had faded by the time Jade freed herself from the confines of her shirt. She patted the younger girl on her cheek before tugging the tanktop over her head and falling back to remove her pants. When she finished changing she embraced the sensation of the cool, crisp sheets against her warm body, imagining it had some healing property that battled the damaging effects of alcohol. Through closed eyes she watched the lights click out, and felt Tori once again crawl into bed. Jade remained where she was, forcing Tori to contort her lithe body around the unyielding ivory form.
"Well, I trust you with my secrets. You're like Fort Knox." She yawned, petting Jade's arm. It was an unfamiliar, though not entirely unpleasant, sensation. "Can I tell you something?"
"Knock yourself out, Vega."
"No one missed you as much as I did when you disappeared." Jade snorted. "I'm serious!" She quit stroking Jade's arm and took it in a solid grip. "I know these things. I'm an empath. I always sensed something in you that drew me to you. I don't know if it's because we share a similar ability of what... But I felt linked to you. And that night Beck died I think we became tied somehow. But when you left, I feel like I'd been ripped in two. I felt like I'd lost my right arm."
Jade was suddenly very uncomfortable; she didn't have bonds. It wasn't her thing, not anymore. Relationships only brought her trouble, she knew that by now.
"The years numbed that feeling, but the moment I found you in that alley I felt ... I don't know. Like I'd rediscovered a limb I'd completely forgotten I'd once had." The pair laid in silence as they both processed their shared information. It was a lot to take in in one night.
Jade felt the battered walls around her mind tingling, alerting her to the Tori's psychic presence. She opened her mouth to complain and found herself too exhausted, too spent from the evening. Instead, she sighed. "Are you doing that on purpose?"
A confused grunt sounded next to her in the darkness. "I don't notice it sometimes." She offered apologetically, and seconds later the presence retreated. "I'm not trying to get into your business… it's just my default." Jade rolled over onto her side and absently rubbed her temple, willing the lingering ghosts to fade away again. "I was never trying to get into your business."
Jade recognized the statement as further apology for Tori thrusting herself into Jade's life and taking root, for being a frustrating reminder of the world that she had turned her back on. She wasn't sure if she was ready to accept the younger girl's apology, especially with her initial threat to reveal her to the Brotherhood; if there was even an inkling of truth behind it Jade couldn't allow herself to let her guard down around Tori. She couldn't allow a repeat of this little "bonding ritual." She couldn't allow herself to let Tori bury her roots deeper or discover her biggest secrets.
And still, she longed for companionship. The decades had been lonely. She'd had lovers – many lovers – those unknown souls who made the empty nights pass more quickly. But she always disappeared before morning, skipping pillow-talk and breakfast. It was easier when they were drunk and inevitably passed out, when she could sink into the shadows of their soiled sheets and reappear in her own home, satisfied and safe-feeling in her own bed. Her sanctuary. She had very few friends to speak of, and none of them had ever learned her true name. Her full name. Her past.
Despite her uneasiness around Tori, despite her distrust… It was nice having someone to share a conversation with, even if it was a guarded one. She felt the younger Latina twitch behind her, well on her way to drifting off. It was nice sharing a bed with someone without having to fulfill the expectation for sex.
Having Tori around, though she hated to admit it… feared admitting it, was nice.
She knew the risks in allowing herself to believe such a pleasant falsity, but Jade went to bed letting herself embrace the warmth emanating from behind her, and let herself enjoy the fact that, when she woke, her companion would still be there tomorrow and she wouldn't be alone.
