It seemed like hours she sat waiting for Castiel's call. She was froze, leaning against the wall in the hallway staring at the opposite one. The house resembled exactly how she was feeling- broken and empty. Her legs had long grown numb and her chest was still encased in fire. She rubbed the mark on her arm, examining the blood on her hands. Some of it was his.
Sib heard footsteps finally, her head turning up to see Barachiel standing near the doorway of her room. He was rubbing his wrists and looking down at the floor. Castiel came past him, walking over to her and giving a gentle smile.
"Come." He spoke, holding out his hand to help her from the floor. Once she was up he looked back to the room as if to signal her. Her feet wouldn't move. She didn't want to be anywhere near Barachiel. "Come on." Castiel spoke again, this time sterner, tightening his grip on her hand.
She followed him, keeping her head down. It hurt too much to see Sam. Cas let her go and approached Barachiel, gripping his shoulder and saying something inaudible. Barachiel nodded and looked to her. "I wish to speak with her in private."
"It is her choice whether she wants to speak with you or not."
"I will." Sib cut in, turning her head up to meet his finally. The pain on her face was apparant; her brows were knitted and her lips pursed to hide the frown. Her eyes were puffy from crying and the bruises stood out on her paling skin.
"Are you sure?"
"I'll be fine, Cas." Sib spoke quietly. She didn't take her eyes off Barachiel.
Castiel hid his shock. "I'll be down the hall with Dean if you need me." He turned his head slightly over his shoulder. "Let me know when you're ready to leave from here."
Barachiel nodded, parting from the wall when Castiel passed him to go back to the livingroom. They stood there in silence for the longest time, Sib glancing down at her wound. Barachiel was still fiddling with his wrists that were bruised from the restraints. After the longest time he dropped his arms to his sides, bringing his gave up to meet her. "What did he call you?"
Sib swallowed. "Sib. He called me Sib."
"Is that shorthand for Sidney?"
"No.. It's an acronym." His brow raised and he squinted at her. "An acronym; each letter stands for a word."
"May I have an example?"
"Know what a car is?" She leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. Barachiel nodded. "Well, there's a brand called Mazda. There's this real funny acronym for it, too: Made At Zoo by Demented Apes. Or uh, Dodge: Dead on Day Gaurantee Expires."
He gave her a strange look; and then he grinned. Sam's laughter flittered through the air like music and for a moment she forgot Barachiel even existed and started laughing, too. "Remember when Dean was rolling them off at every car we drove past?" She spoke between giggles, holding her heart to try and drive the pain away. Then it hit her that he wouldn't remember because he wasn't Sam. The laughter died and Sib's smile fell just as quickly as it came. "Sorry."
Barachiel approached her, putting his hand on her back. "Don't be. This is my fault."
"You're right- it is." She slipped out of his embrace and glared. "I was supposed to die, not him."
"What does Sib stand for." He blatantly ignored her comment, looking at her in curiousity. For a moment her anger subdued and she remembered just how she got her name.
"According to Dean or Sam?"
"What's the difference?"
Sib turned her head to him. "You ask a lot of questions don't you, Barachiel?"
"It's in my nature to do so." He gave a shrug, smiling a little. "Please tell me."
"Sassy intellectual beauty, according to Sam. According to Dean the S stands for sensual- whatever the shit that's supposed to mean."
He thought for a minute, or at least feigned it before giving her a big goofy smile. "Suppose I can see that. What about your definition?"
"Stupid ignorant bitch."
Barachiel gave a surprised look, taken back by her agressivenss towards herself. Then he laughed. "Joking aside, Cassidy, what do really think of yourself?"
She pondered it for a minute before shrugging. "No idea."
"I can surely think of a few more of these acronyms for you." He spoke and brought her face up gently to examine her better.
Barachiel marveled at how the dim light hit her eyes and made them shine. He wondered if Sam had realized how they changed from blue to green depending on which way she turned her head and the direction of the lighting. He wondered if he'd noticed how the shadows cast on her cheeks, defining her jaw and giving her this strong look. Then he realized he was staring, how she pursed her lips and dimples appeared. Her eyes narrowed, arched brows lowering significantly.
"Yes?" Sib muttered, slightly taken aback by the concentrated look on his face. He immediately shook himself out of it and looked away.
"Nothing. I was just pondering something."
She snorted. "Of course you were. It's in your nature, is it not?"
"Yes, but.." Barachiel smiled. his brows rising and hair falling down in front of his face. After a moment of looking at her he'd completely lost track of what he was saying and laughed at himself. "I apologize. I forgot that the host's feelings carry over sometimes."
"What?"
He let her go and turned heel, beginning into the room he came from. "Come."
And with that she followed, not even second guessing. Her feet seemed to move on their own. Once they were inside he turned and looked at the door on the floor. "Hm." And with that he picked it up and leaned it against the doorway- granting them a moderate amount of privacy.
"Barachiel," Sib started but when he turned to her she saw pain in his eyes and stopped herself.
"Cassidy-" He paused and closed his eyes, running his tongue over his lips. "Sib." He corrected. "I pray you didn't listen to the lies of Elysium."
Sib tipped her head slightly, her lips parted as if to speak but no words came out. Barachiel stepped towards her and pressed his hands to her face with a smile. "He did love you."
Her mouth twitched slightly, her eyelids falling heavy. "That isn't yours to say. How would you know?"
"Because I feel it." He chuckled. Barachiel figured that he must've looked crazy to her and sounded it, too. He brought her hands into his, leaning down slightly to meet her eyes. "Sib, if you'd like I can stay for a while. Perhaps it'll help you.. It's the least I can do. When you wish me to I'll leave a note on the table and be gone. Dean will think his brother has abandoned you both. He'll be angry- not destoryed. It won't break him as knowing the truth would."
Sib took a deep breath, measuring the weight of his hands in hers. It was so familiar that she wanted to forget and think Sam was still there. The deal was tempting, it really was. Sib knew in her heart though that he wasn't Sam, though, and if Barachiel stayed it would be hell for her. "Yes." She spoke quietly, closing her eyes. She was ashamed of herself yet again. She felt like she was betraying Dean. "Just know that I'm only doing this for Dean. You have to act the part."
Barachiel seemed somewhat relieved but saddened all at once. "I will do my best."
She turned her head up finally. When his hand came to brush the tears away she jerked away from him, rubbing her hand across her face on her own. "Don't make this harder." Sib ran her fingers over her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. "Don't get attached." She didn't know if she was speaking to him or herself.
He couldn't make sense of what she said. Barachiel really did want to help her, honestly, not just because he felt as though he had to, or that he must play his part. He pressed his hand to her shoulder, turning her to him as gently as he could. "I can make you forget who I truly am."
"Why would you do that?"
"Dean is lucky to be blissfully unaware.. I would think you'd wish to be the same. If so I can make you forget."
"No." She shook her head to chase off the dizziness, reaching up to grip his arm and steady herself. "I don't want to think he'd leave."
"I'm not strong enough to take away your memory permanently. It would only last a little while."
"Why would you even bother?"
He watched her rub her eyes, bringing her back to face him. Sib sniffled and her jaw tensed. To Barachiel she practically looked half dead. "Because you didn't deserve this. It seems I made a mess of things for you and if I can do anything to correct it, I will."
"Do it."
"It'll take a few minutes to start working." Barachiel brought his hands to her face. The way she tipped her head up slightly and her eyes half closed made it hard to focus. There was blood on her and she was shaking, crying and trembling in his hands. She was a mess. It was almost without thought that he found his lips on hers. He didn't know if he did it for himself or her. Whatever emotion his host had carried over somehow. Or was it Barachiel's own sympathy, affections towards her twisted by the situation? He didn't know until he parted, and even then he second guessed it.
"You know everytime I've kissed him, it's been someone else." She spoke, her voice thick with sadness and her eyes opening slowly.
He could feel the pain swelling in his chest at the sight of her. How could he fail so badly? "Quiet." Barachiel muttered, catching a small tear with his thumb. "Give it a moment."
