E.H.
So, if you are curious, most of the chapter titles are variations of lyrics or song titles. Often times to the main song that I'm listening to while writing. Anywho, I am working on another chapter for this fiction! To be honest, this chapter went much differently than I'd planned on. But as it seems to be doing, it turned out better than what I'd thought originally. I really am wondering if this fiction is more-or-less writing itself. Call me a crazy person, but it sure feels like it to me!
Thanks for the reviews! I assure you, things are going to be FAR more complicated. /Insert evil face/
Oh! And also! I am SORRY for all the mistakes in the last chapter! I re-read it and face-palmed over a few! Please forgive any typos or failures on my part with the written English Language! I swear, it IS my first language and I DO know how to write!
Wall of Happiness: SakiHanajima1, Mizz Ri, Hakudoushi9, Anon, and NoWarningSignsNoAlibi
Dear Departed Love Song
"What?"
"I understand this is rather…hard to accept bu—"
I yanked away from him and walked a few steps backward. "What the hell?!"
"Nariko—"
"Don't! Don't you dare look at me like that!" I yelled and flailed my arms. "What kind of sick fucked up little joke is this?! You're only two years older than me! How the hell could you possibly have a 'first lover' that died and was reborn?!"
"Because, things are rather complicated. Please, if you'd just—"
"Just sit down and listen?! Fuck you, Suuichi! Get out!"
He blinked in shock before his face shifted to steel. He stood his ground. "No. You need to listen."
I scoffed and planted my hands on my hips. I was a little too far gone into the land of pissed-off to care that I was practically naked at this point. "I'm sorry, did I stutter? Let me try this again. GET. OUT."
"Did I?" I flinched at how cold his tone was. I could have forgiven him yelling, telling me something hurtful and slamming the door. Hell, it would have fueled me better. But no, he had to turn cold. And I don't mean just simple coolness you get from any other guy; I'm talking frigid like the damned Antarctic. He managed it in two words. I shivered as I tried to stand my ground. Deep inside my heart, I knew he wouldn't hurt me even if I seriously managed to make him mad enough to do so. But still, that didn't stop the same fear from descending upon me that seemed to choke the very breath from me.
"If you'd but allow me to finish one statement, I might be able to help you see and understand things better. I've received a special blessing in order to protect you further."
"Protect me from what?" I was so exhausted and freaked out that I gave up and sank to the floor where I was at. I looked up at him helplessly. "From these…these…images I keep seeing? From these stupid insane notions that my life isn't as helplessly fucked up as it seems to be? That maybe, just maybe I'm special in some way that can help me deal with this all?"
I propped my elbow on my left knee and leaned my head on my good hand. Suuichi moved across the room and sat quietly before me. He started to reach for me and pulled back. He rested his hands on his lap.
"You can touch me…" I whispered without meaning to. I didn't take it back, though. He pulled me into his lap and cradled me to his chest. I felt so small even though my legs spilled from his lap freely.
"My world is a deadly place, Nariko. I have many enemies; if they were to hear but a passing mention of a lover from another's lips they would hunt her down in order to murder her."
"There you go again." I moved to look up into his eyes. "'Your world.' What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"What I mean to say is that I am probably one of the most dangerous creatures you'll ever know." His eyes bore into me. I frowned and shook my head.
"I refuse to believe that."
"Don't be stupid, Nariko. What do you feel when you are with me? Do I feel like a normal human male? Do I touch you like a usual man would or should? Do I talk like one would my age? Do I pursue the same ideals and notions? What do you really see when you look at me…?"
I stared at him intently. I traced my fingertips over his brows and nose. His eyes were very un-natural for a Japanese man. But then again, he could have American in him… Or European. But, wasn't his mother Japanese? My mother was and I inherited most of her traits. My eyes were just a darker blue. But blue wasn't too uncommon among Japanese. Green, however…was. And red hair such as his…was truly un-natural. Even if his father was foreign like my own had been. Black or brown was a far more dominant gene. And I knew for a fact he didn't dye his hair. His lower region's hair was enough indication of that. His features were almost devastatingly perfect. He was the epitome of handsome in an…ethereal way. His lips were pert and soft yet so inviting. Everything about him enticed me and invited me in like a lure; bait.
"I see you." I sighed and looked away. "I see a man who's too good to be true and is abnormally attracted to a girl like me. At least, that's what I seem to project onto you."
He made a sound of irritation. "Get dressed." He rose with me a little too easily for my taste and set me on my feet.
"Why?"
"I am taking you somewhere and I will not allow you to be seen by anyone other than me like that." He gave me a pointed once-over that was hot and searing. I took the hint. I wanted to know what he was hiding badly. I rummaged around in my dresser and threw on a black dress that I rarely wore. It was simple enough for whatever he was planning. I then slipped on my flat boots and grabbed my jacket.
"This will have to do."
"It will." He led me out the door and waited for me to lock my door. As we headed down the stairs, we passed a neighbor of mine. She was elderly and always seem to look at me like I was…I don't know…tasty. I had always ignored her and made a point never to be alone with her. As Suuichi passed her, he bristled and so did she. They watched each other warily as they passed. He reached back and pulled me closer to him. I looked at him incredulously as we reached the bottom of the staircase and crossed the street.
"What was that about? Are you intimidated by old women? I assure you, I'm not into old, wrinkly women." He ignored my jibe and looked up at the walkway that let to our apartments. I followed his gaze. She was up there glaring down at us. I could have sworn she flashed her teeth at us before turning a little too quickly for just an old woman to dart into her apartment. My body felt chilled.
"Do you still deny that you see things?" He asked and I looked at him sharply. His body was rigid and tense while he looked up at the balcony. His eyes were the only part of him that moved to look at me.
I frowned and looked at the balcony and back at him. I shivered. "I suppose that depends on what you saw."
He rolled his eyes and turned quickly. The force of his turning caused me to stumble into him as his hand jerked my own closer to him. I glared at him but kept pace with him. We continued on our way until we got to a bus-stop that I knew led outside of the city limits if you took the route all the way. I flashed him a curious look. He ignored me and paid our bus fare as the bus arrived. We settled toward the back. He sat with his legs and arms crossed while staring out the window. I kept getting odd looks from people around us. Oh, yeah…I probably looked like a gothic hooker. Great. I rolled my eyes and leaned my head back on the seat.
"You look fine." Suuichi sighed softly. I turned to look at him. How did he know what I was thinking?
"I look like a gothic hooker." I murmured, a little un-nerved.
"No. You don't. You look like a young woman who's seen a ghost with a businessman."
I stared at him for a long moment before he flashed me a sheepish look. "I realize that probably does look rather…questionable, doesn't it?"
"Very." I sat back with a snort and a light chuckle. He draped an arm over me and pulled me closer to him. I snuggled into his side and tried not to think. Funny thing about thinking. When you want to think, you just can't seem to. When you don't want to think, all you can do is think.
The bus ride was a long one. I nodded off against Suuichi's side. His scent invaded me and seemed to wrap around me in a cloak of warm comfort. My mind seemed to take this fact and decided to run with it. That and, I'm sure in the back of my mind, what he'd said to me earlier had a lot to do with my dreams.
I lied there in a bed made of furs. I stared up into golden eyes. He hovered over me with a look of possession and pride. It didn't upset me; actually it made me feel like I was supposed to be there. I belonged. I sat up and captured his full lips. He returned the passionate action and held my head with one clawed hand. We parted to breathe and he nuzzled my neck before sinking his teeth into the swollen and tender flesh. Instead of pain, a powerful wave of pleasure immobilized me. I reacted in full and repeated the motion over his left nipple. A guttural noise rumbled through him as he released his seed within me again for the fifth time. I dropped my head back with a laugh that echoed around us. He looked at me with both mirth and that ever present ego.
"Rather proud of our self, aren't we?" His voice flowed like black ink, deep and endless, over me. I smiled.
"Should I not be?" I didn't recognize my own voice. It was light and floated like soft chimes. My backside twitched. A tail. Somehow I knew I had a tail. I rolled to my side and pushed myself up. The same silver-blue hair from all my past dreams flowed over my shoulders as I rose. I pulled it back from my face and tossed it back over my shoulder. I could see him more fully. White-grey hair, golden eyes, grey-ish ears and a tail the same as his hair all set into a body of divinity. He was meant to rule, control, and be the ultimate lover while also the cruelest killer. I knew without a doubt that those very claws that had left trails down my back, hips, and thighs while being gentle had ended many lives. He would be a king someday. Pride swelled in my chest as I watched him rise and tower over me. He pulled me to him roughly. I allowed him. I was his; I belonged to him just as he belonged to me. I looked up into his face and let a purr roll from me.
"I must be off soon. Kuronue and I have found it."
I shivered as I looked away. He knew I didn't want him to leave. He knew I feared the vision I'd had. He still would go and I still wouldn't stop him. He didn't believe in visions. I didn't either; I should have.
"Then go quickly so you can return quickly." I sighed and looked back at him. "Make it known that Yoko is to be feared and to be known as the King of Bandits."
He grinned slowly. "I will be known throughout, Harui. And when I am, I will sire pups off you."
I threw my head back and let go of another bell-like laugh. He still didn't know the truth to me. "I look forward to it."
I woke with a jolt and looked around quickly. Suuichi looked at me with slight concern. I shook my head at his unasked question and pressed my fingers to my temples as my dream began to fade. It had been so different this time. Usually I dreamed of her death, not her lover. I shrugged it off, not wanting to dwell on it. Suuichi's suggestion, stupid joke actually, must have led to this. The bus jerked to a stop.
…..
Suuichi led me through a thick wooded area. I glanced up with sleepy eyes as the sun began to peek over the horizon. Had we really been up all night? I would have blushed at that thought had we actually been up doing something more than riding a bus to the wilderness. I tripped on a few roots and snarled. Sleep deprivation made a girl grumpy; couldn't really blame me for being in a foul mood. Therefore, when I kicked the rock out of fury that dared trip me next, I couldn't be held accountable for the small plant that I killed. Suuichi stopped and threw an angry look over his shoulder at me. I shrugged.
"Try not to decimate all the plant life, will you?"
"Hey! I'm not the crazy one dragging a girl out into the deep woods in the early morning. It's not like anyone around could give a damn about some random plants I happen to kill. They'll never see them. Probably don't even know the plants are out here." I took a few more steps before stopping dead in my tracks. The truth in my words rang through my head. I replaced the word plant with the word girl. I then replaced the word I with the word you. I looked at him suddenly very aware of my surroundings. He stared at me impatiently. Did I stupidly fall into this trap? Was he a serial killer that no-one knew about? How many girls had he done this with? Or did he target girls who thought they were crazy? I stepped away from him.
He frowned and looked at me intently before his face fell. He rolled his eyes and looked up through the trees. "You can't seriously believe that I'm trying to kill you?"
"Oh? Really? I can't?" Okay, so many taunting him wasn't the smartest thing I could have done.
"If I wanted you dead, Nariko, I would have done so the first day I met you and saved myself all the headache and troubles leaving you alive would have caused."
"That's comforting!" I cried, moving farther away from him. "Let me guess, you target the girls who have crazy family members and have no ties and—"
"Nariko!" He snapped and turned toward me. "I'm not going to kill you! And you aren't without ties! You are very close to Keiko and Yusuke! Do you believe they'd let some crazy man get close to you like this?"
"Serial killers are very good about making themselves look innocent and like the most normal people you'll know."
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Nariko…please. I didn't bring you here to kill you. I brought you here to show you something."
"All your other victims?"
Suuichi's eyes darted up into the trees with a sharp glare. He looked like he was having an internal conversation; or more to the point, argument with himself. Great. I moved farther away from him.
"Stop moving." He ordered and for some stupid reason, I obeyed. He turned to me again, looking more frustrated than before. He took a deep breath and looked at me as though he was torn. "I suppose here will have to do if you won't trust me to take you farther from the road."
I opened my mouth to retort but thought better of it. If he was having a moment of doubt about killing me here, I didn't want to give him renewed strength in wanting to murder me. I nodded silently, forming a plan in my head. As soon as he turned his back, I was running for it. Last time I tried to fight and see where that got me? I wasn't about to do that again. He stepped backward and farther from me. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. Wasn't the point to get closer to your victim? More personal kill that way. The air shifted. I felt my body zing with energy while I stood there. I froze as the air became very localized and focused around Suuichi. The air began to spin and make it look like he was…I don't know…being surrounded by a strange fog-like aura. That's exactly what happened next. He was shrouded in a deep mist-fog that had lightning strikes crackled throughout. I wasn't sure what the hell was happening. All I knew, was that the temperature dropped and the area darkened considerably. I shrank back against a tree and stared in awe-struck horror as the spinning stopped and the fog billowed and moved of its own accord. I started to see a shape emerging from within the fog. My heart was thundering so loudly that I couldn't hear past it. A very tall man stepped from the fog. The instant he set foot outside the mist, it dissipated. Before me stood the very image from my dream on the bus. I felt my eyes bulge. I peeked around him to see if Suuichi was still back there and having the same moment of shock as I. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. I looked back at the very tall, fox-eared man.
"W-Where is…S-Su-Suuichi?"
He tilted his head as if he didn't understand me. A slow smile, dark and deadly, spread over his lips. "He is here. He is me as I am him."
How did I know what he looked like or sounded like so accurately? My dream had been eerily correct. I shivered. He watched me like a predator watched prey. I shifted to the side and moved quickly so that the tree was between us. He gave me a patient look that told me in no uncertain terms that he was humoring me by allowing me to put a tree between us.
"Wh-what does that mean? You are him and he is you?"
"Don't be daft, Nariko." He rolled my name on his tongue like butter before he smiled again.
"I'm not daft!" I shrilled. "I'm just really fucking confused and scared!"
"I know. I can smell it."
I balked. Smell it? He could smell me?! What the hell was this?! A sci-fi movie gone wrong?! I glanced around and spotted a small pathway that led back toward the road. I didn't think, I just ran. I should have thought. Before I made it ten feet, I was caught up in a strong vice-like grip that made my lungs expel a sudden whoosh of air. I was suddenly against a tree, staring up into golden eyes. I opened my mouth to scream but only had it covered with sensuous lips. They moved over my mouth possessively. I recalled my dream and couldn't help it. I reacted to him as strongly as I did Suuichi. I melted into his kiss and felt a strong rush of desire push over me. I lifted my right leg and dangled it off his left hip; a feat which wasn't easy since he was much taller than I was and even Suuichi. I felt him press intimately against me. I gasped and threw my head back, wincing as pain exploded over my head from the rough collision with bark. He didn't release me, instead he chuckled against my neck as he laved my skin with his tongue. My breath came in pants. I felt his clawed hands shove my dress unceremoniously up my thighs and over my thighs. He yanked the jacket I had on off and threw it, uncaringly, over his shoulder. The straps on my dress must have annoyed him as he tore them free and yanked the offending fabric down. He glared at my bra and underwear. He hooked a claw on the lacy material of both and sliced them away. I stared at him and wanted to protest but couldn't find my voice to do so. He stared at the garter belt and stockings before a leering grin spread on his face.
"I like the look of this. This may stay." He stated simply before his lips were covering my mouth again. His hand found my nether zone and began to work magic with his fingers. I noted, absently, the way his fingers moved on my sensitive flesh was the same way Suuichi touched me. I dug my nails into his broad shoulders. He must have taken it as encouragement as he drove deep inside me so quickly that it lifted me off the ground completely. I cried out loudly as he thrust inside me hard and fast. Each thrust lifted my one foot off the ground. I pressed my chest against him while rolling my head from side to side against the tree bark. The scent of our love-making filled my nose. Without any warning, his mouth was on my chest while he thrust inside me. I whimpered and moaned, hearing it echoing back at me. He filled me completely and thoroughly. I came hard and fast. I arched as far as I could off the tree. He was far from done.
He pulled us from the tree and flipped me around, bending me. I grappled for the tree and his slammed himself home again and again. I found myself rising on my tiptoes and trying desperately to meet him. His pace was ridiculously and rather impossibly fast. I could feel him rubbing my cervix deep inside with a small burst of uncomfortable pain that paled next to the writhing bliss the rest of his intrusion caused inside me. I knew that I felt the same with Suuichi. I felt addicted to sex and addicted to him. As I screamed my release for the second time, I felt dirty. Oh so dirty. I started to cry. What was I thinking? Why was I letting this man fuck me like this? What if something had happened to Suuichi and here I was…letting some random, all be it sexy man, screw my brains out? I felt him release within me. When he pulled free to reposition us, I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands. He moved behind me and pulled me to him, turning my face to lick my tears away.
"Stop…p-please…I-I can't…this isn't…it isn't right! I-I'm…"
"Nariko…look at me." I froze. I knew that voice. I opened my eyes and looked into green. I blinked rapidly and shook my head, confused.
"W-what is…?"
"It's me. It's been me all along."
I shook my head, looking around. "Wh—"
He sighed and pressed his forehead to my shoulder. "Nariko, the man who was just with you is me. I am him. We are one and the same. That is what I was trying to show you."
I thought to the way they felt inside me. It was the same feeling just…slightly different here and there. I looked at him and touched his face as he raised it to look at me. I turned and straddled him. I knew it was wrong and weird, but I needed him then and there. He had to have read it on my face as he guided himself back inside me. The difference between them was only slight. The other was ridiculously tall and made me feel like a ragdoll. Suuichi was a perfect height as he held me like I was a precious porcelain doll. He slid inside me and I groaned. I set our pace and he let me. I rode him there on the forest floor. When I came, it was just as strong as the other times and felt more…connecting. I settled in his arms, not bothering to readjust my clothes while he held me. I didn't even bother pulling him from within me. I could actually feel him soften and slack while he relaxed inside me. I smiled and tucked my head under his chin.
"What are you?" I repeated words back at him that now made sense from such a long time ago. He caught my meaning as I felt him smile.
"I am a complication."
I snorted. "Tell me something I don't know."
He chuckled and moved us. He lifted me and I felt him fall out of me as we both gathered ourselves. I stood and readjusted my dress, staring at the straps. I looked at the scraps of lace and ribbon that had once been my undergarments. I glanced down at my legs and garter belt and felt my face flush crimson. I sighed and looked up as I began to tug my dress down. Suuichi stood, pulling his pants back on fully while watching me. I could see the guilt in his eyes as he looked at the former bra and underwear.
"Sorry." He ducked his head. I saw it though, he was grinning. I tugged my dress down fully and plucked the lacey garment closest to me up and flung it at him.
"Yeah, I'm so sure!" I replied not without a smirk of my own. "You really like the garter belt that much, do you?"
He looked at me unabashedly. "Very much so."
"How could I have ever believed you were gay?"
He bristled. "Excuse me?"
I waved it off. "Don't ask, you probably don't want to know."
He glared at me with less anger than in the past. "I suppose you're mostly right there."
I stared at him losing all humor. "Suuichi, answer me honestly. What are you?"
He looked at me, losing all playfulness as well. He sighed and looked away, eyes focused far away. "I am not too unlike the monsters that you have seen."
"You mean like…the one in the park?"
He nodded. "I am of a different species and class however."
"What was it?"
"A demon."
I moved to lean on a tree. "So…you're a-a demon?"
"Yes…and no. As I said, I am complicated."
A thought struck me. "The guy in the park that broke my hand—"
He looked pissed for a moment before he nodded. "Yes. He's a demon as well. His name is Hiei and he is a colleague of mine and Yusuke's. It's a very long story."
I nodded as I tried to process the information. "So you're a demon?"
"Yes."
"A demon…"
"I believe we've established this fact repeatedly."
"Oh shut up and let me think." I growled. I found it not as hard to believe as it should have been. Oddly enough, I recalled back to when I heard Suuichi and Yusuke conversing quietly in the night over demons. Then it rushed me. I sank down the tree, staring at the ground wide-eyed. "Oh my god…"
"Nariko?" He was at my side instantly.
"My mother calls you Fox-san…because…" I looked up into his green eyes. I could see it; he was eager for me to say it. To voice the truth myself; accepting him as I'd not before. "Because you are a fox demon…"
His eyes lit up as he nodded. It fell into place. The strange guttural growls I heard from him every now and then. The aura of possession when another man dared to glance at me in his presence. The way he spoke so fluidly and easily. The way he ruled my body when he made love to me. He wasn't really human to begin with. Everything about him made sense.
"How old are you, really, Suuichi?"
"My demonic age is…rather old. I stopped counting after one thousand years had passed."
"Why does Yusuke call you Kurama?"
"My demon name is Yoko Kurama. I prefer Kurama. Suuichi is my human name."
"So you…you really look like tall, white-haired, and fox-eared inside?"
He laughed lightly. "Again, yes and no. I am human and I am demon. I am an enigma of both worlds. I was hunted down and nearly killed a little over twenty three years ago. I managed to escape here to the human world from another world known as demon world or the Makai. I found a pregnant woman whose baby had yet to develop a soul. I melded with it and became what I am now. It is why I prefer Kurama. In many way, Kurama is the epitome of both lives united as one."
"And you believe I am…the reincarnated soul of your lover, Harui?"
He nodded slowly. "Yes."
"So, when you see me…you see her?" I felt both jealousy and hurt wash over me. Was he making love to her all this time? Or was it me?
He didn't answer. Instead, he looked just as confused as I did. I looked away to hide the hurt and try to staunch the flow of tears that threatened to fall. He sighed and rose to his feet, holding his hands out to me. I took them and rose. He led us back to the bus-stop. I managed to find my jacket and wrap it tightly around myself. I felt lost, hurt, and kind of used. I didn't talk to him all the way back to the city. I didn't even talk to him as we walked to my apartment. When we reached my door, he stopped me.
"Nariko, the woman who lives next door…she is dangerous. Be careful, all right?"
I looked at him. "So you're going to leave it at that?"
"She hasn't broken the Spirit World law yet in harming humans. At least not that we know of. But I don't want you to be the first she breaks it with."
I stared at him. I shook my head. "I'll be sure to be careful. I don't want to do anything damaging to your precious lover's soul." I said bitterly while shoving my door open. He winced and tried to stop me again. I spun on him. "Tell me that you want to be with me because it's me and not because you're still in love with her soul."
He sighed and rubbed his face. "Nariko, don't be unreasonable."
"It's not unreasonable. It's honesty."
"You know I can't do that." He answered softly. I didn't bother to stop the tears.
"So when you screw me, you're doing it because you see her?"
"Nariko—"
"I hate you." I slammed the door in his face and locked it. I listened as he walked away. Just like that, my heart broke.
And here is just one of the reasons why I have down ANGST as one of the categories. But, I hope that little Yoko action was worth it!
Please let me know what you thought!
Erika Hearken
