Percy was feeling down.
He had woken up, ready to face the day when last night had hit him like a ton of bricks.
Everything had gone great leading up to their show. He'd get on stage, play his heart out, do his thing with the fans and after that he'd sneak out of the hotel as soon as his friends were asleep to go meet up with his own special fan.
It ended up going differently, though. He ended up having to cancel on Annabeth who apparently had a very special night planned for them, if the pictures on his phone were anything to go by.
He didn't mind as much, though. Yes, he had a raging libido and it had been a while for him, but he would be there for his friends when they needed him, no questions asked.
Percy always felt kind of useless whenever Nico had one of his panic attacks. He couldn't really do anything for him, because it was Jason who had the magic ability to calm him down. He didn't know why that was, but his ADHD probably had something to do with it. He could never really be calm in situations like that, and if he fussed over Nico in that state he would probably do more harm than good.
That didn't mean he didn't care about Nico as much as Jason did. He just didn't have the same romantic feelings in the mix.
While Jason would tend to Nico, Percy would find them a quiet place and get them water, or whatever they needed.
Which is what he had done last night. He had convinced the bar's owner to let them lock up and hand off the keys on their way home, and had made sure that all their gear was outside so they would have the place all to themselves.
He'd been outright shocked to find Nico in the arms of Will. For half a second he thought that Jason had already found him, since at first glance Will sort of looked like him, until he remembered that Jason was still on the other side of the alleyway.
He had never seen Nico respond to anyone else other than Jason when he had been in that state. People had tried, but Nico would flinch away from their contact, or even their voices, sometimes panicking even more.
After he saw the way Nico had looked at Will, and the way Will had looked at Nico, he knew there had to be something there. He didn't know if Will even swung that way, and if he did, if he was even attracted to Nico, but he couldn't resist making sure that their paths would cross again.
Of course, this wasn't what he'd had in mind when he wanted them to meet again. Clearly, a big romantic moment with white doves and violin music was too much to ask for. He really didn't know what to expect going forward.
And then of course there was Jason to take into account.
Jason. Percy's best friend ever since they'd met at the summer camp his mother had sent him to. Jason, who had surprised everyone when he came out as gay. Even Percy had been taken aback. He didn't mind, not at all, but he hadn't seen that one coming.
He loved both of his band mates, and he wished for them to be happy. After all these years, it was clear to Percy that yes, they were happy with each other, but not as happy as they could be. The way he saw it, they were too young to simply settle for each other, and if it turned out that, yes, they were destined to be together, it would happen regardless.
Yesterday, he had snuck into Nico's room to talk to him about their 'relationship', much the same way as he had talked to Jason. When Nico refused to wake up, he had seen the notebook and couldn't resist. He'd never read anything Nico had written there.
He flipped through the pages, finding nothing more than scrawled notes that he could never decipher. Nico should have been a doctor, judging by his chicken scratch writing. What a disappointment.
He was lucky to have escaped that room with his life. Once Nico caught him reading his notebook, he was sure that he was done for. So he had done what he always did; do something silly to distract him from what he'd done. And like Nico had said, it ended up with Jason cutting a way too small t-shirt from his torso.
He hadn't even been able to have the talk with Nico, figuring he had pissed Nico off enough for one day.
His curiosity was piqued, though. After last night, he needed to talk to Nico more than ever.
"Nico"
Will was shocked. When he had opened the door, the last person he expected to be standing there was Nico. His father, his mother, a classmate. Heck, a three-headed dog would be higher on his list of people to expect at his door.
His mind was racing, but his body was frozen. He could barely get a breath out as he stood there, staring at the man in front of him, who was pretty much doing the same thing.
"Will?"
Cecil's voice shook him from the moment. He didn't have time to respond, barely registering the question, only keeping his eyes trained on Nico.
"OH MY G-"
Before Will knew it, Cecil was behind him, staring over his shoulder with eyes as wide as they could go without rolling out of his skull.
And still, he just stood there, too shocked to think.
There was some rustling inside before Cecil dashed past him and into the hallway, coming to a standstill between him and Nico.
"Hello! I'm Cecil and I'm a huge fan! It's so nice to meet you!"
That was all he said before he walked off into the direction of the elevators. "See you later, Will!"
Once he was out of Nico's line of sight he turned around and started waving his arms around like a complete idiot. Will was briefly distracted by the movement in the corner of his eye, so he turned his head away from Nico, just in time to catch Cecil, with the biggest smile Will had ever seen, having a one man party in the hallway, mounting 'Oh my God!' and giving Will two thumbs up before finally disappearing into the elevator.
He smiled. Cecil was a good friend. He loved Thrice Greek as much as Will did, but he had guessed correctly that this was something Will would want to deal with alone.
He turned his head back to Nico, who was still standing in front of him, looking highly uncomfortable.
"Hey."
Nico looked up from the floor. "Hey."
Well, this conversation was going great.
"Uhm, do you want to come in?"
Nico's breath hitched. "Uh, yeah, sure."
Discomfort hung in the air. Neither of them moved away from their position, both just staring at the other but not daring to make eye contact.
Don't be an idiot, move!
Will pulled the door further open with a small smile and took a step back. "Come on in."
Nico took a step forward, seemingly hesitating in the doorway before walking to the middle of the room. He took his sunglasses off and looked around.
More silence. Urgh, this was so awkward.
Okay, Will. He's just a human, you can do this. Take a breath and start talking.
"Uhm, want some coffee or anything?"
Nico turned around and for the first time that day, made eye contact with Will. His eyes looked fragile, his pupils blown wide, though it was hard to tell, with how dark his irises were. "Coffee would be nice, thanks," he spoke in a soft voice.
When Will turned around to make coffee, he had to remind himself to breathe. Nico di Angelo, in his apartment. He briefly considered slamming his head into a cupboard to see if it wasn't all a dream.
Turning around with two mugs of coffee in his hand, he saw that Nico hadn't moved from his spot in the center of the room. He had shed his jacket, and was staring at the corner of the room where the guitar hung on the wall.
"I'm..." Nico seemed startled as Will's voice cut through the silence, even though he hadn't spoken loudly. "I'm sorry. About last night."
Nico spun around to face Will, raising his eyebrows. "You're sorry?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry that had to happen to you. I'm sorry for not being able to do more." Will's voice took on a hint of sadness and he stared at his socked feet.
Shaking his head, Nico took a tentative step forward. "You don't have anything to be sorry about." He paused. "If anything, I'm sorry that you had to see that."
Now it was Will's turn to raise his eyebrows. "That's alright. Don't be sorry for that. I-" he took a deep breath and looked up again. "I'm just glad you're okay." He placed the mugs down on the table and sat down on the couch, rubbing at his face in an attempt to clear his mind.
He heard shuffling, and felt the couch dip under Nico's weight when the man sat down on the other end of the couch, keeping his distance. "I have- I-" He groaned. "Thank you."
Will looked over at the other end of the couch, where Nico was slumped forward with his forearms resting on his knees. "You're welcome."
And there it was, the silence that had been threatening to fall over them ever since the door had opened, had descended. Both men stared at anything but each other as the minutes ticked on.
Will could feel his heart beat loudly in his throat. This was a disaster. Why couldn't he think of anything to say? Why did he have to choke up now, of all times?
A soft rustle of fabric came from beside him and when he looked over he saw that Nico was getting off the couch.
He fucked up. Shit. He had so much he wanted to say but he couldn't find the courage to do it, and now, his chance had passed. Nico was going to leave and Will would spend the rest of his life beating himself up for for not being able to act like a normal human.
"-oat."
The brown-eyed man's voice filtered in through his thoughts, so quiet it was barely audible, even in the nearly painful silence that hung between them. "Sorry, what was that?"
Nico cleared his throat, but it didn't help his voice from sounding shaky. "I said..." He swallowed. "I brought your bag and your coat."
Will perked up, he had completely forgotten that he had left his coat around Nico when he left the bar last night. Apparently he had forgotten his bag as well. "Oh! Thank you!"
Nico gave a quiet snort. "Figured you'd need them back. Thanks for the coffee."
An alarm went off in Will's head when Nico started making his way to the door.
"Nico?"
The other man halted and turned around. "Yes?"
It was now or never. "I..." He swallowed hard. "You know... I just wanted to say..."
Nico looked uncomfortable standing around, waiting for Will to get on with it.
"Your music helped me a lot. Back when my brother... He-" He exhaled nervously and took a deep breath. "I was depressed. Not eating, not sleeping, barely responding to anything. For weeks. And... And then I heard 'Let Your Good Heart Lead You Home' on the radio, and it just... I was in the dark and that song just... Brought a tiny spark of light and..." A deep sigh. "As cheesy as it sounds, it was my guide out of the darkness."
He didn't dare look Nico in the eyes, afraid that he wouldn't care, that he would laugh at him, that he would leave. He had laid his soul bare, and it was frightening. Finally being able to say what he felt to whom he had wanted to say it to for so long was both a blessing and a curse.
"That song means so much to me, and I just wanted you to know that, I guess." His voice broke, the memories still fresh in his mind. He hung his head low and waited for the inevitable.
What happened next was a complete surprise. He heard feet shuffling closer on the carpet, and he was startled when a pair of beat up Converse sneakers moved into his line of sight.
He looked up to find Nico leaning over him, a shaking hand hovering above his shoulder before making contact, fingers curling on his skin in a gentle squeeze.
He smiled sadly up at the man in front of him, not really knowing what to say or do at this point.
The hand left his shoulder and Nico sat down on the couch again, closer this time.
His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke next. "You know... I wrote that song about my sister."
Will turned his head, and was met with the sight of an utterly defeated Nico, a far cry from the rock star he had seen on stage the night before.
"She..." Nico looked over at the guitar on the wall. "She joined the military, some all-woman combat team or something." His eyes closed and his face twisted into a grimace. "She died overseas, killed by friendly fire."
Will was shocked. He didn't know that Nico had had a sister. "I'm sorry."
Nico nodded sadly. "Yeah. She's the reason I got into music in the first place, the reason why I started playing the guitar."
Will nodded right back. "Michael was the reason why I took up the guitar, too."
"I didn't know you played."
"Acoustic, mostly. Otherwise the neighbours would skin me alive." He managed to choke out something resembling a chuckle.
It seemed as if getting their stories out lifted some tension from the room. Will was starting to realize they had more in common than just a love for music. In a way, it was strange. He had laid his soul bare to Nico, and in return he had been allowed to see a tiny glimpse of his. In his eyes, it made him seem more human, and less God-like rock star.
"So how is it, playing on stage?"
Nico smiled drily. "Scary, to be honest. Don't think I'll ever get used to it. Panicking doesn't help."
"Hey." Will looked up with a frown. "Don't beat yourself up over that. I was there last night, I saw how they wouldn't leave you alone."
Nico pulled his feet up on the couch and hugged his knees to his chest. "I should be stronger, should be able to handle a few fans. I'm supposed to be a fucking rock star, damn it!"
Will turned his whole body towards Nico and laid a hand on his knee. "Listen to me. I might not know you, but panic attacks are never your fault. You're not weak for experiencing them. Don't ever think that." He could feel Nico's hair brush against his knuckles when the other man turned his head to look at him.
Nico spoke with the same raspy voice that he had heard last night, when Jason had brought him inside. "I know. Jason tells me the same thing. Doesn't feel that way at all, though."
Will managed a smile and squeezed Nico's bony knee. "Nothing I can do about that. But you are a rock star, both in the literal and metaphorical sense. You've gone through what I have and came out as someone I admire. The pain never really goes away, but don't for a second think you're weak."
He meant it. He meant every word that he said. He really hoped he didn't put Nico off.
"Thank you." Nico managed a watery smile.
Will watched as deep brown eyes fell on the laminate, still laying on the table where he had put it earlier.
"Jason, I take it?" Nico nodded his head at the little plastic rectangle.
Finally, Will could smile again. "Yeah. As a thank you for last night. And he also- oh." Looking down at himself, he got up off the couch. As he walked towards his bed in the opposite corner of the room, he pulled the hoodie that he forgot he was wearing over his head and rummaged around in one of his dresser drawers, coming up with a faded yellow t-shirt that probably had some print on it at one time or another. He put it on and folded the hoodie.
When he walked back to the couch, Nico was looking… Flustered? Way to go, Will, you made it even more awkward.
"Here." He handed the folded hoodie to Nico and sat back down next to him. "He also gave me that, because…" He scratched at the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly. "Well, you kind of ruined my shirt, heh."
Nico's eyes went wide, and Will kept on talking. "No, it's no big deal. Small sacrifice to make. Don't worry about it."
"But-"
"I'd feel guilty if I kept his hoodie. Please give it back to him, and tell him I said thank you."
Nico nodded, clutching the hoodie in his hands. "I will." He made a move to get off the couch, but changed his mind at the last moment. "I uh, I have a question before I go."
Will looked him in the eyes. "Yes?"
The eye contact was broken almost as soon as it had started. "This might sound weird but…" Nico's face went red and for a millisecond, Will's mind went to a happy place. "Could you…" He sighed. "Could you keep this to yourself?"
Will frowned. "What do you mean?"
"All of it. Mostly the panic attack. I don't want to be a dick but I kind of keep that part of my life out of the press," he started fidgeting with the drawstrings of the hoodie. "Please?"
The other man looked so fragile at that moment that Will wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him until he felt better. "Of course. I completely understand. I won't say anything."
Nico smiled warmly. "Thanks. For everything." He stood up and started walking to the door, closely followed by Will. "So, I guess I'll see you at our shows, then?"
Will's lips curled up into a toothy grin, before he remembered that he hadn't brushed his teeth yet that day and oh god what if his breath smelled the whole time and-
"Will?"
He shook himself out of his thoughts. "Yeah, definitely. Wouldn't miss them for the world." He opened the door for Nico, catching a glimpse of the man's smile. He remained in the doorway as the other man walked out. "Thank you for bringing me my stuff." He waited for Nico to turn around and held his hand out to him.
Nico held out his own and shook Will's hand. "No problem. See you around, Will."
"See ya."
As he watched the other man walk away in the direction of the staircase, he leaned against the doorframe. His hand tingled where Nico had touched it, as if it had been burned into his skin.
He couldn't believe that just happened. Nico di Angelo, in his apartment. He groaned. He probably made a fool of himself. That had been one part awesome and two parts awkward as all hell.
The whole thing did make him realize one thing. Nico di Angelo was just another human being. Not some rock god to be placed upon a pedestal. Not a flawless man without a care in the world. It was easy to look at him that way due to his fame, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Nico had his own flaws. He had feelings and doubts just like he did. Maybe he was crazy, but that kind of made him like Nico all the more.
He could never have imagined that Nico had gone through the same thing as he did. He knew how hard it was to lose a sibling, and he wouldn't wish that upon his worst enemies. Maybe that's why Thrice Greek's music appealed to Will so much.
He shut the door behind him and collapsed on his bed. More sleep, that was what he needed.
Nico sank down to the floor in the 6th floor stairwell. That had taken a lot out of him.
He'd thought he could do it, he thought he was strong enough to just go up to the apartment of what was essentially a stranger, and hold a damned conversation.
The second he had stepped into Will's apartment, he had felt that it was a mistake. He wasn't ready for this. Maybe one day he would be, but today was not that day.
The apartment itself could only be described as… Cozy. That's what it was. It felt warm and homely, something Nico rarely ever felt, being on the road as much as he was. Not to mention that his father's huge mansion was about as far from cozy as you could get.
No, the apartment itself was a cozy little world all on its own, and it had made him feel a little bit better. It looked lived in, with that beat up but surprisingly comfortable couch.
Some old movie posters hung on the wall, which were a soft blue colour, like the sky on a warm, summery California day. He briefly wondered if one day he would have a place like that. Somewhere warm and welcoming.
Then there was Will. Yeah, Will. It had started out so awkward between them. Honestly, he hadn't planned to stay as long as he did. Or say as much as he had, either.
The first thing that came out of Will's mouth caught him completely by surprise. He apologized. Will apologized to him. He didn't have anything to apologize for. Absolutely nothing.
That had come so far out of left field that he hadn't known how to go on from there, and before long, an icy silence had fallen over them, turning the cozy little studio into a harsh box that held them prisoner.
It was then that he had remembered why he had come there in the first place, but when he got off the couch and went to grab his - no, Will's - things, the blond had been unresponsive, clearly lost in thought. Probably thinking of ways to get the weirdo out of his apartment.
So he did the only thing that came to mind. Well, it didn't exactly came to mind as much as it had been in the forefront of it since before he stepped foot in the studio. "LEAVE." The words were etched into his brain in big, fat, angry, red neon letters, blinking for emphasis.
And again, Will had surprised him. He had heard it quite a few times, but never before had they made such an impact. "Your music means so much to me."
As confident as he was, it wasn't the weirdest thing in the world that he could never believe that people meant it. He just assumed that people said it to make him feel good about himself, or tried to schmooze up to him.
He was never the best at taking compliments. He felt undeserving of them. It was hard for him to process that people actually liked him, or the things he did.
But Will… Will had looked so fragile as he said those words. For the first time, Nico heard them and knew that they were sincere. It shocked him. Yes, he knew that people liked their music, otherwise they wouldn't have a record deal in their pocket and they wouldn't be on the other side of the country for a tour. But there's like, and then there's… more.
The sudden wave of emotions that had washed over him when he realized that Will meant it had made him want to scream. He didn't know if it was out of happiness or anything else, but… Yes, definitely happiness. The song that he'd written in an attempt to get rid of the pain that he felt had helped someone else deal with their pain. His way of coping had turned into someone else's way of coping.
He felt honored, and proud.
Like his comfy little home, Will exuded warmth. He was open, welcoming, kind and his demeanor was disarming. He was still a virtual stranger to Nico, but he didn't quite feel any hostility.
He didn't know why he ended up telling Will about his sister. He had never told anyone about that, aside from his closest circle of friends. Perhaps he had wanted to let Will know that he wasn't the only one who had gone through such a thing. He would figure it out later.
Last night, he had felt so safe in his arms, much like he always felt safe in Jason's. Maybe that had been the reason why he had dared to open up a little.
It was pointless to pretend that he wasn't broken on in the inside. Will had seen it first hand. He had seen him at his lowest. It apparently hadn't scared him away. Sure, he was acting a little weird and shy, but Nico could relate. In a way it was nice, being around a fan and not having to be Mr. Big Bad Rockstar. It was almost liberating, to tell an outsider that he didn't feel like one.
He had been so kind. Not only had he taken the time to calm him down last night, but he further emphasized his kindness by telling Nico that he didn't think he was weak. His gentle voice combined with the spark in those beautiful blue eyes made Nico feel warm on the inside. Maybe it would be enough to keep the nagging little voice in his head that told him that he was worthless quiet for a while. He hoped so.
Speaking of warm. Holy shit.
Down here in the stairwell, slumped against a cold wall, he could feel his cheeks warming up, his stupid blush reaching from his ears all the way down to his chest.
He couldn't suppress the smirk that broke out over his face as he thought about how Will had taken his shirt off.
Okay, he had tried not to look. But he was a man and he had needs and Will was attractive. It wasn't like he had seen a whole lot but, damn. He wasn't as chiseled as Jason, but it was attractive in his own way. He looked… soft. Muscular, but soft around the edges. His shoulders looked like someone had flung a paintbrush at him, dozens upon dozens of freckles splattered around the skin. Will seemed to have a tattoo just below the neckline of his shirt, but he had been too far away to make out what the words said. Not that he was looking that hard. Not at all.
Okay, so Will was attractive. Shirtless, even more so. Not that it mattered because he was probably straight and Nico was so done with crushing on straight guys.
Anyway, it wasn't like they would- Actually, they would. Jason had given him a laminate. Wow, if that didn't bring on some mixed feelings, then he didn't know what would.
He wouldn't think of that right now. He was feeling good for once and he wasn't going to doubt things, and he wouldn't let his good mood get ruined by anything.
Despite how awkward it had been, he had made it through. He had gone out on his own, he had talked to another person without Jason or Percy to fall back on and he didn't curl up into a ball and cower like a child. He knew it was a normal thing to do for most people, but for him it had been a big deal, and he was proud of himself.
He lifted himself to his feet and started making his way outside the building. As he hailed a cab he watched how his fingers caught the last rays of sunshine, making them feel warm. Warm, like how his hand had felt around Will's.
A/N
Hello!
First of all, thank you for reading. Really, thank you!
Second, I would love to get some more reviews. I haven't been feeling too confident about the story lately, and I would really really like to hear what you guys think about it. Good or bad, send me your thoughts!
