AN: REVISED
8: Time To Go
It must have been the middle of the night when I rolled up the hill, but Daryl was right there at the gate waiting for me. I carefully pulled the bus up to the house slid out, too exhausted to even think about carrying the supplies inside.
"Did you lock the gate?" I asked as he stepped onto the porch behind me.
"Yeah, was there trouble?" He handed the keys over to me quickly, but I was too tired to appreciate the gesture.
"I took care of it." I let out a sigh of relief as I put the keys around my neck. Their weight meant I was home. I was safe. "But I might need to address something soon. A hostile camp might be close."
He looked in the vehicle, seeing how full it was his voice came back with a bite of sarcasm, "Did you think you got everything you need?"
I slouched my shoulders. I was utterly drained. "Can always use more, but for now I guess it'll do." I pulled off my jacket as I went inside and walked into the kitchen. There was a plate of food waiting for me. I motioned to it. "Is this for me?"
"I figured you might want something when you got back."
"You were right. Thank you." I smiled at him the tired smile of a girl who had done too much shopping in one day and sat down, glancing up briefly at his lips before looking down at my plate. "So anything interesting happen around here today?" I began to shovel the food down my gullet.
"A few walkers, but I put 'em down," he said, sitting down too, and pouring himself a glass of water. "You said something about a hostile camp?"
I nodded a few times, chewing what was still in my mouth and taking a sip of water to wash it down. The water tasted divine. I had drunk a few bottles that I'd picked up during my scavenging, but here, sitting down. This water was better. "I was just about to leave when this guy was standing there in my bus like he owned it, saying how it was a good haul and the boys back home would like me or something creepy like that. I could just tell there was something off about him." I shuddered at the thought.
"How'd you get out of it?"
I couldn't look at him with what I was about to say, "I did what I had to do. " I tapped my forehead and ended the mystery, "I shot him. It was close, so I didn't miss, never have from that distance, at least not when they're standing still." I let out a little laugh and forced more food in before swallowing. "I tried to make sure they wouldn't bother me again. Put his head on this jagged bit of a car wreck. Wrote a little message. 'Stay away.' I just don't want the coming here. I think it will work for now, but I might need to go out and take care of them." I sighed before looking up at him, another quick glance to his lips then back to his eyes. "I had to do it. The way he looked at me, and the stuff I'd grabbed. I had to do it."
He didn't seem phased by what I'd done, at least not like I'd expected when I just divulged that I had killed a man. "But no walkers?"
I raised my eyebrows and let out a snort of a laugh, "In that city? Of course there were. There were about a hundred I think, maybe a few more, who counts anymore. But now there's only the ones in the buildings I didn't check." He seemed pretty impressed by my body count. I couldn't help but smirk as I took another sip. "You should sleep though. You've already waited up for me long enough." He nodded and disappeared upstairs. I yelled up after him, "Goodnight!"
I finished the food and went to bed myself. The nightmares were back from the brief hiatus my new friend had caused. That dead man's face was all I could dream about.
-o0o-
I had lots to do in the final days with Daryl, but his help made it much more manageable. I cleared the bus of goods, placing them in the appropriate storage sections; the armory, meds, and some food supplies were located in the garage, although the best guns I kept in my room close at hand. I even asked Daryl to help me sort through the clothes to pick out the ones that would fit his people. Then once that was done, I went about clearing out most of the seats on the bus, then wiping off the blood and guts so that it wouldn't scare off his people. I even put a crate of food in there, a few of the pistols I wasn't fond of with plenty of ammo, and a decent first aid kit just in case he wasn't coming back. It made me feel better knowing that I provided for someone else in some minor way. Before I knew it the last night of Daryl's stay was upon me. I had shampooed that day, breaking with my monthly tradition, and tried out the new underwear I had snagged during my excursion, which had proven to be surprisingly comfortable. I even did my make-up and everything in preparation for tomorrow. Tomorrow morning, before he left down that hill I was going to kiss him, for sure. I had to. He might be the last human man I see for who knows how long. I wasn't going to miss this chance, no way. No chickening out. Hell, this will most likely be the last time we see each other. What did I have to lose?
"How was dinner?" I asked while taking a swig from a bottle of whiskey I had saved for such an occasion, whatever this occasion was anyway.
He was lying flat on the couch, but I could see him smile up at the ceiling. "Best cook of the apocalypse."
I felt a flush of red come to my cheeks, but I stifled it with another swig. He was in an especially good mood today. I appreciated it. It would be nice to remember my new friend like this, remotely friendly. "Thanks for the help with the new refrigerators, they'll come in handy."
"If we come back here, we'll need 'em."
I turned my focus back to my book when a throw pillow landed on the open pages. "Hey!" I threw it back at him and he just laughed, but I took the hint and set down the book. Starting to walk over to sit by him on the couch I spoke up, "Since it is your last night here in my fortress it's only fair that I tell you what happened, why I smoke so much when I remember them." He swung his feet off the couch so I could sit. I took another long swig and handed him the bottle. "Drink up. You'll hate me by the end of it."
He opened his mouth as if to say something, but decided against it with the recommended swig.
"So, I was home visiting my family for my brother's baseball game. He was a big baseball star at his high school. It was the last game of the season, he made the winning home run, and won MVP and everything. it was great seeing him like that. He was a king. I don't think I'd ever seen him so happy. He went out with his friends afterward to celebrate and came home feeling sick. I thought he had just been drinking or something, you know how kids are. We left him alone the next day, 'cause he was still sick, but Sunday was Church," a faint smile spread across my face for a few seconds before I continued, "And you don't just miss Church with my mom around." I even laughed for a moment; happy my mind was fuzzy for what was next. "So she goes in to check on him. We hear a scream, but we figure Joey's just playing a joke or something. After a while Papa goes in to check on them, he screams too. I waited for a bit. I figured he had maybe just puked or something, but when I couldn't hear them anymore I went in to check."
I paused, my face draining of all color and life.
"It was the worst thing I'd ever seen, the worst thing that's ever happened to me or anyone I care about. There was my brother, crouching over Papa all bloody, his hands in Pa's stomach. I panicked and grabbed his bat, it was the closest thing to me, and I swung. I just wanted to stop him from eating our dad, I wasn't planning on… killing him, but then he went and snapped at me. I told him to stop, but he didn't even say anything. It was like he hadn't heard me. His eyes didn't even look right. They weren't his anymore. So I hit him again. And again. And I kept hitting him until he didn't move anymore. Then my mother started moving and snapping at me with those same dead eyes. I did it to her, too. Killed her. And the same with Papa." I looked up at him. "I killed my whole family." I felt the tears streaming, but there was no heat to them tonight. They just poured like rain after a drought. I told a person what I'd done. Someone else knew what happened. I tried to read his face, but I couldn't through the blur.
"You did what you had to do." A hand patted my shoulder and the glow of the TV screen came on.
I wiped of my face quickly, composing myself. "You don't think I'm horrible for what I did?"
"Do you?"
I put my head in my hands, thinking about the horrible things I did to my family. "How couldn't I?"
He rubbed my shoulder. "I know I wouldn't want to be one of those things. I'd rather be dead. They'd probably be thanking you for it today." I just nodded and watched the pictures on the screen.
"Sure." I waited for a few seconds before I spoke up again, "So you don't think I'm the scum of the earth?"
"Hell no."
I nodded. "Guess that makes one of us." I didn't pay attention to what he was watching, all I could do is sit there and try to shut the door I'd just opened. Just push it away, Annie. We can deal with this another day, when we've had more time. Eventually we called it a night and went upstairs. He was about to go into his room, but I had a thought, "Wait."
He leaned out of his doorway and looked at me, "What?"
I took a deep breath. Okay, I had exactly four words to get out of my mouth, and only the nerve for two, maybe three if I was quick enough. "Stay with me tonight," I blurted. He laughed, so I laughed nervously along with him, "That was weird, I'm sorry."
"You want me to sleep with you?"
"Well, not like, doing it." What was I saying? Did I just say 'doing it?' My phrasing got choppy as I tried to figure out what to say while words already poured themselves from my lips, "Like actual sleeping, not intimate… relations… of the sexual nature." I thought that the recent human presence would have put an end to my deteriorating social skills, or at least helped it a bit. It appears that I was wrong. At least he was chuckling. Way to go Annie. This is why you stick to yourself; alone you're unbeatable. People make you all incoherent now. People just make you stupid.
"You really should get some sleep." There was laughter in his voice, but it didn't make me feel embarrassed. I felt fine, like I had accomplished some strange feat. I had dared, and, yeah, it didn't work, but who cares? Dares don't need to work.
"Goodnight." I cracked a smile and stepped into my room.
Before I shut the door I heard a, "Goodnight," come from the hallway.
