A/N: I'll be uploading a new and longer chapter Saturday afternoon. Yay. Sorry for the mini Chapters, they're just fun to write. This is Naruto-centered. Although it's more so media conversation. Thanks for reading, I can't wait to drop the chapter Saturday.


Uchiha Sasuke: I'm taking a leave of absence, I've spoken with Kakashi regarding the whole arrangement and he signed off on it. I'll be out of town indefinitely.

Kakashi insists that you needed a heads up. This is that heads up.

If you ask me, he already finds you incompetent of this leadership position if he just assumes you can't adapt to as little a change as this.

You'll be over my position temporarily. Don't get comfy. Don't fuck anything up and make things impossible for me to fix when I return. If you make any errors I suggest you clean it up quickly before anyone gets suspicious of your inexplicable promotion. Gossip shifts the gears in upper management, it's like I've always told you: less is more. Talk less Naruto, interfere less. No one takes opinions seriously, just shut the fuck up and don't give yours. Let some other idiot take the bait.

The job is pretty cut and dry, even an intern with a clean slate in experience could take on the task. It doesn't take a genius, it just takes common sense. Am I wrong in assuming that you can take the reins while I'm away?

Uzumaki Naruto: Wrong, no. Are you fuckin with me?! Me?! I'm the one being promoted to Chunin level executive. I always thought Lee was a shoo-in, fuck, he's gonna be pissed as all hell. Guess I'm a little surprised by the recommendation, especially if you were only going to talk a bunch of shit after notifying me. Fuckin bastard. Thanks for vouching for me.

Uchiha Sasuke: Don't thank me, all the Genin are hilariously unqualified in this company, you included. The only good quality you've got going for yourself is how determined and driven you are, even if it's bullshit. We're in a business that exploits your kind of naivety, it makes the deniability easier. Your ability to convince people to trust us, that's your saving grace. Thank yourself.

Uzumaki Naruto: First off, fuck you bastard. Second, where the hell are you goin? Goin rogue on us so soon?

Uchiha Sasuke: Right about now, that's not such a bad idea. Have you spoken with my-with Sakura?

Uzumaki Naruto: Meh, not lately, is she dragging you off to court again?

Uchiha Sasuke: She…

She's pregnant…

Uzumaki Naruto: Oh…OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. You guys…ohhh…recently? Ohhh….shit…

Uchiha Sasuke: Yeah, and doing what she does best, lashing out at me. Mentioning the divorce every 3 seconds. I took that therapists' advice and let her get it all out of her system—I thought. It's the song that never ends. Just when I think she's said what's on her mind, there's a plethora of more unresolved shit.

Uzumaki Naruto: I'm not an expert on any of this shit and you don't have to take my word for it but when someone is mad at you, it doesn't have an expiration date. Milk has an expiration date, lunchmeat has an expiration date, some say humanity has an expiration date but women holding grudges. It's an uphill battle teme and the thing is, you don't just get to have the anger all at once and build from there. It's a full-on assault—mentally and physically. One day things are goin smooth and she might just bring up whatever pissed her off seven months ago. It's never over and you can't do shit about it but be prepared to rebuttal. It's a twisted game that you pretend you don't like but it's got its merits; the angry sex, the delicious brownies and the time alone sometimes. It takes perpetual patience and understanding but in time she'll get over it. You'll get to see your kid when they're ten. That's better than never, right?

Uchiha Sasuke: Goodbye.

Uzumaki Naruto: I warned you that I wasn't an expert.

Uchiha Sasuke: I don't need an expert or any disgusting images of you having angry sex with your fiancé. You know Sakura, has she ever…been angry with you?

Uzumaki Naruto: Loads of time. Your expectations are too high, teme. Sakura-chan's grudges have sequels.

She pretended I didn't exist half of freshmen year in high school. Ya know why? I called her flat-chested. Just give her a bunch of space, act like it doesn't bother you—she hates when you do that. Best case scenario, you get visitation when the kid gets here.

Uchiha Sasuke: I don't expect a thing, only honesty.

Uzumaki Naruto: You can see how ironic that sounds, right? You cheated on her.

Uchiha Sasuke: We were already on the rocks by then and she kicked me out.

Uzumaki Naruto: The principle still stands, you stepped out on her. You fucked up bad but I don't think saying sorry is gonna be enough this time. Give her time to recuperate. That means, no visiting her out of the blue and getting her to sleep with you. That's like pushing the reset button, she'll only resent you for thinking sex could fix it. I can't believe you're going to be a papa before me. :'') I'm gonna be a proud god-papa. Do all of the things my god dad did for me like get popsicles, collect frogs, teach him the art of seduction….uh what else…

Uchiha Sasuke has left the chat


Eightgaytes: CONGRATS ON THE PROMOTION! YOU DESERVE IT!

RamenLuster25: Thanks buddy…so, no hard feelings?

Eightgaytes: NO NEVER! NO ONE IS MORE DESERVING THE JUNIOR POSITION THAN YOU! IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM AT THE TOP FOR ALL OF US! I'M GOING TO SNAG ME A SPOT SOONER OR LATER!

RamenLuster25: It's kinda temporary and there's only three Junior spots…so there isn't plenty of room. I'm just filling in for Sasuke while he's out of town.

Eightgaytes: UH I SEE? IS THIS SOME SORT OF UPPER MANAGEMENT TACTIC TO CRUSH YOUTHFUL SOULS? OR ARE YOU TRYING TO MOTIVATE ME TO TRY AND PUSH ONE OF THE OTHER GUYS OUT OF MANAGEMENT?

RamenLuster25: What? No that isn't what I meant, I'm telling you there are only three Junior positions and I'm just temporarily holding one of them. Gaara and Bee are holding the other two, they're our friends and they were chosen because they're pretty damn good. It doesn't have to be some sort of bloodbath to climb the ranks. We can earn our shit the old fashion way, through our work.

Eightgaytes: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS…GAARA, BEE AND SASUKE ARE THE ONLY THING STANDING IN THE WAY OF OUR PERMANENT PROMOTIONS AND THERE NEEDS TO BE A BLOOD BATH?

RamenLuster25: Lee, what the fuck, no. We just need to keep doing what we're doing and we'll be recognized for our efforts.

Eightgaytes: RIGHT ;}

I'D LIKE TO ASK FORGIVENESS.

RamenLuster25: Why? What's the matter?

Eightgaytes: EARLIER TODAY, ON MY WAY LEAVING FOR LUNCH, I SAW A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE EMPLOYEE PARKING LOT. SHE APPEARED TO BE HAVING TROUBLE. I WENT TOWARDS HER, TO ASSIST BUT SOMETHING STRANGE OCCURRED AND I WITNESSED…WHAT I….I SAW HER BOTTOM. SHE WAS NUDE BENEATH HER LONG COAT.

RamenLuster25: Lol sounds like luck to me, nothing that deserves forgiveness on my end. And it's not your fault that you got front row seats to the show. Did you talk to her? Give her the bushy brow smolder and ask her out?

Eightgaytes: I COULD NOT BUT I CERTAINLY ADMIRED THE GLIMPSE. SHE IS A VOLUPTUOUS WOMAN AND I CAN SEE WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS IN GOOD SPIRITS BUT YOU HAVE DIBS. IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT FOR ME TO PURSUE. UNLESS, YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME TO GO AFTER YOUR FIANCE? IS SHE ALWAYS WEARING NOTHING SO FREELY?

RamenLuster25: O_O I'll fucking kill you.