Author's note: This is a rewrite of chapter 8 in response to some reviews that I got. They were right and made me see how this chapter was rushed and needed more depth. Hope you all enjoy. Thanks for reading

What Have I Done?

Jo smacked her alarm clock off and buried her head under her pillow. She was queasy again this morning for the second day in a row and she didn't have to look at a calendar to calculate that she was three weeks and four days late. She groaned trying to push back the thought that had become harder and harder to deny with each passing day. Just thinking about it turned queasy into downright sick and she jumped out of bed covering her mouth and ran for the bathroom praying that none of the boys were already in there. She got to the bathroom and shut the door just in time. After emptying her stomach into the toilet she shakily got up to rinse her mouth out. Staring at herself in the mirror, her face pale with dark circles under her eyes, she shook her head, "What have I done?" she whispered fighting back tears.

Jo slowly got ready for school, if she took too much time she wouldn't have to sit down with the family for breakfast and food was the last thing she wanted right now. She just hoped no one noticed she was missing the meal again. She had been nauseous most of the day yesterday but hadn't thrown up until this morning. As she was leaving her bedroom, just in time to walk out the door for school, her stomach rolled again and she had to rush to the bathroom one more time. Jo hurried to brush her teeth again and jogged down the stairs just as Nathan started to holler at her. "You sure are taking your sweet time today. Now we're going to be late," he snipped as they sped off. Jo ignored him taking deep breaths trying to calm her stomach.

The bell for first period was ringing when Jo walked in the front doors. Alex had been waiting and caught up to her, "Morning," he said kissing her cheek and reaching to put his arm around her. He stopped and looked closer when he saw Jo's pale face. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked concern lacing his voice. She just shook her head and kept walking not trusting herself to speak. "Jo, what's the matter?" he called after her a feeling of apprehension settling over him.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat at seeing Alex, she turned and forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "We'll talk after school." Her face fell flat again as she hurried up the hall to her classroom.

Alex sighed and walked in the other direction. He went over in his head what could be bothering Jo. They had spent time together after school earlier in the week and she had been fine. Even yesterday she was a little quiet but didn't seem upset. He warily ran his hand through his hair and resigned himself that he would have to wait until he saw her later to figure out what was wrong. He couldn't imagine what he had done to upset her, but she had never been that cold toward him. He tried to focus on what the teacher was saying but his mind kept wandering.

When it was time for her lunch, Alex met Jo in the hallway to walk her to the cafeteria like he did every day. She was quiet and kept her head down as they walked barely mumbling a response to anything he said. He knew something was really wrong but he had no idea what it could be and knew she wasn't going to talk now. He sighed heavily and pulled her into a quick hug before hurrying to his next class. "I'll see you after school, okay?" Jo nodded her agreement.

She met Shae and Lizzie at the doors to the cafeteria, "I have some homework I didn't get done last night. I'm going to the library to finish it up. Go ahead without me." Jo could feel her stomach turning at just the smell of food. There was no way she could go sit in there.

"What about lunch? Won't you be hungry?" Lizzie asked.

"I had a big breakfast," she lied taking off down the hall to the bathroom.

When the final bell rang that day, Jo wasn't sure how she had made it through. Between her nausea and her anxiety she was sure she would have had a break down. The only person she really wanted to see today had been Alex, but anytime she even thought about him she felt on the brink of tears never mind looking at him or talking to him.

Alex was waiting for her when she got to her locker worry written all over his face. He had been distracted all day with concern for Jo, and he couldn't help but wonder if she was trying to find a way to break up with him. Things had been great between them but he just couldn't figure out what had suddenly changed and why she wouldn't talk to him or even look at him.

She tried to calm his fears with a smile but tears threatened when her eyes met his and she quickly looked away. He helped her with her books then wrapped an arm around her and ushered her out to his truck. He guessed it was a good thing that she didn't pull away. When they got in the pickup he turned to her, "Jo, what's wrong?" he asked gently placing his hand on hers.

"I need to tell you something. We need to go somewhere and talk," she kept her eyes straight ahead. She didn't want to have this conversation in the school parking lot.

Sighing Alex started the truck and drove out to the only place he could think to go, their field. His heart was pounding by the time he parked the truck and got out. They sat on the tailgate and Jo finally turned to him. He raised his eyebrows in question.

She took a deep breath, wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek and just blurted out, "I'm pregnant." She watched his shocked expression and then dropped her eyes to stare at her hands in her lap.

Alex sat stunned. He tried to form words but couldn't. All he could think was, how? He glanced at Jo but couldn't see her face because her hair had fallen down shielding it. "Wait a minute, it's April Fool's Day. Are you messing with me?" He knew it was a stupid thing to say as soon the words left his mouth.

Jo's head shot up, "Do I look like I'm joking?" she snapped.

"No, I'm sorry. I just… I'm just… How?" he stuttered. She rolled her eyes and glared at him. "I don't mean how. I just mean we used condoms every time," he corrected quickly.

She softened, "I don't know how it happened but I am almost a month late and I haven't felt good the past couple of mornings so…" she shrugged.

"You haven't taken a test?" he asked hope edging into his voice.

She shook her head, "No, but I'm pretty sure. What else could it be? I'm never late." Tears once again filled her eyes. Alex reached over and pulled her to him hugging her tightly. "What am I going to do, Alex?" her voice was muffled against his chest.

"Well first, you're going to take a test and then once we know for sure, we'll figure it out," he said at a loss. He buried his nose in her hair kissing the top of her head and trying to reign in his thoughts and feelings. He closed his eyes briefly; he was scared to death but he had to be strong for Jo. "And hey," he said nudging her head up and looking in her eyes, "You're not alone in this. I'm with you every step." She nodded and through her tears gave him the first real smile he had seen from her all day. He brushed her tears away with his thumbs and kissed her lips.

"The boys will be home and Ellen is off today anyway, I can't go to my house and take a test," Jo said looking to Alex with anxious eyes.

"Terri doesn't work so she will be home," he added trying to come up with a solution.

"I'm not doing it in a convenient store bathroom," she wrinkled her nose up making Alex chuckle despite the situation they were in. They both thought for a moment before Jo spoke up again, "The health department does free pregnancy tests. They told us about it during sex ed in health class last year."

"Okay, let's go," Alex helped Jo off the back of the truck and opened the door for her to climb in.

They drove to the local health department. Jo crawled out the driver's side door behind Alex and clung tightly to his arm as they walked in. She approached the big desk at the back of the lobby and quietly told the receptionist what she needed. The middle aged woman handed her a clipboard of papers to fill out and gave a knowing look as her eyes flickered between the young couple. Jo sat down beside Alex, who immediately wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders, and began to fill out the forms with shaking hands. When she turned the papers back in to the lady she asked Jo in a low voice, "Is there a parent or an adult you would like us to call for you?" She glanced over at Alex.

"No," Jo answered firmly. A nurse came out and ushered Jo to a clean sterile looking bathroom and gave her instructions on what to do.

She gave her specimen and headed back towards the lobby to wait. She was intercepted in the hallway by the nurse, "We have an OBGYN that sees patients here once a week and today is the day if you would like to get a full exam."

"Uh sure I guess," Jo stammered.

"All right, follow me," she led Jo back down the long hallway and into an exam room, "you can wait right here and the doctor will be in shortly with your results."

"What about Alex? I need my boyfriend here with me," Jo demanded before the nurse could leave the room. She nodded and went back in the direction of the lobby.

When Alex entered the small room, Jo was sitting up on the exam table nervously biting her fingernails. He could see the fear in her eyes when she looked up at him. He stood beside her and she wrapped her arms around him burying her head in his chest. He held her rubbing soothing circles on her back until the doctor came in.

"I'm Dr. Bane," said the woman in the white lab coat holding out her hand to Jo and then Alex, "and you must be Josephine." Jo didn't even bother telling her it was "Jo". She was a tall thin woman with her hair pulled back into a tight bun and angular features. "You are indeed pregnant," she told them flatly with no preamble.

Jo felt her head spinning and closed her eyes. She had been sure she was but now hearing the words from a doctor made it suddenly real. She couldn't wish it away anymore. She slid her eyes over to see Alex's reaction and if she wasn't able to read his face so well she would have missed it. His face had paled fractionally and his jaw was tight where she could see he was clenching his teeth. Beyond that his face remained stoic and unchanged as he listened to the doctor.

Dr. Bane had continued right on talking not giving them a minute to come to terms with the news she had just thrown at them. Jo zoned back in, "Based on the date you gave us of your last period, you would be seven weeks and three days pregnant making your due date November, 15th. If you would like we can discuss your options now," she finally paused and looked at Jo.

Jo knew what her options were and knew the only choice she could make and live with. "I'm having this baby and I'm going to keep it," she informed the doctor staring right at her. As an afterthought she looked over to Alex. They hadn't discussed anything beyond finding out for sure if she was pregnant. Now that they knew, she had no idea what he was thinking or feeling or what he wanted to do. Relief flooded her body when she saw that he was nodding in agreement.

Alex felt like he had been punched in the stomach when Dr. Bane had come in and announced that the test was positive. He had to be there for Jo, he couldn't let his feelings show so he just clenched his teeth and took a couple of deep breaths. He didn't show any reaction. He didn't want to upset Jo any more than she already was he had to be her support. He was taken aback when the doctor had wanted to discuss their options. Of course he knew what choices they had but to him there was no option. This baby was a part of him and a part of Jo there was no way he wanted to give that up. He already felt himself becoming protective of it and even loving it. He was blown away by those feelings; it had only been minutes since learning Jo was pregnant how could he already feel like this. He nodded along with Jo when she answered the doctor. He had known from the moment they had gotten the news what she would do. He squeezed her hand in his and kissed her temple.

"Okay then," Dr. Bane continued, "I would like to do an ultrasound to confirm those dates and make sure everything looks good." Jo agreed and the doctor handed her a paper gown and stepped out so she could change.

When the door closed behind her, Jo and Alex just looked at each other. What was there to say? This is what they had expected but there were so many questions to be answered. "Are you okay?" Alex finally spoke softly.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, "but I will be. How about you?" Jo was having a hard time reading him. She knew him so well but he was locking his feelings away.

"I'm shocked I guess," he shrugged, "it's a lot to take in." She agreed as she put on the gown.

The doctor knocked on the door and peeked her head in, seeing that Jo had the gown on she entered the rest of the way. "Now, since you are so early I will have to do a transvaginal ultrasound. It may be a little uncomfortable but it shouldn't hurt." Jo swallowed hard and gripped Alex's hand tighter. The woman was right, the ultrasound was uncomfortable but when they saw the heartbeat Jo forgot all about it.

When Dr. Bane pointed out the little blob on the screen and when he saw the heart beating, Alex's feelings were confirmed. He could feel the stirrings of love for the baby in his heart.

"Everything is developing like it should be and looks good. The measurements agree with your dates. Now, Josephine, it is very important that you establish prenatal care and continue to get routine checkups throughout your pregnancy. Brenda can give you phone numbers for local physicians on your way out. I'm going to give you some vitamins I want you to start taking. Do you have any questions for me?" When Jo shook her head Dr. Bane continued, "I don't know what your situation is, but you are going to need the support of your parents. So I would suggest you tell them sooner rather than later. If you have any problems or questions you can always come back here. I'm here every Thursday. And if you change your mind you can come here to discuss your other options too."

They politely thanked the doctor and walked out of the room hand in hand. They stopped at the big desk in the lobby to pick up the list of doctors. The ride to Jo's house was quiet as they were both lost in their own thoughts.

"Do you want me to come in with you while you tell them?" Alex motioned to the house with his head as he pulled up to the curb.

"I don't think I'm going to tell them just yet," she replied quietly.

"Jo."

"No, Alex. I can't yet. I have to still wrap my mind around all this. And it's not going to be good when I tell them. I know it's not. They will be so angry," she sighed.

"Okay," he agreed. "But call me, anytime. Don't freak yourself out too much. We'll figure this out," he rested his forehead against hers and had both of her hands clasped in his. "We are in this together, every step, remember that." She took a shaky breath and nodded her head. "I love you," he said kissing her lips softly.

"I love you too," she hugged him around the neck and got out. She wiped at her eyes as she walked up the driveway hoping all traces of her tears were gone. She didn't need anyone asking questions.

Alex watched as the front door closed behind Jo. He laid his head back against the seat and sighed heavily rubbing his eyes. "What have I done?" he asked aloud in the quiet cab of his pickup.

He barely touched his supper that night and didn't even bother opening his books to do his homework. Now that he was alone he could freak out. He didn't tell Jo how scared out of his mind he was. He couldn't tell her he had no idea what they were going to do. One of them had to be strong, be reasonable.

He didn't know how to be a dad. Look at the example he had had he snorted to himself. How were they going to raise a baby? He was supposed to go off to college in August and she still had two years of high school left here. He didn't know how any of it was going to work. The only thing he was sure of was that he loved Jo and he loved their baby and somehow he had to make everything work out.