Readers, reviewers: you're amazing and I love you. Thanks for making this so much fun. More tomorrow.
On Friday, Sesshoumaru called to tell her he'd run into more problems in the office, and he'd just see her the following day; she sighed, but was getting used to it. And in any case, the time they did spend together was so good – she couldn't really complain.
She and Shippou arrived at the Taisho mansion around midday Saturday with a basket full of bentos specially packed by Kagome's mother. Rin exclaimed over the little hot-dog octopuses, and even Sesshoumaru closed his eyes in contentment at the first bite of her mother's homemade dango.
The afternoon wore on, and sunset found the adults sitting on the edge of the back porch, looking out over the gardens. The evening was still, and the only sounds were soothing ones: the gentle murmur of a small waterfall, the buzz of a few prowling insects, the breathless laughter of the children.
Sesshoumaru's mind, however, was not on the peaceful stillness of the garden. His eyes were narrowed; the political situation was wearing on his nerves, even as it was creating chaos in his businesses. The anti-youkai factions were growing bolder and more powerful every day; they had begun raiding private homes, kidnapping full youkai families when they could, but more often stealing away the children of mixed families. Like theirs. Both of theirs.
He scowled out at the children who were so blissfully unconcerned by the dangers of the world. They were engaged in some kind of game of tag; Shippou was clearly playing gently with Rin, moving slowly to make the game more fair. The bracelet around his wrist caught the fading sunlight and glinted brightly before fading into shadow again.
"Kagome," he said suddenly, his scowl deepening. Her eyes turned to him, luminous as gems in the reddening light. "Does Shippou wear his concealment at home?"
She frowned, surprised by the non-sequitur. "Not usually, no. Why?"
He glared ferociously at the nearest tree. "It's dangerous. Anyone could see him." His voice was low; almost a growl. Kagome found herself getting defensive.
"He's a kitsune; his illusions are strong enough that if we have unexpected company he can hold a human form until he gets his bracelet on. He's generally got it in his pocket if he's not wearing it, anyway. It's not a big deal." His eyes were flashing when he looked at her.
"It is a 'big deal.' What if someone were to see him through a window? What if someone were to catch him in the background of a photo?" His voice was harsh enough to make her flinch, but he didn't back down. Her eyes hardened.
"I will not raise my son to be ashamed of what he is," she hissed, indignant. "He is youkai. There is nothing wrong with that. I don't want him to have to pretend so hard to be human that he forgets his true nature!"
Sesshoumaru rounded on her, growling. "And yet you would endanger the very thing most dear to him – his pack! If he is discovered, it could be the end of him – the end of your family. Do you not consider the danger?"
"Of course I've considered it!" she exploded, tears of helpless anger rising in her eyes. "It keeps me awake at night, wondering if we'll be found out, wondering if he'll be taken away from me. It terrifies me, Sesshoumaru. That my son could be ripped away from me because the bloody anti-youkai coalitions think mixed families are immoral." She turned away from him, unable to look at his face. "But I don't want to allow fear to rule my life, or his. Would you really have him live his whole life not even knowing what his face actually looks like?"
He was all but snarling at her now. "I have gone for nearly a hundred years without seeing my own face – because it was necessary. You think I enjoy hiding my true nature from the world – from my own daughter? Wearing a bloody bracelet that makes me look human, that makes me look like I'm aging? Relying on magic and trickery to convince humans that I'm my own son when I've lived past the point when a human would have died, returning to college like a child for qualifications I've earned a hundred times over?"
"But it's wrong," she cried, tears streaming down her face now. "It's wrong, it shouldn't have to be that way!"
"It is how things are," he grit out, each word deliberate. "And if you don't stop being so willfuly blind, you're going to end up finding out exactly how wrong it is when you lose your son."
Without another word, she stood and fled into the house, the scent of her tears drifting after her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, silently cursing himself. He'd wanted her to understand the severity of the situation, the potential repercussions – but that wasn't what he'd intended.
Deciding to give her space before he apologized for upsetting her, he watched the children run unconcerned through the garden. He hated it – he hated living in fear of these nameless bullies who ripped families apart in the name of morality, whose fearmongering had the human population convinced that youkai were a sinister force undermining the very fabric of society. He hated the idea that Rin could be taken away from him should anyone ever discover that he was youkai. He hated knowing that many other families had already been ripped apart, human children sent to orphanages and youkai pups shipped off to god-knows-where, where they'd never be seen again. He hated that youkai had to cloak themselves, had to blend in, had to hide, had to cower. He hated it. But fighting it wasn't worth the risk of losing Rin.
Kagome's phone rang from inside the house; he found himself listening to her one-sided conversation. His heart clenched in his chest at the thickness of her voice, the slightly hiccupping breaths; he'd upset her, badly.
"Hello, sir; yes, thank you, my son's doing well. Yes, sir, I finished that before I left yesterday; it's on my desk, in the blue folder." There was a pause; she took a shaky breath. "Oh! Yes, sir, that's very exciting. He wants it collected this evening?" Another pause. "Sure, that's no problem. That's on the bus line, right?" A polite laugh. "No, sir, I still don't have a car. It's not such a big deal in a city like this one!" He heard the scratching of a pen. "Yes, sir, got it. Eight PM. I'll be there!" Another pause. "No problem; I'm happy to do it." Pause. "You too, sir. See you Monday."
She emerged from the house and strode to the edge of the porch without looking at him. "Shippou!" she called. "We need to go, sweetheart."
With a pout, the kit materialized at her feet. "I don't wanna leave," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Shippou, don't do this. I have to collect a donation for the museum; we need to get to the shrine so grandmama can look after you while I'm gone." Her tone was tired, entirely devoid of the cheery sweetness he'd grown accustomed to – it made his chest ache to know that he was responsible for its lack.
"He can stay," Sesshoumaru offered quietly.
"We can have a sleepover!" Rin cried, finally catching up; she was out of breath, but the prospect of a sleepover seemed to give her new energy.
Kagome closed her eyes, looking defeated. "Fine," she said quietly, and the children cheered. She opened her eyes again, and knelt to look Shippou in the eye. "You be good for Sesshoumaru-san, OK? No tricks; you do what he tells you."
"Yes, mama," he said earnestly, seeming concerned by her sudden seriousness.
She rose and turned to go back in the house, then paused as she passed Sesshoumaru, eyes still on the door. "Thank you," she said, her voice carefully neutral.
"Will you come back tonight?" he asked quietly. Shippou would be asleep by the time she returned in any case; would she just pick him up in the morning? Or would she come back to spend the night by his side?
"I..." She shook her head, gulping slightly. "I don't know."
He nodded, eyes still on the garden. "At least let me give you a ride to the train station. It's a long walk. If you don't want me to drive you, you can take the limo."
She shook her head. "I think I could use the walk. To ... clear my head." He sighed, and she shot a small glance over at him. "But thanks."
A hug and a kiss for each of the children, and she was gone.
Not half an hour later, a jangling sound interrupted the dinner he was sharing with the children; he frowned. It was Kagome's phone. The housekeeper brought it to him, and left it at his elbow with a brief bow in case he wanted to answer it. He glowered at the little device as though it were responsible for its owner's forgetfulness. The name flashing across the screen was "Mom"; he decided not to worry Higurashi-san by answering, which would let her know that her daughter was without a phone. The thought that Kagome was on her own in the city, without any way to contact him should she need him, made his beast rear up in fury and concern – but then again, he reminded himself, she was an adult who could look after herself. And she was unlikely to call him right now in any case. Fighting down a lingering sense of unease, he resumed his dinner.
...
The children were settled happily in front of a movie when his own phone rang. Inuyasha. Knowing it would take all his control to keep from shouting at his brother – and/or destroying his phone – he left the housekeeper to watch over the children and removed himself to his office to take the call.
"What." He couldn't get out any more of a greeting than that.
"Listen, asshole, I don't want to hear it. I've spent two weeks trying to figure out what to say to you; just hear me out, and I'll leave you alone." He ground his teeth at the whelp's insolence; he knew he should be used to it by now, but on top of what he'd done to Kagome ... it was unbearable. He grunted.
Inuyasha took that as permission. "I'm sure she's told you about what happened. If you want to rip my face off for it, fine; there is nothing you could do to me that I wouldn't deserve. But I want you to know one thing." He paused, as if to make sure his brother was still there. Sesshoumaru drew a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. The scars on Kagome's side flashed through his mind, and he found that he was gripping the arm of his chair hard enough to splinter the wood.
"Say what you're going to say, whelp." His voice was hoarse and gravelly.
"Sesshoumaru," his brother started, and his voice was strangely low – not his usual aggressive, posturing bluster, but earnest, serious. "You could live the next thousand years as a saint, and you would never deserve Kagome. She has the purest heart of anyone I've ever known – the most open, the most loving. And because I'm a fucking failure, I almost destroyed it. So I'm going to keep as far out of her life as I can; the last thing I want is to hurt her more. But you—" He took a ragged breath. "If you are using her, Sesshoumaru, so help me god I will kill you or die trying."
He blinked as his brother's words sank in. For a moment, there was silence, save Inuyasha's heavy breathing on the other end of the line. All he could think about was her tears as she'd left. He'd sworn he would never hurt her, and she'd fled from him, weeping.
He closed his eyes, trying to regain his composure. His brother had humbled himself completely; even after everything he'd done, he deserved an answer. "Inuyasha," he said, finally. "You have my word."
His brother let out a shaky breath. "You're not just using her as an easy fuck?"
"Watch your mouth, whelp," he growled, his beast rising at the insult. "She is more to me than you will ever know."
"Good." The word was said with a deliberate finality, and a tinge of relief. "Keep her safe."
"Mind your own business, half-breed; I protect what is mine." Sesshoumaru's words no longer held any true anger. The conversation had drained him; he felt guilty for angering her, anxious for her return. He wanted her in his arms; he wanted to breathe her scent and listen to her heartbeat, sure that she was safe and happy. He sighed as he ended the call.
The children finished their movie, and Sesshoumaru and the housekeeper shepherded them through washing up and getting ready for bed. Although there were plenty of guest rooms, the children had begged and pleaded until Shippou was allowed to sleep in Rin's room on a mattress laid out on the floor. Sesshoumaru tucked Rin in with a kiss, and started to slip out of the room.
"Sesshoumaru-san?" came the quiet voice of the kitsune.
"Hn," he answered, indicating he was listening.
"I'm sorry about your fight with my mama. If it'll make things better, I'll wear my concealment all the time." Sesshoumaru blinked hard; a foreign tightness was building in his chest. He should have known that the boy was listening; distracted or not, he still had demon hearing. He knelt by the boy's side and lay a reassuring hand on his head.
"Sleep, kit. It was not your doing." It was all he could say. He wanted to reassure the boy that he and Kagome would work everything out, that everything would be OK – but he couldn't make any more promises he wasn't sure he could keep.
"Good night, Sesshoumaru-san. I'm glad you're here to look after mama." The kit nuzzled his hand affectionately; a gesture of pack. He returned the gesture by rubbing gently behind the boy's ear. Shippou sighed contentedly and shut his eyes; Sesshoumaru made his escape.
Unable to focus on his work, he left his study and began prowling aimlessly through the house. He found himself standing in the darkness on the back porch, where they'd sat together a few hours before. The moon had risen behind the clouds; a chill wind was whipping through the garden, the scents of the city whirling past him in a dizzying dance. His heart was pounding in his chest; he could feel every pulse as it shot blood through his limbs just a little harder than necessary.
The jangling of his phone shattered the silence and sent adrenaline charging through his veins. He drew the infernal thing out of his pocket and snarled at it – it was a number he didn't recognize.
"Taisho," he snapped.
"Sessh—Sesshoumaru?" Her voice was hesitant; she was frightened. The adrenaline rush redoubled.
"Kagome. Where are you?"
"I'm at a pay phone; it's so dark, and I think I'm being followed—"
"Where. Are. You." He was struggling to keep himself under control; his beast was howling in fury, demanding they find her at once, railing at him for having let her out of his sight to begin with.
"I'm in San'ya, on the corner of ..." She paused. "I can't read the signs, it's too dark."
He was already running, knowing that his demon speed would get him there faster than any car. Any humans he passed would just think he was a particularly strong gust of wind. He leaped up onto a rooftop; fewer obstacles to slow him down. Cupping his hand over the end of the phone to shield it from the wind of his passage, he asked, "Are there any shops you can go into; restaurants, cafes?"
"No," she whimpered; there was panic edging her voice again. "Everything's dark – there's nothing around."
"Keep talking to me," he ordered.
"I forgot my phone, but I still had your card in my wallet, thank god. The address—the address was fake, there was nothing there," she gasped; he could hear tears in her voice. "It must have been some kind of practical joke." She gasped suddenly, and her voice sank to a frantic whisper. "There are people coming towards me." He could hear her heartbeat through the phone, thundering in terror. "Sesshoumaru—"
"Kagome," he said, willing his voice to stay calm. "I'm going to be there soon. Just hold on."
The next thing he heard was a man's silky voice addressing Kagome. "Hey, there, demon-lover." Her voice, crying, "Get away from me!" – then the line went dead.
The city was flying under his feet; he'd be in San'ya in moments. He began frantically scenting the air, willing the hunter in him to come out after so many years of repression. He'd almost forgotten how to use his nose in a delicate, difficult hunt; for decades, it had served him as little more than a lie detector. Now, he sifted through the scents of the city – the smoke, the chemicals, the sewers, the endless, endless numbers of humans.
Kagome. There.
He dropped silently into the black end of an alley; the air was thick with the scent of her terror, and three men's cruel excitement. And arousal. Tearing off his concealment, he allowed his fangs and claws to lengthen, felt his beast take over his body – and gladly surrendered the reins.
She was being dragged into the alley; two men were holding her, one taunting her, touching her; he grabbed at her shirt, smirking wickedly as she screamed in protest, a stream of blood leaking from the corner of her mouth – he had hit her. He'd hit her.
"Fools." His voice was little more than a growl; more animal than human. He stepped out from the shadows and into the watery moonlight. The three men stared at him in horror; he drank in their fear like wine. He knew very well what he looked like – his eyes glowing red, his mouth elongating into a fanged, feral grin, his hair billowing out behind him with the force of his youki. He was a wrathful angel, and they were in hell.
What happened next was a blur. The two men holding Kagome released her and tried to run, and she sagged against the wall of the alley, sinking to the ground and curling around herself. He stood between her and the man who remained; a flash of his whip, and the other two had been caught, dragged back into the alley, and hurled against the back wall with such force that they crumpled to the ground in a shower of broken brick.
The remaining man looked at him in disgust, and pulled a sutra from his sleeve. "Demon be gone!" he shouted, throwing the slip of paper at Sesshoumaru's face; it stuck to his forehead for a moment, then burst into flames and disappeared, leaving the enraged face of the beast unmarred. The man's disgust and disdain evaporated into a look of sheer terror. He turned to run, but Sesshoumaru caught him by the collar.
"Die." Calling his poison into his claws, he reveled in the scent of smoking flesh.
"N-no," came a small voice behind him. He turned, crimson eyes lighting on the tiny figure who huddled against the wall behind him. "Please don't kill him," she gasped.
His eyes narrowed. The man hurt her. He had to pay. But the scent of his bitch's tears was calling to him; she was frightened, and needed comfort. With a snarl, he brought the man's face even with his own, memorizing his scent, breathing in hatred and sweat and terror and urine from where the man had pissed himself. He shook him once, deliberately. The man whimpered.
"Tonight," he growled low, "you live. Because of her." He tossed him away, noting with satisfaction the way his head cracked against the wall.
Turning to Kagome, he knelt beside her and ran his hands gently over her to check for injuries, scenting her carefully. She wasn't bleeding anywhere save her lip, and that was superficial; she was still afraid, but otherwise unharmed. Finally, his examination finished, he met her eyes, knowing his own were still glowing red.
She shivered, her blue eyes wide. He knew he was frightening her, but he couldn't stop – his fury was still too great. He ached to reach out for her, to pull her close and reassure her, but didn't want to alarm her further.
"Sesshoumaru?" she asked, her voice trembling.
"We are here, little one," he rumbled, his voice still the low growl of the beast. "You are safe."
With a gasping sob, she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. A deep, soothing rumble erupted from his chest as he wrapped her in his arms, mindful of his claws, and nuzzled her temple with his cheek. She was sobbing into his shoulder with abandon; he stroked her hair, kissing her forehead and licking gently at her tears. She giggled at the strange sensation, her shock and terror gradually fading.
"Come," he said softly, cradling her in his arms and rising to his feet. "We return." For a long moment she looked at his face – eyes red, markings jagged, deadly fangs jutting down over his bottom teeth. Then she leaned forward and kissed him.
For a moment, he couldn't respond. She accepted him. She accepted them. The taste of her blood, the scrape of her blunt human teeth on his lower lip, the bold little tongue exploring his fangs – she overwhelmed his senses, and he whimpered into her mouth. Smiling, she drew back, and lay a small hand on his cheek, covering the jagged-edged stripes.
"Take me home?" she whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder. His arms tightened around his precious burden, and he took off into the night sky.
