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"Now that I think about it", Plagg said as Adrien started to race out of the park, "maybe cleansing the boy of that evil spirit should have been higher in our list of priorities."
"YOU DON'T SAY?" Adrien replied, holding onto his kwami for dear life, so he would not be dragged away with his miraculous.
The Evillustrator had escaped right after grabbing the ring, and was out of sight already.
Thankfully, Marinette's home was close by, and she would be able to contact Ladybug, or so Adrien hoped.
"We all agreed that cutting the child to pieces to get the Akuma out was not an acceptable solution", Plagg pointed out from under the teenager's shirt.
"Well, I'm starting to reconsider", Adrien muttered, without meaning it.
He was starting to feel some resistance, as if a gigantic magnet was pulling Plagg away. He ran faster. A few moments later, he barged into the bakery.
"IsMarinethere?" he asked her mother, lungs on fire.
He was suddenly glad for the long years of excruciatingly time-consuming afterschool activities his father had forced upon him. Without all of that training, he would probably have killed himself running so fast.
"She's upstairs", mister Dupain replied. "Do you want me to call her?"
"Yespleasethanksgasp."
The wait was unbearable. As soon as Marinette walked down the stairs, Adrien dragged her out, and towards the closest alley.
"Can you contact Ladybug NOW?" he asked, frantic.
"I can call her? What's happening? Is there a new villain?"
"The Evillustrator got Chat Noir's miraculous. He's probably bringing it to Hawk Moth as we s-"
Plagg popped out from under his shirt, gasping, and flew backwards towards the park. Adrien ran after him, grabbed him with both hands, and tried to hold on. The pull was so strong by now that Adrien was dragged along with the spirit.
"Tikki!" he heard Marinette call from behind him.
Tikki?
And he was joined by Ladybug, who wrapped the string of her yo-yo around Plagg. She kept the yo-yo itself in her hand, and watched as Plagg was torn out of Adrien's hands. The Kwami yelped and tried to fly back to them, but barely managed to slow down a little. In Ladybug's hand, the yo-yo was spinning, that infinite string growing longer and longer.
"I'll follow him!" Ladybug said. "And didn't believe I'd ever say that, but get Queen Bee!"
She started running after the kwami, jumping over obstacles and people and trying not to let him out of her sight. As fast as she ran, however, Plagg was starting to distance her.
At least, as long as he was tied to her yo-yo, she would be able to find him.
Adrien turned to confirm Marinette was gone.
He breathed in, shaken to the core.
Then, he raced to the Bourgeois residence.
###
"I have to admit I'm pleased", Hawk moth said. "It took some time, and it's not the miraculous I expected, but no one so far managed what you just did. It was deceitful, clever, and strangely efficient."
"Thank you, sir", the Evillustrator replied.
He wasn't proud of himself. But, halas, teenagers in love have little sense, and he felt that his ability to turn into a supervillain was necessary to keep pursuing that girl he was "not dating at all". His normal self had "no spark", "no fire". Chloé believed she deserved the moon and the stars, and was not one to lose time with someone who could not literally deliver both. He didn't want to lose her, he didn't want to fight her, and - if he had to be honest - he did not want to be robbed of his assertive other self. A strange mix of lack of confidence, infatuation and demonic possession could have pushed anyone down the wrong path, fate of the world be damned. Nathanaël had resisted longer than most boys in his situation would have.
He cleared his throat.
"Now", he asked, "not that I mean to be difficult or anything, but where exactly should I bring that ring?"
There was an awkward silence. Hawk Moth coughed.
"I knew I had forgotten to mention something."
A swarm of black butterflies joined the young supervillain, who had so far been running "as far away from Adrien as possible".
"Just follow them."
The villain sighed.
"Why butterflies?" he muttered. "Why couldn't it be 'follow the spiders'?"
###
Adrien had reason to believe Chloé's nails were polished enough to be used as mirrors. She seemed to spend most of her time taking care of them. When the boy barged into her room, she was equipped with an emery board and no interest for his woes whatsoever.
"Help", he gasped. He tried to formulate an entire sentence but found his lungs had closed up shop. "Bee."
"Yes?" she drawled.
"Need. Bee", Adrien said, taking a deep breath. "The Evillustrator took Chat Noir's miraculous."
Waspp peeked out of Chloé's jewelry box.
The blond raised her eyebrows.
"Nathanaël did what now? And wait a second, I don't see how anything related to 'Bee' concerns me."
"He's Chat Noir", Waspp helpfully provided. "He knows who you are."
"WHAT?"
"IDENTITY REVEALS LATER!" Adrien shouted. "He. Took. My. Miraculous."
"That's… Strange", Chloé commented. "He showed no interest in mine."
"I suppose he… Wait a second. When did Nathanaël 'show no interest in your miraculous', exactly? You told him about it?"
"Of course I did. Who else was I gonna confide in?"
"I… Don't know? Maybe not a SUPERVILLAIN?"
"Pleeeeeease. He was barely villainous at all, since that fourth time he abducted me."
"Well, he obviously decided to make up for that!" Adrien snapped. "Are you totally-"
He saw Waspp yawn and use a gold ring as a bracelet. As he understood that trying to argue with Chloé was akin to trying to argue with a brick wall, he turned to the Kwami.
"How could you let her?"
The little creature put the ring down and gave him a bored look.
"I find Plagg and Tikki's strategy to be lacking both in efficiency and boldness. Your current approach of the situation is reactive, not proactive, and has established a regrettable status-quo where you and Ladybug idle around, waiting for Hawk Moth to make a move, which you then counter. It leads to a slow, unending war with no real stakes, where neither side has incentive to pursue the other aggressively enough to inflict meaningful damage. That tactic is lazy, conservative, and annoys me to no end. Because there is literally no end in sight. I figured I'd help things along."
"Help… What?"
"The Evillustrator is leading us straight to Hawk Moth. You are welcome."
###
Ladybug caught up with the Evillustrator over the Pont des Arts, after a long race across town. He had a flying carpet, and she had none, so he would have been much faster than her, had he not been following butterflies. Butterflies were notoriously bad at flying in a straight line. A villain more efficient than Hawk Moth would probably have picked a more practical species of insects for his familiars. There was a lot to pick from, even if you wanted to keep the whole evil vibe: yellowjacket, firefly… Even spiders, really. Spiders would have crawled their way to their destination, not frolicked around and followed every gust of wind.
She pulled Plagg to her, grabbing her yoyo's strings with both hands. The kwami squeaked, so wrapped into that string by now that he looked like a piece of roast.
"Nathanaël" she pleaded. "Please give me the miraculous back! You don't have to do this!"
The Evillustrator's shoulders sagged.
"Did you have to show up? Did you? Now I have to take yours too, I hope you are happy!"
"Okay, A, that's not a problem, because I won't let you. B, you DON'T have to obey Hawk Moth. You can resist him! You've been yourself for weeks, don't try to make me believe you can't control the transformation!"
"I'll have nothing to control if I have to give it back!" the boy retorted.
"YOU ARE POSSESSED BY AN EVIL SPIRIT. Giving it back seems like the obvious choice!"
"I wouldn't antagonize the boy possessed by an evil spirit", Plagg whispered.
"I am not giving the Evillustrator up", the villain yelled. "I need this. It makes everything better."
Ladybug gaped, overwhelmed by the degree of nonsense.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Possessed. By. An. Akuma", Plagg commented.
"Right."
Maybe Nathanaël behaved a little less homicidally than the rest of Hawk Moth's victims, but it didn't mean everything was alright with his mind.
"You really don't need the Akuma", she insisted. "You're a good person. You're a great boy!"
"Well that's easy for you to say! You are popular! You are strong! Everyone in our class likes you! And you. Are. A. Liar", he retorted. "But Chat Noir won't be teaming up with you this time."
That answer forced Marinette to follow several trains of thought:
A) He knew who she was.
B) She was not under the impression that "everyone in their class" liked her.
C) If Hawk Moth was listening in, she was doomed, just like her family and friends.
D) Well, no, Chat Noir was not in a position to team up with anyone right now.
E) Wait wait wait, why the emphasis on "you"?
While her mind was hosting as many figurative trains as King's Cross station, the Evillustrator put the ring on.
###
"Tell Waspp that we weren't ready for this, please", Adrien said as a flying Queen Bee carried him over Paris' roofs.
He really didn't like seeing his feet dangle above several stories worth of empty air. He hoped Chloé's phone would not ring, because she was not above forgetting she was holding him before answering a call. He wished he had thought of tying himself to her instead of letting her grab him by the armpits before taking off. He would definitely have felt better tied up to Chloé (it was not a sentence that crossed his mind often).
"What about you tell her yourself later?" Queen Bee retorted. "I really don't care about all of that whining. I'm sure you and Ladybug will handle things just fine, like always."
"'Me and Ladybug'?" Adrien repeated.
"Why, of course. Who else?"
The boy was starting to understand why Ladybug could grow that irritated at Chloé. The blond was still his friend, but she was not the most cautious of them, and certainly not the most responsible. It could get tiring, even when you were used to it.
"I don't know? YOU?"
"Don't be ridiculous. I have no training whatsoever, as Ladybug keeps pointing out."
Adrien tried to look up, and bumped his head against Chloé's chin.
"Aouch", he said, while Queen Bee did not even blink because she was pretty much invulnerable. "You have no training because you have refused it over and over again!"
"Be that as it may, it's too late for me to learn now."
"You know what? If we get out of this alive, you are going to learn fencing."
"What?"
"Fencing", Adrien repeated. "Because you'll join me one evening a week during my lessons. And, after the lessons, I will be training you. Properly."
"Yes, well, I'll pass. I have zumba on Fridays."
"I DIDN'T SAY YOU HAD A CHOICE."
"I always have a choice. The trick is not to let anyone else have one."
This. This was why so many people turned into Akumas around her. He sighed.
"Mondays?" he tried.
"Yoga."
"Thuesdays?"
"I get my hair done."
"Wednes-"
Queen Bee stopped mid-flight.
"Didn't you just tell me you were Chat Noir?"
"Waspp did?"
"Then who is that?" Chloé said, pointing at two moving silhouettes with her chin.
On the roofs, not so far from them, Ladybug was fighting a red-haired Chat Noir. Adrien stared down in horror.
"Oh", Queen Bee murmured after a moment. "Oh."
###
