A/N: Well, here it is. After like, 8 months of leaving you guys on a cliffhanger, the final chapter is here. I promised you guys I would do it, so I did! It's here, its long, and it's the end of this story. Sorry you guys had to wait so long for this...I sure hope this ending satisfies you all.

ALSO, I'll be changing my username a few days after this chapter has been up. Probably tikiwrites, if it's available, so it matches my tumblr and deviantart. Just a head's up for you guys!

REVIEWS!

dotdotdanii: haha, thanks for the long comment. if anyone should be apologizing, that would be me! it took me so long to finally finish this. im glad youve enjoyed the story so far, and all its little odds and ends, and i hope you like this ending as well. thanks for being such a good reader and supporter throughout all this!

il: thank you! i like to create emotion haha. glad to see i succeeded! i hope this chapter fills you up with all kinds of new feelings and emotions. thats what would make my day. u w u

NadoSranghae: aw jeez thanks for speaking up, you silent reader you! i have kept writing, albeit very slowly, so i hope this is some good candy for your stolovan feelings. silent readers are appreciated! :D

Kelsey: gosh what a nice review! it was fun to write, so im glad you had fun reading it. and YES, WHAT A CLIFF HANGER! and i left you there for so long. gosh im so sorry about that...eeeee but hey! heres the ending! read up, bookworms!

bluegirlalexis: hehehe. HEHEHE. alexis youre too damn sweet. im so glad you like what i write, because i love sharing stories and imagination! creating emotion is what i love to do! theres no way around it, writing is one of my passions. if you almost cried in the last chapter, i hope you squeal for this one. love you xoxoxoxo !

Red-SouthPark: thanks! and yep, heres the chapter 8. ehehe.

Catherine: again, thanks so much for the awesome review! either youre reading this because you were notified, or i emailed you. maybe both. but here it is, the final installment in the stolovan chronicles! thanks so much for all the reviews youve left throughout this story...!

TO EVERYONE: here it is! the final chapter is finally up! thanks for reading this and sticking with me through to the end. you guys are good readers. stay dedicated, dont stop reading, and dont stop writing! see you guys around, i hope. :)


CHAPTER 08

It was the slowest, heaviest, most lagging feeling I think I had ever experienced. My head was pounding, my vision blurry and dark, and my throat dry. Nonetheless, I opened my eyes, took in a deep breath, and looked around.

In a bed, wearing clothes I didn't recognize. An IV in my arm, the smell of cleaning supplies filling my nostrils.

A hospital. I was in Hell's Pass hospital.

I looked around, only my eyes moving. There was a nurse behind a curtain, shuffling around a sink, and making soft metallic noises as she organized her equipment. And there my parents sat, in two arm chairs by the window. My mom was tapping her foot restlessly, nose buried in a cooking magazine. My dad was asleep, I think. His head was tilted to the side, resting in his palm, and his eyes were closed.

It was almost awkward for a second. My first thought was to close my eyes and try to go back to sleep, because for some reason I almost felt afraid to talk to them. Like, what were they thinking right now? What were they going to say? And how would I answer their questions . . ?

Deciding to man up, I cleared my throat. My mom's eyes flickered up from her reading, and then her mouth fell open when her eyes met mine.

"Kevin . . ?" she breathed, slowly lowering her magazine. I smiled weakly. She put a hand on my dad's shoulder, jostling him awake. "Hey, he's awake!"

My dad woke with a start, blinking furiously. "Wha—huh?" he spluttered, shaking himself awake. But my mom was already out of the chair, making her way over to my bedside. Hearing the commotion, the nurse also peeked out, then smiled as she saw me awake, and nimbly followed behind my mom, waiting for our exchange to be over.

"Ah, Kevin!" my mom exclaimed, taking my hand and gently pressing a hand to my cheek. Squeezing my hand, she asked, "How are you? Are you . . . oh gosh are you okay?"

I didn't have an answer. Naturally, that would probably be the first thing out of her mouth. And I get that. But, how the fuck do I even answer that? I didn't know if I was okay or not. Physically, well, that was up to the doctor to tell. I sorta felt like shit, with all the head pounding and numbness in my knees and toes and whatnot. But mentally? Hell, I didn't know how long I had been out, who had come to visit me (and who hadn't), and how to tell my parents why I was here.

As my dad appeared next to her, I just gave my mom's hand a weak squeeze back. "I uh, I don't know," I murmured, bringing a concerned frown to both of their faces. I sighed, trying to avoid looking in their eyes. "I'm sorry."

My mom immediately began to shake her head. "It's okay, it's okay," she assured me, leaning over to plant a kiss on my forehead. "You've been through a lot. No one's blaming you for anything."

Yeah, well, I can think of someone who probably is. But of course, I kept this remark to myself.

"You've been out for days," my dad informed me, raising his eyebrows. "We've all been worried sick about you."

I cocked my head to the side, peering at him. "All?" I questioned.

My mom nodded. "Your friends stopped by," she said, eyes sliding over past my head, to a nightstand on my other side. I hadn't even looked there. "Lots of times."

I turned away from them to glance over at the nightstand. There was a small collection of cards, candies, and a few other things. I decided to look through them later; my parents were more important now.

I opened my mouth to say something, but within seconds I felt my voice blank out, my head spinning, my eyes slowly closing. It felt like being lightheaded for a moment, and in a second my vision blurrily came back.

Except, my head was on my pillow, and my parents weren't there anymore. The nurse was all the way on the other side of the room.

"Wha . . . what?" I breathed to myself, glancing around. What just happened? I was only out for like, a second, right?

The nurse, seeing me wake once again, smiled as she put her clipboard down. Walking over to me, she said, "Ah, I see you're up again. You feeling alright?"

I simply blinked at her, still in shock. ". . . What just happened?"

She glanced at me from over her shoulder as she messed with the bedside equipment. "You fell unconscious. We were afraid that was going to happen."

I just looked at her quizzically, and once she was done adjusting the equipment, she turned to me and smoothed down the front of her skirt. "You're still very weak, Kevin," she explained to me, in that soft, concerned voice. "We were afraid that this was going to happen. And, unfortunately, it might become a frequent thing. That ice water certainly did take its toll on you, and your immune system was not the strongest to begin with."

I listened dully as she explained what was happening to my body right now, about how I'd be passing out, feeling numb sometimes, having a dry throat, and a pounding head. Probably stuff I should care about, but honestly, I could really care less. I kind of just wanted her to shut the fuck up and go away. I didn't care about how much of an expert she was on my damn hypothermia.

"But you'll be out of here before you know it," she finished cheerily, snapping my attention back to her. I offered a brief smile, and with that, she turned back around to attend to her medical priorities.

I sat in my bed, staring at the small peaks at the end of the bed that were my feet. I couldn't feel my toes. It was a pretty weird feeling. The IV monitor beeped softly next to me, which directed my attention towards the nightstand littered with things from my friends. Friends? Yeah, I guess I had acquired one or two over the past few weeks. I scooped up the pile of cards, dumping them on my lap. What remained on the stand were two separate bouquets, a small box of assorted holiday chocolates, and a coffee mug with a note attached inside.

Deciding to read through the cards first, I picked one up, flipping the envelope over to see who it was from. All it said was Stoley on it, so with a shrug, I tore it open to take a look at the card.

Ah. Just upon seeing the cover, I could tell who it was from. The cover image was scribbled over and defaced with sharpie, and a lot of it. Craig. He's the only one that can get away with his cruel sense of humor. If it had been anyone else who said some of the things in his card, you would've blown a top. But you actually laughed at what he wrote.

There was a card from Token, with a crisp $100 bill tucked into the card. Whoa dude. And he wrote like, a paragraph full of his "condolences." Wait, some of it was actually kind of funny. But he was totally giving that money back. Yeah sure, it probably didn't make a difference to Token, but wow a hundred bucks is a lot, no matter what the occasion. Good old Token.

There was a card from Bebe, too. At first, I thought about just tossing it aside, but I felt like that would be pretty inconsiderate. Even if she did have a huge fucking role in this mess, I still felt like I should have some respect. So I opened it and read scanned through it, smelling her eye-watering perfume and blinking stupidly at her pink, bubbly writing. Well, she sounded sincere enough. With a shrug, I tucked the card back into its envelope and put it with the others.

There were some other cards, all from people who I guess had heard about me landing myself in the hospital. A card from Butters, one from Jimmy, a card from Stan, Kyle, and Kenny, and a pair of chopsticks from Cartman. What a racist bastard.

Naturally, there was a card from Heidi. The message inside was simple, flattering, but not without a slight sense of humor. It made me smile, because I could totally imagine her reading it out loud in my head. But it also made me really sad. What did she think about all of this? Obviously what was written in a card wasn't nearly enough for her to explain what was really going on inside her head. I sighed. I wished she was there, so I could talk to her in person. Get a good conversation going, throw a few things out there. And let her know the real fucking reason I was lying in a hospital.

I nimbly put her envelope away, tossing it onto the night stand. I picked up the last card in my lap, one without any writing whatsoever on the envelope. I opened it, knowing that there was only one person left who would give me a card. Biting my lip in frustration, I tore the card out, flipped it open, and began to read.

I bit down harder on my lip with every word, and my eyebrows knitted together furiously. Fuck him. Fuck. Him.

With a scowl, I shoved the card back into the envelope, throwing it down on the nightstand. I let out a angry breath of air, blowing my bangs out of my eyes. I couldn't even believe him.

Wanting to push it out of my head, I picked up a small flower vase, intent on reading the small tag to see who it was from. But as I lifted it, I noticed something soft behind it, and pulled it out to reveal a small toy.

It was a light blue teddy bear, with a silver satin ribbon and beanie pellets in its stomach, with a velvet white nose. I flipped over the tag, to see Heidi marked on it with a happy face and a small heart. I grinned. He was soft, reasonably sized, and my favorite color. I smoothed down the fur on the top of his head before placing him beside me on the bed. I'll definitely have to thank her later.

Turns out the flowers were from both Heidi and Clyde, but a small note was attached that explained how Clyde had picked them out. Which surprised me, because the flowers were actually really neat. It was a Gardenia and Tiger Lily mix, and it smelled relatively pleasant. And they looked cool. I shrugged, placing them carefully back on the night stand. And the huge bouquet behind it was, of course, from my parents. It was filled with a huge assortment of flowers, and it smelled pretty goddamn good. They were cool, sure, but what do I even do with flowers? Keep them in my room until they die? That's sort of depressing. Whatever.

The candies and coffee mug I had mentioned earlier were from Tweek. Inside the mug was a little note that explained his sympathy for me, and that the candies were for my enjoyment while I stayed at the hospital. And inside there was a packet of hot cocoa, that he suggested I asked the nurse to make when I wasn't feeling so hot.

That was pretty cool of him. The mug was light blue with a cubical design in greyscale. And it was impressive, and definitely appealing to my eyes. It reminded me of video games, computers, science, math, everything I thought was cool. Just some cubes that were different shades of grey. Pretty nifty, if you ask me.

With a sigh, I leaned back in the bed. My eyes flickered towards Clyde's card again, and my fingers twitched to grab it again. I hesitated for a minute, wondering if I had judged too harshly the first time around. And, knowing me, I probably had. So with a grumble, I snatched it off the nightstand and opened it up.

Dear Kevin

I feel terrible for saying this, but I don't know what to write in this card. I hope you get better soon, and you can come back to school before Christmas. A lot of people miss you, more than you probably think. And I'm really sorry for everything. Not an ounce of it is your fault.

Like I said, I really have no idea what to say in this dumb card. I want to talk to you in person, I really do, but you've been asleep or unconscious or whatever every time I go to see you. I hope we can talk soon, and maybe you can try to hear me out. I understand if you don't want to though. It's been a hell of a fucking ride for you, and it's all my fault. I'm sorry.

Clyde

I blinked, unnerved by what I had just read. Okay, yeah, it sounded like he really meant it. It wasn't some fake bullshit that he made up on the spot and jotted it down on the card. It was almost like I could actually feel the frustration that he felt when he was trying to write it down.

I closed my eyes, falling back into my pillow. I fumbled with the card, sloppily shoving it back into the envelope and tossing it onto the night stand. I just didn't feel like dealing with anything. This whole situation was shitty and ironic, and I was still having a hard time with believing that I was the one in the middle of it all.

Like, wow. When I actually started thinking about it, there were so many questions. The main one being: what did I even do to get here? Like, choice by choice, all the little events that were seemingly harmless all led up to one giant clusterfuck. All because of who? Was it really all Clyde's fault, like I was telling myself? Or was it just as much my fault?

It was harder than you might think to come to a conclusion. Now, a normal person would probably put a lot of the blame on themselves. But I am not a normal person. I took my time to logically figure this shit out, taking steps to see who's decision was what and which faults led where. And still, I figured that most of it wasn't my fault. My biggest mistake was probably going with the flow of it all, not stopping to think about what I was heading into, and when I would crash. And, well, look where that landed me.

I was frowning grumpily at myself, when the voice of the nurse startled me.

"You've got some wonderful friends," she said quietly, looking up from the small counter at which she was organizing things. "You know that?"

I kept my sigh inside my chest. I really did not want to talk to anyone, especially not this fucking nurse. Eh, she was probably really nice and all, but she caught me when I was wallowing in self-pity and with sharp needles of arrogance digging into my brain. Not a wise choice on her part.

Swallowing a snarky comeback, I asked in reply, "What . . . what do you mean?"

Holy shit.

My throat was really dry. I blinked in surprise at how hoarse and raspy my voice was, and put a hand snugly over my adam's apple. She definitely noticed it too, because she got a cup out and filled it with cold water from tap, walking over and handing it to me.

"Here; drink it in little sips," she instructed as I took the cup from her. I brought it up to my lips, trying to do as she said, but my desert of a mouth really wanted to chug it all down. I just blinked at her from above the rim of the cup as I drank, waiting for her to further explain herself.

"There were two that came back repeatedly," she told me, sitting in a stool that was made just for her, probably to tend to me while I was out or something. She smiled and added, "Besides your parents of course."

I raised an eyebrow and swallowed one last gulp of water before asking, "Really? Who?"

"A boy and a girl," she said, her eyes traveling up to the ceiling as she thought. "You all look about the same age, now that I think about it. They both had brown hair, if I'm recalling this right. Maybe the girl was blonde? I'm sorry, I'm not all too sure if I remember."

"Oh," was all I said, raising the cup back up to my lips and getting ready to finish the whole thing.

Clyde and Heidi, undoubtedly. There was no mistaking it. Besides, who would come to visit me more than once anyway? I guess it made me feel a little better to know that they were genuinely concerned about me, or at least somewhat.

Wait. I narrowed my eyes and stopped drinking, lowering the cup.

"Um. How long have I been unconscious?" I asked, turning to face her. My dad had told me that I had been out for days, but now I wanted an approximation.

"It's been almost a week," she said softly, crossing her legs and tapping her foot patiently. "You took a pretty brutal blow there."

I just nodded, staring at her blankly, eventually finding myself staring into my cup, watching the last few beads of water bounce when I squeezed the cup.

Almost a week. Nearly seven days. And both Heidi and Clyde had come back several times to see me?

". . . O-okay, thanks," I murmured, drumming my fingers on the neck of the cup. I gazed down at the light blue blanket I was resting in, not really wanting to make eye contact with her. I kind of just wanted her to not be so close. Still in the room, but not sitting next to me like she was my grandma or something.

She nodded. "Don't be shy to ask if you need anything," she said with a sweet smile before sliding off the chair and going back to her precious little medical cabinet.

I bit down on my lip. I wanted them to be here, now. I wanted to talk to Heidi, let her know I was okay, for the most part. I also really wanted to check in and see how she was doing, because I really hoped she wasn't deeply affected by this. But I felt a sharp stab of guilt in my side, because I realized that of course it had affected her deeply. If it hadn't, she wouldn't have come here multiple times, wouldn't have left the thoughtful gifts. And I felt like it was just part of her personality to feel like she was to blame for this, with her insecurity and whatnot. As all the realization set in, I only wanted more and more for her to be there. Tell her that it was okay? I guess it would take a few times of saying that to finally convince her. Tell her that absolutely none of this was her fault? Definitely. I was going to pound that into her head, no matter how many times I had to try and pull the feeling of responsibility out of her.

My head fell back against the pillow and I gave a loud, heavy sigh. I really wanted her there. Fuck. I guess I'd just have to wait for the next time she stopped by. Hopefully I was awake, or conscious, for that matter.

Clyde . . .

I closed my eyes, my fingers fidgeting in frustration. Part of me was afraid to find out how I would react when I talked to him. I figured that I would probably explode on him. Which is likely what he was expecting. But, as an initial reaction, I felt like that really just wasn't fair, at all. There was something clawing away inside of me that was screaming at my dumb, ignorant brain to give him a second chance. But everything else was getting pissed at just the thought of him, and I knew that I didn't have it in me to push those urges down and listen to that desperate little conscience. I grumbled at myself.

I also really wanted him to be there. And maybe try to get things figured out, after I verbally beat his ass. Because it was inevitable that a beating was going to take place, no matter how hard I tried to hold myself back. Because there were a lot of angry fucking words inside of me that weren't gonna cut like warm butter. But I was really a mess, and who knows what else was inside me that I needed to get out. Sadness? Frustration? Possibly a little empathy? Bleh, I didn't want to think about it. It would come out naturally if it was important.

I had just woken up, and already things were getting fucking frustrating. I sighed, leaned over the edge of the bed, and gingerly picked up the mug from Tweek.

"Uh, excuse me," I called, not sure how to address the nurse. I lifted the mug and took out the cocoa packet and asked, "Do you think you could heat up some water?"

It might be a long day.


I had sat around doing nothing for a long time, because I couldn't do anything anyway. Eventually the nurse—who turned out to be named Sandra—asked me if I wanted to turn the tv on, and I jumped on the opportunity. Because I was just sitting there rotting in my own shitty thoughts.

My episode of Ellen was interrupted with a knock at the door. My eyes flickered towards it, briefly wondering who it could be. I had no idea when visiting hours were, so for all I knew, it could be anyone from my parents to the doctor. I didn't really know which was worse.

The nurse, er, Sandra, shuffled over to the door, peeking through the blinds to take a quick peek at who it was. She offered me an excited smile as she pulled the door open, and in the doorway were two familiar figures.

Heidi and Clyde shuffled in, saying hi to Sandra in a casual way, leading me to assume that they were at least acquainted by now. She did mention that they had come in several times before, right?

I watched, speechless, as Sandra closed the door behind them and they took a few steps in, looking everywhere except for me. I think they probably assumed I was still unconscious or something. Heidi ducked her head to unsling her messenger bag from around her shoulder, and Clyde stepped around her backside to start walking over to my bedside.

And that's where he froze.

When he finally looked up in the direction of my hospital bed, my eyes met his, and he stopped in his tracks. I felt frozen, too, not quite sure how to react. He blinked at me, and I lifted my hand to wave at him, but I was caught off guard by a gasp and a loud thump.

It was Heidi, who also saw me wake up, gasping and dropping her bag into one of the arm chairs pushed against the wall, where my parents had been sitting. Instead of being a statue, she quickly pushed past Clyde and came up to my bedside, tossing her scarf over her shoulder.

"Kevin," she breathed, standing over me, a smile spreading over her lips. "…Kevin!" she repeated happily, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

I laughed a little. "Yeah Heidi, it's me." I sat up a little, loosely folding my arms in my lap and giving her a helpless shrug. "Stuck in bed for a little longer, but at least I'm up."

She opened her mouth to say something more, but then froze for a moment, blinking at me. Then in a flash, she turned around and ran back to get Clyde, who stumbled along once he was being pulled along by the arm. Soon, they were both at my bedside, but Heidi took a tiny step back and watched Clyde and I with anxious eyes.

I eyed him for a moment, and I think we both felt like looking away. It was…weird, you know? But, I also think we both knew it was never going to work if we didn't get past this wall.

I held up my fist. "Hey Clyde," I said, smiling at him. "Long time no see."

He hesitated for a moment before feebly smiling back, raising his fist as well and bumping it to mine. "Yeah, long time no see," he agreed, both of us making explosions with our hands before he lowered his back to his side, and mine went to rest in the covers next to me. Then, his smile faltered, and suddenly he looked like he had a lump in his throat the size of a goat. He looked rather pale as he started to say, "Kevin, I'm really sorr—"

"Hey," I said briskly, shaking my head and cutting him off short. "Don't worry about it. It's okay."

For a minute, he looked like he was satisfied with that, ready to take me up on that and hope to go back to being friends. Which would've been…alright, I guess. I mean, I was still majorly upset about all this, and going back to just being friends would be kind of a challenge. Wait, I mean like, going back to being friends in general. Not like, being anything else? Argh, never mind, I set myself up for that one.

But, turns out he decided to swallow his pride, and he gave a dismissive shake of his head. "No, it's not okay. Come on, don't say that. It's a huge deal, and I wanna…make things right with you," he said, looking me directly in the eyes.

And, to be honest, I didn't expect that from him. And also to be honest, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest, even though it meant confronting him and having a talk with him later about it. But still? I knew it would be a step in the right direction, and I guess I was just feeling really grateful for that.

I smiled weakly. "Alright, so do I," I admitted with a sheepish shrug. "But some other time, okay? Like, when I'm not in the hospital."

He smirked. "Okay, sounds good," he laughed, his eyes finally not looking so desolate and concerned. And my smile widened a bit, too. How could it not?

Suddenly, Heidi clasped her hands together and intervened, stepping in closer, standing next to Clyde and turning to talk to me. Right. This is just as important to her as it is to Clyde.

"Ack, I'm just so glad you're up now," she said joyfully, looking like she was having a hard time restraining herself and keeping her bouncy energy in. I could tell she wanted to just give me a huge bear hug, or at least shake my shoulders and ruffle my hair and squish my cheeks or something. But that was NOT going to happen any time soon. I guess I had to prepare myself for when I was able to leave the hospital.

I shrugged. "I'm glad I'm up, too," I said with a laugh. Although the pounding headache and dizziness really wasn't my cup of tea, it probably beat sitting in bed unconscious for another day. It could only get better from here, right? Then I leaned over a bit to pick up one of the cards on the nightstand next to me, opening it up and playing around with it a bit. "Also, waking up to all this was pretty cool. I didn't expect this much stuff. I…I didn't expect any of it, to be honest."

Heidi clicked her tongue, looking at me questioningly and shifting the weight on her feet. "Why wouldn't you expect anything?" she asked, seeming honestly confused. "By the next day, people were dying to come in here to see you."

This made me more confused than she was, because since when did I have so many concerned friends? And did that mean the whole school knew about this? "So does that mean…everyone knows?" I asked warily, glancing over the cards and presents I got, and then thinking about people who wanted to come in and visit me. A sort of intimidating thought, to be honest. It was strange to think of myself as suddenly the buzz of the school for falling into a frozen lake and getting hypothermia or whatever it was that I had.

Heidi gave a weak shrug, knowing that the real news would probably be more or less unsettling for me. "Yeah, everyone kinda knows, Kevin. You know it's a small town, news spreads so fast here." Then she looked up from the ground and eyed me with a bright smile, grabbing Clyde's arm enthusiastically. "But don't worry! You don't have any weirdo rumors going around the school as to why you fell in the lake. Clyde and I took care of that."

I looked back and forth at them both, smirking. Of course. What loyal friends they were. "Aha. So what's the story behind me falling into Stark's Pond in the middle of December?" I asked with a soft laugh, looking to both of them for an answer.

Clyde decided to opt in first, which led me to assume that he was the one who got a fake story to go around in the first place. I briefly wondered if even Heidi knew the real story of what happened…but before I could think too long on it, he was filling my mind with his own words and pushing those thoughts out. "To everyone in Middle Park High, and, uh, your parents, you were pushed back and slipped, which made you fall into the lake. Pushed by me. I've been sort of taking a bit of heat, but it's alright."

I just blinked at him, not quite sure what to say. So he practically told the truth, just leaving out why exactly he pushed me. And he was taking blame for it all? I felt my heart beat speed up a bit, my face getting warm with a pinch of panic. I would have assumed that he would've came up with something ridiculous, something that people wouldn't question, and definitely something that people couldn't blame on anyone. But no, he straight out told the truth, and he was under fire for being the one to land me in the hospital.

"Crazy story, huh?" Heidi said, her tone holding a bit of sympathy. "But Clyde's got your back. We both do."

I offered her a smile, which could be shared to Clyde too. So that obviously means that she doesn't know that Clyde's "lie" was actually the truth. So she thinks that something else happened, something else that may be more or less subtle than him So…will either of us ever tell her? She was hinting towards me that she figured Clyde had a little man crush on me or whatever, and I think she was trying to get out of me whether I felt the same way or not…

Well, all I can say is that I know Heidi is a kind of crafty girl. She probably has her suspicions.

"Ha, yeah. Pretty crazy," I agreed, still eyeing Clyde. And just wondering why on earth he would take the blame for all of this. Was he really trying to get that big of a point across to me? This was something that was totally and definitely unsolvable in a hospital room. Also, my head was still foggy and I wasn't ready to be logical about things yet. Better to discuss things with him after the doctor let me leave.

Well, I think so, at least. He knew I was eyeing him, questions swimming in my eyes, and there were many answers in his. To be honest, it looks like he was holding a wall of words back, and the only thing he wanted to do was take a sledgehammer to that wall and let everything out. He probably would do it, too, right then and there, but I was giving him a look now that simply said, don't. And he knew what the look was. Hoho, trust me, he and the majority of the South Park young adult population knew that look, because it's how I always looked.

So, taking it as a hint, he decided to be a smart kid and change the subject. He dug into his pocket and fished out the keys to his SUV, jingling them in his fingers. "Me and Heidi have our own ride here, so we can drive around to wherever. Do you want us to like, get anything?" he offered a bit feebly, like he didn't know how to ask a fucking question.

I shrugged, looking dully at the two of them. "I don't think you guys can bring me any food. I'm probably only supposed to eat what they feed me."

"We could get a few things from your house?" Heidi suggested, raising her palm into the air and looking at me. "Movies, games, teddy bear…"

"Ha ha," I laughed sarcastically, looking at her with a grin. "Yes, I very much need my teddy bear. Especially when I have this—" I held up the light blue teddy bear that she had apparently gotten for me, "—little guy to keep me company." She just smiled, giving a small laugh, and then reaching over to fondly pet the bear's tummy.

"Well she's right, we could bring you some movies," Clyde added in. "And visiting hours don't end until nine tonight, so we could sit here with you and watch one or two." Heidi looked up from the bear at his suggestion, giving a few curt nods in agreement.

"Yeah, we could do that," she said, looking at him and then back to me.

I tossed my hands up; I was all for it. "Sure, why not? Bring over something funny, I feel like we could all use a few good laughs right now."


So Clyde and Heidi came back shortly after, bringing along a few things from my house that they figured would be nice for me to have. Aside from a movie, they brought me my DS, as well as my little pack of games. My iPod and cellphone were included as well, and I couldn't thank them enough for bringing me the extra stuff. I also complimented them on how well they knew me. I mean come on, they brought me my DS.

So we popped in the movie, which happened to be Napoleon Dynamite, which was a great choice because it definitely lifted all of our moods, creating a light atmosphere in general. They pulled up two small arm chairs that had been lined against the wall and placed one on either side of my bed, and we watched the movie like that. The nurse, Sandra, was feeling generous enough to leave us alone by that point, but she gave Heidi a small buzzer that was to be pressed if anything happened to me while she was out. And Clyde had snuck in a couple of bags of popcorn, so he left the room once to scope out a staff lounge of some sort, and came back in a few minutes with two hot bags of popcorn, a triumphant grin on his face. Me and Heidi shared one, since neither of us was really all that hungry, and I didn't know if I should be eating it anyway.

But of course, throughout the movie there was a lot of talking, and definitely a lot of laughing. Like I said, the mood was really light. It was a good way to end the first day of my waking up, and it was probably the first time that I had really felt genuinely happy in a while. After all that had happened recently, kicking back and watching a movie seemed like paradise. And it kind of was.

We ran our mouths until they were numb, and I think deep inside, all three of us were equally glad to be sharing a moment like this with each other. Because I know I'm not the only one who's been in turmoil throughout all this. And I felt like we were just a band of three friends, and that was it. Three happy friends.

By the end of the movie, I was nearly asleep, which Heidi and Clyde said might be because of the medications they were pumping through me. But I laughed and said it was probably just because I had such demanding friends who didn't know when to shut up. We were laughing one last time and they were pushing the chairs back, getting their things together, and preparing to leave for the night. Sandra came back in just as they were heading out the door, and seeing that I was ready to pass out from lack of energy, got me set up for the night and soon she was out of the room as well.

There were a few lazy thoughts drifting in and out of my head as I was falling asleep, and I can't remember half of them to save my life. But I do remember just having this overall feeling of content. Not really happiness, I don't think, but just…content. Things seemed to be heading back in the right direction, and it made me feel at ease. It could've been that I was just tired out of my mind, because I still had a long upcoming talk with my parents, with Heidi, and definitely with Clyde. Normally, I probably would've been stressing and fretting about it. But maybe I was just done with feeling worked up, and decided that I had enough of that to last me the rest of my life. Time to not give too much of a fuck for a while.


Ah, the day had finally come. The day I could leave Hell's Pass and actually go back home and sleep in my own flawless bed. Funny how you don't realize how much you love something until it's gone. Also funny how people tend to say that about important people that they lose, rather than their bed. Oh well. You know me.

So it took a while for me to actually be checked out, which annoyed the shit out of me. I had already gone a bit stir crazy from being locked up in the hospital, and waiting patiently at the reception desk for paper work to get done was just getting on my nerves. I was hopping from foot to foot, just wondering when the heck I could actually walk through the doors and get on home.

Going home meant several things, actually. On the plus side, it meant being in my room, being with my things, being with my mom's cooking. Because let me tell you, hospital food gets really old, really fast. Even a piece of toast from my mom would be a godsend. But, it also meant there would be a lot of talking to do with lots of people. I was anticipating it, but that didn't mean that I wanted to face it. The steps back to my dad's car were almost a bit reluctant, but after a little while I started kicking myself about it and told myself to suck it up. Because it would be better in the end if I got the big things out of the way.

On the way home, my parents kept trying to stir up conversation, but it just wasn't working all that well. I'm sure they each had a million questions, but I doubted they wanted to spring them all on me at once, which was totally fine with me. But I was kind of wondering, if they don't ask them now, will they ever? Because my parents are like that, and that's why I am, too. Once the spur of the moment is gone, we really don't try to look for it again.

So they didn't want to ask too many questions, and I didn't feel like answering the ones that they did manage to poke me with. It was a lose-lose situation, really.

Once we got home it was a little less quiet, but barely. Mainly my parents just told me I should rest and take it easy for the day, and if I needed anything to just ask. My mom was going to start cooking lunch, and my dad was going to go back to work after he ate. I was guessing that it was going to be a day with a pretty low buzz, and maybe I would just lounge in my room for a while. And, that's what I did. Once my parents made sure I was well situated, I went upstairs and threw myself onto my bed, breathing in deeply and just lying there for a while.

I tried not to let any thoughts in, since I had been thinking way too many thoughts in the past million years. I just laid there, breathing in the familiar smell of my bed and feeling the soft blanket warm up my cheeks. It was really nice to be back home.

I eventually slid off of my bed and shuffled nimbly around my room, wondering if I should get on the computer or put in a movie or maybe play some games. As I smelled my mom's cooking wafting up from the kitchen, I decided that maybe popping in a movie would be the thing to do, so I could just pause it and go downstairs when she called for lunch.

My fingers hovered over my Star Wars box set like it was second instinct, and I pulled it out and briefly debated which episode I should watch. It wasn't really that hard, since I liked the Original Trilogy much better. I decided that it would just have to be Return of the Jedi, since it was my favorite and all I wanted to do was indulge myself. Let's be honest here; at this point, I kind of deserved a little down time.

About half an hour into the movie, my mom called me down for lunch, and we had some top-notch fried rice that she had made. She laughed when she said that I probably shouldn't be eating such greasy food, but she knew I liked it so she made it for me. Soon after, my dad left to go back to work, and I helped my mom a bit with the dishes before heading back up to my room. There were a few points where I felt like she really wanted to say something to me or ask me something, but then decided against it. I gave her somewhat of an apologetic look as I left, but I didn't feel all that bad because I was pretty grateful that she didn't talk to me much. I just didn't want to go through all that yet.

When I went back up to my room, I saw the red alert light on my phone flashing, so I snatched it up off my desk on my way back to my bed. I flopped back down into the blankets and resumed my movie and then unlocked my phone, taking a look at the new message.

It was from Clyde. Eh. He asked if I was home, so I waited a good five minutes before replying with a yes. And also asking why. It was too soon Clyde, too soon; I didn't want to talk to people yet. It wouldn't hurt him to give me some time to actually breathe in the air of my own house for a few hours, would it?

But, he was speedy with his reply, and within a couple of minutes, I got a text from him asking if he could come over. And that's when I let out a loud groan and let my head drop into my pillow with a flustered sigh. Dammit, Clyde.

However, I guess I'm really terrible at trying to be assertive, because before I knew it, he was sending me a text saying he was going to leave the house soon. Oops, I was supposed to tell him to keep his sorry ass at home. Spending time in the hospital must've really softened me up, because I think normally, I would've been able to tell him no, fuck no, right off the bat. Oh, how things have changed.

So since I'm too lazy to do anything, I called the house phone from my cell, just so my mom would answer and I could tell her that Clyde was coming over soon. I asked her if she could send him up when he got here, and she said she would. What a nice lady. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually related to her.

For maybe fifteen minutes, I laid in bed with lazy eyes glued to the screen, watching what used to be the movie that always had me on the edge of my seat. And now it was just…eh. Sad to say that I had no other way to describe it. And when the doorbell rang, hardly an ounce of excitement stirred inside of me, and it was only when I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs that I felt despair growing in my gut. I heaved a heavy sigh and slid off my bed, shuffling over to the door so I could be there to open it when he knocked.

I actually didn't even wait for the knock, I just opened it up to see him standing there, hand raised and ready to tap on my door. He hastily put his hand back down at his side and offered me one of his sheepish smiles and quirky shrugs.

"Hey," he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Can I uh, come in?" he asked, eyes glancing past my shoulder and into my room.

I hesitated for a moment before taking a few steps back, opening up my door wide enough for him to slip in. "Mhm," was all I said as I stepped aside and watched him walk past me, into my room.

Before, when he had come over, he went to my bed or sat at my computer, or turned on the tv or something. Kind of just treated the place like it was his own, if you know what I mean. But not this time. This time, he walked into my room, stood in the middle, and waited there for me to close the door and face him.

So I did.

I gently shut the door behind me, turned around, and took a few steps closer to him, eyeing him as I crossed my arms over my chest. He knew it was time for serious talk, and damn right I knew it too. I waited patiently for him to talk first.

"…Um, can we sit down maybe?" he asked feebly, and I could see his hands squirming nervously in the pockets of his jacket.

I shrugged. "Do we need to?" I asked bluntly. '

He stared at me for a few moments, looking like he was at an utter loss for words. Then he sighed, his shoulders slumped, and he blinked at me with a defeated look.

"No, we don't have to," he said. "But I think we should. This could be a long conversation."

Now, I don't really know why, but when he said that, it made me smile. A pretty genuine smile, if I do say so myself. Maybe it's because it meant he knew that there was a long bridge to be repaired before everything could be okay again. And that he knew what he was in for, what he had on his plate, and that he was going to have to go to certain lengths to fix it. And that in its self was enough to set a good cornerstone for the bridge building.

I nodded. "Alright Clyde, I'll sit down. Hit me with your best shot."

He smiled back, albeit a little weakly, and then we both sat on the edge of my bed, turning the volume of the tv down so we could hear each other without raising our voices too loud.

Our conversation started off slow and hesitant, and there was a lot of tension in the air. I think we both caught pretty good wind of it. But gradually the tension ebbed away, and things were spilling out of our mouths faster than either of us could keep count. It was sort of like a mixture of ranting and blubbering, but it was actually some pretty deep stuff. It was at that point where things were getting a bit overdramatic, and every statement made was talked about in great depth. It was basically a huge feelings jam, and by the end of it, there were things that were said that we promised would never slip past the walls of my room.

Basically, we both apologized extensively. A lot of it was from Clyde, which was alright with me because as you know, I thought a lot of it was his fault anyway. But as he said some of the things that he did, I started feeling pretty guilty, and I decided that it was time for me to fess up, too. And I have to admit, I did feel like a huge weight was lifted off of my chest after I added my word into his ramblings.

It also made me feel a lot better to hear everything I wanted to hear. I know that sounds selfish, but I guess all I'm trying to say is that his apology lived up to—and even exceeded—my expectations. He apologized for ever getting me mixed up in something so big and so ridiculous, and for landing me in the spot I was in now. He apologized for being a horrible friend, and keeping so many thoughts and secrets from me. He even apologized for smaller, more specific things, like making me upset on several occasions, being rash at the dance, and most importantly, pushing me on the icy bank and into the water.

But then, he apologized for something that made me a little upset. He said he was sorry for feeling the way he did. When he said that, I lifted an eyebrow and peered at him.

"…What?" was all I asked, not sure how else to go about clearing up my confusion. I didn't want to ask him angrily, because I didn't know if it was something to get angry at just yet.

He glanced at his knees, thinking a little bit before replying. "I dunno, my feelings are stupid. And I'm sorry they are. And I'm sorry that you had to deal with them."

It was one of the saddest things I'd probably ever heard, because really, who apologizes for their feelings? It wasn't sad in a pathetic way, but it was just sad to see how he had to feel like that about himself. And that's when the realization started sinking in. The realization that this was…just as crazy for him as it was for me. That's when I really started to feel selfish.

"Hey, look," I began with a slight shake of my head. "Don't apologize for that. You can't control what you feel, and it's not your fault."

"But that's dumb," he retorted, still trying to put himself at fault.

"Yeah, it is dumb," I agreed. "But there are some things that just don't make sense, y'know? Some things that can't be helped."

He looked down at the ground, chewing things over in his mind before talking again. It took a little while, but that was okay. It was nice to see him being patient for once, being rational about things. "So…you're not mad?"

I stared at him for a little bit, but then I just had to laugh. I laughed and slapped a hand to my forehead, and he looked up at me questioningly, maybe worried that I had gone mad or something.

"Actually, I'm really pissed. You can't get off the hook that easily," I said airily, letting out one last laugh.

"Right," he murmured, offering a shy and dumbfounded smile. "That was a stupid thing to ask."

I shrugged. "Nah, it wasn't that stupid. Because even though I'm mad, I'm trying not to be."

He lifted an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I dunno," I began, rubbing my hands together and letting my gaze drift elsewhere. "I don't want to be mad, so I'm trying not to be. Because I know a lot of this was my fault, and also I didn't realize how tough this was for you, too. So being mad is something that I need to get over."

His smile widened just a bit and there was a flash of that familiar comical glint in his hazel eyes. "Yeah. Guess so. There's a few things I need to get over, too."

Then he let out a loud sigh and in a second had let himself fall backwards onto my bed, making it bounce a little. He closed his eyes and loosely clasped his hands over his chest, and then stretched his legs out.

"…This was a good talk," I said quietly after a minute of silence. I looked at him over my shoulder, scooting sideways just a little bit. "I'm glad you came over."

"Hm," he hummed briefly, twiddling his thumbs. "I'm glad I came over, too. I think I'm a lot different now."

He didn't offer any other explanation to that, even when I waited for a little while. I thought he was going to explain himself, or go on a rant and run his mouth like he always does. But then again, I guess he just said he was different now. Maybe he wasn't so chatty. Maybe he listened to other people a little more? Maybe he actually thought before he said things. Oh, maybe I should just ask him so I could find out for sure.

"Different?" was all I said, hoping that was enough for him to give a broad answer.

But he didn't really.

"Yeah, different. Thanks." He said it in a calm voice, his eyes closed the whole time, still with a small smile.

I looked at him for a little bit longer, and then left it at that. Maybe we could talk about it later. Or maybe I would find out as time went by. As I looked away from him, I smiled to myself. Now that I thought about it, I was a lot different too.

I think eventually we would come to a better understanding of each other.

It had definitely been a good talk.


EPILOGUE

I walked into school on the first day back from winter break with a spring in my step. I was in good spirits, to say the least. People passed by, people who all looked the same, and I wondered if they noticed me looking any different. I wondered, but I didn't care.

I walked down the halls, seeing all kinds of different things. Happy, excited, sad, lonely, nervous, tired, blank. All things I knew how to identify now; all things I had felt.

Winter break had been a really busy time for me. I was almost with either Clyde or Heidi, or both at the same time. We occupied ourselves with so many things that it was hard to keep track of them all, but I still remembered every last minute of it. We went Christmas shopping, for friends, family, and each other. We drove around to go to different places that were decorated for the season, and had snowball fights and made snow angels and watched snow fall. We convinced my parents to let us decorate my house, since we usually only put the few bare festive decorations each year. This time, I worked with Heidi and Clyde to put up lights outside my house, a homemade wreath on the door, and tacky little Christmas knick-knacks all around the house. We baked tons of batches of cookies, and sang loud Christmas carols as we walked down the streets in the evening. Clyde kept taking pictures of it all with his phone; a number of which were of embarrassing faces.

And on Christmas, we exchanged presents. It was hosted at Clyde's house, since it was the biggest and the nicest, and there was a fire going the whole time, while Clyde's mom made us fresh cocoa. I had gotten Heidi a set of bows for her hair, a soft scarf, and a box of expensive organic chocolates that I found at a candy shop in Denver. Clyde got her a set of really pretty earrings, a loaded giftcard to Harbucks Coffee, and wrote a letter that he quickly instructed her to read later when she was home. And, being the nice girl that she was, she put one of the bows in her hair, wrapped the scarf around her neck, tried a chocolate, and put her new earrings in right off the bat. It was a nice ensemble, I have to admit.

I wanted to open my presents last, but Heidi and Clyde both egged me on to open mine next. So I did, and they were pretty great. Heidi got me a thin sweatshirt with a stormtrooper print on the front, and it was in light blue; my favorite color. It didn't even look that geeky, much to my pleasure. There was an assortment of seasonal candies and chocolate, and she even managed to pick me up one of those chocolate oranges, the kind that you smash against the counter to break into slices. And those are like, the bomb dot com. There was also a candle in a pristine glass holder, and the tag on it read Ocean Breeze.

"A candle?" I asked as I pulled it out, examining it and holding the glass up to the light to watch it glimmer.

"Yeah," she began, shifting a bit nervously in her seat and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "They're just supposed to be really relaxing and stuff. I thought maybe you could light it in your room sometimes. And get rid of that nasty teenage boy smell."

I snorted, putting the candle back in the box. "I think you mean the smell of a man," I retorted, laughing a little. But then I smiled at her, because that was pretty thoughtful. I was looking forward to using it. "Thanks, Heidi."

She nodded as I neatly put her presents aside, and instead took Clyde's in my hand. It was a lot smaller than Heidi's, which got me really curious. I shook it gently, eyeing him and his eager face as I did so. But I really had no idea what could be inside.

I took in a breath and tore away the wrapping paper, then pulled apart the flaps of the box underneath. The thing on top was a black faux leather box, and Heidi looked as intrigued as I did when I pulled it out. I cautiously opened it, and when I saw what was inside, my eyes widened.

"…Whoa," I breathed, admiring what was placed inside the box. A black watch, accented with my favorite shade of blue, as well as white. I took it out from its velvet cushion and held it at my fingertips, watching the face shimmer in the light. I looked at him, kind of lost at what to say. It was a really nice watch.

"Uh, do you like it?" he asked hopefully, his eyes darting back and forth from me to the watch.

"God, yeah I do," I replied quickly, and then seeing him relax a little. "I just…don't know what to say. This is a great watch, dude. I…I like it a lot."

I grinned as I undid the metal clasp and slipped it around my wrist, then fastened the clasp again and rotated my wrist so he and Heidi could see how nicely it reflected the light. The metallic black finish just looked too cool. I've never wanted to wear a watch so badly in my life.

He gazed at the watch for a moment, then at me, and I could tell that he was happy that I liked his gift. But then, he jumped and quickly said, "There's more! Open the rest of it."

"Oh, yeah," I said, going back to focus on the box instead of the watch. There was a tin of peppermint chocolate squares, which made me smile because I told him that those were one of my favorite Christmas time foods. They weren't going to last too long. And lastly, there was a blank CD disk sitting at the bottom of the box. I pulled it out and examined it, and saw that it was labeled on the other side.

"Dumb motherfuckers," I read. I looked up at him, letting out a laugh. "What the heck is this?"

He drummed his fingers on his chin, lifting his eyebrows in amusement. "Find out for yourself, maybe?" he suggested, eyes flickering towards the DVD player under his TV.

I glanced at him, and then Heidi, who only shrugged at me with a look that said, go for it! So I stood up and took the disk out of its case, popping it into his DVD player and letting him turn on the TV.

It took a few moments for something to actually show up, but when it finally did, I stood back and let out a good laugh. There was a picture of all three of us, taken at Stark's pond, with the words "dumb motherfuckers" edited onto it in a kiddish rainbow font. Then, pictures started following the title slide, and before I knew it, we had a lovely slideshow playing for us, with some choice music playing in the background. It was a collage of the many pictures that Clyde had taken with his phone on our adventures, and it was great. Some of them were of Heidi, some of me, some of two of us, and occasionally some of all three of us.

"Clyde, this rocks," I said, watching the pictures transition from one to the next, all of which were wanting to make me laugh. I turned around to see him and Heidi peering over the back of the couch, watching the slideshow and now watching me. "This—" I said, pointing to the TV with the hand that displayed my watch, "—is a fantastic present."

He ran a hand through his hair, giving me a casual shrug as I walked back over to them. "I just thought that maybe something a little sentimental would be a cool thing."

"Well, it was good thinking," I told him, teasingly giving his shoulder a push as I walked past him, back to the chair I was sitting in. We decided that letting the slideshow play while we hung out was the ideal thing to do, since it provided music as well as something to laugh about.

Now it was his turn to open presents, and Clyde got some pretty nice things. Heidi bought him two dress shirts, in soft colors that she thought would bring out his eyes. She also got him some plush socks, and a sturdy-looking wide toothed comb.

"Is this supposed to be like, some kind of message?" he asked her with a laugh once he looked through all of it. "If you think I should dress better, you could just tell me."

She smiled, giving him a shrug. "It's not a message, I just thought you might appreciate some nice clothes!" she exclaimed, laughing a little bit too. "Besides, you haven't looked through all of it yet."

Clyde raised his eyebrows and searched through the box one more time, and then I saw a grin spread across his face as he reached down to the bottom of the box and pulled out a small black card.

"Heidi, you're the best," he said with a smirk, flipping the card over and skimming the back. "Twenty bucks to Taco Bell. Flipping sweet."

"I try," she said with a grin, jokingly rolling her eyes.

Then he moved on to my present, swiftly untying the ribbon and lifting the lid off the box. I hadn't put much time into making the inside packaging look pretty, so everything was exposed once the box was open. The first thing he pulled out was a dark gray glass, filled up with liquid and labeled with a metal plaque. He held it up in front of his face to read the plaque, and then popped the top off and held the nozzle under his nose.

"Shit, this smells really good," he said in surprise, lowering it again and putting the cap back on.

"We thought so too," I agreed with a smirk, slightly admitting that it was both me and Heidi that had picked out the cologne, not just me. He glanced up at both of us, offering a brief smile as Heidi gave a quick shrug.

He started laughing as he pulled out the next thing, which was a box of buttermilk pancake mix. "No more flatcakes," he joked, flipping the box over and skimming the backside.

I nodded in agreement, also laughing. "No more flatcakes."

There was one last thing that was resting at the bottom of the box. A CD, one that he pulled out slowly and with much interest. It was Torches, the album by Foster the People that had his…favorite song on it. I had stuck a small silver ribbon on it, and he tapped it gingerly with his finger.

"You got me the CD," he murmured, flipping it over and looking over the song listing on the back. He hit is gently into the palm of his hand and looked up at me, cocking his head to the side. "Why?"

He didn't ask it in an angry or cautious voice; it was purely curiosity. But it still made me a tad nervous. Shifting in my seat, I replied, "I dunno. I guess because you really like some of the songs on there."

He smirked, and then let out a soft, good-natured laugh. "Yeah. It's a pretty good album, isn't it?" he smiled as he put it back into the box, and then slid the whole thing off of his lap and at his side. Heidi gave me a slightly devious look as he said that, and I quickly averted my eyes and pushed down the urge to tackle her to the floor. God, sometimes it's so overwhelming to have friends.

When presents were set aside, we all got up to have some cookies, and just sit around and talk and play games and watch movies. It wasn't awkward for anyone in the least; at least I didn't think so. I think in time I just stopped worrying about all that stuff, and just focusing on having fun with them.

And it had carried through like that all the way to New Year's Eve, where the three of us had went out to Denver with a bunch of other kids from our school. It was really like a huge party, except we all got food and afterwards, everyone split up. Heidi, Clyde, and I said bye to our other friends and headed out to cruise around the city and see if there was a nice place we could chill and watch the city lights. We settled with Confluence Park, and laid down in a grassy patch that overlooked the buildings, a perfect place to wait for the countdown.

It was definitely cold, so Heidi said that she wanted to go get herself a coffee from a café she had spotted a little ways away. I had given her some money to buy me something hot, too, since my ass was ready to freeze off. So, she said she would make it quick, and then she was off.

And that's when it happened.

"Hey Kevin," Clyde began casually, putting his hands behind him and stretching his legs out in the soft grass. "Do you have any new year's resolutions?"

I thought about it for a minute, looking up to the dark sky as I did. "Um, not really," I replied, turning to him and cocking my head to the side. "Why, do you?"

He tilted his head and leaned his cheek against his shoulder, gently knocking the tips of his feet together and scrunching his face up a little. "I have a couple, I guess."

"…Wanna tell me?" I asked with a shrug.

"Hmm," he hummed, chewing on his thoughts. "Well, one is to get good grades. That's probably something you've probably never had to work for, huh?"

I started laughing, mainly because he was right; and we both knew it. "Yeah, that's something that's already built into my Asian genetics. I was born with straight As."

He chuckled, saying, "Yeah, figures." Then he slid his hands to his sides and laid down in the grass, lying flat out and looking up at the sky, glancing down every now and then to see the city. I kept sitting up, drawing my knees close to my chest and letting out a sigh that condensed into fog as it escaped my mouth. Hopefully Heidi would come back with a coffee soon.

There was a minute of silence as we both sat there, him lying down and me scrunched into a loose ball while hugging my knees. The wind had died down a little, especially after the gust that was in the streets when we were walking around with other friends earlier. Now it was calmer, but oddly, it felt colder.

"So is that it?" I asked. "Good grades?"

He let out a soft sigh, furrowing his eyebrows a little and shoving his hands into his pockets. "Well no, there's other things," he murmured. He waited he waited a few minutes before letting out a quick breath and saying, "Hey dude? There's actually another resolution that I have, but I like, really need your help to accomplish it."

I cocked my head to the side, raising an eyebrow. If anything, I thought he would need my help with his grades. But, I guess there was something else he needed my help with. I was briefly thinking, what do I even have to offer? Book smart, but that isn't what he needed help with.

Um, video games?

"Yeah, what is it?" I asked, curious now to see what he needed me for. Something probably really stupid.

He turned his head to look at me, but I could barely see the features of his face in the darkness. I saw the muted white of his teeth as he opened his mouth to reply, and at first, his words went right over my head.

Then my face went red, because it was really stupid.

"Do you think you could maybe consider possibly dating me?" he asked, and I think I saw him wince a little, like he was afraid I was going to hit him and bash his head into the ground without a moment's warning.

"I-I, uh…what?" I stuttered, just as shaken as he was.

"Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea," he groaned, letting out a sigh of defeat.

"No, I'm just…surprised. Really surprised."

"For real? Come on, I thought you saw this coming. Like, has it not been obvious?"

I smiled a little and hunched forward, resting my chin on my forearm. "Nah, it's actually been super obvious. I guess I just didn't try to make a big deal out of it."

His eyebrows raised a little, and his eyes looked hard at me. I could just barely see them, reflecting the soft glow from the city across the river. So I shrugged.

"Sure, why not." I flashed him a grin.

His eyes opened wide, and he sat up a little. "Wait, what? Really?"

I laughed a little bit, peering down at him as he scrambled around to sit up.

"Yeah, really." I held out my hand so he could pull himself up, and he cautiously grasped onto my wrist and hauled himself into a sitting position. "What's the hurt in trying? Maybe it hasn't been as obvious, but for real, I thought you saw this coming. Me saying yes, I mean."

He smiled and then punched my arm, and we chilled for the rest of the night like it had never happened. Not in a way that felt like we were ignoring it, but in a way that made us feel like we could still be totally great bros no matter what happens. Like, even though he just asked me out didn't change the fact that he was still one of my best friends.

The rest of the night was sort of like a first date. I mean, we didn't like hold hands or kiss or anything like that. God no. Let's go one step at a time, people. But Heidi did come back with a coffee for me and one for herself, and I shared mine with Clyde. We all talked until the one minute countdown, when we stood up and pranced around, shouting numbers counting to zero. And when New Year hit, the three of us cheered and had a group hug. Normally, I don't take hugs. But I think that time was an exception.

So, back to present time. Walking into school, with a spring in my step. I didn't really have a certain reason to be feeling happy, but at the same time, I definitely didn't have a certain reason to be feeling sad. I had come to realize that winter break had really made a change in me, and it was surprising to look back and see all the things that happened in the time frame of a little over two weeks. Some really bad things that led up to something really great. And suddenly being at school wasn't such a burden anymore. It's not like I was suddenly a ray of sunshine, but I wasn't the gloomy kid that I had been for as long as I, and anyone else who knew me, could remember.

I made a quick stop at my locker, and on my way to class I waved at Heidi, who I saw talking with her friends down the hall. She had finally ditched Bebe and started hanging out with a crowd of nice girls who she met at the library over break. I had a chance to meet them, and right away I could tell that she was going to get along just fine with them. She waved back at me, and her friends glanced up and offered smiles. Looking good, ladies.

I slipped into class, first period, just a few seconds before the bell rang. Like usual, I was the last one to arrive, so I gently closed the door behind me. Ms. Molitor gave me a knowing smirk as she stood up from her desk, holding a stack of papers.

Oh, right. The essays. I landed myself in the hospital before I got a chance to see that thing get turned in.

I slung my backpack off my shoulder and dropped it on the ground, sliding into my seat and now looking worriedly at the stack of paper as she began handing them out. Clyde did say that he wanted to turn it in, and I guess I said I would let him…but did he actually do it? Crap, that was a huge assignment. I swear to god, if he didn't turn it in I was going to start rethinking all of this…

Ms. Molitor dropped a stack of papers on my desk, stapled together at the top corner. With a big red A scrawled across the top.

"Good job," she said in an undertone, smiling at me. "One of the best papers in all three classes."

I picked up the paper, flipping it over to look at the rubric. "Uh, thanks," I said un surprise, glancing up at her.

"You worked with Clyde, didn't you?" she asked. She tapped the A on my paper, raising an eyebrow. "You guys made a good team. We have another partner project coming up soon; maybe you should think about working with him again."

I offered her a small grin, glancing over to Clyde, who kept looking back at us apprehensively. I flipped the paper around to flash him the front, so he could see the bright red letter of success. He smiled in relief, then turned back around to fiddle with his pencil again.

"Yeah, I'll look into it," I said to her, and she nodded and was gone.

A few study dates couldn't hurt, could it? I guess I would have to remind myself to head down to the library with him the next time we had a date.

A sticky note on my computer would probably work just fine.

This is normally where a story would have it's ending. But rest assured, this is not the end. Far from it, actually. The end is up to you, the reader, to decide. Use your imagination, your fantasies, to think of how their story ends. The rest of their story is up to you.

Dream it well!