Chapter 8

Derek was standing looking out the window watching the ferries, when Ellie found him. She had been hoping he was in surgery, she had no idea what to say to him anymore. She knew she should talk to him, but it wasn't that easy, she had spent so long hating him, for giving up on her, for abandoning, for not being there when she got help.

"Seattle has ferry boats," she said leaning against the glass panel next to him.

"Are you supposed to be out of bed?"

"Yes," she sighed, he didn't make it easy.

"Sorry, habit," he said. Ellie was finally trying to talk to him, and he goes all doctor on her.

"New York doesn't have ferry boats."

"Seattle is surrounded by water on 3 sides."

"I like ferry boats."

"I remember. You were so excited the first time you got on the Staton Island ferry," smiled Derek.

"That was different, it's not a ferry more like a floating subway," said Ellie.

"Your Mom said you were thinking about staying here for a while."

"Yeah I'm thinking about it. I applied to SU (Seattle University), so I guess I could hang out here till I get the letter. Maybe check out the campus," said Ellie.

"Where else did you apply?"

"Anderson, Chicago, NYU, Florida and Northwestern," said Ellie.

"Nice choices, little spread out though," Derek commented.

"I didn't know where I wanted to go, so I picked schools from all over," said Ellie.

"Ah I guess it was a good thing you showed up when you did and few months later and you could have been anywhere," said Derek.

"Yeah, a hole in my heart. That's just dandy."

"I didn't mean…"

"I know. Sorry."

"What are going to study? Medicine?"

"No I don't want to be a doctor, and with my past I doubt I could be anyway."

"What are you doing then?"

"Social work and psychology."

"That's good," said Derek.

"Yeah……"

"You should be getting discharged in the next few days."

"I know, Dr Grey told me."

"If you….where…."

"With Uncle Mark at the hotel"

"Oh…"

"He is your oldest friend, shouldn't you at least talk to him…."

"Ellie, you don't understand….."

"I understand fine. You see I've learned a few things since I arrived. I know Mom slept with Mark, and you were with Dr Grey. But if you can forgive Mom why not him?"

"I haven't…" he admitted.

"You haven't what?"

"Forgiven her. I'm trying, we're trying…."

"But then why are you together if you haven't forgiven her?"

"She is my wife."

"That wasn't what I asked."

"You're too young to understand."

"Too young? Right, that's what you always say when you don't have the answer," said Ellie.

"Ellie…."

"No I remember. Why do people die? You're too young to understand. Where do Babies come from? You're too young to understand that. Why do people take drugs? You're too young to understand." Shouted Ellie, "Well guess what I'm not too young to understand now."

"Keep your voice down," said Derek who was aware that they were being watched by half the surgical staff.

"I guess that is another thing that doesn't change, I'm still an embarrassment. I was right this was a mistake," said Ellie turning and walking away. back…I didn't….."

But she kept walking away.

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"Did it ever occur to you that maybe the state of their marriage is none of your business, and that is why he didn't spill his guts to you," said Mark, Ellie had told him what happened between her and Derek.

"I was just asking the questions he should be asking himself," said Ellie.

"It's not your place to ask them. Let them figure it out for themselves," said Mark.

"But…."

"Look I know, everyone knows they shouldn't be together. But it's up to them to realise or to fix it, not me and not you."

"They are both unhappy…."

"Not your fault."

"I can't just sit back and watch this…."

"Why not? They sat back and watched you destroy yourself just return the favour."

"So you're alright, just watching your best friend and…..Mom hurt each other."

"No I'm not alright with it but what can I do?"

"I don't know."

"They are adults so unless they ask for help, keep your nose out."