On the Ark, having a mother on the council, a father as the head engineer, and always being in the med bay meant that people thought they had the right to touch you. The older people on the Ark were always tugging on her braids as they walked past, or clapping her on the shoulder. They laughed, "You'll be so pretty you'll be beating the boys back with a stick when you get older" despite the fact that there hadn't been any sticks on the Ark since the Ark was launched. Kids in the hospital constantly wrapped their arms around her in appreciation, and one too many times, men who thought she was cute would attempt to drape themselves around her.

Her parents, the Jahas, the members of the council. They were all free with hugs and touches. She knew her entire life that everybody who crossed her path loved her in some little, stupid way, and a part of her hated that. They didn't know her well enough to love her. They didn't know anything about her other than the fact that she was a council member's daughter and she couldn't hit them for touching her, because a very real part of her hated the touches and the smiles and the fakeness of everything. A very real part of her was almost glad when they put her in the cell after her father died, because she wouldn't have to deal with any of them hugging her and telling her how sorry they were when they didn't give a shit about the sacrifice her father made for them.

The ground was even more freeing. Nobody wanted to touch her except Finn. She could pick who she came into contact with, and the touches meant more on the ground. It was up to her to hug Jasper when he woke up and was able to leave the dropship for the first time. She was able to throw her arms around him and squeeze him tight enough to comfort, but not tight enough to hurt him, and it was her choice.

When she fell into Finn's arms, it was her choice. When she held Monroe's hand after taking care of a cut on her shoulder, it was her choice. She was allowed to make her own choices on the earth and nobody could tell her that she was being rude or that she needed to be more proper. The earth was freeing, and a part of Bellamy's 'whatever the hell we want' always echoed in her mind when she turned away from a hug, or grasped her co-leaders hand when he was helping her up out of the dirt. She never did do whatever the hell she wanted, if she had, nobody would have ever accused Clarke Griffin of not being fun. But she had relished the freedom.

Until there wasn't freedom anymore and there was only white walls and the secrets that were embedded in every face that didn't belong to her people. Then there was the camp and it seemed like so many people were touching her, and then there was her mom, crying, and she had all the freedom in the world to hug her, so she did, but it wasn't what she needed and there was no pretending that everything was perfect anymore. Until she heard his name.

He didn't know how to hug. That was the thought that hit her after the mantra, 'He's alive, he's alive, he's alive.' Nothing in the world felt better than that moment. With her arms wrapped around him, even before he caught onto what she was doing and tightened his hold on her, Clarke felt like her world had fallen back into place. It had been knocked out of orbit, but, when she came into contact with him, everything was alright again. They could fix everything together.

He stunk and he was covered with blood and sweat and god knew what else, but she pulled at the sleeve of his shirt and pressed her mouth into his shoulder while he pressed the side of his face into her hair. He lifted her until her feet weren't on the ground and she promised whatever God there was that she would give up the freedom of choosing who could touch her if she could touch Bellamy Blake every day for the rest of her life. She could teach him how to hug.

He rocked back and forth on his heels and Clarke wasn't sure if it was because he was just swaying or because the force of her body hitting his was still affecting him. She didn't care. His breath was hot in her ear and she was sure that her breath on his shoulder was baking his skin. But she was breathing promises and greetings into it and she knew he was doing the same for her. They had each other back and, even after a time apart, the co-leader were an extension of one another. They were all each other needed to go and get their people back.