A/N: hello.. i am really sorry that this chapter took such long time... well, i have nothing to say execpt for the usual thanks to everyone who still reads and reviews, follows, favorites, whatever, your love makes me smile, thank you for liking this fiction : )
also thank you for the worrying messages.. if i once start it i'm never going to stop it till it's not finished normally so no need to worry..
i know a lot of you liked how i was doing this alone but i decided to ask one of my favorite writers here to be my beta, so her work is also in this chapter, hopefully is going to be in the following ones as well... she is SophieSchmidt :) thank you! really, i love you, you did amazing and thanks for taking the time and fixing this long long thing for me :) forever grateful.. everyone please go and read her fictions because she really is amazing and deserves all the love that you can give her!
so then it's all.. enjoy and review and follow Sophie : ) thanks for the patience!
Chapter 8 – Making it official
"So amazing", Kendall whispered against the brunette's lips. James nodded and never left his fingertips from caressing the blonde angel's cheek.
They spent the last hour or so with their lips connected in James' bed whilst morning snuck up on them, the sun shining brightly through the window, but they didn't care; they didn't care about anything but each other. Both the young boys enjoyed these fleeting moments, wanting to cherish them before reality set in and they had to face the real world. This hour was perfect, shared only with their joined lips, light talking and a mutual feeling of slight sadness; miserable that it took so long to get to this point.
But the closer the real world got and the brighter the sun shone through the window, Kendall's nerves grew. And this was not lost on James.
"What's wrong?" The brunette asks softly.
Kendall sighed, his sweet breath caressing James' face, "School starts soon, and we should get up."
"I don't think I ever want to get up but if we must…" James yawned and leaving a last kiss on Kendall's cheek. He got up and stood next to the bed, holding out a hand for Kendall.
"I know you're nervous" James says gently, "But I'll be there, Kendall, and if you don't want to, we don't have to tell to anyone, yet. I understand if you feel uncomfortable if it's not only the two of us. I've never been with any guys like I'm with you now so I don't know how it'd feel. I always only imagined but I know, somehow I believe I can get over the bad things if you help me. I always care about people's opinion but if it's about you and I and our happiness, I don't care about anybody else's but yours. And if you accept me this way, I don't care about anything. But I can wait for you."
Kendall got his strength and pushed himself off of the bed. Standing in front of James and looking straight up into his hazel eyes with his own green ones he smiled, "You're so amazing you don't even know, do you?"
James shook his head.
"When I recognized I liked you I decided to give it a try no matter what other people will think, because I don't care about them. But I'm still scared that I'd not take it well and then it would turn out badly, you know? You could see that, although I was determined I distanced myself from a chance with you again for not believing in my heart. If you wouldn't have been here forcing us to talk, I wouldn't have gotten here where I am now. I'm still scared though, I think I always will be but I want you to be there, to never leave holding my hand again and kissing me if it's possible. I'll try but if –"
"Shh" James cut him off by connecting their lips again, "if you try that's more than enough but again, I don't want to force it. I know it's strange; it is even for me too. At least you had a girlfriend already; I haven't had any real ones yet."
"Shit" Kendall hearing the girlfriend word winced and then James realized what he just said.
"What are you going to do with Jo?"
"I don't know, break up?" Kendall asked sarcastically with a giggle on his face trying to pretend like it wouldn't be a big thing that he actually had forgotten about his girlfriend. But she hadn't looked for him either, where is she?
"Ah okay you smartass. What's she going to say?"
"Let's find it out now. I don't want her to be around me again and I can't get rid of her only if I tell her the truth. She wouldn't leave me alone."
"We can hide it for a while if you want" James again tried.
Kendall raised his eyebrow, "You sound like you're the one trying to persuade me that I don't have to be scared and we can show it but yet you keep saying that we don't have to do this if I don't want it, but what if in fact you are the one being scared and not wanting it?"
James stepped back, "don't start to argue now when everything is so good. I'm just saying things here and anyways where were you when I said even I am scared and even I know that it's strange and new? I said it but you didn't hear obviously" He scoffs.
Kendall lifted his palms in defense of himself, "okay, okay" he dragged James back into his arms and hugged him not caring about the pain he caused to himself. Feeling James that close was the best feeling, a feeling that could wash away the biggest pain, so he didn't mind; he didn't have a bad word in complaining that his injury ached as fuck. He instead just squeezed his teeth and hugged James tighter to show him that he was sorry and he didn't mean it.
"I'm sorry. It's just... It's coming from my own fears. I told you it can happen. I will push you back where you earlier were if you stay with me. I'm not even near to be that strong as you are and as you think I can be."
"Kendall, shut up. I told you we can work on it together. Okay?" James pulled away to see Kendall's eyes.
"Okay" the blonde answered letting James to taste his lips once again.
They soon broke apart and gathered their things for school. Before leaving James' room James wanted to hear a certain answer so he asked again, "so then what now?"
"Let's just see how things go, okay?" Kendall asked hoping to be spontaneous would be the best way. Whenever he planned to do something it never worked, now without a plan stepping into a new world was dangerous though but yet maybe the best he could do, ever.
James nodded his head and they soon walked out and made it to the kitchen where James' Dad was making breakfast.
"Hi guys, everything okay?" he asked with a smile, sliding some egg onto plates on the already set table.
James and Kendall both smiled in return, standing next to each other and hiding their clasped hands from James' father as they answered with a collective, "yes."
Mr. Diamond chuckled and tossed the apron away before taking a seat, "Let's eat then and Kendall I took the initiative to search for your Mom's number since I don't remember if you ever called her that you'd be staying here for the night. I talked to her for a little bit."
Kendall lowered on his chair, feeling his knees going weak by the sharp pain in his abdomen, "when did you call and what did you say if I can ask?"
"Last night, and I just told her that you're friends with my son and wanted to stay here, I didn't mention that we took a visit to the hospital."
Kendall sighed in relief and felt James' hand grabbing his under the table. They exchanged smiles then the blonde turning to James' Dad and offering the man a "thank you."
Christopher swallowing a mouthful of eggs, "it's okay son, now eat both of you or you'll be late for school. You two took pretty long getting up despite that you were up really early."
James blushed thinking about what they were doing in the last hour, "uh yeah, time passed by and we didn't notice but I'll drive straight to school, today I won't pick up Logan and I don't have to make a huge round in the city, so it'd be fine, I guess."
"James" Kendall asked, "Did you ever call to tell them I was okay?"
James grinned, "Maybe I forgot."
Kendall punched him in the arm and the brunette yelped in pain. "You promised them, I heard" Kendall said being kinda mad that James couldn't keep his word in such a small, trivial thing.
"I just forgot, okay? I was too busy with dealing with you in my bed all night and morning" James said louder than he wanted at first but he was pissed that Kendall made such a big problem out of nothing.
James' Dad laughed and it snapped the boys out of their anger, "What?" they asked in unison.
Christopher replenished his thirst with a sip of orange juice, and then placed the glass back onto the table before saying, "I took care of that too. First I called Logan since I had his number from you James and he asked me if I knew that you have ever called a boy named Carlos. I told him I didn't know about that so he told me that his Dad is working at the police station so if I call them they can let Carlos' Dad know that you were fine so Carlos would know it too. So everything is fine. Both of your friends know that everything is good with you Kendall."
James couldn't help but laugh at Kendall, "See? Dad took care of it. Don't freak out."
Kendall still felt unsure. That was just a little favor Logan asked and James forgot it, "okay but… it was just a little thing and you forgot… he grumbled before returning to his breakfast.
"Fine" James breathed annoyed, "be mad at me for nothing" and with that he was digging into his meal too.
Christopher's quiet laugh broke their moment again, repeating the same tone and looks as a minute before James and Kendall were raising eyebrows at Dr. Diamond, "what?"
"You guys are like an old married couple arguing over every little thing. Really funny to watch you guys, it definitely makes my day" he again drunk some juice then swallowed the last piece of his eggs and stood to his feet. He put the dishes into the dishwasher and then stood behind the guys resting a palm on each guy's shoulder and squeezing hard he said, "have a nice day boys and try to not kill each other. Kendall don't play hockey for at least two weeks, see you soon." With that he was gone and made his way to the hospital, his shift would start in an hour.
"Your Dad is really cool" Kendall said and continued to eat.
James quietly set the fork down, "Kendall?"
The blonde turned face to James, "yeah?"
"I'm sorry okay? I know this isn't exactly how you wanted us to start… And that you have to actually see how forgetful I am, but honestly it just fell out of my mind. I was so worried about you, I couldn't think of anything else. I was wishing I could hold you; wish I could say it would all be okay… I tried to ignore the effect you had on me, trying to ignore why I wanted you so badly… my head was too clouded with more important issues"
Kendall feeling touched by his words didn't say or do anything but leaned in to kiss James; their lips crushing against each others, instantly making them both forget food, thoughts and everything else. Their hands finding the other ones' hair they deepened the kiss but a sound of a horn from somewhere outside snapped them out of their intense moment, causing them to break apart but only by mere inches.
Their hands remained stroking the back of one another's neck, green eyes still staring into hazel ones and lips curving into smiles they both felt so good that it just cannot be described with words. "Forgiven" Kendall said quietly.
"Thank you" James said before pulling Kendall back in the need to feel the blonde's lips on his own again.
Soon James found out that his Mom wasn't at home when they put everything into the dishwasher and his eyes stopped on a note on the counter. She was saying she was sorry that she left early again and she left a nice amount of money for him to make up for her absence. Kendall shutting the fridge's door and turning to James he could see the sadness taking over James' face.
His eyes fell on the paper he gripped in the brunettes hand, even if Kendall didn't know what it said he noticed that James' mom was nowhere around and from the things James said a few hours ago Kendall knew what was happening. He stepped up to the brunette, wrapping his arms around his muscular yet now so weak body, he caressed circles into James' back and quietly humming that it will be all right in an effort to comfort him.
"Every fucking day. She does this every day" James cried on Kendall's shoulder and threw the money and the piece of paper back to the counter where he found it.
Kendall managed to lift up James' head and placed a kiss onto his forehead, "Remember? We'll make it through. She loves you though, she just… I don't know her so I can't say what she thinks or feels but whatever the reason is of her behaving I'm sure she doesn't want to hurt you. She loves you; don't be scared that she doesn't."
Kendall not expecting an answer but willing to distract James some way first he brushed away the brunette's tears and smiled before gently touched his lips and then said, "together, okay? Remember?"
James nodded quietly and the feeling that he finally found someone who can fulfill his heart with warmth even when he was sad. Someone who could always make him feel better, and he was way happier even if he felt terrible because he thought his Mom hated him and his dad, with Kendall it seemed easier to deal with it.
"Good" Kendall fixed James' hair and said, "Let's go to school then, together."
With a wide smile James reached down for Kendall's hand to take and they made it to James' car.
Walking through the hallways and not being exactly sure how they should do it, Kendall and James decided to only walk next to each other and not interacting any other way, even if they wished they would, they didn't hold hands but they did talk.
"Feeling okay?" James asked and they reached the blonde's locker.
Kendall let out a heavy sigh more in pain than in uncertainty, "yeah and no."
"What kind of answer is that?"
"Yeah because I'm extremely glad that you're here with me talking, more smiling at me and no because I wish I had the guts to take your hand as you want and as I do and this fucking pain in my stomach doesn't make it any better" his locker shut after he grabbed his books and they made it to James'.
James snuggled closer to Kendall on their way, as much as it was acceptable if they didn't want to show anything what was between them. So with only their forearms rubbing against one another's the brunette said, "I'm glad I make you happy just by being around, I always wished for this to happen. You and I making each other glad with only being by each others' side. And I told you I understand, do it when you're ready, and sorry for the pain. Didn't you take any painkillers?"
"I forgot, but I think I'll survive. I'm glad I can walk somehow. It hurts less than the urge that to feel your skin on mine" Kendall held out his hand as he leant against another locker next to James'.
"If you want it, do it" James reached for him and Kendall didn't pull back. Their fingers linked. It felt almost as good as the kisses felt in the morning. Of course it was way less than that, but it was an important part of their fight with themselves when it came to how to handle their feelings in public.
"Better now?" James asked smiling and letting his hand linger in Kendall's grip.
Kendall nodded his head, "much better. I've never thought holding someone's hand could feel this good. Seriously I've never felt it before."
"Me neither" James admitted, their eyes still locked, the air almost visibly vibrating between them and bunch of looks sticking on their held hands but neither of them seemed to notice or care.
Logan and Carlos met at the entrance and walked inside together. Making it first to Logan's locker they were talking calmly, but they both secretly were so excited to be in each other's company.
They couldn't wait for morning to come, even Carlos who actually didn't like to go to school. But now when he had this amazing bond forming with Logan it was way better, better than anytime even if Kendall was there as his best friend. He felt like Logan was something else, someone special who he could have more with, he hoped at least. He also took a mental note about later asking Kendall how he could handle liking James for so long and not taking a single step.
Logan was nervous about going to school, even if he ached to be around Carlos he was not sure how he will deal with the Latino's natural sweet and kindness, and he was scared because he saw that Carlos enjoyed being around him too. Logan didn't want to get too carried away in the image of Carlos enjoying himself too much though, he didn't want to start dreaming.
On their way they heard some kids whispering something about Kendall and James but they didn't hear the words clearly, since everyone knew that Carlos and Logan were their best friends the whispering voices got even quieter in the second they spotted the on-coming boys.
When Kendall and James came into Logan and Carlos' sight they understood everything. The two boys could see their friends holding hands and smiling like wild apples.
"Hm?" Carlos turned to Logan, "you think we woke up in an alternative universe where those two are a couple?"
Logan laughed at Carlos' words, "let's go and ask them what's up?"
"They look so cute. I think we shouldn't interrupt" Carlos said.
Logan shrugged, "James would deserve to be interrupted since he forgot to call me last night."
Carlos giggled, "true. Let's go then."
Once they were in front of their friends they chirped out simultaneously, "hi guys."
Both Carlos and Logan quickly shared a look being surprised that they spoke together but then eyed their friends for any response.
James and Kendall refused to let go of each other but James answered, "hi" and Kendall sent a smile to Logan and Carlos, "hey" he added.
James turned to close his locker but his hand in Kendall's never seemed wanting to be free again.
"How are you guys?" Logan wanted to know.
Kendall and James looked at one another, "we're great" Kendall said.
"Maybe you could explain a few things to us, or we should figure it out by ourselves?" Carlos said impatiently.
James and Kendall laughed, "well, we kind of are... we haven't talked about that thing yet but we talked about a lot of other things," James began and Kendall continued, "and we both realized that we were stupid forgetting how good friends we were once and also we were idiots not to see how much what we want already is not just friendship."
Carlos shot a confused looked at Logan, "told you it's an alternative universe" and then he turned back to James and Kendall, "you two never were friends. What are you guys talking about?"
James chuckled, "you didn't tell anybody as I didn't either?"
"Kinda. Wanted it to be only mine" Kendall said and James smiled hearing his words.
"Okay" Logan laughed with that cute laugh of his, Carlos just then hearing it for the first time and he already fell in love with it, "I think I side with Carlos. It cannot be the same world as I was living in yesterday. What did we miss?"
"We'll tell you guys later, now we need to go to class, I guess" Kendall said and still holding James' hand he turned to the direction of their class leaving Logan and Carlos standing there wondering.
"You sure you want it to be this way?" James asked as they headed towards their class and more eyes glued on their entwined hands. It was mostly girls who were starting to realize that the two most popular, handsome and just all round best guys at their school turned out to be playing for the other team; which was thoroughly disappointing.
Kendall as a response squeezed James' hand and never stopped walking whilst smiling at James, "yes. I know I can do it, with you by my side. I feel empty without your touch, I need you James. Everything's better if you're here with me."
Taken by surprise, James dragged Kendall in to the restroom they passed by and after the door shut Kendall found himself pushed up to the wall and before he could have noticed what James was about to do he felt the brunette kissing him softly and still so passionately.
James' palms pressed onto Kendall's chest and lips crashed against one another's roughly, both young boys letting himself get lost in the moment just right before they should keep themselves back for a length of period. After Kendall sensed what was happening, his hand slid up to James' hair, purely wanting to mess up those brunette locks he loves so much.
James in the heat didn't care about his hair, instead letting his tongue to be shoved into Kendall's mouth the way it hadn't been since they left his house and the way they both knew it easily can cause them certain problems in their pants. Kendall was first to break, being the more focused one, pulling away from their kiss.
James was disappointed at first but then recognizing where they just were going to, he just slightly licked his lips and asked, "you drive me crazy when you say things like you just did out there, you know that, right?"
"Ha" Kendall laughed, "I'm glad I have a way to seduce you anywhere anytime but now it was not the goal. Just wanted to tell you how much I love that you're here for me from now on. You will be here, right?"
"Don't ever try to think that I won't" James pecked the blonde's lips again, "as Logan and Carlos asked about the thing between us, you know I wondered what should we call it?"
"There is a word for that" Kendall giggled.
"There are a lot of words" James said, "but I guess, uhm you sure you want it, then there is no turning back? If we say it out from then it'll be different. Everything."
"I want it, only this one thing I want. Told you, everything's better with you. I need you."
"You say that like everything wasn't all right with you before me."
"Nothing was all right till now. It seemed fine. I loved my life, certain parts of it. When I wasn't at home thinking about my dad or stuff, future and you know, things. But now it all seems even better and the darker things seem lighter."
"Don't do it again" James laughed caressing Kendall's face.
"I don't do it on purpose, sorry. I just want you to know everything."
"Don't be sorry. That's what I love about you. You're honest and without even trying, you make me laugh and make me happy and I believe that I can be someone special for someone else and that's a great feeling. And you give me this feeling with your words not even noticing what kind of effect you have on me. And it's something amazing."
Kendall being touched felt like he could melt into the wall behind him, "I mean it, everything I say I mean it James. I hope we'll get out of here, without heartache."
"We'll do our best, I know" James giving a last quick kiss to Kendall said then sighed and pulled back letting Kendall to catch some breath, "now gotta get to class or we'll get grounded."
Kendall grabbed James' offered hand and they walked out whilst he said, "you know now that you mention it, that would be fun."
Reaching their class Kendall and James walked in smiling but found their way being cut by Logan and Carlos, "you better not come in now."
The blonde laughed, "what? Carlos let me in."
"Believe me you don't want to come in" Logan said and Carlos nodded in agreement. Meanwhile Kendall was trying to persuade them to move away James could peek over Logan's shoulder and saw what was going on.
"Guys, you can't stop him, its better if he knows it sooner, they are over now anyway. At least they will be soon" James said.
"James it's not only that" Logan said, "but anyways you're right" he stepped aside and the sight what came into view surprised Kendall but didn't cause too much of a pain, instead it caused disappointment. But a second later he was the one feeling guiltily since he was doing the same thing with James since the morning. Cheated on Jo and now he witnessed Jo cheating on him.
Kendall made it to Jo after getting an encouraging look and a strong squeeze on his hand from James, chuckling he stood next to the kissing Jett and Jo, "can you drop it for a second?" he asked and they did as they were told.
"Hi Kendall" Jo stated and got off of Jett's lap.
"Hi. Do you want to tell me something?" Kendall asked.
Jo with a stupid grin on her face answered, "I'm not the only one here who should say something but from those things I've learnt about you while we were together I know you won't say anything. You're a chicken Kendall, even if you play the big boy out on the ice and usually everywhere else, you're a fucked up chicken if it comes to certain things."
James was right behind Kendall as the words were spoken and everyone in the class went silent waiting for Kendall's respond.
"You act like you care anyway, when the only thing you care about is to get into my bed; the sooner the better. And since I didn't give it to you that easily how you imagined you come up making out with him" he pointed at Jett who was annoyed by the tone Kendall addressed to him and wanted to stand up but Kendall shot him a look, "you stay out of it or I punch you, bastard" with that Jett backed off and left it for Jo.
James backed off too, leaving Kendall to handle the situation knowing him well enough to know that he wouldn't want to seem weak and would want to prove that he can deal with it. Even if after the action he'd break down what everyone thinks of him now, what Jo said to them and things like that, James knew if he does break down he would be there to hold him.
"And you? Whenever I kissed you or took your hand there was that idiot curve of your lips, like you were disgusted by me and then I come to school for you and James holding hands and sending sweet smiles to each other like there's no a world around you two but you and him?"
Whatever she said to their classmates now they got a hint if they didn't take it before but Kendall actually didn't care, he wanted him and Jo to be over so Jo can sleep around again with anyone who she wants and he can build his things with James, "yeah, I'm sorry for that. I should have held myself back till I fixed certain things with you but since I didn't see you yesterday either, I assume you've cheated earlier so there's no place for you to throw some little things into my face, little things like some public hand holding with someone else."
Jo turned her look away and with that proved Kendall right. She skipped school to fool around with Jett and she couldn't deny that when Kendall already found it out, "right. Then forget it. We're over then, we didn't have anything."
"Oh? You want to get over it so soon? It is okay for you but for me? How the fuck should I get through it huh? You made a total idiot about me in front of the class. I don't even have to look around to know that they all lay eyes on me like I was some circus freak. First they could see you with him, with that you made me look like someone who can be so easily cheated, then you suspect me with cheating and tell the entire world that I didn't have a fucking thing with you but I have a thing with the most amazing boy in this fucking planet? And you make me look like it would be bad, like a guy to like another guy would be bad, when it's not. It's just your stupid mind and the feeling bugging you inside that he can get all of that what you'll never have from me. So now, we are over when I told you that I fucking don't care what you said and what you think, or what anybody else thinks" at that point he led his eyes over the class, "I'm still me and I'm proud of it, okay? I like James, I like him a lot, more than I ever liked anyone and I'm not scared anymore to tell that to the world, no matter what you think."
Jo sat down not caring at all what Kendall said but looking around again Kendall saw that everyone else did care what he said. Surprisingly there weren't weird looks but wondering ones, but hopefully those would go away soon so Kendall didn't take it on heart.
Instead he turned to James who gave him a light smile and squeeze to his hand what immediately made Kendall feeling better.
Their teacher came in and asked everyone to take seats and everyone did as they were told. James next to Logan and Kendall next to Carlos even if the two young soon to be lovers already missed each others' touch.
The class went by calmly, Kendall was distracted and he didn't have time to think, so was James but after the class was over and James went up to Kendall and helped him to get his stuff into his backpack he could see that the blonde was not all right. Even if he seemed fine with everything just happened, it was not all right at all. This was the thing Kendall spoke about earlier. Kendall always could make everyone believe that he was fine with everything happening because even he himself forced himself to believe it.
They didn't speak with words but exchanged several looks till they reached the same restroom where they talked before period.
Kendall found himself leaning against a sink, James letting go of one of their linked hands bent above him and kissed the top of his head, "I'm sorry that you felt like you're forced to tell everyone."
Kendall snuggled deep into James' chest, "don't be, it's okay. How I said I don't care what anyone thinks and how I saw they were only wondering how it can be possible when I was always known as someone who's into girls. I think it's just a bit all of a sudden for some people, as much as it is for me too."
"Not only for you, it's sudden for me too. I always wondered how it'd be like but I never thought it would happen from one day to another, I wanted it to be like this but I never really thought through what it exactly would be like" James said and kept caressing Kendall's back, "together, remember?"
"Yes" Kendall answered and looked up catching James' lips in a moment he didn't wait it and they shared a light kiss, "and thank you" Kendall said when they parted but they stayed still close, Kendall's arms wrapped around James' waist and James' palms still resting on Kendall's back, "for not letting me to do it alone. You know me so well."
"You're welcome. I knew you'd want to show that you can do it alone, that you're nothing from that what she said. You are maybe scared but that only gives you a kind of strength what you can use to turn the situation to your side. And that's great."
"You must know that, you do the same. With your confidence above everything you seem so strong no one dares to argue with you. I learnt everything from you. I'm a far away though to be that good as you are because you never break down, barely at least" he remembered the morning scene when they were alone in the kitchen, "and I still have to learn how to do it."
"You don't have to seem always confident and strong. Otherwise people would think you're not human, they'd be scared of talking to you, to build something with you, they would think you'd always win over them, you'd end up lonely as I am, as I was before I knew you" James said again kissing Kendall ever so softly on the lips and gave him the safety and support he needed.
Kendall sighed after pulling away, "how did I get so lucky to have you? And have you like me, and only me, in return?"
"I ask the same since you first kissed me. I still can't believe it" James smiled and blushed awkwardly, "I really like the thought though."
Kendall rising up from the sink tightened his grip around James' waist and rubbing their noses against one another's he asked, "Let's make it official then?"
"I couldn't even begin to tell you how happy that would make me" James' smile grew bigger and they again met in a kiss.
What both Kendall and James found incredibly amazing in their kisses was that every single one was different. They were similar though since the same spark vibrated between them, the same spark what kept that tickling feeling running through their entire bodies every time they were connected in a kiss, but somehow every time they discovered new feelings too.
This time it was slow and loving and just the right one what can make you feel that you're not alone in the world and that the other one kissing you would be always there for you to support you, and also that you're loved.
Soon they separated again, "amazing, as always" Kendall smiled and welcomed with the most pleasure James' hand on his cheek as he lifted it up to caress the pale skin of Kendall's.
Kendall had never thought he would find a kiss so amazing. He knew now it was that something he always looked for every time he kissed a girl, he just didn't know exactly that he was looking for it on a totally wrong area. "Let's get out here" he said and checked his look in the mirror to see if there was any hint on his face which would tell the others that he had nearly cried.
James did the same as he always did when a mirror was around, both seeing that everything was fine they turned on their heels and left the restroom.
They made it to their next class holding hands on the way and loving the feeling that nobody ever said a word, "see? Only Jo made a big deal out of it. Everybody else has normal minds" James stated and searched on Kendall's face for any answer. He saw some kind of relief but he also saw it was still hard for him to deal with all of this.
"Yeah, that's good" Kendall said and they reached their terminal point. They saw that Logan took seat in front of the desk where Kendall and Carlos usually sat. James and Kendall made it to their friends, Kendall of course sat next to Carlos, James was on Logan's side.
"Where did you guys disappear to?" Logan questioned raising eyebrows.
Kendall and James smiling at each other gave themselves the nerve and finally Kendall spoke, "we made it official. James and I are a couple now."
Carlos' smile was incredibly huge, "I'm so glad for you two!" he pulled Kendall in for a hug, Logan blinked at James then he as well brought his best friend into a close embrace.
As the best friends broke apart James and Kendall's hand found each other on the top of the table. Their tight eye-lock didn't seem to cut anytime soon so Logan broke their moment, "and now would you please tell us what the hell happened since yesterday? What does that mean that you guys were friends and how it became so clear so quickly that you guys like each other?"
"Well" Kendall laughed looking away from James' eyes for a few second till he spoke to Logan, "there are a few things we haven't told you guys," checking Carlos' face and seeing the confusion on it Kendall continued, "you both know that we were in the same hockey camp when we first met, right?" the two nodded and from then James continued.
"We were friends there, shared a room, played in the same team and talked a lot, and snuck out to have fun with girls. We both were scared though that we wouldn't meet again so instead of building our friendship more we pushed each other away. We enjoyed the time together though but you know there was the fear what never let us calm and we tried to not get too close otherwise it would have hurt more when we had to say good bye."
"I get that James" Logan said, "but I don't get it when you came here and discovered Kendall is in this school too, why didn't you guys make up and become the best buddies again? Why was all the teasing and stuff needed?"
Kendall answered, "when I first saw him with you Logan, laughing and having a great time he barely had with me in the last couple of days in the camp, I somehow figured he acted so cold with me because he thought I was boring or whatever, thought he didn't like me at all. He was here from one day, he didn't know you and he laughed so freely like there was no tomorrow, like he seriously barely did laugh with me. I watched him for a while trying to avoid him noticing me and I saw how different he was. He was still the James I got to know, always the confident and strong one but then he seemed even stronger because he even let people to be around him as well. He didn't really do that earlier. He had fun but he kept the distance. The first week he was here I just kept watching him and saw him around girls and stuff. In that year the hockey season started a little bit later since our coach was ill and we didn't meet on the ice only on the second week. I didn't know how to talk to him. He was different. I thought he was. Now I know he was the same and I was the chicken who I always was, he's the same but stronger and better and more amazing than ever."
The memory figured itself in front of both James and Kendall's eyes.
James was already warming himself up with a few other guys on the ice when he stopped for a moment to catch some air and spotted someone coming closer to their group, someone who seemed familiar, who had this whenever recognizable walk on those skinny legs of his and James couldn't believe his eyes.
He was so scared of never seeing him again or not seeing him for ages and there he was, Kendall Knight, closing the distance between them. James was scared, words stuck in his throat and his palms sweated even in the cold of the rink, he tried to gather any meaningful sentence in his mind which would be good enough to greet his friend.
But Kendall didn't let him talk first. He was the same bossy as always and took the first word loudly and with so much certainty in his voice what he always had, what he always used to get everyone's attention on him.
"Who's the new kid?" he asked like he didn't know and with that James was surprised. He wondered, Kendall forgot him already or just wanted to pretend like he didn't know him because even if they somewhat went along well during the camp he didn't like him at all, he was just playing to get through the camp without being sent home for making problems with his roommate.
James then decided he wouldn't tell anyone he knew Kendall. If he wanted to deny it then fine, James will do the same. He didn't like him that much anyway. At least he tried to make himself believe that he didn't. This way he figured it could be easier to get through the pain what Kendall just now caused by simply denying him.
James picking up all of his well known confidence skated closer to the blonde and held out a hand, "James Diamond" his high and strong voice echoed in the rink.
Kendall sensed the coldness and again his image about this new James got stronger and the other picture he had in his mind about the old James he knew in camp started to get foggier. James' eyes didn't mirror any kind of hurt or interest, nothing but the determination what's fire always burned there behind the hazel cover.
Kendall took it like James didn't care how Kendall behaved, probably he forgot me now when he has all of those new friends and girls around.
James did care though but he covered everything behind the wall he'd built up during all the years. If Kendall forgot him, he'll forget Kendall, too.
"Since when are you playing Diamond? You don't seem all that muscular for someone who's played for years" Kendall started off and placed his helmet onto his head. Of course James had perfect body build for playing hockey but Kendall wanted to hear him talk and he simply didn't know what to say. His uninterested look and the sure voice the brunette used scared Kendall. Best way to defend yourself if you attack even if you don't have a real reason to.
"To be honest you don't look like a pro either" James shouted back and they started to play one-on-one the other guys skated aside sensing the tension between the two young boys.
They came off with a tie because their coach arrived and stopped their fight but they continued wherever they could, without sticks and pucks but with words.
Then everything went like that. They pretending like they didn't know each other, Kendall teasing James for his unique way of playing and James giving everything back to Kendall as his own abilities made it possible.
"Then somehow I realized I like you" James said, "I stared at you all the time paying enough attention for you to never catch me and after Logan discovered it, it was even harder to get through it. I somehow assumed you'd never like me."
Logan spoke, "that's true, he always came up like 'I'm sure he's straight. He has got to be, he's way too good to not be the person what everyone expects him to be' and see? I told you he can like you, that you can be good enough for him."
"I told Kendall the same" Carlos said looking at James, "after he discovered he liked you and when he finally got the nerve to tell me, I kept telling him that he should just ask you and then it would be over, this way or another."
"I assume finally this happened, right?" Logan asked, "you two got to talk?"
"Yeah, pretty much" James said, "continued teasing instead. And I couldn't handle it. And Kendall saw it and then he attacked me with a kiss and then we got scared, we almost gave up but then I was the one taking the next step and stood up saying we need to talk. That was when we talked about our feelings for each other, then we got it fixed and since then it's all great. It's actually the best that could happen to me, I don't know about Kendall."
"You don't know my ass! Of course you know that's the best that's happened to me too," Kendall rose up and leant in to give a quick peck on James' lips. Logan and Carlos both smiled ear to ear to see them finally finding each other and they only wished they could get to this part too. They knew Kendall and James could solve everything with talking it out, they should do the same but also they were so unsure. They only got to know each other a little bit yesterday. It wasn't too much to build on.
But then both Carlos and Logan thought of the same thing. It took James and Kendall too a long time to see what they had for each other because they thought they didn't have any serious thing to base their relationship on, could it be friendship or more, they thought it was the state. What if Carlos and Logan would waste that much time as well? Instead they just should ask the other one if they were interested in something like dating together and what's the alternative? A negative answer. They can get through that. But if they give their hopes up and then they fall? That would be worse than anything. They just should ask and then do what they have to.
Logan being Logan a little bit was scared though but Carlos barely scared of a few things, like from spiders and from the dark sometimes. Yes he had this fear, even if he was 17, he just didn't feel good in the dark and he hated those huge spiders sometimes coming out of nowhere.
Asking something from someone wasn't in the fears list so he already opened his mouth to ask Logan if they could talk after classes when a curly haired girl showed up next to their desk and said, "hi Logan."
Logan jumped up immediately, "Camille" he blushed a little bit and shoved his hands into his back pockets.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you all, but we agreed on a date last week and I promised you we would recover it since I cancelled in the last moment. So I thought I would ask you again when it would be okay for you."
Logan took a quick second to look down at James who just grinned and lifted his eyebrows in perplexity so Logan spoke getting his courage up, "oh uh Friday again?"
"That's great. Promise this time nothing will intervene" she said with a sweet smile and with a wave of her hand she left the guys there.
Logan fell to the chair; James needed to put a hand on to his back to save him from falling off of it when he hit the wood underneath himself.
Carlos sighed in disappointment. He's dating the most popular girl in the school. He wished he could have told Kendall already that he liked this Logan guy but since yesterday's happenings they didn't spend any time alone he couldn't do it yet. Then Kendall now would understand what that sad expression on his face was, now he could drag him aside and tell him that it didn't mean anything because he too was dating girls before and now he ended up with James.
Carlos was kinda proud of himself that all of those thoughts came into his mind without actually being spoken by anybody but it wasn't enough. Even if he knew it really didn't mean anything, even if he knew Kendall would say the exact same words as he thought he would, nothing helped. Carlos was sad. If this Camille girl gets under Logan's spell Carlos has no chance anymore.
"I never knew you were dating her" Kendall said to break the silence which he didn't understand why it fell onto them.
Logan sighed, "uh I never did. It was random that she asked me out and last week we would have had a date but she cancelled because of some family emergency."
"And now she asked you again" James patted his shoulder, "that's great, means that she cares about you, really, dude its great, isn't it?"
Logan shot a look at James. James knew right that Logan liked Carlos and he'd rather have a date with him instead of any girls and yet he pushed him towards Camille. James just wanted to be a good friend though. He wanted Logan to get the brave and tell Camille he'd prefer to be with someone else instead.
"If it isn't great, that means you're not interested in Camille, are you?"
"James shut up" Logan raised his voice surprising everyone. He barely did that. "I'm just scared. I don't know how to even talk to her. She's the most popular girl here. She must've got serious expectations or whatever."
His tactic worked really well. Carlos fell for every word of his. It wasn't hard though for Logan to make it seem like he was scared, since he was really scared but for a different reason. He knew he didn't like Camille at all and he'd like to tell it to her soon, but he didn't know if he could handle the consequences. Then everyone would know he didn't like girls at all if he denies Camille.
"We'll help you then. I know a lot about girls. How to handle them" Kendall said and with that earned a weird look from James, "what? You know I dated girls, I know how to deal with them. I can't and won't ever forget that because I can take advantage on it anytime, like now. Logan needs some advice, I guess, right Logan?"
"Yes" Logan quaked.
"Great" Kendall replied, "later I'll tell you a few things then."
Carlos now again wished Kendall would know about his thing for Logan, then he would probably not want to help Logan instead he would help him to do something.
He wanted to ask him to get out for a minute so he could tell him a few things but the bell rang and their teacher immediately was in the class.
Kendall now that James needed to turn with his back to him found the time to check on Carlos and saw the sadness on his face, "you okay?" he mouthed and Carlos tilted his head murmuring "don't know" but then he didn't say any more word.
The blonde decided whatever made Carlos upset on such a beautiful day as it's today, he'd figure it out and would help his friend as he helped him always.
So there.. i hope you liked and of course there is more...
