Life for Olivia, Rafael and Noah calmed down over the next few months. During the summer of 2017, all three spent more and more time together as a family but Rafael also made sure that he and Olivia had time for just the two of them. Several couple get aways for Olivia and Rafael and a family vacation to Disney World had brought all three closer together. Noah was getting very comfortable with the fact that "Uncle Rafa" was becoming much more important in his life...and in his mother's life. Rafael and Olivia's relationship had grown stronger and stronger in the ensuing months and they were both happier than either had ever been before. However, as fall came around it was apparent that Murphy's Law had parked it's self at the Barba/Benson doorstep.
The new school year started off for Noah and with that came a call to Olivia about a bruise on Noah's arm. On his first day of school, Noah had walked in front of a cab and Olivia pulled him to safety before the cab could hit him. Working at SVU for 19 years, Olivia certainly understood that as a school, they were a mandatory reporter. But she never in a million years thought she would ever be called in front of CPS to answer questions regarding allegations of abusing her own son. To make matters even worse, one of Olivia's former lovers, Brian Cassidy was now working for the DA's office as an investigator. It was Brian who was assigned to Olivia's case. There would never have been an investigation past the initial questioning, but because of Brian's report, Child Protective Services got deeper involved.
The bogus abuse claim was, of course dropped. Before Olivia and Rafael could even catch their breath, Olivia had another punch to the stomach. As it turned out, Noah's birth mother, Ellie Porter had lied about her family. Although her father was deceased, her mother was alive and well and living in New Hampshire...Sheila Porter.
Sheila had shown up on Olivia's doorstep unannounced to claim her grandson. She went so far as to take Olivia to court to try and overturn Noah's adoption. When that move didn't work, Sheila changed her tactics and slowly got Olivia to trust her...and to trust her being alone with Noah. Of course, it was all a ploy. After several months, Sheila put her real plan into action and arranged to have Noah kidnapped. It seemed like nothing was going to stop Sheila...that is except the entire NYPD, the Special Victims Unit and Rafael Barba. Truth is, if Rafael hadn't contacted Sheila's New York attorney and gotten the name of Sheila's PI from her, Noah may not have been found because Sheila had taken Noah out of state. Olivia doesn't know what she would ever do without Rafael. But, as it happened, she nearly found out.
At the beginning of 2018, Olivia had called Rafael in on a kidnapping case that was being handled by SVU. For Olivia it was just another case but for Rafael, it became much more. For him, it became the resurrection of old demons.
Olivia began to fill Rafa in on the details, "The father, Aaron Householder, kidnapped his infant son, Drew. The mother, Maggie, has custody. Drew has Mitochondrial DNA Breakdown. He is on life support and according to the doctors, there is no brain activity but they believe baby Drew does feel pain. The parents are currently involved in pending litigation against each other. Drew's father wants to keep him alive at all costs but mother Maggie wants to follow the doctor's advice and end his suffering so she's petitioned the court to allow her to remove Drew's life support. Aaron is fighting that potion in court so he kidnapped baby Drew to keep him alive"
Rafa was visibly shaken by the details of the case as Olivia was going through them and she noticed. "Rafa?" He didn't respond to her. He kept staring at Aaron Householder through the one way glass of the interrogation room from Olivia's office. She repeated herself but Rafa's mind was lost. Olivia shut her office door and closed the window blinds. She walked over to him, touching his arm and then his hand to try and snap him out of whatever was going on with him. Quietly she repeated, "Rafa...honey? What's wrong?"
Rafa blinked several times, coming out of whatever fog he was in, "What?" He took her hand and then dropped it. "Yeah, ahh...ok. Give me your DD5's and I'll arraign him in the morning." At that moment he was very cold and distant with Olivia, something that was very out of character for Rafael. As he picked up his briefcase to leave he turned around to Olivia, "Where is the baby now?"
Olivia responded, "Mercy Hospital PICU. His mother should be with him." Rafael nodded his head and left her office in an obvious state of confusion.
Rafael went immediately from Olivia's office to Mercy Hospital. He walked into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit where he found Maggie at Drew's bedside. Rafael introduced himself, "Mrs. Householder, I'm ADA Rafael Barba. I'll be prosecuting your husband for child endangerment, parental interference and kidnapping" He stopped and looked down at baby Drew, hooked up to all manner of tubes, IV's and a breathing machine. Rafael was physically shaken at what he was seeing. In a whisper he asked, "How is Drew doing?"
Maggie began to explain. "The doctors say he's stable for now. The machines are doing all the work for him. He can't breathe without that damn thing; he can't eat on his own..." She began to breakdown. "My son is suffering, Mr. Barba. Every day is just one more day of pain this innocent little boy has to endure." Maggie sat down as Rafael sat next to her. "When I was about 5 months pregnant, the doctors said this was a possibility. Aaron wanted me to have an abortion but I refused. I was the one who wanted to do the right thing, the righteous thing. I said we should give him a chance. I said that he deserved a chance."
She wiped away tears that were now streaming down her face. "Look at him Mr. Barba. There is not a day that he is not in excruciating pain. He can't eat or breathe on his own. He will never know what it's like to go to school or have a birthday party or have friends. This is his life, Mr. Barba. He's been sentenced to an existence of lying in a bed strapped to machines until he dies. I did that to him. I insisted he be born, I did that to him!" Maggie looked at Rafael with desperation in her eyes, "Why can't he die? Why can't he just die?"
Rafael shook his head, his eyes filling with tears. Maggie collapsed into his arms, grieving for the son she loved, the son that was suffering, the son she could do nothing to help. She apologized, "I'm sorry, Mr. Barba. Excuse me...I need some air." She stepped out of the unit and left Rafael sitting in the semi dark room.
As Rafael sat alone, he contemplated what, if anything should he do. Rafael was not necessarily an over religious man, but he had been raised Catholic, although he was no longer a practicing one. He got up and walked over to Drew's bedside. He said a silent prayer. This was something he hadn't done in nearly 30 years. Rafael had a jumble of emotions running through him...fear, anger, disillusionment, helplessness. After several minutes, a sense of calm washed over Rafael as his resolution came. He gently took baby Drew's small hand as he looked down at his sweet face and immobile body. He stared at the still little boy for a few minutes then turned to leave, comfortable with the decision he'd made.
As he left the PICU, he stopped, closed his eyes and quietly said, "Te amo, mi nino. Lo siento, hijo. Lo siento."
Rafael left the hospital and went back to his office. Once there he sent a quick email and then told Carmen he would be out of the office for the remainder of the day.
This child...this case would be the end for Rafael Barba and he knew it.
Olivia had been working on the DD5's all day to prepare the file for Rafael's arraignment of Aaron Householder. The day was beginning to wind down and Olivia was finishing up when she got an unexpected visitor...District Attorney Jack McCoy.
"Mr. McCoy?" Olivia was surprised to see him. Her first thought was this was about her and Rafael's relationship. "What can I do for you?"
McCoy shut her office door and pulled a piece of paper from his jacket pocket, "Have you heard from Rafael today, Olivia?"
Olivia looked a bit surprised by this question. "I saw him this morning, He was here and I was filling him in on the details of the Householder case. Is everything okay?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing." Jack handed Olivia the piece of paper and continued, "Rafael email this to me today. He's resigning from the District Attorney's office."
Olivia took the piece of paper, opened it to read what it contained but stopped as she was floored by McCoy's statement. "Wait...what? Rafael did what?" She read the very short and to the point resignation. Olivia was speechless.
"Mr. McCoy, I...I'm just as surprised by this as you are. I don't know where this is coming from." Olivia looked at Jack, not sure of what else she could say.
McCoy continued, "I was hoping you could find him and see what's going on in his head. I tried calling his office. He told Carmen he'd be out for the rest of the day and he's not answering his cell. But he will for you. No one knows where he is." Olivia handed the letter back to McCoy as she took a breath, "I will find him, I promise you." An unsettled feeling washed over Olivia.
McCoy thanked Olivia for her help. As he left, she immediately picked up her phone and dialed Rafael's number. There was no answer. She tried from her office phone and still no answer. Olivia became extremely concern and a sick feeling churned in the bottom of her stomach as she tried a third time. She whispered to herself, "Rafa, baby please pick up the phone." Still no answer. This was not like Rafael. There were two people he always picked up for, Lucia and Olivia. The only time he didn't pick up was if he was in court. Olivia knew he had nothing scheduled for today. She made the decision to contact TARU and track his phone. She'd never worried about Rafael. He'd never given her any reason to worry. But this was so completely out of character and not at all like him; she had to make sure he was okay.
Within a few short minutes TARU got back with Olivia. They had traced Rafael's phone to Lafayette Street in the Bronx. Olivia knew the address and made the nearly hour drive in record time. It was St Raymond New Cemetery. Olivia assumed he had come to visit his Abuelita's gravesite. He was always close with this grandmother and from Rafael and Olivia's prior conversations, Catilina was the one person who always believed in him and his abilities, without question or hesitation. He loved his mother, but his Abuelita was something special.
As she pulled up to the cemetery and got out of the car she saw Rafa standing by his Abuelita and Abuelo's gravesite.
She slowly walked up behind him and quietly spoke his name, "Rafael? Rafa, Jack McCoy came to see me and he said that..." Rafael turned around to look at her and his eyes were red, puffy and full of tears. He looked like a beaten and broken man. This was not the Rafael Barba that Olivia knew. In the six years she'd known him she'd never seen him like this.
"Rafa, baby what's wrong? What's going on?" Rafa looked her in the eyes, staring at her for what seemed like an eternity. He quietly, almost in a whisper answered, "I'm done Liv. I can't do it anymore. I can't...I can't." He shook his head as the tears began again. Olivia instinctively wrapped her arms around him, his head falling on her shoulder, both collapsing to the ground. "Rafa? It's okay. It's okay. Whatever it is baby it's okay." Olivia just kept repeating that phrase, maybe more for herself than for Rafa as she cried right along with him. Whatever it was that was going on inside of Rafael, Olivia was deeply hurting for him.
Rafael's emotions were coming to the surface for the first time in 30 years. The story he was about to tell Olivia was something that only a handful of people knew about Rafael Barba.
