Chapter 8: Wine & Dine:

"I cannot believe you slept with Sally," said Nicole, both annoyed and hurt.

"Well, to be honest, there wasn't much sleeping involved," replied Knuckles, slipping on some black trousers for the evening.

Nicole crossed her arms and pouted. "I wanted to be your first," she whined.

Knuckles winced. "Sorry. She had me cornered, and you know Sal, there's no saying 'no.' I don't even think the word is in her vocabulary."

Nicole sighed, slowly dropping her expression of repressed anger and frustration. "You are correct, as always, Knuckles," she admitted, a new look of minor depression replacing her former. "I just... wanted it to be special. Do you understand?"

Knuckles straightened and turned to the lynx. "I know. I'm sorry."

Nicole turned her gaze to the floor, her eyes seemed to be holding back tears, although Knuckles knew Nicole couldn't actually release fluids. She looked so pitiful and betrayed, that a tide of guilt washed over the male echidna. His shoulders sagged as he approached the lynx and wrapped his arms around her. He smiled. "Remember how you grabbed me like this the other night?" he asked.

Nicole giggled softly. "Yes," she said, "Although you didn't react as favorably as I had hoped."

Knuckles let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, I just wasn't as sure about us, back then."

"And now?"

"How about I just put it like this?" he asked as he turned the lynx around and pressed his lips lightly on hers. For a moment, the AI was taken aback, but quickly returned the kiss, pressing hers slightly harder against his until their lips parted and transformed into a true French kiss; the kind that would make Antoine envious. The room and the world itself slowly faded as the two simply enjoyed the passionate touch. After what seemed like mere moments and an entire lifetime, the two broke the kiss and gazed deeply into one another's eyes. His eyes, deep and mysterious, betrayed a hidden passion and another emotion she could only describe as love; to Knuckles, Nicole's bright, curious green eyes seemed exotic and playful. Subconciously, their breathing became light and shallow as their respiratory and cardial systems (his organic and her inorganic) slowly came in sync.

At last, Nicole spoke. "You know, I was contemplating calling the whole affair off," she said quietly.

At first, Knuckles gave her a reproachful look, then realizing it was a tease, smiled once again. "Then just let me say, I won't cheat on you again."

"That's all I ask," she responded.

Breaking eye contact, Knuckles threw on a clean, white shirt and quickly buttoned the garment up before finishing with a worn, but usable black vest. Just as he finished buttoning the piece of clothing a knock came from his door. It was Sonic. "Yo, lovebirds, Sal says it's ready."

"Thanks, Blue," called back Knuckles. "We'll be out in a minute."

There was a pause, as if Sonic was snickering. "Getting started early?" he quipped through the door, "Good thing I just knocked."

Knuckles rolled his eyes and muttered aggressively under his breath. Nicole placed a hand on the echidna's chest. "Do not let him get to you. Tonight is about us, right?"

Knuckles sighed. "Yeah, you're right." He paused and glanced at his partner for the evening. He raised an eyebrow and asked her, "Aren't you going to dress up?"

Nicole gave him a thin smile and nodded. In the breath of a second, her normal, long toga became a shorter, darker version of the original and sported two straps instead of just one.

"That's amazing!" exclaimed Knuckles, "A perfect woman right there, most women take an hour to 'get ready'!"

Nicole narrowed her eyes slightly in amusement. "Did you forget I am a hologram? I can change my appearance at will."

"No," said Knuckles, "But it's still awesome."

With that, the two linked arms and opened the door to Knuckles's quarters and Sonic fell over inside, as if he had been trying to listen through the door. Dusting himself off and standing up quickly, Sonic smirked. "Already over? Were you all like-" here, Sonic imitated a man during coitus with a bizarre look of euphoria on his face as his hips thrust slightly, " 'Ur, done!' and she was all like-" Sonic ceased the act and wore a disappointed face, " 'Well, that was like a fun-sized Snickers, short and unsatisfying.' "

Knuckles's eyes narrowed and he resisted the urge to knock the immature hedgehog for a loop. "How did... Let me rephrase, why did Sally send you to get us?"

Sonic shrugged. "Well, she told me to apologize for my behavior or she would 'physically remove my balls through my anus' and that sounded unpleasant, so here I am."

"And this is your apology?"

"No," replied Sonic, "this is." A new expression crossed Sonic's face, one that didn't appear too often, seriousness. "I'm sorry, Knux, for making fun of you and your life decisions... no matter how ridiculous they are... and to you, Ms. Lynx, for referring to you as a... um... Blackberry."

Knuckles sniffed. "Guess that will have to do."

"It'd better!" replied Sonic, "I don't apologize to just anyone."

"Thanks, Sonic... I think."

Sonic nodded. "Anyways, Sal's waiting for you in the dining room with Amy and Vanilla. Judging by the smell coming from the kitchen, they were making something good. Wouldn't let me in, though. I wonder why?"

"It's a mystery to all of us," laughed Knuckles. As he and Nicole departed, Nicole cast a glance back at Sonic and made the "call me" gesture. Sonic's face gave a confused visage and when the message registered, he shook his head quickly. No way! Sonic doesn't go for virtual girls.
*

In the commons, Knuckles and Nicole found Vanilla the Rabbit waiting for them, wearing what appeared to be an old waitress uniform from some diner. "Reservation at seven?" she asked, flawlessly playing the part of hostess.

"Um, yeah, sure," said Knuckles, playing along. This seemed a little too excessive, but he wasn't about to complain.

"Great!" said Vanilla, turning on her heel to lead the couple into the dining room and to a small table in the center, covered with a white curtain and lit by a candlestick with three candles. Knuckles noticed her skirt seemed to be a little shorter than it should have been and could see the very bottom of her rear jiggling slightly with each step. Catching himself, he forced his gaze upwards and guessed that her uniform must have come from her earlier teenage years when she was smaller. After being seated comfortably in a pair of finely crafted chairs, Vanilla flashed the two with a quick smile and informed them that their waiter would with them in a moment.

Once the rabbit left them, Knuckles snuck another peek at Vanilla's short skirt and looked back at Nicole to see if she had noticed. She hadn't and was instead glancing at something in front of her on the table. Looking down at his own side of the table, he saw a printed copy of a fancy Italian menu on the table. He repressed an embarassed groan. They really went all out on this one. A quick scan of the menu revealed to the echidna a long list of foods he couldn't pronounce let alone figure out what it might look like. And the prices... outrageous. He suddenly hoped that they didn't plan on charging him for the date. What kind of favor would that be?

Taking a sip of some ice water, thoughtfully put out for each, Knuckles coughed quietly and glanced about, waiting for their "waiter" to arrive. Nicole finished scanning the menu and rested with her elbows on the table and scratched her leg.
* * *

Watching from the shadows, Sally, Amy, and Vanilla shared some disapproving and piting looks. Sally was the first to speak the others' minds. "This is painful to watch. Talk! Look at each other! Something!"

Amy grimaced. "I've been on better dates."

"All three?" joked Vanilla.

"Oh yeah? When was the last time you had a date?"

Vanilla's eyes narrowed. "Are you calling me old?"

"Hush!" said Sally, "This isn't the time for your guys' squabble over vanity." Turning her attention to Vanilla she gave the rabbit an annoyed look. "And I told you that skirt was too short. Knuckles watched you twice when ole' Nicole wasn't looking."

"Really?" asked Vanilla, blushing as she tried to pull the skirt lower.

"Cut it out," snapped Sally in a hushed voice as she slapped the rabbit's hand. "That isn't helping."
* * *

Meanwhile at the table, Knuckles attempted some awkward conversation. "Er, they really outdid themselves, huh?"

"Yes," replied Nicole simply.
* * *

Back to the feminine trio, Sally pushed Amy forward. "Go on, before he can embarass himself any further."

"Alright, alright!" huffed the pink hedgehog.

After a moment, Vanilla spoke up shyly. "Did he, um, seemed pleased?"

"What?" asked Sally, quickly catching on to Vanilla's meaning.

"Well, was he... aroused?" Vanilla reworded.

"Don't tell me..."

"What? I just want to know if guys like him still find me attractive."

"Mrs. Rabbit, let me remind you he's sixteen and we're trying to help him score with Nicole."

"I know that! But... you know, after he's..."

"Just stop," said Sally, covering her eyes with unease.
* * *

At the table, Knuckles and Nicole straightened as Amy approached. Amy herself wore a tuxedo and fake moustache on her upper lip. This time Knuckles couldn't help but let out a small groan. "Good evening, Monsieur et Mademoiselle," greeted Amy in poorly articulated French. "I am Amy and I will be your garçon for ze evening," she continued in her terrible accent. "May I take your orders?"

"Er, yes," said Nicole, caught offguard for the first time by Amy's accent. "I'll take the... um, Carbonara dish."

Amy blinked for a moment, then resumed character. "My apologies, Madame, that dish is, uh, unavailable." Leaning over to Knuckles she informed him that she didn't know what that was. Giving an amused smile, Knuckles watched as Nicole glanced back at the menu. Chances were that Amy, Sal, and Mrs. V had only made one thing and the rest was for show.

"Er, how about the, uh, Panzanella?"

At this point, Amy dropped character and scribbled in a notepad, "Spaghetti it is." Turning to Knuckles, she asked, "and you, Monsieur?"

Knuckles could barely restrain his laughter. Chuckling as quietly as he could, Knuckles just waved a hand and replied, "the same."

"Very good, that will be out in a minute." Striding away as quickly and dignified as she could, Amy entered the kitchen.

"That is all they made, is it not?" Nicole questioned rhetorically.

"Yes," nodded Knuckles. "But, look on the brightside, at least they did something nice for us, right?"

"Of course," said Nicole, "I did not mean to seem rude, but I wish they had told us that in the first place."
* * *

In the kitchen, Sally and Vanilla were giggling uncontrolably. Amy ripped off the fake moustache and put her hands on her hips. "I bet you all thought that was pretty funny, huh?"

Unable to speak, Sal and Vanilla nodded.

"Well, next time, you can do it, Sally. Bet you wouldn't find it so funny."

Shaking her head, the chipmunk clapped a hand on the hedgehog's shoulder. "No, we drew straws and you got the waiter part. Fair is fair."

Suddenly stopping her laughter, Vanilla shot upright when the smell of smoke reached her nose. "Oh no! The pasta!"

Turning their collective gaze to the smoking pot on the stove, all three rushed forward to attempt to save the remaining pasta, knocking over a small glass in the process. Ignoring the shattered kitchenpiece, Sally attempted to grab the pot with her bare hands and immediately regretted it. Yanking her hands away, nearly knocking over the pot too, Sally flicked her wrists in pain and cursed frantically. "Holy shit that's hot! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Running her sore hands under the sink, Sally watched Vanilla lift the pot off the stove with a pair of oven mitts out of the corner of her eye.

"You were supposed to watch the food!" Amy scolded Sally.

Lifting the lid off, Vanilla glanced inside. "It's not too bad, there's just a little black near the edges," she informed the others.

Shutting off the water, Sally thought for a moment. "Okay, while Vanilla and I try to salvage some of the pasta, Amy, go and serve our guests some wine. The cheap stuff, not my private stash."

"Fine," said Amy, placing the moustache back on her upper lip upside down. Grabbing the bucket, filling it with ice, and shoving a bottle of cheap red wine into it, Amy grabbed a pair of wine glasses and stormed out into the dining room.
* * *

Back at the dinner table, Knuckles's nose twitched as he detected an alarming smell. Twisting around in his chair, he peered at the doorway to the kitchen. "Is something burning?" he wondered aloud. Not three seconds after he asked his question was it answered with a loud crash and what sounded like Sally swearing. Attempting to rise out of his seat and investigate, he was stopped by Nicole placing a hand on his arm.

Glancing back at the lynx, Knuckles sat back down as she spoke. "Let them take care of it, Red."

Knuckles appeared reluctant but gave in. "Alright," he said, simply.

Nicole leaned forward, "How about we talk about what might happen tonight?"

Knuckles shrugged. "Um, ok, I guess."

Nicole stuck a leg out ran her hand over it, giving him a rather nice view her long appendage. His slight fascination was interrupted by something prodding his inner thigh. Jumping, he pushed his chair back a few centimeters and stared at Nicole with a slightly disturbed expression.

"What?" she asked.

"Were you playing footsie with me?"

A confused look fell over Nicole's face. "No. Why?"

"Then what poked me?" Taking a look under the table cloth, he spotted Tails sitting sheepishly under the table. "Tails? What the hell are you doing down there?" He demanded, both immensely disturbed and uncomfortable. Nicole's head appeared on the other side and her eyes widened when she saw the little fox hiding under there.

"I'm, uh, um, supposed to be the table?" he offered uncertainly.

"No, you're not. Get out of there, ya little creep."

Hanging his head in shame, the fox crawled out and stood on the outside of the table to resume his ashamed walk.

Nicole herself was more than a little unnerved by the unexpected guest. "Good thing I wore panties tonight," she said.

Knuckles gave her a look.

"What? Usually I do, just tonight I thought I mi-"

"No, it's not that," Knuckles cut her off. "If he'd poked you, I'd understand. I'd still beat his ass, but I'd understand. But he poked me."

Nicole's expression was slightly disgusted. "You? That is extremely weird."

"No kidding."

Their discussion was interrupted by Amy's reappearance by their table. "Wine for the lovely couple?" she asked, and Knuckles noticed with some satisfaction that she had dropped her phoney accent.

"Yes, please!" he said, perhaps a bit too agreeably.

Placing the two glasses on the table, Amy began to fill the glasses, first Nicole's and then Knuckles's. While filling Knuckles's, Amy became distracted by Sally calling her name from the kitchen followed by "get in here!" Accidentally spilling nearly a cupful of the maroon liquid on the echidna's crotch (of all places), Knuckles yelped and bumped the table, knocking over Nicole's and splashing her with the alcohol. Turning her attention back to Knuckles, she narrowed her eyes and snapped rather uncharacteristically at him. "Oh, shut up! With any luck they'll be coming off soon anyways. Here." Placing the bottle on the table, Amy stormed back into the kitchen.

Knuckles shot an incredulous look at the hedgehog and back down at his soaking wet lap. "Does she have any idea how expensive this suit is?"

"That was your uncle's was it not?" asked Nicole.

"Yeah, but imagine if I had rented it?"
* * *

"What?" snapped Amy upon entering the kitchen once more, her patience long since burned out.

"The food's ready," said Sally, indicating two plates of spaghetti. One appeared normal, the other... well, it was edible.

"Fantastic," remarked Amy sarcastically.

"Hurry up and take it out to them before it gets cold."

Grumbling, Amy lifted the plates and took them back out the dining room and sat them before Nicole and Knuckles. "Bon appétit," she said sourly before heading back to the kitchen to sit down.

Knuckles glanced at his plate which was charred and still smoking in some places. "Uh," he drawled, not entirely wanting to dig into the substandard dish. He glanced back at the direction Amy had went, and after thinking it through, shrugged and scooped up a small portion of the crispy pasta. Taking a crunchy bite, he determined it tasted about as good as it looked. Noting his displeasure, Nicole thoughtfully offered part of her food. "Have some of mine, it is not quite as... well-done."

Knuckles hesitated then his stomach grumbled and he indicated his agreement with a smile. Sharing the plate, and sipping from their refilled wine cups, the two just ate and drank in silence. For the first time tonight, with no one bothering them, the could just enjoy each other's company and take in the setting. While Knuckles took an interest in a spot on the wall, Nicole happened to glance at the kitchen doorway and saw the heads of Amy, Sally, and Vanilla watching them. When eye contact was made, instead of ducking back into hiding, Amy and Sally both made repeated gestures for her to kiss him. She stared for a minute unsure whether to act on her friends' advice or just let Knuckles control the flow of the date. Knuckles glanced back at Nicole and noticed her staring somewhere behind him. Turning in his chair once more, he glanced back and saw Sally and Vanilla disappear behind the corner, while the slower Amy just waved at him until Sally's hand pulled her back in.

"They watching us?" he asked.

Nicole was startled out of her contemplation. "Er, it would appear so."

"Well, I guess they deserve that, after all they did set this up."

Knuckles was still working on a single string of spaghetti and his attention was still on just behind him. Locating the string he was consuming, Nicole speared it and began to chew on the other end, hoping to meet Knuckles at the middle. Unfortunately, he just happened to turn his head and inadvertedly broke the string. He did notice Nicole leaning forward and holding the short piece of the spaghetti strand in her mouth. Initally he was going to dismiss it until he thought he understood what Nicole had been about to do. "Oh, you want to put on a show for them, eh?"

Nicole swallowed the last bit and gave him a nervous look.

"I say, why not?" Rising from his chair slightly, Knuckles once again placed his lips over hers and kissed her softly. When he began to pull away, Nicole immediately placed her hands on the back of his head and pressed him back onto her. While Knuckles was considerably stronger than the hologram, he didn't put up much of a fight.
* * *

From the kitchen, the girls watched on both content and, to some extent, enviously. "Job well-done, girls. I think we can call Operation: Get Knuckles Laid a success," said Sally.

"You really need to come up with better names," said Amy.

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try, Pinkie," shot back Sally.

"She's pretty lucky isn't she?" commented Vanilla.

"She sure is," said Amy. "Wait. What do you mean?"

"Don't ask," responded Sally.

"Easy for you to say," said Vanilla. "You already slept with him."

"Really? You're going to bring that up now?"

Amy sighed. She really needed new friends.


Author's Note: Not much to say about this one. Except that, once again, my procrastination has gotten the better of me and it took a while to update. Anyways, thanks for reading and review if you liked this chapter... or review if you didn't. IDC, just say anything. Thanks, TheEpicTales.

Author's Note II: Alright, I went back and corrected all the spelling and grammatical errors I missed in my initial read-through, especially because this is probably the best chapter I've written in a long time. I am also pleased that many of you found this chapter rather humorous, considering up to this point it's been pretty much hit-and-miss. For the next chapter, I'd like to keep this light-heartedness and humor going as opposed to the very serious (well, kinda serious) tone I've been tackling this with since the very first chapter. Anyways, I'd like to take a moment to reply to a few reviews while I'm here. First off, thank you to Rocksmith and crazyty237, for reviewing, I know both of you have been following this story for a while now and it's nice to see you both sharing your thoughts. Next, to YourNigthmare, again, I always appreciate your reviews and I will address some of your thoughts here.

"Knuckles is ladies man now?" My response to this is, I think Knuckles has always been a bit of a ladies' man, he just never realized it. In my interpretation of his character, the idea that he is both handsome and attractive (not to mention sexy) has never occured to him simply because he has never received a compliment like this before. Remember, he was isolated on Angel Island for a long time (nearly a decade) and prior to that, lived with his dad. He has never had much experience in dealing with the opposite gender, which puts him at a disadvantage. Since women (at least, in my experience), very rarely speak what's on their mind, he has a hard time telling when a woman is interested in him unless they're very direct (such as Sally or Nicole). That said, he still has insticts and a normal sex drive for a teenaged male, hence why he snuck a few peeks at Vanilla. She's what's known as a MILF. "Even Vanilla wants some!" It has been awhile... "Holy hell HE is the BOSS!" Yes, yes he is. "My favourite part was Amy as a waiter" Thanks, I was going to have Sal do it, but I thought Amy would be better for the role. "they should start a restaurant "Only Spagethi" should be their name." What about ravioli? That's some good stuff. I'm not even sure what Carbonara is either, come to think of it. "Not gonna lie, didn't like all the "Maybe pregnant Sally" " I thought we already discussed this? No matter, it was poorly thought out, but it might... NO! No spoilers! "but you are coming back to the comical stuff..." When did I ever post something comical? I must be immune to my own sense of humor. At least some one thinks I'm funny... *to self: I don't think I was trying to be funny before...* "the good ol' "Two people dating without knowing how dating goes" " Yes, I canm presumably pull it off because I myself don't know how to date others properly. I've gone on, what? Three dates? "Keep up the good work!" I will, thank you. "Ciao!" To you as well.

Thirdly, to SargeTheMan, Random Guest, and (Generic) Guest thank you all for your reviews as well.

And finally to Sonicfan91, of course it's rather Out-of-Character, but it's also a crack couple, so did you really expect anything different? I will try and keep the new tone of the story as long as I can, but I do have a habit of screwing things up. Just ask my parents. Anyways, thanks for your review as well, and to all: see you in the next chapter (coming soon... probably)!