A/N: NO, I AM NOT DEAD. I just neglect you so terribly, it makes me cry. I really wanted to finish this story by the summer, but I don't know. I don't even know what I'm going to do with this story. I used to have so much drive to do this, but now it's dying as new story ideas keep forming in my brain. I promise that I will do my best to finish this, but it won't be as good as I originally wanted it to be. Oh well, at least t his piece of shit will be over with.
CelestialDeth: Ahah, I really wanted B and Misa to be friends mainly because they just seem to fit in my mind. It makes me laugh too though.
HiImAPerson: I fucking love you. You are such a big fan of this story even though I'm such a bastard and never update. I really don't know why I had B and Misa kiss; it was so long ago I forget. I hope you'll be pleased with what will happen in this chapter to make up for my shitty updates.
thehelpfullhint: You are do nice D: I love you 3
QueenLucy15: Yes, B had a stupid shirt. But in my mind he looked fucking hilarious.
bittersweet-endings-2214: puuuuuuuuuuuuuuke, not nice.
black snow rose: haha, I think everyone who reads my story hates Light.
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, Death Note: Another Note, Shout or Tears for Fears.
~You Shouldn't Have To Sell Your Soul~
[][]START[][]
The tile was cool on my face and I could barely register the sounds of Misa shooing all the other confused/scared boys out of the men's bathroom. I know that Misa had quickly ushered me to the bathroom after I threw up, but it was like I had read that fact somewhere else instead of living it. I knew it happened, but I didn't feel it happen.
"Holy shit B, he fucking looked right at you! Can't you hold your puke like normal people? You! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
I heard the last person quickly leave, probably out of fear. I moaned, trying to push my face further into the toilet bowl and trying not to think about how many people's butts had sat there today. Hairy man ass, no thank you.
"B? Are you still alive?"
I moaned again, trying not to vomit at the smell of the toilet. "I'm alive."
I heard Misa sigh, and then felt her sit next to me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to think about the awkward position my knees where in. It was stupid of me, really, to have been so dramatic in such a public place, causing such a scene like that and embarrassing Misa like that. I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
"Stop mumbling to yourself, it won't fix anything, you douche."
I snorted a laugh and looking up at Misa, keeping my cheek on the seat. She looked worried, grossed out and pissed all at the same time. She didn't look the least uncomfortable to be in the handicapped stall in the mall's men's bathroom, but that somehow didn't surprise me.
"Misa," I pretty much chocked out. "What am I gonna do now? I just made a huge fool of myself and L probably knows it's me and I just fucked up everything."
Misa reached out and put her hand in my hair, something she rarely did. "It'll be okay, B. Your shirt is to gay for L to possibly know it's you."
I laughed again, pushing myself away from that disgusting toilet and leaning against the stall wall. "I love you Misa."
"I'll love you more when you wash your cheek with bleach." Misa said with a fake-disgusted look on her face. I laughed again.
Maybe things won't suck hairy man-ass.
[][][][]
[ Beyond Birthday – so how did your date go with Psycho? ]
[ L Lawliet – he's not a psycho and it went fine until some idiot threw up in the food court. It kind of ended after that. Asshole totally ruined the mood ): ]
I almost cried from gratefulness that some higher being actually saw that I needed something good in my life. I guess throwing us isn't always a bad thing.
[ Beyond Birthday – fine, hes not that psycho (to you yet). Sorry it got ruined. ]
I didn't really know what to type after that, but ending my text like that seemed so lame. Whatever, I should just accept that L didn't know it was me. B-1, Crazy-Killer-0.
[L Lawliet – yeah, well I hope the next date goes better ]
I spun around and around and around in my office chair until I got dizzy and could feel my brain slosh around in my skull slightly, making me slightly nauseated. I didn't want to reply to him and accidently do dramatic shit again, so I decided to end the conversation there.
Misa had left a while ago, doing everything she could to make sure I was okay and even offered to spend the night again, which I declined to. She had pretty much been living at my house for the past week, even with school and everything, and I just needed a night alone. Misa is a great friend and everything, but sometimes you just need to be alone, know what I mean?
Plus, what I wanted to do tonight Misa would break my face for.
"B!" I heard my mom yell from down the hall. "I'm going to work now, okay? Will you be okay for dinner and everything tonight?"
I got up from my roll-y chair and poked my head out my bedroom door, looking down the hallway towards the front door where my mom was standing. "Yeah, I think I'll be fine. Have a good night at work." I smiled at my mom and she smiled back, waving goodbye and leaving.
It makes me a bad son and I hate myself for it, but I just can't stop.
I slipped into my mom's room quietly, even though I knew she was gone. It's this childish thing I do; mainly because I know what I'm doing is wrong.
I took a deep breath and went into her bathroom, turning on the light. I looked in the mirror for a moment before opening the cabinet, too disgusted with myself for what I was doing.
'OXYCODONE' was printed boldly in that stoic procreation labeling, right on the front, seeming to mock me. The only reason my mother kept them around was because she has surgery a while back and didn't take all of them, but decided to keep them for some unknown reason. I opened the bottle and poured 10 or 12 pills into my hand, staring at them.
"Who's gonna know?" I whispered to myself while shoving them into my mouth and swallowing.
[][]END[][]
Holy shit, I'm so mean to you guys. Knowing myself, I won't update this crap for another like, a year and you'll all be like "OMG B DIEDDD! D: " haha, he won't die. I promise.
I also promise that I will try to update this piece of crap more often and not leave you alone in the forest for so long.
I really love you all 3
With so much love, ~xxignoredxx
