"Legilimens!" The word resounded through the room and suddenly Hermione felt that her thoughts were not her own any more. It felt like someone was standing next to her seeing her thoughts as they came. It was very unsettling.
Hermione heard Snapes voice as if it came from far away, she seemed lost in her own head.
"Miss Granger, try to focus. Imagine that your mind is a library, every memory has its own section, and the important ones their own rooms. When you are looking for a specific memory just go to the room where you have put it. Just start with the memories of the last few days so that you get used to it."
Hermione automatically thought of the day Minerva had stepped over her threshold. In her mind she saw a beautiful library wall to wall covered by ornate bookshelves filled with every book ever written. On each wall there were doors that led to hallways with countless of rooms where each of her memories could have a home. Snapes choice to ask her to imagine a library was a good one, it instantly made Hermione feel at home, and at ease. The memory she had chosen was assigned a room and when thinking about it, it seemed like stepping into that memory. She could watch Minerva introducing herself and then after they had sat down, she had explained as gently as she could about Hermiones situation, and the life she knew nothing about.
Snapes voice was heard far away again. "Now go out of that room and open another door, and before you do, try not to decide what memory will be there, just let it come by itself."
Hermione imagined walking to the room oposite of the one with the memory of Minervas visit. Gently she opened the door and walked in. She then noticed that she was in a different library, Snapes, and she relived the first time she saw the man who was at the moment in her mind with her. And he could see what she did, and feel what she had. Embarassed she quickly stepped out the door again and tried to think of nothing at all.
All of a sudden she was in Snapes library again, but now she was in it for real, not in her memories.
Snape lowered his wand and looked intently at Hermione. She looked embarassed and just stared down on the floor.
Snape stood up and went to pour healty doses of fire whiskey into two glasses. He gave one to Hermione who just nodded and started to take small sips of the strong drink.
Snape finished his glass and sat down again. "This is why I would never let anyone into my head, again. There is nothing one can hide, every emotion and action displayed to someone who will make their own mind up of what they see, twist it to be used to their advantage, and they will always have some kind of hold of you from that day on. Three people have been inside mine, and two of them decided that I was theirs to use as they liked for the duration of my life. Thankfully it only became the duration of their lives. The last one was by accident, but the feeling of being violated will never go away even though it was not on purpose. You will have to decide if you want to go ahead with this or not, it is only going to get harder from now on."
Hermione looked up into the face of Snape, he looked severe, but there was a slight gentleness in his eyes that Hermione did not miss. "I am not sure what to do." Hermione said. "Had you asked me an hour ago I would have been certain that I wanted to do it, but now, I just don´t know." Hermione sighed and pulled her knees up under her chin.
Snape leaned back aganst his chair and looked at Hermione. Since she had entered his house he had been more aware of that she was a woman than what he even wanted to admit to himself, but now he could see a glimpse of the child he remembered. She looked bewildered and not just a little lost. "I can tell you this though miss Granger. It is not hopeless. If you decide to go on, I think we have a real chance at retreiving your memories. In the memory you have of your visit from Minerva I could sense something odd, something that I have actually wondered about since you arrived here. I had assumed you would have reacted to such a tale with disbelief and would have thrown the woman outside. Instead you belived her, almost right away. Now that I saw the memory from your perspective I could sense that something in your subconcious woke up, and that part of you knew that it was true. That makes me think that your other memories can be brought back as well. And if you decide to go on, I will do what I can to help you."
Hermione slowly raised her head and looked up at Snape with eyes full of unshed tears. "Thank you, I just need to think about it for a while, it is all so confusing, and not being alone in my own mind, that was, it was... I can´t even explain it. But I guess you know what it is like."
Snape nodded and looked into the fire that was blazing in the fireplace.
Hermione stood up and put her hand on Snapes shoulder who looked up at the woman in front of him.
Neither of them said anything, but the look of gratitude in Hermiones eyes shone brigh. Snape slowly put his hand on top of Hermiones and gave it a small squeeze without taking his eyes away from hers.
