Okay, I feel horrible. I wrote this weeks ago and didn't even realize I didn't add it. I'd hate to just give it to you and the next one...I hope there are some reviews out there!
I received a review asking if the video was of Edward and Bella... I never even thought of that! LOL. Anyway, sorry to disappoint, but no. We're getting to see a little more of Bella's, er, wild behaviour.
I'm not in a porno, I'm not in a porno.
I'm in a porno.
My eyes were glued to the screen of my laptop, looking at the video. Yes, my mother was right. I was in a sex video – and no, it wasn't that celebrity. It was really me. And Cameron, a really hot, really sexy guy I used to go to school with. On any other occasion I would have found this arousing – say we were still dating and we watched with to get aroused. But no.
This time I remembered crystal clear.
He always made me sleep with him, no matter what. Cameron used to call it "the pimp privilege." He got to fuck around with me because he was prostituting me. On top of every other guy I had to mess around with, he always expected something: blowjob, hand job, all the way, whatever. I was never really proud of the teenage prostitution I was doing in Phoenix, but this just proved it even more. Anyone could see this. Anyone. I never gave him permission to shoot this, I never gave him permission to distribute it, either.
My teeth dug into my thumb, the heat of my face of anger now and not embarrassment.
I wasn't forced into prostitution – it was a decision. A bad one, yes, but my own nonetheless.
How it came about, I don't even know. It just happened. One moment I was at a party and the next I was on top of a guy I didn't know with bills shoved into my discarded jeans. It felt good, being able to have my own pleasure with more money in my pocket. I don't know how Cameron became my pimp, but he came to me one day and stated that he was going to run my "business." Things just happened. A didn't regret it – I had more money than I knew what to do with.
The only thing I regretted was last night. Where he made me feel so damn weak!
"I need a walk."
Ten minutes later I was wondering around "downtown."
Despite how much this place irked me I could admit the air was wonderfully fresh, the scent of trees very heavy. There'd be no business here. The thought popped in my head an di groaned at how painful it seemed. Shouldn't that be a good thing? That there's no prostitute options? I sighed, rubbing my temple. It's a good thing. I need to keep that dominating urge away. Maybe it would do some good, I thought.
Forks was quite bland besides how much land it covered: there were the few necessities around and many buildings I didn't see point to. But I guess it was kind of pretty. In a bland sense, of course. As I continued down the street, filled with few pedestrians, I heard a car slowing somewhere behind me. On instinct, I made my feet move faster as it jerked to a stop and go a glimpse of the front – a white car.
And uneasy feeling settled in my stomach and I walked faster, pulling my good forward to block more my side view.
"Bella!"
The sickening feeling disappeared; I filled with emptiness. An sickening emptiness. That voice better not belong to him, I thought as I turned around.
"Oh, fucking hell!" I moaned, whipping around and starting in the direction that I'd been headed. I couldn't take this anymore, a part of me realized. Having to see Edward right behind me was like a cold slap in the face. Could I not have some kind of peace to think and melt over everything wrong I'd done without running into the source of my new problems?
A part of me was burring with rage at this horrible possibility while another half was melting over him. When that unfamiliar vulnerability crept over me I picked up my pace. God, I hate this with a passion.
"No, Bella, just wait!" He sounded annoyed and much too close for my liking. Before I knew it a hand gripped around my arm and spun me to face him. His face was set in angry lines and for a second I felt intimidated, soon followed by intrigue. Edward looked just like I did when I was pissed.
Tossing the marvelling thoughts aside, I yanked my arm from his grasp and turned away again.
"Would you just listen?" he snapped, grabbing my arm and pulling me back again. It felt like my arm was ripped from its socket, he pulled so hard.
"Get your hands off of me or I'll have you arrested for harassment," I threatened, readying my free hand to slap him if he didn't back up soon. With a quick glance around I realized there was no one in sight, only buildings.
Well, no chance at yelling for help and making him seem like a rapist.
Edward snorted as the wind blew strands of gold into his eyes. "Do you really think I care?"
I looked pointedly to where his hand still gripped me like metal. "Obviously, or you would have let go by now," I replied dryly.
"You didn't mind me touching you last night."
I flinched at his words, a sick reminder of my mistake. "Th-hat was a mistake," I snapped.
"Ouch," he laughed, "that's harsh, Bella."
"Life's harsh."
An amused and teasing look crossed his face that made me want to vomit. "Oooh, you did you wrong?"
Whatever made me do it, I have no idea, but he did deserve it. He deserved it all. So what, we had a one-night stand? Shit happens, that I know. But a part of me wondered if I'd taken it far enough. With his words out of his mouth I took that opportunity to take charge. My free hand swung out to collide with the side of his face.
His neck lashed with the blow but it was the only movement. His body was rigid and he finally let go of me, taking a step back as his hand went to his face. There was a dark red mark on the left side of his face, standing out against his pale skin. I swallowed back the sudden lump of panic in my throat.
"I said not to touch me," I mumbled, turning around.
But before I got a few feet something hard slammed into my side, sending me into the brick wall of the building closest to us. A shocked gasp lodged in my throat on the impact my body made with the hard bricks. Something – or Edward – was holding me against the wall, my whole front pressed into the roughness of it. The right of my face was pressed uncomfortably against the brick.
"And I said to listen." He hissed right in my ear, voice nothing but unmasking anger.
It took a few moments for my mental awareness to finally kick in.
"Get off of me," I said calmly. I would give him this one chance and he better take it. When he didn't budge I drew in a deep breath and opened my mouth. "Rape!" I shouted, getting louder as I repeated it over and over. At any chance if someone saw us it would look like he was at least trying to get physical. That's all I could hold on to. "Rape! Rape!"
I must have gotten it out about ten times before he finally clamped a hand over my mouth. He's wrong if he thinks he is going to dominate me, I thought.
"Stop before someone hears you," he said.
With a sudden flash back to elementary school I licked his palm that covered my mouth. He grunted, releasing my mouth to wipe his hand on his jeans.
"Would you get off of me?" I demanded. "Otherwise..." I took in a loud breath, hoping he heard it, getting ready to yell again.
"Okay, okay." Edward pushed off me, and I sighed as I felt the weight releasing me. I pushed off the wall, the sudden rush of blood to face, chest and stomach painful. The side of my face felt gritty from where it had been rubbing.
Maybe someone witnessed that and I wouldn't have to tell my dad myself. Maybe someone had already called 911. But when I looked around it was evident that we were alone. And this was supposed to be the Main Street of Forks?
"You are a bastard, did you know that?" I asked casually, straightening my sweater and dusting the red residue off of it.
"I've been told," he said in a hard voice. "Your kind of bitchy, did you know that?"
"I don't even want to have this fucking conversation with you," I spat, turning around and heading in the direction of Charlie's. At least there I knew he couldn't follow me in.
Edward's feet slamming against the concrete as he ran up beside me and whirled to a stop, matching my pace. His voice was weirdly calm. "Can't me talk?"
"No," I said, like it should have been obvious.
"Look, last night was—"
"A mistake," I finished. "It was a mistake that I made. Its not going to happen again, so don't contact me or I will rip your balls off."
With that, I crossed the road – not bothering to look because of the lack of pedestrians – and walked as fast as I could back the Charlie's. The new safe zone.
