Disclaimer: Stargate is not, and has never been (damn it!) owned by me. It's owned by some other guys who are really lucky and had better bleedin' well do something for J&S in the bleedin' movies otherwise I'm going to picket the god damned place where they film it. Who's with me?
Rating: K - mild swearing...really mild, like stuff you would hear in grade 6. You know, I can write a sex scene, but I cringe when I put the 'f' word in a story...why is that?
Spoiler: In the line of Duty.
Sorry it took so long to update, this chapter was a b to write. Started it a half dozen times. Deleted it a half dozen times. Watched the episode more times than I care to remember. Added to the fact that I had a psychology test on Tuesday and came down with a bugger of a cold, sneezing, blinding headaches, shivering so badly I dropped my orange juice on the carper...shocking cold it be, which I'm still in the middle of trying to get rid off, as well as some other things, it's been a hell of a week for me, but I really wanted to get this chapter done. And I really hope it was worth the wait for you guys. As always, reviews would be wonderful.
A special thank you to everyone who has reviewed my story so far, it does 'indeed' (hehe, yay for Teal'c!) warm my heart to know people are enjoying reading this, it really does! Makes a writers day when they get a review.
Damn it Sam, all you had to do was listen to me, but you had to insist on trying to save every single Nasyan, and it nearly cost you your life. To be honest, I'm not sure why I didn't notice something earlier, Sam was a bit…odd after coming back through the 'Gate, but we had just been witness to a massacre of a peaceful nation so a bit of shock was expected. That was the first indicator, the second was when she hit me. I mean, Sam hit me, a little alarm went of in my head about that. The second indicator was when Cassie said that Sam was going to kill her, and I guess the third indicator was when Sam's eyes did the whole glowy thing, kinda confirmed what Cass told Janet and I.
Standing in that gate room, the love of my life no longer in control of her own body as the snake pointed a gun at me, was perhaps the most frightening moment of my life. And when she pulled that god-damn pin on that grenade, my whole world exploded in front of my eyes. And I didn't give a stuff about anyone else, I just wanted my Sam back. And the hardest part? I was put in charge of interrogating the Goa'uld. I had to walk into that holding cell and interrogate the…thing…that had taken over Sam, how on earth was I going to be able to control my actions, my emotions when I was standing in the same room as that…thing that had taken her.
It was an understatement when Teal'c said 'This is difficult', that was the whole damned reason WHY I was sitting in the locker room staring at the damned wall. I was desperately trying to forget the fact that the snake was in Sam. I had to make myself remember that she wasn't Sam. It might look like Sam, but it wasn't Sam, at least not the Sam that I loved. Somehow I think Teal'c knew something, it was the raised eyebrow I think, which was, for him, a look of understanding at the horrible situation that we were in. He reminded me not to see Sam when I spoke to the snake, to look past the exterior and see nothing but the evil thing inside of her. Could I do that though, forget Sam?
Seeing her. Seeing what she had become was one of the most heart breaking, most gut wrenching…soul breaking moments that I had ever been confronted with in my life, and believe me I had been confronted with some heart breaking, gut wrenching and soul breaking moments to LAST a lifetime. Then the snake did something…said something that didn't seem real, seem right. It said that it could leave her, and Sam would return to us, unharmed. My heart screamed with joy, but my brain screamed right back it, telling it to shut the hell up. You can't trust a snake, they will tell you anything to be free, they will do anything to be free. And that point was proved when it used her voice to plead with me. Her beautiful, soft voice, a voice that tore at my very soul to hear. I had to remind myself that it wasn't her pleading with me, it was the snake using her to get to me, and dear god it nearly did. I nearly faltered in my resolve to not see Sam. And it broke my heart all over again to walk out of that room.
I sent Teal'c in to talk to her…it. He had experience in talking to the Goa'uld and he could push away his emotions, his feelings for the host. If only I could do that. He did learn something though, the snake claimed to a part of the "Tok'ra" and that she was being hunted down by an "Ashrak". So now my Sam, was in danger ten-fold. She was being hunted down by a ruthless merciless killer. And we had no idea what he looked like, or where he was. And that thought chilled me to the very core.
And god, he was in the base. The camera was down in the holding cell room, I knew we only had minutes to get there. Maybe less. The consequences of us being too late were…unthinkable. Screeching into that room, seeing her on that floor, it broke me, I couldn't show it, but in that instant I died a thousand deaths, knowing that she was gone. And then her eyes opened, just a little. She wasn't dead. Nearly. But not there yet, and I wasn't going to let her die. Not ever. As they wheeled her into that room, it took all my willpower to stop from breaking down. To punch something, to hurl a chair, to yell at someone, to curl up in a corner and cry, to climb onto that damned bed with her and cradle her in my arms and will her to come back to me. The Goa'uld was dying and it was taking her with it, taking my beautiful Sam along with it, and I could nothing but watch, like the good soldier that I pretended to be. And then there was a pulse. Sam's pulse. She'd won. My heart was pounding so hard I thought Frasier would be able to pick it up on her machines. And then Sam told me something. That the Goa'uld had kept it's promise, it had saved her.
It was nearly a week before they let her off base, I'd been to see her a couple of times, but she would turn away, from me, from Daniel. The only one who could reach her was Cassie. We knew she had to reach out to us. I was sitting on my roof, my jacket pulled tight around my body against the cool nights air, staring at the darkened sky spattered with a million bright lights, when I heard the car pull up. A door slam. A car drive away. The gentle crunch of boots on the gravel. Even from this distance I knew it was Sam. I could recognize her walk, the sound of her footfalls on gravel, on sand, on grass. I knew them all.
"Jack?" she asked as her head appeared on the ladder, followed by the rest of her body.
"Hey Sam." Was all I could mutter as I took in her appearance. The dark rings under her eyes, the pale glow of her skin, the grim look on her face as she suddenly broke down, tears streaming down her face in a constant flow as she continued to stand there.
"C'mere." I said, as I opened my arms, her body flinging it self into my grasp as she buried her head into the crook of my neck, my arms wrapping around her body as I rubbed her back soothingly, calming her the only way I knew how. Her hands gripped my shirt like a vice, clinging to the soft material as she sobbed into my shoulder. She was so cold, she only had on light clothes, clothes not made for being outside in this weather. Shivering as she pulled herself closer into my body, desperately seeking warmth.
"Sam, we gotta get you inside." I said gently, shifting her weight so she slid off my lap and onto her feet, I stood up, an arm wrapped protectively around her waist as I helped her down the ladder.
Entering my room, Sam stood back suddenly as she looked into my arms, seeing the hesitation in them, she gave a sad smile as she kicked her shoes off and climbed into the warmth of my bed, beckoning me to follow. I pulled my jacked off, but hesitated again.
"Jack?" A quiet whisper emanated from the form in my bed, a pleading of sorts as my resolve disappeared.
Crawling in next to her, I scooped her into my body, pulling her close to me as she snuggled into my chest. Wanting to be close to me. Needing to be close to me. And I needed the same from her. Rubbing her back soothingly I felt her body begin to relax into sleep as words that no longer need to be said, but were still nice to hear, formed and then escaped from her lips.
"I love you."
"Love you too Sam." I mumbled into her hair, breathing the scent in as I felt the change in her breathing pattern. I knew she was still asleep, but I still continued to rub her back slowly, needing to reassure myself that she was here, with me in my bed as she sought reassurance herself. That things were going to be alright now, maybe they could never go back to how it was before, but…she was going to be okay. We were going to be okay. Cradling her in my arms, I found my reassurance. She needed someone. And she had found it. In me. Knowing that I could soothe her fears, dry her tears, calm her heart she had come to me. And I knew that I had found my reassurance in her her, she could soothe my fears, dry my tears and calm my heart.
Aww, the fluffyness of it all! As always, please take a few seconds (or minutes, depends on your typing speed) and write a review. Even a "LOVED IT!" would be appreciated...heck even a "this story sucks!" would be nice...well okay not nice, but I like getting emails...and you get emails for reviews...so make my inbox full:P
Next chapter will be "Valentine's Day 1998" (Yeah, a fluffy chapter!) I thought I had it written, but decided to leave the song I used for the final chapter of this story, as it...just perfect for J&S and what I have planned for them. -evil cackle- After that it's straight back into Season 2 with Message in a Bottle, The Tokra Part 1&2 (dealing with Jacob Carter and all that you know). The Fifth Race. Out of mind Part 1 & 2, then yearly review. So, got a lot of writing to do.
Would love song suggestions for the next chapter as well, been trying to find a song but nothing seems right...plus my knowledge of romance songs basically extends to Celine Dion, as much as I like her music, I need to expand my knowledge of romance songs -coughs-. Anyway, I'll stop crapping on and let you get on with writing that review that I know you all want to write. Am I not being subtle enough? -grins-
