Open to Chris, now floating in orbit in a space suit.

"Previously, on Total Drama Planet, we took the Dramanauts out for a little mountain climbing," He said, "Or, to be truthful, a lot of mountain climbing. Tyler defied his rep by proving he is good at something athletic, while Bender struck up an alliance with Izzy. On the ride down, Courtney's long-forgotten-but-recently-reintroduced fear of all things green and slimy came back and saved the day when one of Jim's enemies attacked- again. However, though the day was won by the forces of sorta-good, the challenge was lost for the Robinsons when Owen's appetite got the better of him, resulting in his elimination. Who will be next? Find out right now, on Total…Drama…Planet!

Episode 8: Buggin' Out

One night, a group of mysterious figures crept into the hub. Due to the lack of light, all that could be seen of them were their silhouettes. The group branched off into two smaller groups, one going towards the rat hole and the other towards the Delux-o-tron. The bunch at the Delux-o-tron slid a card key into the lock, deactivating it. Once the door opened, they slipped in. Meanwhile, the figures at the rat hole had set a small winch and were lowering one down. As a flying pig's shadow flew across the light of the moon, the door to the Delux-o-tron opened again, and its intruders popped out, each carrying a bundle over their shoulders. The trespassers at the rat hole were busy meanwhile pulling large things out from the hole and tossing them into a large sack. One trespasser snickered, only to be smacked quiet by an accomplice.

Once they were done, they crept away into the night…

-TDP-

"Courtney? Couuurtneeey!"

Chiyo's cute little voice rang out across the hub the very next morning, as she and Harold and Tyler, looked out and around the field.

"Hey, Jim! You there!" Tyler yelled, looking into a hollow stump. He stuck his head his inside, only to pull it out as a face hugger latched on to it! "AAAAH!

As Tyler ran around screaming, Gwen walked out of the nearby grove of trees. She stared at the flailing wannabe jock for a few moments, watching as he raced around trying to get the alien off him, before shaking her head. One emergency at a time.

"There's nobody in the forest," She reported to the youngest college student, "You guys have any luck?"

Chiyo shook her head sadly. "No, I'm really worried. Where could they have gone…?"

"Are you guys missing teammates too?" Bridgette asked, coming up.

Gwen nodded, and began to count off her fingers. "DJ, Luigi, Courtney, Jim and Shantae are all missing. What about your team?"

"By our count, we've lost Duncan, Bon Bonne, Ashley, Bender and Lindsay," Bridgette replied, "None of them were in their beds, and we've already searched the rest of the Delux-o-tron. It's like they mysteriously vanished."

"Mystery, eh?" Fighter asked.

The three girls jumped.

"Where the heck did you come from?" Gwen asked.

"Have no fear, Encyclopedia Fighter's on the job!" Fighter continued without preamble, "For only twenty-five cents, I'll put all of my crime-fighting, mystery-solving skills to the test, and solve the case of the missing teamsters in the heart of the downtown hublands in a galaxy far far away!"

The girls stared at Fighter, trying to comprehend how it was possible for him to come up with that statement.

"Um, okay…" Bridgette said, her eyes darting as she tried to find an escape route. "Just wait here while I get my…wallet, yeah…"

Bridgette took off, leaving Gwen and Chiyo alone with Fighter. Fighter looked expectantly at them.

"Y'know, I think we need to, uh, dredge the river…" Gwen muttered, slinking off. "…or something…"

Once Gwen was gone, Chiyo decided to give it a try as well.

"I just remembered, I need to, um, umma…" Chiyo racked her brains for a finish. "…feed Tadakichi-san! That's right! I need to feed him!"

Chiyo ran off, leaving Fighter alone.

(Confessional)

"I can't believe I said that…" Chiyo sighed, "Tadakichi-san is my dog…but I left him on Earth! In America! I feel so stupid…" She began to hit herself. "Baka! Bakabakabakabakabaka!"

(End Confessional)

It wasn't too long before Chris appeared, ready to explain the rules of the latest challenge. The Dramanauts seated themselves onto the benches before the matter transporter before the host. They still had no idea where their teammates were, and only a sneaking suspicion of who was responsible.

"I suppose some of you have noticed a subtle difference in your teams," Chris greeted, "Quite a mystery, huh?"

"Don't worry, Chris," Fighter chimed in, "Thanks to Izzy's contribution, Encyclopedia Fighter's this close to figuring out who dunnit!"

Everyone, most notably Bridgette, Chiyo, and Gwen, looked at Izzy in shock.

"You gave him a quarter?" Bridgette asked, stunned.

"What can I say, I loooves a good detective story!" Izzy giggled.

"So far, I've decided that Farmer Higgens was in fact using an animatronic saschmo to make it look like the pier was haunted," Fighter continued, "All I need to do is find out who's been printing counterfeit place mats and…"

That was as far as Fighter got, as Black Mage rushed over to where the warrior was seated and slammed a knife into his forehead. Fighter fell over. Black Mage turned back to Chris.

"I believe you were saying something…" Black Mage prompted as everyone stared at him in horror.

"Um, thank you, Black Mage," Chris replied uncomfortably. Regaining his steam, he said, "Today's challenge forces you to deal with the most difficult part about being stranded on an alien planet; Dealing with your new neighbors! You're instructions are simple: Infiltrate a nearby alien camp and retrieve a few certain-" He did a finger quote. "-'belongings' and get out. The first team to do so will win a stay in the Delux-o-tron, while the second-placers will be sending someone away."

"But Chris, what about the people who are missing?" Chiyo asked, raising her hand.

"Don't worry about them, you'll find them," Chris assured, "Because they're the 'belongings' you need to find!"

Gasps and cries of shock went up all around, except for Black Mage, who really didn't care, and Fighter, who was still on the ground with a knife in his head.

"In other words, in order to win, you've got to free your teammates," Chris summarized, and frowned. "And by that I mean, get them away from the aliens, not 'free' them from this mortal coil…Black Mage."

Black Mage snapped his fingers in annoyance. "Killjoy."

"The aliens are camped out about half a mile east of here," Chris said, pointing. "Now get moving! There's no time limit, but I wouldn't dilly-dally if I were you; no telling what do to their prisoners of war…"

The Dramanauts quickly got to their feet and left. Once they were gone, Chris turned to the camera, smiling.

"While the 'rescue teams' make tracks, why don't we see how our captives are doing?" Chris suggested, "Be nice to see what level of panic their new predicament is sending them to."

-TDP-

The camera cut to Earthworm Jim, still asleep, only this time without a suit. The mutant worm had coiled up as he dozed, occasionally muttering "Nutlog" under his breath. There were several bars jammed into the ground around him, forming a makeshift cage.

-TDP-

Chris grimaced. "Wake up!"

-TDP-

Jim eye's leisurely opened. Smacking his lips, he looked around at the big, red, bug-like aliens walking around his cage. Just as he was going back to sleep, his eyes shot open with realization.

"Huh? Insectakens?" Jim gasped, "Oh no! While I've been getting a good night's sleep, these bug men must have attacked, and no doubt have taken the rest of my teammates and competitors captive! And to put a cherry on top, I've lost my suit! Oh, why does this keep happening!"

Jim began to cry, and as he cried he curled his wormy body around one of the bars.

"Wait a minute, I can't just lie here in my own personal pile of pathetic pity! I've got to do something about this!" Jim realized, "But first, I have to bravely engineer my own daring jailbreak! But how can I possibly escape from this treacherous prison without my suit?"

It was at that moment that Jim realized that he was already half-way out of the cage. With a somewhat mollified look on his face, he quickly crawled away.

(Confessional)

"What I don't get is how come none of them bugs heard Jim yellin' like that," Chef Hatchet commented, "Freak's as loud as truck horn, and three-times more annoying!"

(End Confessional)

Beam-Me-Up Scotties

At the edge of the Insectiken's camp, Bridgette, Izzy, and Heather popped up out of a large bush. They looked into the camp at all of the ramshackled buildings and tents, taking note of the bug-like aliens lurking about.

"Ugh," Heather gagged, "Would you look at those freaks? Of course Chris would find the ugliest monsters for us to deal with?"

"Let's try to sneak in quietly," Bridgette suggested at a whisper, "We're a small group, so they shouldn't notice us…"

"Hi, alien invaders!"

Both Bridgette and Heather stared as Fighter somehow materialized into the camp and began to strike up conversation with one of the guards.

"We're looking for some teammates that you might have captured," Fighter continued, "Are they in this campy-looking place somewhere?"

"Oh, sure," The guard replied earnestly, "We just brought some guys in just last night. You should be able to find them if you wander around enough."

"Thanks!"

"Problem is, now I've gotta capture you since you're an intruder. Hold on." the guard whistled, and several more guards came around, each one holding a nasty-looking spear.

Back in the bushes, Heather and Bridgette tried to come to terms with this latest development.

"Didn't we leave him bleeding at the hub!" Heather hissed angrily.

"I don't know!" Bridgette whispered back, "But we've got to do something before he gets hurt again! What do you think Iz- Where's Izzy?"

"Yeeeee-haw!"

Izzy came down from the sky, flipping and squealing giddily. She landed a drop kick on one Insectiken before landing an uppercut on another one. She then whirled about to give a third Zurg a roundhouse kick, sending him flying into another Zurg.

"Vamonos, muchacho!" Izzy declared, "Viva la resistance!"

"She's crazy!" The Zurgs cried, "Run for it!"

The Zurgs ran off, being chased by Izzy, who was yelling wildly.

(Confessional)

Izzy, who now had some bandages on her head and her arm in a sling, said, "Well, I saw those buggies pickin' on my buddy Fighter and I thought, 'I've seen all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!'" She giggled. "Man, I loooves doin' stuff like that!"

(End Confessional)

Danger Will Robinsons

At another part of the camp's edge, the remainder of the Robinsons were also scoping out their target. After staring at the big, red scary creatures patrolling the area, they ducked behind another bush for a pow-wow.

"Okay, we're outnumbered and in hostile territory," Tyler whispered, "But we gotta pull together if we wanna save Lindsay and the others," He pumped his fist. "We can do this!"

"Um, Lindsay's on the other team, remember?" Gwen reminded quietly.

"Luckily, I have a daring plan," Harold said, and reached into his pocket. Pulling out several sheets of tin foil, he folded one into a hat. "First, make yourselves a covering to protect your brain from mind-control rays."

Black Mage picked one sheet up and inspected it. "You want us to wear hats…made of aluminum."

"The only way to protect your brain!" Harold insisted.

"Who says you have one…" Black Mage muttered. Hearing this, Gwen suppressed a snigger.

"And now that our minds are control free," Harold said, "It's time to divulge the plan for our rescue mission! First, Tyler, you hold Black Mage so he doesn't stab me."

"Got it!" Tyler saluted, and put Black Mage in a hammer lock.

"Hey, leggo!" Black Mage protested.

While this was going on, Chiyo noticed something. Tugging Harold's pant leg, she said, "Um, guys…"

Ignoring her, Harold continued talking. "…After we initiate a delta scenario in a jackknife formation…"

"Guys?" Chiyo tried again, a bit more urgently.

"…We then move in with a sigma alpha maneuver…" Harold went on, only to be interrupted by Gwen.

"Harold, I have no idea what you're saying, and I'm pretty sure neither do you."

"Guys!" Chiyo semi-yelled. Everyone looked at her. "We've got company."

Looking up from their huddle, the remaining Robinsons saw that they were now surrounded by a plethora of Zurgs. The silent lull was filled with the clicking of weapons being cocked.

(Confessional)

"…And we would never have caught them if Zmeltzer in B company hadn't smelled their tin foil." A Zurg finished.

(End Confessional)

While the rescue teams were spearheading their infiltration of the alien camp, a great psychological torture was being implemented.

"I have to go to the bathroooom… I'm bored… I hungry…" Lindsay moaned from within a Lindsay-sized cage. In front of her, a zurg stood on guard, only the clutching of its weapon a sign of its mental duress. "I have to wash my haaaair… My lips feel dry…"

The zurg's left eye twitched. Then the right eye.

"My legs are tiiiiired… My throat is starting to huuuuurt…"

There was an audible snapping sound as the zurg's stress levels reached their limit.

"Shut up!" the zurg screeched, throwing his weapon down. "I can't take it anymore!"

Shocked, and maybe a little bit frightened, Lindsay shut her mouth. To her even greater surprise, the zurg undid the lock on her cage and threw the door open.

"There!" He yelled, pointing away from the cage. "Get!"

While Lindsay's mind wasn't developed enough to fully comprehend why this was happening, she managed to have enough grey matter to figure out what was basically happening.

"Thank you!" The ditz chirped, skipping off.

The zurg fell down onto his rear and sighed. "I'm gonna get a reprimand for this, I just know it."

-TDP-

Meanwhile, things were equally annoying in another cage elsewhere in the camp, but for an entirely different reason. That reason being Courtney and Duncan, whom neither of which were happy to find that they had been forced together again. Of the two, Courtney was most vocal in her objections to this arrangement, standing at the bars and yelling her head off. Duncan, meanwhile, lay on the other side, hands resting behind his head.

"…and the bars aren't even clean! Let us out!" Courtney yelled, "I'm going to say it again!"

"I'm sure he heard you the first six times, Courtney," Duncan commented sarcastically from his spot on the ground, "But why don't you give it another shot, just to be sure?"

Courtney gave Duncan a nasty glare before turning back to the zurg on guard duty. "Couldn't you at least put me in a different cage- away from him?"

The zurg, sitting on the ground and facing away from the cage, just ignored Courtney. The only sign it showed of actually hearing the type A's voice was turning the volume up on the portable TV set it watched. The Celebrity Manhunt theme was heard. This act of casual defiance did little to deflate Courtney's ire.

"Grr- Arg- Fine!" Courtney hissed, and went over to where the cage's lock was. She reached into her hair, only to realize that she didn't have the kind of hairstyle that needed hairclips. Aggrivated, she tried to pick the lock with her finger, which resulted in a minor boo-boo. Upon hearing Duncan sniggering, she gave him another glare. "You could help, Mr. Audition-While-Breaking-Out-Of-Juvie!"

Duncan shrugged. "In due time. Right now…" He faked a yawn. "I'm gonna catch some Z's."

(Confessional)

"Yeah, I couldn've busted out of that cage easily," Duncan explained, "But it was more fun to watch Courtney squirm."

(End Confessional)

Despite the fake yawn, Duncan really did fall asleep. As the punk dozed, Courtney once again tried to pick the lock, this time using a small twig lying within arm reach of the cage. After a few minutes of work, a sharp snap was heard. Her face brightening, Courtney pulled the twig out…only to see that it had broken. Grimacing, she turned around to where the delinquent was lying.

"Duncan, if you're not going to help, could you at least give me your knife so I can…" Courtney trailed off.

Duncan had turned over in his sleep, revealing a recently-dug hole where his body had been. It looked big enough for a person to fit through. Outside the cage, a sharp gust of wind blew over a pile of leaves, revealing a second hole. Courtney, for her part, did not blow her top. She probably wanted to, from the way her face scrunched up, (As an added bonus, the audio department included the sound of a kettle whistling) but before she could actually put the her fury into action, it suddenly vanished. She looked over to where the zurg was, and saw a key lying at its waist. Her face became unnaturally calm before twisting into something very Grinch-like.

-TDP-

"Jailbreak! Jaaaaillbreaaaaak!"

Duncan woke up from the sound of Courtney's voice, groggy and confused. Whatever daze he was in quickly ended when he realized that he was no longer inside the cage. Rather, he was lying just behind the TV-watching zurg!

Unfortunately, the zurg had realized that at the same time. Calling upon his experience with prison guards on Earth, Duncan pursued the only avenue available to him- he bolted.

"Come back here!" The zurg yelled, chasing after him.

Courtney watched them go. Once they were out of sight, she opened the cage door, casually twirling the key.

"That was so worth the trouble of dragging Duncan's body out." She commented.

(Confessional)

"After Izzy's little fit at the edge of camp, Bridgette and I lost track of Fighter," Heather reported, "Thank god…that moron is so stupid I can feel my own mind implode when he talks. Note to self: take back any dumb-cracks directed at Lindsay."

(End Confessional)

Heather and Bridgette crept around the camp, darting between tents whenever they were sure that no one was watching. Luckily enough, there seemed to be some kind of disturbance, as the zurgs were too busy moving around to notice the two girls.

"What do you think is going on?" Bridgette asked, peeing out behind one tent.

"Who cares?" Heather grumbled, "It's probably the Psycho-hose beast. Let's just find the rest of our team and get out."

Bridgette peered around again, and then pointed. "Look!"

"What? You see someone?"

"Not exactly…"

Heather looked to where Bridgette was pointing and saw it. Jim's supersuit, standing upright in the middle of a clearing. There was no sign of the worm himself.

Heather smiled wickedly. "Perfect. Let's grab it."

"Grab it? What for?" Bridgette asked.

Heather was already tiptoing over to the suit. "Think about it. We're in a camp full of monsters hired by Chris. I'd feel a whole safer if I had some kind of protection, wouldn't you?"

While Bridgette had to concede to Heather's point, there was still one more concern. "Do you think you can work it?"

Heather shrugged dismissively. "Please. If that idiot Jim can wear this stupid thing, I'm pretty sure I can too."

It was at that moment that Heather was made aware of a dissenting opinion. The suit, with no head in the cockpit, stuck out one arm and pushed the mean girl aside, knocking her down. Before she or Bridgette could react or comment, the suit walked off, crashing through the wall of a shack nearby as it did.

"What just happened?" Bridgette asked, staring at the large suit-shaped hole that had been made.

"Hey! What was that noise?"

Bridgette gulped, grabbed Heather, and dragged her behind the shack. They managed to get out of sight just before a pair of zurgs showed up to inspect the area.

"What the…where'd the suit go?" One zurg asked, bewildered.

"I knew we shoulda had someone watch it." The second zurg sighed.

Annoyed, the first zurg waved around. "Spread the word! Search the camp! I don't wanna tell the queen we found and lost her suit in the space of a day!"
As the two zurgs ran off to do their work, Bridgette and Heather exchanged looks.

"Queen?" Bridgette asked.

Heather shrugged. "With our luck, these freaks are more of Jim's weirdo enemies. But who cares? We need to…"

"Babuuuuu?" a voice mewed inquisitively.

The girls froze. It came from the shack!

"Bon Bonne, is that you?" Bridgette asked.

"Babuu!" the voice replied eagerly.

With catlike tread, Bon Bonne crashed his way out of the shack, making a second hole adjacent to the one the suit had made.

Bridgette smiled. "That's one down."

Bon Bonne, happy to see his friends again, pulled the girls into a hug.

Heather's eyes bugged out and began to tear up. "Spine…breaking…!"

Danger Will Robinsons

As one zurg led the Robinson rescue team deeper into the camp, Harold pulled his teammates together for a mini-huddle.

"I've got a daring plan to get us out of this," Harold said, "Do what I say, and we'll be home free."

Black Mage sighed, and reached into his robes. The others leaned in so they could hear what Harold had to say. While Chiyo and Tyler seemed ready to listen, Gwen had her usual unenthusiastic expression. She obviously wasn't expecting any brilliant tactics from the geek.

"First, Chiyo, you distract him with your innate precocious cuteness," Harold began, "And while the guard gushes about you, Gwen, you throw him off balance with some of your grim, gothic poetry."

"Cuteness and poetry?" Gwen asked, if only to see if such a combination of words could actually be said.

"With his mind reeling from the contradictions, I'll knock him down with a sweep kick, were Tyler will pin him, giving us time to get his weapons." Harold finished.

"Hey, guys, little help here." Black Mage interrupted. Everyone looked up to see that the zurg now had several knives jammed into his body. "I'm having trouble getting through his exoskeleton. If anyone wants to join in, now's the time."

The zurg advanced, looking slightly peeved off at Black Mage's murder attempt, a red blur tackled into him. The upshot of was that the force of the tackle pushed the blades in further, completing the kill. The downside of was who did the tackling…for Black Mage, at least.

"Hey guys, didn't see you there," Fighter greeted. He looked down at the dead bug and asked, "Is he okay?"

"I think…" Chiyo began when Black Mage cut in.

"He's fine," Black Mage said, "Just taking a nap."

"…He's bleeding."

"Bug-men bleed when they nap," Black Mage lied, "Didn't you know that?"

"No," Fighter admitted, "But then again, I don't know much about bug-men."

"So why shouldn't they bleed while napping?" Black Mage asked, throwing his arms out.

"That is completely logical!" Fighter exclaimed, with his 'I learned something new' face on.

"Fighter, have you seen our teammates?" Gwen interrupted.

"Nope," Fighter answered, "Haven't seen anyone except that belly-dancer with the pony tail, the green guy with the mustache, and the big black guy."

"Uh, that's good to know, thanks." Gwen replied awkwardly. She turned to the others and said, "Let's go."

As the Robinsons left, Fighter called out, "Oh yeah, and don't tell anyone because it's supposed to be a secret!"

"There he is!"

"Whoop!" Fighter cried, and ran off, chased by a pair of zurgs.

-TDP-

In another part of the camp, Duncan still was being pursued by some zurgs. In fact, several more had joined in on the chase; Every time the delinquent had ducked behind a tent in order to elude the insectikens resulted in stumbling upon another zurg. By now there was an even dozen of zurgs forming the mob behind him.

"What I wouldn't give for a weapon…" Duncan muttered, before realization hit. He smacked his forehead in annoyance. "Doy, I do have a weapon!"

Reaching into his pocket, Duncan stopped and faced the zurgs chasing him. He quickly whipped out Jim's ray gun and pointed it at the mob.

"All right bugs, listen up!" He yelled, "Unless some of you wanna get a few holes in your heads, I suggest you back off!"

The zurgs stopped, and regarded the gun Duncan held for a moment. Then, the zurg at the head of the pack pointed and clutched his head.

"Quick! Run for it, men!" It screamed, "Run for your lives!"

The zurgs did a one-eighty and fled, leaving Duncan somewhat confused at the speed the situation changed at.

"Oh…kay…" The teen muttered. He rebounded easily enough, yelling to the fleeing mob, "Yeah, you better run- Is that a cattle stampede?"

Duncan barely had time to comprehend the sound of heavy footsteps he heard when another pack of zurgs trampled him from behind. Not long after they passed, Izzy came bounding after them, snarling and whooping like a ranch-hand with rabies.

"Yah! Giddyap, little buggies!" She shrieked, "Ruff, ruff, Whoo! Oh, hey Duncan!"

(Confessional)

Duncan, now sporting several bandages on his face, grumbled, "I don't know what hurts more- the footprints, or the fact that those bugs were more scared of Izzy than my gun! I mean, I know Izzy's pretty messed up- she blew up a mounties' camp, dude!- but seriously, this is a pretty big ray gun."

Duncan took out the gun and gave it a spin. As he did so, it went off, causing the screen to turn to static.

(End Confessional)

Bridgette and Heather were still on their own when they heard someone crying.

"Who's that?" Heather asked disdainfully, "Sounds like a little girl who lost her dolly."

Bridgette pointedtowards a shack. "It's coming from in there."

The two girls went into the structure. Once inside, they saw the source of the sobs- a disembodied robot head on a book shelf.

"Bender?" Bridgette asked, taking the head. "What happened to you?"

Bender's stifled his sniffling, looking up at the tofu-chick. "Oh, it was awful! First they took my arms, and tossed them over there! Then they took my legs and tossed them over there! Then they took my torso and tossed it over there!"

"Which means you're even more useless than usual," Heather snorted, annoyed. "Perfect."

Bender stopped crying and shot Heather a glare from his place in Bridgette's arms. "Oh, bite my shiny metal ass!"

Heather, not about to take any lip from a head, grabbed Bender y his attena and held him up to her face. "I can't. You don't have it anymore, remember?"

"Hey, who's talking to the robot head?" An unknown voice, but most likely a zurg's, asked from outside.

"Guys, maybe we should focus on staying alive and un-caught?" Bridgette asked, shoving Heather out the other door. "Just a thought?"

(Confessional)

"We later found Bender's body parts in a workshop,"Bridgette explained, "His torso was being used as a stool, his arms were holding up a table, and his legs were acting as a carjack holding up someone's Studebaker."

(End Confessional)

Meanwhile, at the camp beautician…

"…And then the Queen won the election because no one else ran against her." The beautician, who looked like a normal zurg, said, finishing up on Lindsay's nails.

Lindsay held up a nail for closer inspection, and smiled. "Democracy is fascinating!" she said, demonstrating the ability to pretend you understand the subject matter because it's good manners. A thought occurred to her. "But, if your queen is elected now, wouldn't that make her President?"

"She wants us to call her Queen."

"What if you don't?"

"Capital punishment."

"Ohhhh…" Lindsay nodded, somewhat mollified. She glanced at the ground. "Hey, Jim!"

"Hey, Lindsay." Jim replied, crawling past.

-TDP-

Elsewhere, Gwen, Tyler, Harold, Black Mage and Chiyo were once again sneaking around. So far, their search for their kidnapped teammates had amounted to the discovery of several open cages.

"This is stupid, it's obvious they don't need our help," Black Mage grumbled, "Let's go back to our camp and raid the deluxe-o-tron's fridge."

"Do you want to get voted off?" Gwen asked testily.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I would!" Black Mage hissed, "Nothing would make me happier than to-"

"Hey, guys." Shantae greeted.

"Hey, Shantae," Black Mage responded casually, before saying, "Nothing would make me happier than to- Where did you come from!"

Shantae shrugged. "I picked the lock with my ponytail. Been looking for a way out, but all of the exits are guarded."

"What's that in your hair?" Chiyo asked, pointing at the end of Shantae's ponytail. There were several gears and such snagged in the strands.

Shantae glanced. "Yeah, couldn't really get my 'tail out of the lock that easily…"

Black Mage sighed, and pulled out a knife. Seeing this, Shantae shrieked, turned away quickly, and whipped her ponytail out. The end with the lock bits hit Black Mage in the face, causing them to shatter to tiny bits, falling out.

"I was going to cut your hair!" Black Mage groaned, rubbing the sore spots.

"Oh…sorry."

-TDP-

Courtney (Remember her?), meanwhile, had found DJ, stuck in a cage similar to the one Lindsay was in. Unfortunately, the key to the cage wasn't around. To that end, Courtney attempted to pick the lock while DJ tried to bend the bars apart. However, the bars were made of a steel alloy stronger than anything DJ had dealt with before, and the lock's gears were too strong for a mere hairpin.

"Oh, this is hopeless!" Courtney grumbled, throwing her umpteenth broken pin to the ground.

DJ had a similar opinion, falling back against one of the cage's walls. "Yeah, I can't do anything to this thing…"

Courtney pouted, trying to think. An idea came to her. Putting on a scared expression, she pointed inside the cage. "DJ, there's a snake in there!"

"Augh!" DJ shrieked, and smashed out of the cage. He fell to the ground from exhaustion.

Courtney patted his head. "You're out."

"Nah…not cool, woman…" DJ moaned.

"Now, I think I saw some of the others sneaking around," Courtney said, looking up. "We need to find them, create a united front (With me in charge, of course), and…"

Courtney trailed off when she saw Fighter ("Wheee!"), Izzy ("Yeehaw!"), and Duncan ("(BLEEP)!") Run by, chased by a small army of zurgs.

"…Yeah," Courtney said at last, "Let's just ignore that."

"Ignore what?" DJ asked, his face muffled by lying against the ground.

"Let's just go." Courtney grumbled, and began to drag DJ away- or try to, anyway. The Canadian-Jamaican was pretty heavy.

(Montage song: Yakkety-Sax, by Boots Randolph)

Gwen, Harold, Tyler, Black Mage, Shantae and Chiyo are running around when they disappear behind an impossible skinny tree. A zurg walks past the tree, looks around, and walks off. The four poke their heads out from behind the other side of the tree, as if appearing from an extra-dimensional space.

Another zurg, armed with a gun, is running past another set of tents. He comes across Bender, Bridgette and Heather. All three are wearing sunglasses. The zurg holds up wanted poster with a picture of Jim's suit on it, and the three point to their left. As soon as it leaves they start laughing.

Somewhere else, Lindsay is running around looking very anxious. She sees an outhouse, and rushes towards it. She opens the door- and finds Ashley sitting inside, reading a newspaper. The little witch gives Lindsay an annoyed look and closes the door. Lindsay goes to a second outhouse right next to the first, opens it to find Red, also reading a newspaper. Now sweating bullets, Lindsay moves on to a third outhouse; This time there's an 'Out of Order' sign sticking out of the toilet. Desperate, Lindsay throws the sign away and shuts herself inside.

We cut to two lines of three tents seen vertically. Izzy rushes out from the top tent of the left side and runs down to the bottom tent on the right. Then Duncan comes from the right-middle and runs towards the left. Then Fighter comes out from the left-bottom and heads towards the right-middle, as Duncan comes out from the top-tight to the middle-left, chased by a zurg. Pretty soon all four characters are running around, with more and more zurgs joining in. Soon the entire scene is filled with zurgs. No one notices Jim crawl by.

Cut to Courtney and DJ sneaking around. They duck behind a barrel as a zurg passes by. Once it leaves, they pop up- only Jim's suit is with them. The suit pulls Courtney into a hug, putting her in intense pain. DJ tries to get the suit off, but has no luck. A sign reading 'Out of Order' hits Courtney in the face, and the suit lets go in confusion. As Courtney falls to the ground, DJ quickly grabs her and runs.

(End montage)

In the direct center of the camp was a large clearing. Shantae, Black Mage, Gwen, Harold, Tyler, and Chiyo ran into from the east. Bridgette, Bender, and Heather came in from the west. Courtney and DJ rushed in from the south. Duncan, Izzy, and Fighter went in from the west. Of note, none of the aforementioned parties were aware of the others.

CRASH!

And then they were. Of course, no one was concerned with this as they were with untangling their bodies from the pile-up that had occurred.

"Don't you people look where you're going?" Courtney demanded from somewhere under Shantae's hair.

"Like you're one to talk," Duncan grumbled, and then remembered what Courtney did earlier. With a sinister smirk, he pinched a lady's leg.

"Ow!" Bridgette shrieked, "Who did that?"

"Uh, oops," Duncan mumbled.

It took a few minutes of rearranging, like an intense game of Twister played in reverse, but eventually, the Dramanauts managed to get themselves upright.

"Hail, hail, the gang's all here!" Fighter cheered.

"Does that mean we can leave?" Black Mage asked.

"But…we still need to find Luigi…" Chiyo mumbled.

"Hey, paisanos." Luigi greeted, walking up.

"Luigi!"

"How'd you get out of your cage?" Harold asked.

Luigi waved a wrench. "They didn't take my tools. I broke the lock with old 7/8ths."

"Now can we go, then?" Black Mage demanded.

"Well, our team is still missing members, like Bon Bonne." Bridgette said.

"Babuu!" Bon Bonne popped out of nowhere and pulled DJ, Heather, Courtney, Duncan, Izzy, and Black Mage into a hug.

"Never mind, he's right there," Bridgette said, doing her best to ignore the sound of bones cracking. "We're also missing Ashley."

Silence followed, save the sound of Bon Bonne's hug victims falling to the ground.

"I said, we're still missing Ashley." Bridgette repeated, a bit confused.

"I heard you." Ashley said, making every jump.

Heather pulled herself up, trying to ignore the pain coursing through her body. "Now can we go?"

"Don't count on it!" A new, sinister voice said.

The Dramanauts looked to see who had spoken. To their shock and subsequent disgust, up crawled a giant fusion of bug, slug, and centaur, with the slug half squirming and writhing like water in a boiling pot. The image was not a pleasant one. The bug half upper-torso was humanoid, clutching a scepter in its right mandible. A zurg was next to it, standing to attention.

"Behold," The zurg said, "Our ruler, the great Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt!"

"That is…" Gwen gulped, trying to keep the bile down. "…way too descriptive."

Tyler slapped his hand over his mouth. "I think I just threw up in my mouth!"

"O queen," The zurg said, looking up to her…majesty. "These are the Earthlings we captured for that reality show."

"Indeed," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt said, and pointed her scepter at the group. "Tell me where Earthworm Jim and his supersuit is, humans, or I will have you thrown into the dungeon!"

Bender raised his hand. "Uh, I'm not human. Does this mean I won't get thrown in as well?"

"No, it means we'll fire you into it from a cannon!" The Queen snapped.

"Aww, crap." Bender muttered.

"We don't know where Jim is," Luigi spoke up, "We haven't seen him all day!"

"What a shame," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt gestured wildly. "Take them away!"

"Not so fast!"

Earthworm Jim, still bereft of his supersuit, crawled onto the scene and put himself protectively between the Dramanauts and Queen Slug-for-a-Butt.

"If you want to harm my fellow reality show contestants, you'll have to go through me, first!" Jim yelled.

Slug-for-a-Butt shrugged. "Fair enough."

As Queen Slug-for-a-Butt began advance on the assembled Dramanauts, Jim began to sweat.

(Confessional)

"You know," Jim commented, "Leaping in to save the day is a lot easier when you really big muscles or a huge ray gun."

(End Confessional)

The Dramanauts could only watch, frozen in fear and the knowledge that they were surrounded as Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Malformed Slug-for-a-Butt moved in for the kill.

"I knew this stupid show would kill me one day," Bridgette gulped, "But I didn't think it'd be like this!"

"Ye-heh-heah!" Izzy grinned, "An alien bug queen? Talk about a plot twist!"

Before the Queen could crawl another step, she stopped in a jerking manner. Confused, she looked back a saw a familiar set of hands on the end of her slug-butt. She had seen her assailant many times before, but usually it had an earthworm in it.

"Oh, there it is," Slug-for-a-Butt noted, staring at the supersuit. "I was wondering where it went to. Whover's in that thing, release my pulsating, bloated, festering, malformed, slug for a butt right now, or suffer the conseq-!" The Queen's tirade/threat was cut off by the supersuit effortless flinging her into the horizon. "AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!"

Both the dramanauts and the zurgs watched as Queen Slug-for-a-Butt became a speck in the distance.

"Quick!" Gwen hissed, "Let's run for it while they're distracted!"

With those wise words in mind, the Dramanauts and the super suit quickly shuffled away as quietly as they could. It wasn't until that they were off-screen did a zurg realize what was happening.

"Hey!" the zurg yelled, "Get back here! We don't know if we can let you go yet!"

-TDP-

As the Dramanauts fled into the forest back to the hub, a thought occurred to Bridgette.

"So," Bridgette said between strides, "It saved us."

Courtney, running next to her, responded with, "We're saved."

"The suit."

"The suit."

"The suit saved us."

"The suit saved us," Courtney replied, getting annoyed. "Do you hear me complaining?"

"But who's wearing the suit?" Bridgette asked, glancing at the suit as it jogged next to Courtney.

Courtney's response died in her mouth when she realized that Bridgette had a point. With Jim crawling just ahead of them (Making good time for a legless mutant), that meant there was no one else who could be wearing it. But before she could think any further on the subject, a green, gooey head popped out of the suit's collar and gave Courtney a lick.

"AAUUGGHH!"

-TDP-

The sun was beginning to set when the Dramanauts had managed to return to the hub. They would have been back sooner, but Fighter required constant explanation that the old adage of moss growing on the north side of a tree didn't necessarily count on alien planets.

"I can't believe Chris would give us to a bunch of aliens." Luigi complained as they entered the camp site. Gwen, who had much more experience of Chris' sadistic whims, gave a short, sarcastic laugh. She knew better.

"Well, at least we're all back in one piece." Chiyo said, falling to the ground in exhaustion. Being the smallest and youngest, she had great trouble keeping up with the rest of the competitors, and had almost collapsed more than once.

"Yup, we're all here," Fighter proclaimed, demonstrated the fascinating ability to ignore tiring effects of physical exertion. "Except Lindsay."

Everyone looked at him.

"What?" Gwen asked, because someone had to.

"Lindsay's not here. Didn't you guys notice?" Fighter asked back.

There was a quick look around to confirm Fighter's statement. Lindsay wasn't around.

"Oh my god, we must have left Lindsay back at the bug camp!" Courtney gasped, her voice scratchy from her phobic screech.

"W-w-we gotta go get her!" Luigi gulped.

"Get who?" Lindsay asked, walking onto the scene.

Everyone looked at her.

"Lindsay! You're alive!" Tyler cried happily.

"Don't worry, I can change that." Black Mage muttered, reaching into his robes. He was promptly restrained by DJ and Duncan.

"She got here hours before any of you did," Chef Hatchet explained as he and Chris walked up, "Girl just wandered into camp without a care in the world."

"Or a clue." Chris added, exchanging a high-five with Chef.

Shantae pushed her way to the front of the pack. "Chris, did you really give us to those evil bug people?"

"Technically, it was more of a lend," Chris pointed out, holding up a finger. "And, before any of you get upset, I would like to have you read clause 23 on your contract."

Chris held out a stack of papers to Shantae, and the belly-dancer snatched it away with her pony tail. Taking it in her hands, she began to flip through the pages.

"All right, let's see here…" Shantae muttered, "Supposed to eat anything that isn't immediately fatal...eliminated at any known point, blah blah blah… Okay, found it, the challenge clause."

The Total Drama regulars, well used to Chris McLean's contractual machinations, could only grimace in anticipation.

"This is going to be so disheartening." Harold sighed.

"'All challenges contestant can survive…'" Shantae began to lose steam. "...'are perfectly fine so stop whining'?" She looked up at Chris and muttered, "You must feel very smug, don't you?"

"A little," Chris admitted cheerfully, and clapped his hands together. "Now it's time to decide the winners of the event."

"We've been through so much already," Bridgette pointed out, "Can't we…I don't know, call it a draw for once?"

"Yeah, let's just call it a mulligan or something." Luigi added helpfully.

"Nope!" Chris replied, "And now, for my ruling. Let's see…" He tapped his stubble thoughtfully. "The challenge was for one team to make it back first…Lindsay got back first, but without her team…and everyone else got here at the same time…I declare the Beam-Me-Up Scotties the winners of the event!"

The Scotties, save Ashley, cheered. They crowded around Lindsay, grabbed her, and began to throw her up in the air. The Robinsons just watched sullenly. The weight of another defeat heavy on their shoulders.

"Everyone, make some confessionals, and Robinsons meet me at the teleporter for the elimination ceremony," Chris said, raising his voice to be heard over the hullabaloo, "And those of you who were kidnapped for the challenge, please, take some showers! For god's sake, you stink of evil bug people!"

(Confessional)

Shantae, fresh from the shower and drying her hair with a towel, said, "On this show, getting eliminated isn't so much a loss as it is a consolation prize."

(End Confessional)

Inside the Delux-o-tron, Bridgette sat on the couch, watching as Bender pulled a seemingly never-ending supply of random odds and ends from his chest cabinet.

"Stupid insetikens, fill me up with their crap," The robot grumbled, tossing out one last gadget. "I'm glad they're gonna be extinct before the 31st century!"

Bridgette caught the tossed thingy, which looked like Cthulu's can opener, and asked, "Those bug things are going to die out?"

"Yup," Bender confirmed, shutting his door. "Right around the same time as your cows."

Bridgette grimaced. Knowledge of the future was a terrifying thing.

Danger Will Robinsons

It was night time, and as expected, the Robinsons were seated at the matter transporter of Failure, waiting to hear which one of them would be sent away. Chris stood before them, the tray of space rocks standing beside him.

"You've all cast your votes," Chris said, "But unfortunately, due to a freak accident in the shuttle's confessional, they were all lost."

"What?" Gwen asked, unbelieving.

"I know, I know," Chris said, holding up his hands appeasingly. "don't ask, couldn't tell ya."

(Flashback)

Duncan stumbled out of the confessional, his face blackened by soot.

"What happened?" Chris demanded, shocked.

Duncan hastily shoved Jim's ray gun into his pocket. "Couldn't tell ya, don't ask."

(End flashback)

"So, you're just gonna have to vote again," Chris said, and smiled. "But with a twist!"

On cue, Chef wheeled out the Wheel of Elimination. The Robinsons groaned.

"Not that stupid wheel again…" Luigi moaned, covering his face.

"Hey, statistics say viewers love wheels," Chris defended, "And who am I to argue with statistics?"

"You're not even pretending to care what we think anymore, are you?" Courtney accused.

"Now, calm down," Chris said, holding up his hands. "I wouldn't dream of denying the show its most dramatic sequence. Allow me to explain; You'll each be allowed to spin- and stop- the wheel however you see fit. The face it lands on will be your vote. So, you do have some control over your votes," He grinned. "Just not too much."

"If it helps, I would love to disqualify myself." Black Mage offered, standing up. Several of the other Robinsons voiced their approval.

"Sorry, dude, doesn't work that way," Chris replied, "Spin the wheel."

Grumbling, Black Mage took hold of the wheel's edge and gave it a spin. After a few minutes of spinning, he grabbed it again, only to be sent flying into the campfire. While the vile one screamed in burning agony, Chris observed what space the arrow was pointing at.

"Hmm…Looks like a vote for Chiyo," He noted, and gave the precocious girl a sympathetic look. "Tough luck, kid."

Meanwhile, Black Mage leapt up and began to run around, still screaming. His blue robes were now on fire.

Ignoring that, Chris said, "Who wants to g next?"

And so each Robinson went and gave the wheel a spin, trying to make it turn slow enough so they could control which space it landed on. That didn't work too well, as the wheel apparently had its own motor that caused it to build up speed. All the while Black Mage continued to suffer from the flames. By the time the last Robinson (Tyler) had spun and stopped the wheel, the murderous wizard had collapsed, still aflame. He still screamed, but his voice sounded weak and hoarse.

"Okay, that's…Black Mage," Chris said as the wheel stopped, "Which means we have a tie between him and the lovely miss Shantae. Which means…" He frowned and sniffed. "Does anyone smell bacon?" Glancing at the still roasting form of Black Mage, he waved. "Yo, Chef, Would you mind…?"

Chef Hatchet walked up with a large bucket in his hand. Tipping it over, he poured a large pile of sand onto Black Mage, smothering both him and the flames.

"…Thank you." Black Mage said, his voice muffled from the grains.

"'Kay, now as I was saying," Chris said nonchalantly, "We have a tie score of votes between Shantae and Black Mage, which means we need to have a tie-breaker. Luckily, we at Total Drama, inc. always have an special game ready for our special competitors."

Black Mage stood up from the sand pile. "We could kill you and the see who inflicts the most damage." He offered.

"I like the sound of that." Gwen commented.

Ignoring the two of them, Chris continued. "This one is quite simple. Since the normal challenge involved big bugs, the tie-breaker will have little bugs."

"Little? You mean normal-sized?" Black Mage asked, raising an eyebrow.

"For your given definition of normal, yes." Chris replied.

"Um, before we start, can I be excused for a minute?" Shantae asked, standing up. "I need to use the restroom."

Chris nodded. "Go for it. We need a minute to set up anyway. You have T-minus 180 seconds…GO!"

There was a sound of a starting pistol going off and Shantae bolted away from the matter transporter.

-TDP-

Shantae slowed to a walk as she reached the outhouse. Just then the door swung open, and Ashley stepped out. An instrumental version of her theme from Warioware: Twisted began to play.

"Oh, it's you," Shantae said, and looked around for the source of the music. Shrugging, she said, "I just needed-" Ashley stepped aside and held the door open for her. "Thanks."

As Shantae went about her business, Ashley sat down in the grass. Red came up and gave her a cup of hot cocoa. The witch hid it behind her back when Shantae came out, relieved.

"Well, I have to get back to elimination," Shantae said, "It's a tie-breaker between me and Black Mage."

"It's going to get worse from here." Ashley replied, and walked off.

Shatae stared after her, then looked at her feet.

Danger Will Robinsons

When Shantae got back to the matter transporter of failure, there was now a large tub on the ground. Inside the tub were hundreds, maybe thousands, of tiny black beetles. The air was filled with the incessant clicking noise they made.

"Took your sweet time, ponytail," Chris said as way of greeting. "I was just about to write you off as a no-show. But now that you're here, we can begin the EPIC tie-breaker!

"You see in this tub are about…1, 476 bugs. Somewhere amid this mass of creepy-crawlies is a single red beetle. Find it, and you're back in the game. Don't, and it's the loser pit on the Total Drama space station."

"That doesn't sound very epic." Harold commented.

"And, if no one finds red beetle within three minutes, the tub will explode," Chris finished, and chuckled. "How's that for epic, huh?"

(Confessional)

"I'll admit, I've got a thing for explosions," Chris admitted, "I try to stick as many detonations as I can in each episode."

(End confessional)

"Bug hunt begins…" Chris chopped his hand down. "…Now!"

A counter at the bottom-right corner of the screen began to count down from three minutes, but neither Shantae nor Black Mage moved.

"I said 'Now'," Chris said, annoyed. "C'mon, hop to it."

"Yeah, that's going to happen." Black Mage muttered, glaring at the bug tub. He didn't mind insects, but wanted to be eliminated.

Shantae, meanwhile, began to tentatively feel around the bugs. The other Robinsons were quick to cheer for her.

"C'mon, Shantae!"

"You go, girl!"

"Find that bug!"

But Shantae didn't hear them. Ashley's earlier words were stuck firmly in her mind.

It's going to get worse from here…

Shantae bit her lip. How much worse?

"Two minutes left, and still no bug," Chris reported, "And while Shantae has begun her search, Black Mage has yet to even approach the tub."

"I take no chances." Black Mage replied, filing his nails on a knife.

Tyler looked at Jim in confusion. "Didn't we take his knife away?"

Shantae kept digging through the bugs, but was not making much of an effort. Get worse… get worse…

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw something red.

"One minute left!" Chris announced.

Shantae stared. There it was; The red beetle. And it wasn't even moving. She could pick it up, and win the challenge. But as she reached for it, the word echoed in her mind.

Worse…

Shantae began to sweat.

"Thirty seconds!" Chris reported. Black Mage took a step away from the tub.

Shantae's eyes darted around as indecision stiffened her body.

Worse…worse…worse…

Her fingers twitched.

WORSE…

The counter reached 0:00.

"Annnd pop goes the beetles!" Chris declared, and pulled out a detonator. Grinning, he pushed the plunger down.

Beam-Me-Up-Scotties

BOOM.

"Whoa, what the hell was that?" Bender asked, looking up out the window. He was currently playing Parcheesi with Duncan and Izzy.

"Probably a bomb going off." Duncan shrugged.

Danger Will Robinsons

Beetles rained down from the sky. Shantae lay on her back, several feet away from where the rub had once been. In its place was a tiny, smoking crater.

"That was quite a blast," Chris remarked, "Now, anyone find that red beetle?"

He was ignored, as while the girls present were trying (And failing) to keep the bugs off their person, Luigi and Harold were trying to help Shantae up. Off to the side, Black Mage shook his head.

"All the more reason why not to bother," He said to himself. HE then notice that there was a red dot on his face and crossed his eyes trying to examine it. "What the hell?"

"We have a winner!" Chris announced, taking Black Mage's hand and raising it like a boxing champ's. The red beetle flew away from the wizard. "Black Mage, you will go on to the next challenge with the rest of your fellow Robinsons! Shantae, sorry to say, but you're outta here."

Shantae, with some help, stood up. Shaking her head, she walked over to the matter transporter.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," the half-genie said, "But, maybe it's better I get out now. After all, it's going to get-"

No one would know how Shantae planned to finish that sentence, as the transporter activated and shot her into the stars.

"That should be me." Black Mage muttered as the Robinsons began their walk back to the rat hole.

"You and me both, dude." Tyler replied.

Chris watched them go before turning to the camera. "What caused the normally energetic Shantae to pause? Can the Robinsons bounce back from this defeat? And will Black Mage ever succeed in getting himself eliminated? Not likely! But find out the answers to the first two questions next time, on Total…Drama…Planet!" One of the beetles landed in his mouth. "Glaah!"

A/N: Sorry it's been such a long time until now to update. A combination of writers block and a lack of interest sorta slowed things down. But now, after…wow, eleven months, I'm ready to this wild ride started again. The new season of Total Drama probably helped. Keep sending reviews, I'll need LOTS of them to feel motivated!